One Shot: Letting Go

[saiya-tina.livejournal.com]

Title: Letting Go
Rating: PG-13 for slashiness
Pairing: past Brad/Ryan, current Brad/Wayne and Ryan/surprise

Summary: When you love someone, you should let them free.

A/N: Just a sudden inspiration. I was just watching a couple of episodes to get inspirationg for my Wayne voice and I got intrigued with the idea of Brad/Wayne. To me, they're the most obvious couple after Ryan/Colin....anyway, enjoy! Next chapter of BnP will be up tomorrow or day after, depending on how long it takes me to re-read it. Stupid chapter's about four thousand words and went way out of hand....

Please leave a comment!

Ryan took a deep breath of the cool night air before curling up in his makeshift couch consisting of some cushions and pillows and looking up at the dark sky. It was fortunately a clear night and the stars and full moon were out, bathing the balcony in a pure white light. He tugged on the blanket he was huddled under and drew imaginary patterns in the stars, smiling as he recognized a couple of constellations that his father had shown him as a child.

 

Normally, he wouldn’t be out in the cold like this, but today, he felt the almost irrepressible need to just get out. His lover slept on inside, unaware of his turmoil and Ryan preferred it that way. This was something that he wanted to deal with on his own and if he knew his lover, he would try his hardest to help him in whatever way.

 

It had been two years. Two years since the spark had left his previous relationship. Two years since he realized that they had become nothing more than friends with benefits, something they had never thought would happen after such a passionate affair. Two years since he had let him go.

 

He still remembered the conversation he’d had with his then love; The man who he thought he would spend his entire life with. But he knew it wasn’t meant to be; they were too different and while that may have worked earlier, he knew all too well that their relationship had come to an end.

 

Flashback:

 

“Brad, we need to talk.”

 

Brad Sherwood looked up at his lover for the past ten years and smiled, gesturing for him to sit down next to him on the couch. Ryan took a seat but kept a respectable distance between them, something Brad didn’t fail to notice.

 

“Is something wrong?” Brad asked with a frown, moving closer and feeling even more worried when Ryan shifted away, “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“No,” Ryan shook his head, “We’re both doing something wrong.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I think we need to start seeing other people.”

 

Brad nearly felt his world shatter in front of him as he stared at the man he had given his heart and soul to for the past so many years. Ryan hadn’t shown any indication that he wanted to end their relationship and while he knew that they weren’t nearly as passionate about it as they were before, Brad had never expected to hear that.

 

“Why?” he heard himself ask, “What did I do? Do you not love me anymore? Did I-”

 

“Brad,” Ryan shushed him, moving his hands to cup his face and wiping away tears that he didn’t even know he was crying. At one point, that touch would have inflamed him but now, all it did was calm him down enough to hear what Ryan was saying.

 

“I love you, you know that,” Ryan whispered, a small smile flickering on his lips, “But I know that you don’t return the sentiment.”

Brad opened his mouth to protest, to yell at Ryan for even thinking that he didn’t love him anymore, but Ryan cut him off, “I know what you’re going to say, but I stand by what I said. You like me, but love isn’t in the equation anymore.”

 

“I do love you,” Brad whispered, taking Ryan’s hand into his own, “how can you possibly not know that?”

 

“You love me, but as a friend,” Ryan continued in that same soft tone, “You haven’t been in love with me for a long time, Brad, and we both know it. And I’m fine with it.”

 

Brad wanted to protest but found that he just couldn’t. He had tried to hide the fact that he had seemingly fallen out of love with Ryan, not wanting to hurt someone who had only committed the crime of loving him unconditionally, but even he knew that Ryan would see it someday. He had been trying to postpone it for as long as possible, but now he knew that it was time that the issue was addressed.

 

“We’ve just been staying together out of convenience,” Ryan continued, “but I can’t do that anymore. I don’t want to be the reason that you don’t find someone to love. If we keep holding each other back like this, we’ll grow to resent each other and I don’t want that. So I’m telling you now, we need to let go.”

