The Whose Line Stage Manager/Babysitter Schedule

[vega-pleiades.livejournal.com]

I wrote this in Algebra today while I was bored. Ships included are Ryan/Colin, and a mention of Brad/Wayne. Also, male pregnancy. So if that's not your thing, look away.



6:30 A.M: Get up, drive to studio
7:00 A.M: Detach Ryan & Colin from each other
7:15 A.M: Pay off Fangirl Mafia to not publish raunchy Ryan/Colin photos
7:30 A.M: Pump fatty foods into Drew’s formaldehyde tank
8:00 –
9:15 A.M: Avoid ABC execs
9:30 A.M: Explain to Wayne that you can’t get donuts because you need to see the prop people
9:32 –
9:35 A.M: Run down to the Krispy Kreme
9:36 A.M: Refuse to get more donuts
9:40 A.M: Convince prop people to make better props
9:55 A.M: Explain to Dan Patterson that the show doesn’t need a purpose
10:00 A.M: Brad’s Jazzercise class
10:30 A.M: Drive back to studio
10:43 A.M: Detach Ryan & Colin again
11:00 A.M: Chase away fangirls at entrance
11:05 A.M: Fill 5,000 pitchers of water (just in case)
11:15 A.M: Meetings with censors to explain that they can’t do reshoots, attempt to stop Ryan from killing them
11:30 A.M: Hide censor’s bodies
11:45 A.M: Remove waste from Drew’s tank
12:00 A.M: Lunch
12:05 A.M: Lunch over
12:10 A.M: Take chairs to chair-laundering place
12:20 A.M: Lure fangirl away from Greg’s dressing room w/ picture of Ryan & Colin obtained from Fangirl Mafia
12:35 A.M: Call security on fangirl’s ass
12:43 A.M: Detach Ryan & Colin again
1:00 P.M: Fangirls Anonymous meeting
1:30 P.M: Return to studio, listen to repeated chant of “Whadja bring me? Whadja bring me?” from Brad & Chip
1:45 P.M: Hand clean stage
1:50 –
2:00 P.M: Test buzzer/doorbell
2:05 P.M: Make Chip a sammich
2:20 P.M: Accidentally walk in on Brad and Wayne
2:25 P.M: Makeout session w/ Jeff
2:40 P.M: Attempt to get funny celebrities to appear on the show
2:45 P.M: Call back Pauly Shore and explain to him that he is neither funny nor a celebrity
3:00 P.M: Secret viewings of the “Boa Constictor” game
3:30 P.M: Feed Drew again
3:40 P.M: Yell at Ryan & Colin to stop making out in the hallways
3:45 P.M: Shave Colin’s head
4:00 P.M: Buy more tacky shoes for Ryan
4:15 P.M: Supervise audience seating cleanup crew
4:40 P.M: Explain to Dan Patterson where babies come from
4:41 P.M: Stunned silence when Dan says Colin is pregnant with Ryan’s baby
4:45 P.M: Ask Colin about pregnancy
5:00 P.M: Buy maternity clothes despite self
5:15 P.M: Dispose of waste from Drew’s tank
5:30 P.M: Epic war with the cast of Friends
6:00 P.M: Nap
6:01 P.M: Be immediately awakened by Brad
6:03 P.M: Complain
6:30 P.M: Awaken Drew from tank
6:35 P.M: Detach Ryan & Colin again
6:40 P.M: Help Colin think of baby names, wonder to self how the baby will come out
7:00 P.M: Crowd control w/ tazer
7:05 P.M: Distract cops w/ leftover donuts
7:30 P.M: Discipline makeup people for writing “I Banged Colin” on Ryan’s face in everlast-lipcolor
8:00 P.M: Show begins
8:15 P.M: Taser spies from Friends
10:00 P.M: Show ends
10:30 P.M: Afterparty, make out w/ Jeff in a corner
10:45 P.M: Put Drew back in the tank
10:50 P.M: Attempt to muffle noise emanating from Ryan & Colin’s dressing room
11:00 –
11:30 P.M: Worker’s Union meeting
12:00 P.M: Hot sex w/ Jeff
12:30 P.M: Hot sex over, sleep

The end.

Comments

[boomc98.livejournal.com]

"11:15 A.M: Meetings with censors to explain that they can’t do reshoots, attempt to stop Ryan from killing them
11:30 A.M: Hide censor’s bodies

3:45 P.M: Shave Colin’s head


These are my favorites, but I LOVE the entire thing!

[indybaggins.livejournal.com]

Whahahahaha! O My God I am just in stiches here...

"Help Colin think of baby names, wonder to self how the baby will come out"
"Discipline makeup people for writing “I Banged Colin” on Ryan’s face in everlast-lipcolor"

*Fall of her chair and is still laughing on the ground*

[clayangel.livejournal.com]

That was great. ^_^ I was laughing my ass off.

[clayangel.livejournal.com]

One more thing. I would love to put up this and your other story in the Whose Line Slash archive I'm making: http://claydevil.net/wlsfa I'd, of course, link to your email and whatever web site you call home if you so prefer.

[vega-pleiades.livejournal.com]

Of course! I don't actually have a website though, and I try to keep my email under wraps because I am paranoid about spam. But as long as my name's tacked on there, I'm happy.