FIC: Nothing More Than Strangers (Part 8)

[knowyourlips.livejournal.com]

Title: Nothing More Than Strangers (Part 8)

Rating: R

Pairing: Ryan/Colin

Summary: Hating himself a little for pushing this, and hating Colin a little for not trying harder to stop him, he studies the photo of the two of them until his eyes burn - but only because he hasn't blinked.

Author's Notes: Uh, another slightly long/slightly cheesy chapter coming up. Still just trying to move the story along to where it's meant to be, I guess. -_- Also, the two sets of flashbacks aren't related. Just ... random. *sighs*

 

 

"So..." Drew says, leaning against the couch armrest, "I have the keys!" he holds four pairs up, his head bopping in mock excitement. He hands two sets to Wayne, who holds them in separate hands, far apart, pretending to furrow his brow in confusion. "Same rooms?" Drew asks, looking - a little earnestly - at everyone, and Ryan shrugs, irritably.

Drew tosses him two pairs of keys, and he hangs onto both of them. "Hey," Colin protests, softly, clapping his hands once, expectantly, and Ryan smirks. "Who said I want to room with you again?" he snorts - only half-joking - hugging the keys to his chest protectively, and Colin's mouth opens in mock outrage.

"Well," he sniffs - then pauses. He smiles, sheepishly, and adds, weakly, "that's a bit ... rude," and Ryan can't help but snicker.

"Yeah," is all he says back.

Drew leans towards Brad, holding out another set of keys. "You two?" he asks, nodding towards Greg, who laughs a little, quietly. "We will get to ... mix this up, soon, won't we?" Brad asks, pretending to sound worried, as he takes the keys, and Greg crosses his arms and cocks his head to the side.

"Yeah, like, soon?" he asks, with a mock sneer, and Brad gives him a tiny, genuine, smile. "No-one else'd want to share with you, Greg," Ryan says, dryly, and Greg narrows his eyes at him.

"I don't see everyone lining up to room with you," he pretends to snap, lifting his chin up, and Ryan smirks at him.

"Ladies, please," Wayne interrupts, and Greg laughs, startled. Wayne tosses another set of keys to Chip, who dangles a pair in front of Jeff. Jeff reaches up for them, silently - a little tiredly - and Chip snatches them away. Jeff smiles slightly, reluctantly, and Chip - smiling back a little - hands him a key.

"Looks like it's you and me, baby," Wayne says, his voice teasingly low, and Drew sighs a laugh. "Great," he drawls, with mock disgust, and Wayne pretends to scowl at him.

 

He'd been filling his styrofoam cup at the water cooler when he'd first heard Colin's voice. "Hey

Colin," Drew had said, surprised, and Colin had replied, warmly, "Hi Drew." Ryan had taken a sip of his water and waited. "What are you doing here?" Drew had asked, and Colin had paused. "Uh, just stopped by to see Ryan," he'd replied, as casually as he could. "Does he know you're coming?" Drew had asked - innocently - and Colin had snorted, quietly. "I hope so," he'd said, almost laughing, and Ryan had drained the rest of his cup.

He'd wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he rounded the corner. "Hey Col," he'd said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Hey Ry," Colin had replied, automatically, with a tiny, slightly mocking smile as he crossed his arms. Drew had glanced over at him. "So."

Ryan had coughed. "They're waiting for you on set, Drew," he'd lied, and Drew had stared at him for a beat. "Oh, shit. Yeah, that's right," he'd gone along with him, and Ryan had smiled slightly back at him.

 

Colin opens the door, and he doesn't bother looking up. His friend pauses, at the foot of the bed, though, so he drags his eyes away from the television screen and glances up at him, expectantly. "Yeah?" he asks.

Colin scratches his ear with his pinky finger, pausing, before replying, "We're all meeting for lunch in about ten," he says, simply, and Ryan runs his tongue over his front teeth before answering.

"Why?" he asks, laughing only a little, and Colin blinks, his brow creasing in both confusion and laughter. "Why what?" he asks, and Ryan sticks out his lower lip a little more. "Why do we always have to eat together?" he mutters, even as he straightens up, and Colin smiles a little.

"Drew wants to run through some final stuff for tonight," he answers, neatly sidestepping the question, shoving his hands into his pockets, and Ryan sighs, dramatically.

"Fine," he says, as he swings his legs over the side of the mattress, and grabs the wallet closest to him on the dresser.

Colin makes an odd noise in the back of his throat, and Ryan looks up at him, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Colin swallows, and his head twitches - and Ryan bites back a surprised laugh. "You right?" he asks, looking up at the other man, and Colin nods, silently, blinking a little too much.

