Heartbreak Warfare

[mollysheldon.livejournal.com]

Title- Heartbreak Warfare
Pairings- See if you can figure it out before it says...
Rating- G?

Summary: Loosely based on the song Heartbreak Warfare by John Mayer.
It's sort of AU, no wives ever, after WL, set in the last few years, but I messed with things. Just go with it. =)

I do not own the characters, songs, lyrics, or artists, mentioned nor implied.



A flash of pale white lit up his face. Thunder rumbled in the distance, coming closer with each low growl. He walked a little faster at the drops of rain beginning to fall. Ducking inside, he was hit with the smell of alcohol and smoke; the music pulsed in his chest, matching the rhythm he walked. He scanned the tables, eyes adjusting the the low light. He finally saw who he was looking for at the bar, so he headed to a table in the back, holding his gaze for a fleeting second before hiding in the shadows.

"Hey" The greeting was barely heard over the upbeat song the now-live band was playing.
A nod was his reply.
"Want a beer?" 

A head shake. Their eyes met again.

~~~~~

"Is Brad going to be there? Oh, silly question I guess," he laughed into the phone. A quick glance over his shoulder told him his forced happiness had worked. He was being watched from the doorway.

"Tell him I'm looking forward to it." A wide smile. "Okay. I'll see you then." He leaned across the bed to place the phone back into its cradle.
"You ready?" He looked up and watched the hotel room door click softly shut.


~~~~~

"I told you, it's because you're always gone!" The strong words held no feeling. 



He snorted derisively. "And you're not?"



"Where do I go?! I don't have 50 chat shows and stand up and..." he realized it sounded like he was demeaning his own existence by comparing it to another's. That wasn't the case at all. He was proud of the life he'd made for himself. 



"Just ask for what you want," he said softer. "Let me know you still care, ya know?"

Greg got up and moved around to Jeff's side, sliding into the booth, his eyes never leaving the other man's. 

He put his mouth up to this ear, lips barely touching the skin as he spoke,

"When I am away from you, I can't put into words the pain I feel."

The hard exterior and the biting words, the sarcasm and the uncaring, they all vanished instantly. Greg slid his arm around Jeff's shoulders in a warm sideways embrace.

He continued, "I'm sorry I don't know how to tell you more often. Tell you how I feel. I feel so much for you." 



Jeff stayed silent, absorbing the closeness. He was afraid that if he spoke, the moment would be lost and it would go back to cold stares and empty words. Greg took his silence as an open invitation to continue, aware that an interruption could mean disaster for his loving thoughts. 
He let a smile come on its own as he reveled in the closeness; a puff of hot breath on Jeff's neck, right there, so close. But he knew that right now his words were more important than actions.


~~~~~

He grabbed his room key from the tv table and his jacket from the chair and sighed as he walked out the door to catch up with the retreating form. He rounded the corner in time to see the elevator doors close. Resigned, he leaned against the far wall and watched the numbers light up... in ascending order. Ascending? They were heading to the bar... which was down. With a shake of his head, he hit the button to call the elevator back. He watched the top number light up, then it began its descent. 



When the elevator doors opened, the night air enveloped him like warm arms. Stepping out, he could barely feel the last drops of rain falling. Thunder still rumbled in the not so distant clouds. 



The street lights below him were hazy and the sound of a car horn barely made its way up. He felt a presence beside him, but did not turn. 



"What kind of elevator goes all the way to the roof? Is that thunder? I..." he stopped himself from babbling on and shoved his hands into his pockets.
"We're only letting ourselves down," he said softly. 



Having forced himself to stand at the edge of the roof for as long as he could, Ryan turned and walked over to a makeshift bench a couple of steps away. Colin sighed and sat down on the low wall of the edge of the roof, his back leaning against the railing. He didn't mind the height; it made him feel alive. And that was more than he'd felt in a while.


Ryan spoke for the first time since Colin had joined him on the roof, "It's not like we're just beginning this relationship. But that's what it feels like. The hesitancy, the unsure... It leaves me wondering if I'm the only one who doesn't know something." 



Ryan was right. Colin couldn't deny anything he said. He didn't know what happened to him while touring with Brad, but upon coming back home it all felt different. He got up from his perch and walked the few steps over to Ryan, kneeling in front of him. 
"Ry, you're right. There is something you don't know. And you deserve to hear it."

