FIC: Dirty Little Secret (Part 7)

[knowyourlips.livejournal.com]

Title: Dirty Little Secret (Part 7)

Rating: R

Pairing: Ryan/Colin

Summary: He'd known Colin was in love with him the first time he'd broken down and begged; he'd pushed his friend up against the wall of his own dressing room, and Colin had simply watched him.

Author's Notes: As always, the comments are appreciated =)

 

Part Seven:

Tell me all that you've thrown away

 

He'd known Colin was in love with him the first time he'd broken down and begged; he'd pushed his friend up against the wall of his own dressing room, and Colin had simply watched him.

He'd rested his forearms on the wall behind Colin, and he'd ducked his head. He'd pressed a series of open mouthed kisses to the side of Colin's neck, and his teeth had lightly grazed the shorter man's earlobe, and one of Colin's hands had reached up to touch his hip.

He'd ground into him, then; he'd thrusted - and none too gently - and he'd rubbed against Colin; "Col - please," he'd begged, though his panting, and he hadn't been able to remember ever being that desperate.

Colin had undone his zipper - and instead of reaching into his cotton boxers, like Ryan had expected, the shorter man had gently urged him to reverse their positions. He'd smiled a little wryly at Ryan's dubious look, and had murmured softly, "Trust me."

He'd known Colin was in love with him when he'd knelt down in front of Ryan - and both of them had known that he was really too old to be doing that; they'd both known that it was going to wreak havoc on his knees; neither of them had felt up to pointing that out.

Then Colin had taken him in his mouth, and Ryan had reached down to grab his friend's shoulder. "Christ - Colin," he'd said, thickly, and his friend's tongue had darted out and stroked the underside of his cock, and he hadn't been able to help tightening his grip on Colin's poor shoulder.

He'd known Colin was in love with him when he'd come in his friend's mouth, and the older man had stroked the side of his thigh, before straightening up, rubbing the small of his back exaggeratedly - a little nervously - and Ryan had considered him for a long moment.

Colin had - perhaps without even realizing - reached up and wiped the corners of his mouth with the pad of his thumb; Ryan had known, even then, even with his brain too fuzzy to begin thinking about normal conversation, that he needed to say something.

But absolutely nothing had come to mind, and the silence had stretched on.

"Pat's taken the kids to her mother's for the week," he'd blurted out, eventually, and his friend had blinked, slowly, at him. "Do you want to come over tonight?" he'd added, a little too self-consciously - and both of them had hated, silently, just how forced the invitation was.

Colin had opened his mouth and sighed, through a tired chuckle, and they'd both known that he was about to politely decline when Ryan had forced out - a little frantically, maybe, "Please - Col."

His friend had swallowed, genuinely surprised, and he'd tried again. "I'll make dinner," he'd promised, and Colin had nearly smiled. "Is that supposed to make me want to come?" Colin had asked, as normally as he could - and it was only because Ryan knew him better than anyone else in the world did that he noticed that his friend's voice was a fraction lower than normal.

"Well, no," Ryan had admitted, sheepishly. "But the fact that no-one else'll be home should," and Colin's eyes had widened, almost imperceptibly, at the sheer blatancy, and Ryan had been compelled to add, "That, and the fact that I have more cable channels than you."

 

He'd known Colin was in love with him the first time he'd tried to cook him dinner. He'd sat down opposite his friend, in the silence of his empty-for-the-week house, and Colin had met his gaze for a long moment.

He'd coughed, and had looked away, and reached for the food. "Hungry?" he'd asked, as he forced a smile, and Colin had only nodded silently.

He'd known Colin was in love with him when his friend had actually taken a bite of the more-than-slightly charred lasagne.

 

He'd known Colin was in love with him when his friend had let him take him in the lounge room - Ryan and Pat's bedroom and the kids' rooms were all off-limits, they'd wordlessly agreed.

He'd urged Colin onto the armchair, and his friend had knelt - if a little precariously - on it; Ryan had stood behind him, and he hadn't been able to keep his hands still - they'd brushed up Colin's sides and petted his spine and stroked the skin just below his belly button.