He follows Colin's gaze down to the wallet in his hands. "Oh, this is yours," he says, absently, and Colin's eyebrows rise fractionally as he tries to look only mildly interested. "Yeah," he agrees, slowly reaching for it, and Ryan pulls it back, studying his friend thoughtfully.

"You don't like me holding your wallet," he realizes, slightly bewildered, and Colin tries to scoff. "That's not true," he says, weakly, and Ryan grins.

"So you won't mind if I take a look?" he asks, innocently - and he pre-empts Colin's lunge for the wallet, holding it out to the side, and Colin sighs.

"Ryan," he protests, and Ryan shrugs.

"Tell me what it is you don't want me to see," he suggests, smirking slightly - and he'd swear that Colin actually goes to answer before catching himself.

"There's nothing in there," he says, firmly, and Ryan smirks. "Good."

He opens it without looking away from Colin, and his friend's mouth tightens a little. "Man, you really don't want me looking in here," he says, amused. "I wonder what's inside," he teases, gently. "Your real middle name? It can't be worse than Allison," he tries to console Colin, shaking his head slightly, and Colin's head drops forward until his chin almost rests on his chest.

Ryan settles more comfortably on the edge of his bed as he slowly searches through Colin's wallet. Colin makes another sudden grab for it - he actually gets hold of it, this time, at least - but Ryan's hands are underneath and his grip is better.

He pulls it to the side, and Colin falls against him slightly, and he looks up at his friend, smugly - so Colin reluctantly releases his wallet. He slowly sits, next to Ryan, and he eyes Colin, warily. "No more funny business," he pretends to growl, and Colin shrugs, silently.

He turns the wallet to the side, and studies the clear picture window. "Nice photo," he offers, a decade-old picture of his best friend's son smiling up at him, and Colin doesn't reply.

He glances over at him; Colin looks like he's about to be sick, and he turns back to the wallet, curiously.

He carefully pulls the photo of Luke out - along with the half a dozen or so behind it. He risks another glance over at Colin - and his oldest friend in the world looks like, right now, he'd rather die than have Ryan see these pictures.

He knows he should respect Colin's privacy a little more - but he also knows that Colin could fight him a little harder, if he really didn't want him to see - well - whatever it is he doesn't want him to see.

He's also not sure just how respectful of Colin's privacy he's meant to be; Christ, he used to come inside the man - he's had his cock in his mouth; but now he's worried Colin might not want him to look at the photos in his wallet?

It's bullshit; it's fucking awkward and there are apparently no guidelines to shit like this.

 

He'd pressed Colin up against his dressing room door. "How long has it been?" he'd asked, breathily, as he nudged Colin's collarbone with his nose, and Colin had brushed his hands up Ryan's chest. "A week," he'd replied, flatly - even as his eyes danced with laughter - and Ryan had pulled back slightly. "Really?" he'd asked, his forehead furrowing.

Colin had kissed his chin, and he'd laughed. "Yeah. A week," Colin had insisted.

"It feels longer than that," he'd protested, and Colin had smiled slightly. "I know," he'd murmured, as he slowly reached for the buckle of Ryan's belt.

 

He slowly studies the photos, one by one.

There's a photo of Colin and Deb at their wedding that he tries not to look too hard at - but he's sure that that's not what Colin doesn't want him to see.

There's another (more recent) picture of Luke - this time, with Colin - and he pauses, staring a little harder at that one, for a moment.

He clears his throat and moves it to the bottom of the stack, studying the next one curiously - and it takes him a beat to realize that he's staring at Colin's parents. "Your parents?" he checks, anyway, holding the photos up, and Colin nods, silently.

He shuffles it to the back of the pile - and his hands freeze, and Colin sighs, quietly.

Hating himself a little for pushing this, and hating Colin a little for not trying harder to stop him, he studies the photo of the two of them until his eyes burn - but only because he hasn't blinked.

Colin clears his throat but doesn't say anything, and Ryan traces their photographed faces lightly.

"I'd - uh - forgotten I still had that," Colin says, quietly, far too late, and Ryan doesn't say anything.

He pauses, because he knows that there should be at least one more behind this one, and he's not sure if it'll be easier - for both of them - if it's there or if it's not.

He can't look at Colin, but he slowly slides the top photo to the side, and he can see the blue of Colin's sweater before he can actually make out their faces.

Colin reaches out to stop him, covering his hand, gently - accidentally - and he pulls his hand back faster than he reached out; Ryan turns - only a little unwillingly - to meet Colin's gaze.