~~~~~

"I don't like being away from you. But I'm afraid to admit it to anyone... especially myself, " Greg's soft words penetrated Jeff's heart, melting the coldness he had felt toward the other man. "C'mon man, I'm not any good at this." Greg had fallen hard and fast over the man next to him, in his arms.

"All you had to do was say something..." Jeff turned his head to look into Greg's eyes, which were partially hidden behind his purple tinted lenses.

"I'm a horrible mind reader." Jeff smiled.

With that, Greg's tension abated and he relaxed for the first time since he'd set eyes on Jeff earlier that night.



"I'll give you all I have. I just need to know you want it too. If I don't know then we're just setting ourselves up for a fall," Jeff reached his arm up and placed his hand behind Greg's head. "And for me, it's a long way down." 



Greg let the smile come easily to his lips. Jeff was the poet. And though Greg didn't always understand how or why Jeff worded his feelings like he did, this time the message was clear. Threading his finger's through Greg's hair, he pulled the other man in for a kiss. A kiss that would convey all he felt for Greg, all the love, the compassion, the adoration. Greg returned it with vigor. Not one for sentimentality or mushy feelings in general, when he looked at Jeff that's exactly what he felt. 



~~~~

Colin continued, "I think you're the only one who doesn't know just how much I love you."

The words barely registered within Ryan's breaking heart, but Colin was still talking, "Something did happen on tour... I realized how I hate being away from you, and just how in love with you I am."


Ryan lifted his head to look at his longtime friend. They had always been... close. But they had never defined it. Colin's brown eyes were looking straight into his green ones, as if trying to fix everything with one look. As far as Ryan cared, it was working.

He reached out and drew Colin into his arms. Colin returned the embrace fiercely.


"Why didn't you just call and tell me?" Ryan whispered, relief washing over him. "You can tell me anything. Especially that." Ryan sighed and pulled back, just enough to look into Colin's eyes. 



"I wasn't sure how you felt. After all this time, ya know? We hadn't really talked about it. About love..." Colin didn't take his eyes from Ryan's, as suddenly he wasn't afraid anymore. Seeing Ryan this time had made him realize their love was just as important to both of them.

~~~~

They broke the kiss slowly, neither wanting to break the spell they had cast. Jeff was beaming, glowing from the inside out; he finally felt that this was how it was supposed to be. Greg gazed at Jeff through eyes that held more love for this man than he would ever know how to express. But he was going to try.

"Let's get outta here," Greg breathed. "Go someplace more intimate."

Jeff nodded and they scooted out of the booth. Walking hand in hand, Greg led the way to the door.


~~~~
"The wind is picking up, " Colin noted as he pulled on his light jacket. "The storm must be getting closer again." He was still half in Ryan's arms and when a crack of thunder shook the building, Colin jumped a mile. Ryan chuckled and held him tighter. Colin grinned. Another boom and a flash of lighting. Ryan put two fingers underneath Colin's chin, lifting his face to look into his eyes. Both of their faces were lit with smiles, smiled that reached their eyes. Colin closed the small space between them, meeting Ryan's lips with his own. Ryan hummed his happiness and deepened the kiss, reveling in the feel and taste of Colin's mouth. When they parted, Ryan stood shakily, still on a high from their kiss. He brought Colin up with him. 



"Let's go someplace more... indoors, " Ryan said with a smile, noting the angry clouds above them. " D'Antonio's isn't far from here. You hungry?"

Colin intertwined their fingers as they made their way back to the elevator doors. "Not for food," he said. "I have a bottle of wine in the room. We can order in later." A ghost of a smile played at his lips. That was all it took for Ryan to push him back into the elevator, intent on reconnecting with the love of his life, starting immediately.

~~~~~

Almost at the door, Greg looked to his right at the small stage. He smiled as they continued walking, and he sang along softly with musician performing...

"I know the heart of life is good..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There it is, folks. I am open to comments, praise, and constructive criticism. I am a little rusty with my writing, so anything is appreciated!

The song at the end is Heart of Life by John Mayer.