Wrath and Emeralds - Chapter 7b

[draconica-nova.livejournal.com]

Title: Wrath and Emeralds – 7b/12
Chapter Rating: PG
Overall Rating: R
Warning(s): None
Summary: How does Ryan cope with what he's done?

Author's Notes: This is a tiny little part which adds on to the previous chapter. Longer chapter soon, I swear. xD


Colin sat patiently and waited for Ryan to begin, but not before Ryan moved to rest his head on his friend’s shoulder, which confused Colin a bit at first but soon warmed to it, rubbing a hand up the other man’s back in reassurance that he was here and wasn’t going anywhere.

“I didn’t feel any different when I saw her,” Ryan started, looking down at his hands thoughtfully. “If anything, I thought it would make it go away, but… obviously not.”

Colin didn’t even have to ask what “it” Ryan was referring to. “How was she?”

“In tears,” he replied sadly. “I’d only been gone a day and she was worried sick.”

“Can you blame her? She loves you.”

There was a pause and Ryan began to shake with silent tears. Colin had gotten the uncomfortable feeling that the conversation was heading into the more delicate territory and so tightened the hold on Ryan’s shoulder a bit more.

“When I change,” Ryan began quietly, “it’s like when you’re having a nightmare. You can see everything but you can do nothing about it. I’m trapped in a monster’s body. I could sense her fear and she was just terrified of me, Colin. It was like a pain I’d never felt before…”

Ryan’s finger began to trace patterns on the couch cushions distractedly – he could feel Colin’s warmth and love, which felt all too real after what had happened. He was sure he heard Colin say something but was focusing too much on other things to notice.

“Ry?” Colin shook him a little and Ryan was jolted back into the room in time for him to swallow back another stiff ache in the back of his throat. “Ry, what happened with Pat?”

A few deep breaths later, Ryan continued to describe what terror he’d caused the many people that night. As he recalled each detail, he felt a shiver wrack his spine and the inner animal starting to writhe as if to mock him, wanting out.

“The rest is a bit of a blur,” Ryan admitted, now distracted by a loose bit of thread on Colin’s jeans. “I remember feeling so angry… but then nothing. I woke up here.”

The recollection of how he’d come around suddenly caused Ryan and influx of silent shudders and at that point there was nothing left for Colin to say or do but hold him tightly, willing the pain away but not knowing how to do so. He found it ironic that, over the twenty years that they’d known each other, being there for one another was relatively easy, as it had become a sub-conscious gesture. But now that the price had become too high and the threat too great, truly being there for one another seemed a lot harder to do.

It was the ultimate measure of two best friends.

To be continued…