Colin looks back at him, imploringly. "Leave it," he says, pleadingly, and Ryan swallows. "I just ... want to see them again," he replies, equally as uncomfortably, and Colin shakes his head slightly - but he knows that he's not saying 'no', and somehow - in his mind - not saying 'no' equates to a reluctant 'yes'.

He turns back to the photos, Colin's wallet resting in his lap, and carefully slides the top picture off the tiny pile.

 

Colin had perched on one of his thighs - the booth had been ridiculously tiny - and he'd wrapped his arms tightly around his friend's waist. Colin had laughed, and Ryan had leant in to lick his cheek.

Colin had laughed harder, then turned around to lap the side of Ryan's face, and Ryan had screwed up his face, exaggeratedly - so Colin had pulled back for a moment, before pressing a soft kiss to Ryan's cheekbone.

Ryan had laughed, surprised, as Colin had turned back to the camera, and he'd leant in, quickly, to peck Colin's cheek.

Colin had smiled a little wider, and Ryan had reached up to cup the side of Colin's face, and pressed their cheeks together. Colin had waited for the flash before turning slightly in Ryan's lap and all but

leaping on him.

He'd grabbed Ryan's face with both hands and kissed him, their mouths both slightly open, and the two of them still laughing a little.

Colin had pulled back after a moment and brushed his fingertips oiver Ryan's lips. Ryan had pecked them, lightly, and Colin had smiled - almost

shyly, after all that, and Ryan had just snickered.

 

He stares at the picture of Colin kissing his cheek - he hasn't actually seen it since Colin so carefully divided the photos between the two of them - and tries to swallow.

He hadn't really understood, at the time (which, really, wasn't altogether that surprising), why Colin had chosen to split the pictures like he did - but he looks at how happy he seems to be in the photo, and thinks he understands now.

He's not really surprised that Colin still has the photographs, he realizes, but he's surprised that the other man keeps them in his wallet.

But - at the same time - he's also somehow not.

 

They'd studied the photos, one at a time, Ryan's arm loosely wrapped around Colin's waist, and they'd laughed, softly, together.

"So who gets which photos?" Ryan had asked, his lips on Colin's ear, and Colin had touched the photos thoughtfully.

"I was thinking," he'd said, seriously, and Ryan had snorted. "Here we go," he'd teased, gently, and Colin had raised his eyebrows in mock indignation, turning his head to look at him, and Ryan had kissed his cheek again. "Go on," he'd mumbled, and Colin had continued to stare at him for a beat, before turning back to the photos.

"Well," he'd said, slowly, "I think you should get these two," he'd pointed to the photos of Ryan kissing his cheek and him licking Ryan, "and I should get

these two," Colin had added, pointing to the pictures of him pecking Ryan's cheek and Ryan licking his face.

"Any particular reason?" Ryan had smirked, and Colin had blinked. "Well, if anyone were ever to see them ... I'd much prefer to have a photo of you licking me than me licking you," he'd said, with mock innocence, and Ryan had cocked his head to the side.

"Really?" he'd asked, "It seems pretty disgusting, either way, to me," he'd deadpanned, and Colin had glared at him.

"It'd be far easier to explain why you were licking me than it would be to explain why on earth I was licking you," he'd sniffed, and Ryan had snorted in laughter.

"You actually have a point," he'd said, pretending to be amazed, and Colin had scowled. "Asshole," he'd pouted, jokingly, and Ryan had chuckled, dryly, and amended, "Icehole," as he'd patted Colin's back.

 

He coughs and - very slowly - slides the photo to the side, and he can see the grey of his own sweatshirt and (as ridiculous as it seems, even to him) he tries to brace himself for the last picture.

Colin glances away, and he pauses slightly before whipping the photo away - like a bandaid, he decides - and his breath hitches slightly (and he hopes that Colin didn't notice) when he sees the picture again.

He'd forgotten what it looked like; he'd forgotten that Colin's thumb had been stroking the skin just in front of his ear, and he'd forgotten that he'd reached up to clutch at Colin's forearm.

He stares at the picture, without actually seeing it; but he can't help noticing - and he hadn't noticed this back then, he doesn't think - the lines around his mouth ... and he remembers, suddenly - and vividly - just how hard he'd been laughing.

 

"What about the last two?" he'd asked, dipping his head for a moment to rest his chin on Colin's shoulder.

"Uh," Colin and his hands had hesitated. "I-I-"

"Which one do you want?" Ryan had asked, amused, and Colin had smiled sheepishly.