The chair had rocked too much for either of their liking; every push into Colin had moved it back a half-inch or so, and Ryan had finally withdrawn, with a groan.

They'd pushed the armchair against the wall to stop it moving; "Colin," he'd panted. "Give me a hand?" Colin had braced one foot on the carpet, and they'd both shoved until the chair had hit the living room back wall.

He'd known Colin was in love with him when his best friend had pretended not to notice the family portrait hanging only feet away.

 

He'd known Colin was in love with him when the older man had reluctantly agreed to come over for dinner again; "Pat wants to know if you and Deb would like to come over for dinner tomorrow," Ryan had announced, a little sulkily, not eight days later, and Colin hadn't reacted for a moment. "Uh, sure," he'd agreed, unenthusiastically, and Ryan had grimaced his agreement.

 

He'd known Colin was in love with him when his friend had lied for him. "Oh, we should give them a tour," Pat had reminded Ryan, her hand resting softly against his forearm. "You haven't been here since we did the place up, have you?" she'd checked, and Colin had replied, easily, "No, we haven't."

Ryan had stared at him, and Colin had refused to meet his gaze.

 

Ryan had served the lasagne; "Lasagne, Col?" he'd asked, his hand hovering above his friend's plate, and the older man had paused. "Uh," he'd replied, craning his neck to get a better look at it, and Ryan had smiled, for a split second. "Pat made it," he'd snapped, with mock anger, and Colin had smiled up at him. "Sure, then," he'd replied; Deb and Pat had both laughed, gently, and Ryan had ducked his head to cut Colin a piece, and had smiled to himself.

He'd chewed on his dinner without really tasting it; he'd stared across the table at Colin, and the other man had met his eyes; he'd realized then - and he'd known that Colin had realized a bit before him - that they were in the same seats they'd been in last time they were here together.

He'd nearly choked on his mouthful of food.

 

They'd sat in the lounge room after dinner; Ryan and Pat had taken the sofa, so Deb had joined them, and Colin had - after the smallest of hesitations - perched on the armchair.

Ryan had stared - transfixed - at the indents the armchair had left in the carpet; they'd pushed the damn chair back to where they figured it roughly belonged, but he could still see the marks from where it had originally sat.

He'd known Colin was in love with him when his friend had pretended to straighten his clothes for a minute; when Colin had finally looked up, they'd locked eyes for only a split second, and neither had been quite sure who'd glanced away first.

Comments

[leatharegee.livejournal.com]

Oh you're so damn good at building suspensefulness! Ryan knew Colin was in love with him when they did all this stuff...I can't wait to find out what Ryan learns from all of this!

He'd known Colin was in love with him when his best friend had pretended not to notice the family portrait hanging only feet away.
--->my favorite line, I think, by far in this segment.

[foureyedsnail.livejournal.com]

Oh! Oh! I steal that thought! Yes. Very good line. Seconded.

[anesthesiagirl.livejournal.com]

so, i don't think colin is just watching and taking it passively.......i think you've done a great job writing how he struggles with the desire to preserve what little he has with ryan and with his hurt and pain at all of the mixed signals and emotional abuse ryan has sent his way. basically you've written a different spin on an abusive relationship. it seems harsh to call ryan abusive, but that's how i'm reading him here. that and watching colin be broken little by little. very hot, but very, very sad.......well done as always!

[clayangel.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to start this without declaring my undying love for you. Oh. My. God. *incoherent for a moment* I LOVE this story so much. And it just keeps getting better with each chapter. I love watching the subtle transformation of this affair as time goes on, and the way we're getting into the awkward phase... ^_^ And this goes without say, but you write fantastically. Yay. ^____^ *waits with bated breath for more*

[indybaggins.livejournal.com]

Seconds undying love. Woman, you need to start a religion ;)

[athinfacade.livejournal.com]

OMG I love your stories they're amazing. This is great!!

[jessica-whoser.livejournal.com]

I'm still in awe of this one.