 

“But there isn’t anyone,” Brad choked out, “I love you, Ryan!”

 

“Wayne.”

 

Brad gave him a confused look and Ryan laughed, shaking his head at his ex-lover’s obliviousness. How he could have not noticed that Wayne had a crush on him bigger than the Titanic was beyond him, especially when it was all the crew members would talk about. Well, that and Ryan’s supposed tryst with Colin.

 

“I knew that you normally don’t pay attention to your surroundings, but this is a bit much even for you,” Ryan grinned but Brad still looked confused and he realized that Brad really was completely unaware of the entire thing. “Wayne has been in love with you ever since you two started working together. Did you really not notice?”

 

“How could I?” Brad whispered, placing a soft kiss on Ryan’s hand more out of habit than anything else, “I was with you and....”

 

“I’m not upset, Brad,” Ryan murmured, “But I wish I’d had the courage to do this earlier. The time we wasted not being honest to each other....I don’t want to continue that way. We were good as lovers, but we really are best as friends. You may not think of it now, but this really is for the best.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Brad sounded truly regretful, “I wanted to hide it, I never wanted to hurt you, but-”

 

“It’s alright, Brad,” Ryan smiled and Brad was reminded of why he had fallen in love with him in the first place, “I said I forgive you. Will you forgive me for letting this charade go on for so long?”

 

“This wasn’t a charade,” Brad whispered, looking back on their time together. He didn’t regret anything, not a single moment. Even when he had realized that the love had gone out of their relationship, he had still enjoyed his time with Ryan and, even if he had the choice, he wouldn’t change a thing. His thoughts were cut off when Ryan leaned forward for a soft kiss, nothing more than the brushing of their lips before he pulled back.

 

“That’s all I needed to hear,” Ryan said softly before getting off the couch and making his way to the door, stopping just before leaving the room. He turned back to Brad and grinned, “Thanks for the best years of my life, Brad. I hope you and Wayne are happy together and- don’t look at me like that, I’ve seen the way you look at him- may what happened with us never happen with you two.”

 

Present:

 

Ryan smiled as he remembered the day Wayne and Brad came out with their relationship. It had upset him to see Brad so happy with someone who wasn’t him, but just the look of sheer joy on his ex-lover’s face had put away any uncertainties he may have had. It had been awkward at first, especially when Brad was the fourth seater for a taping, but Ryan had taken special measures to show them that he really was okay by purposely setting up situations for Brad and Wayne to display their relationship. He couldn’t help but feel touched, however, at the effort they had put in to not flaunt their love around him. He had been right; they had been good lovers, but even better friends.

 

It had been a long time since that heartbreak, but he was over it now. Now, his heart belonged to the man in bed in the room behind him. The man who had now crouched down behind him and wrapped his arms around him, bringing a fluffy blanket with them that immediately warmed him up. Ryan smiled as he leaned back into the touch of his lover, his hands coming up to grasp the ones resting on his chest, shivering as warm lips descended along the length of his neck.

 

“Trying to catch frostbite?” an amused voice asked from behind him, warm breath ghosting along Ryan’s shoulder.

 

“Just looking at the stars,” Ryan responded, one hand moving to pet dark brown hair that felt as fluffy as it looked.

 

“Jeez, since when have you been such a cheesy romantic, Stiles?” the man snorted, but his arms tightened just a fraction, enough for Ryan to get the underlying message.

 

Ryan smiled and nudged the person behind him with a playful elbow, “About the same time you became such an unromantic bastard.”

 

“Ouch, you wound me. Really.” Greg dead-panned, smirking at his lover, “Can we go in or are we going to wait here until our dicks freeze?”

 

Ryan rolled his eyes, but had to admit that he was feeling rather chilled, especially considering he had sat out here for God knows how long without so much as a sheet. He headed back into the room, but not before tossing Greg a smoldering look over his shoulder, inwardly grinning at the heated look he was getting in return.

 

“Care to warm me up?”

 

“Anytime.”