"The last one?" he'd almost asked, and Ryan had squeezed his waist. "OK," he'd agreed. "So I get that one?" he'd checked, pointing to the only photo of both of them actually

facing the camera, and Colin had nodded.

"Great," he'd said - and it had sounded flat, even to his own ears, but he hadn't meant it to.

 

"I should - throw them out or something," Colin says, embarrassed, and Ryan clutches the photos a little tighter. "No," he protests, without thinking, and Colin gives him a slightly puzzled look, so he looks down at the pictures again. "No," he repeats, a little quieter. "Don't throw them out."

Colin tries to laugh. "Yeah, it's a bit weird for me to still be carrying them around," he replies, his neck flushing slightly, and Ryan pauses, before saying, a little deadly, "You still have a photo of Deb."

Colin blinks, and Ryan cringes slightly. "No, I meant ..." he trails off, and Colin forces a smile. "I know what you meant," he says, aiming for a joking tone, and Ryan tries to smile a little at him.

"They're nice photos," he struggles to say, and Colin smiles faintly. He silently reaches out for the photos - Ryan holds onto them for only a fraction of a second too long - and his wallet. He shuffles them until the photo of Luke's at the top again, and he shoves them back behind the plastic window.

Colin looks up at him, uncomfortably. "I'll ... get rid of them later," he promises - and he knows Colin's lying, and he knows Colin knows he knows he's lying, but he'll be damned if either of them are going to do anything but pretend that Colin's actually going to destroy the stupid pictures.

Colin plays with his wallet, undoing and redoing the tiny silver button, and Ryan sighs, almost silently.

He knows he's embarrassed Colin terribly, and he knows that there's one surefire thing he could do to make his friend feel even slightly better - but he can't bring himself to even think seriously about doing it.

He tries to imagine a scenario in which he'd actually admit that he still carries around the other three photos - in his wallet, nonetheless - but comes up with nothing.

He clears his throat. "We should go. We're going to be late," he says, abruptly, and Colin's head snaps up.

"Yeah," he says, immediately, rising to his feet.

He gets slowly to his feet, grabbing his wallet from the bedside table, and Colin tucks his into his pocket.

"Let's go," Colin adds, as casually as he can - but without looking back at him.

Comments

[indybaggins.livejournal.com]

-Dhhhh- Oh... Pictures! In wallets!

Major love. Always, forever. Your fic, and me, and me and your fic, and... Dhhh!

This was bloody good. Every time there's a new chapter I just have to know what comes next and yeah... It's a major compliment that it only takes a couple pages for get me all crazy and incoherent about this again.

To sum it up: Emma=writer=good. *laughs*

[knowyourlips.livejournal.com]

Oh, I knew it. You're just using me to get to my fics

;)

And yes, I'm being weird, even for me. O_o

*cracks up* But ... so were you. :P

*hugs*

[indybaggins.livejournal.com]

O Yes I am ;) Yay for wierdness! *hugs back*

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Ohhh... :( I love the flashbacks and how Colin kept the pictures. And Ryan kept his too... Gahhh, here am I clinging to any bit of sap that I can in the middle of an angsty story. LOL.

There's just so much history between them and you're doing a great job with bringing it all out bit by bit... Although I confess I am dying to know why they aren't together!

Emily :)

[knowyourlips.livejournal.com]

Hey, thank you. *smiles*

I clinging to any bit of sap that I can in the middle of an angsty story. LOL. I don't know why that made me laugh. Possibly because I was all, 'yeah, this is kinda depressing, geez ...' *blinks* Sometimes I worry about myself. ;)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Just, just... Colin! Ryan! The pictures and the shyness and the memories and what was that about Deb, anyway? Why wouldn't Colin still carry a picture of her? Are they not together or something? And Ryan, who still has his pictures but won't admit it and Colin who could have fought harder to keep Ryan from seeing, but maybe he didn't want to. Maybe he wanted Ryan to know he still has feelings. Maybe he wanted Ryan to have to face that, because Ryan seems intent on ignoring the whole thing, pretending everything is fine.

And mmmm for Ryan and Colin kissing and laughing and playing in a photo booth and I want to see those pictures.

[knowyourlips.livejournal.com]

Are they not together or something? *tries to look mysterious* I don't know ... are they? (If you're actually asking; no, they're not. But I don't think I've actually said that anywhere *cracks up* Why are you people not mind readers?)

Maybe if I'd actually written this whole thing out and put - oh, say - the flashbacks in order before I started posting, it wouldn't be half as confusing ;) ... *trails off* Oh well. *takes a deep breath* There's nothing wrong with ... with a ... uh, slow reveal. *nods* Yeah. My story's just intentionally backwards. *rolls eyes*

... I'm sorry. Why am I venting here? *looks around* More to the point; thanks for the comment. And for understanding the two of them, lol. :) Oh, I owe you a comment, I think. *blinks*

[carlachameleon.livejournal.com]

Amazing. As usual.

Love this story so much!

[knowyourlips.livejournal.com]

Thank you :) You're always really nice about this fic. ;)

[krzcowzgomoo.livejournal.com]

Wow.

In short, wow.... (hee hee, leave it to me to put in as few words as possible)

[knowyourlips.livejournal.com]

Ha, there's nothing wrong with being ... succinct. ;)

[krzcowzgomoo.livejournal.com]

lol, what's with you people and big words? now I have to go look that up! XD

[maradao.livejournal.com]

Everything that’s going on in Ryan’s head at the end, and the way he justifies looking through the wallet, even though he doesn’t feel right about it, and the flashbacks… just wow.

You’ve got a lot going on here, and a lot you still aren’t telling, but somehow it works, it all makes sense, and I want to read more. Looking forward to the next part. :>)

[knowyourlips.livejournal.com]

You’ve got a lot going on here I truly believe that that's the nicest way you could've worded that. :)

I know it seems kind of weird, to reply to comments and just be like, 'OMG, thank you sooooooo much' (or something to that effect :P), but ... I don't know. I figure if you take the time to read and comment, then I should take a minute to ... acknowledge that? lol. And yes, I'm aware that I take fanfics far too seriously ;)

[maradao.livejournal.com]

"You’ve got a lot going on here" I truly believe that that's the nicest way you could've worded that. :)

*laughs* I wasn’t dancing around a criticism, if that’s what you mean. I like ambitious, complex stories, especially when I can actually understand what’s going on in them. ;>)

And yes, I'm aware that I take fanfics far too seriously ;)

Hey, if taking fanfic too seriously means that you write better and better stories, and acknowledge the comments of others about your stories, and care enough to comment on their stories in turn -- if that’s overseriousness, I wish more people were guilty of it.

And like they say, if you don’t take your own work seriously -- who else will, right? :>)

[leatharegee.livejournal.com]

dohhhhhhh wow. Pictures in wallets! I love, but hate at the same time, the way Ryan is treating their relationship. Like he keeps finding stuff about how Colin still misses their relationship and all that, but keeps all of his secrets and desires pertaining to it to himself because he knows he has to. I don't know if that makes sense but yeah. lol. I feel so bad for Colin though, it feels like he keeps getting embarassed while ran gets to retain his pride...even though we all know it's killing ryan to do so. ^_^ I can't wait for more!

[knowyourlips.livejournal.com]

I love, but hate at the same time, the way Ryan is treating their relationship. I don't think that should've made me as happy as it did O_o. *blinks* At least he's coming across like he is in my mind?

Although I think I've just come to, like, an epiphany about the way I write Ryan and Colin and their relationship in, well, every single fic ... namely who calls the shots. *strokes chin thoughtfully* Hmm.

Goal for future *makes mental note*: write a piece where Colin isn't being manipulated or embarrassed or ... anything else. Even though that makes him more ... cuddle-able? ;) But yeah. Getting back on track :) *shakes head* Sorry. Got distracted there. Thank you for reading and commenting =D

Oh, and yeah. It made sense :P

[leatharegee.livejournal.com]

Well, thing is, I see Ryan calling the shots too. I do think that they seem very much in character, it's just that well, I feel bad for Colin. But it makes him that much more cuddle-able...and also, usually, we know that eventually Ryan'll make it up to him. :P

[clayangel.livejournal.com]

"No-one else'd want to share with you, Greg," Ryan says, dryly, and Greg narrows his eyes at him. --- *cough cough* Now you're trying to encourage me to push you in the wrong direction... ^_~

Oh, that wallet scene is fucking awesome. I'm not finished reading yet, so I'll wait to go into more depth, but I just need to say that.

Finished now and you have me speechless and I need to think before I can respond, but I have to go get ready for work. I just wanted to reply to this because I've been an ass and have been taking forever to read anything. Hopefully I'll be able to come back and gush more later.

[clayangel.livejournal.com]

Okay, yes, so more now. Um.... That so got me routing for Ryan/Colin. Those two just need to hook up all over the place. And I need to kick Ryan in the head. A lot. ^_____^ And I wanted to say more than this... but... I don't know what to say. It was just... it's one of those things that leaves you aching. So yeah. That was good.