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Chapter 12

The following morning, Ryan woke up slightly disorientated. The usual movement of the boat, bobbing along on the waves was missing, his body wasn’t sore from lying on a mattress that had quite clearly been designed by somebody with a loathing for beds and most importantly, he wasn’t in bed alone.

He was lying on his back, one arm wrapped protectively around Colin, who in turn, was lying half across his chest. The weight was pleasant rather than heavy and Colin’s light snore was comforting. He couldn’t believe what they’d done the previous night. Colin had been so… wild… so passionate… such a far cry from the mild mannered facade he normally showed to the world and he had intimated that he wouldn’t mind a role reversal. The thought alone was enough to get his heartbeat racing. He looked down at Colin again, happiness bubbling in his chest. He’d always known Colin was special…

He felt such a rush of love for the man, it scared him a little…What if Colin didn’t want this to continue when they got back? What if this really had been a case of cabin fever? What if…

“Morning…” A sleepy voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Morning yourself...” he said, as he scanned Colin’s face for any sign of discomfort or regret.

“I don’t regret it, you know…”

“How…”

“I’ve been awake for a little bit… your heartbeat went up and…well, something else went down, so I figured you were worried about something,”

“Yeah…”

“Unless, you are having second thoughts,” a hint of insecurity laced his voice.

“No! Not at all… I loved…” He hated how his voice hitched when he said that, “I loved what we did last night…” I love you He wanted to say but he reckoned it was too early to start gushing like a car salesman on commission.

“So… what is it then?” Colin had started stroking his chest, starting at his neck, working his way down in long, leisurely sweeping strokes but refraining from touching him where he really wanted to be touched.

“I… what’s going to happen when we get back?” So…how’s that subtlety working out for ya Stiles?

“What do you mean?”

“Well, last night you said you’d be thankful to be back in Santa Barbara again, so life could continue as it always had…” He felt Colin swallow.

“But Ry, that was before… before I finally got what I wanted… I…I want to keep this,” and as he said it, he waved his hand between them. “This…what we have, I want to keep it going but… if you don’t want to…”

“I do!”

“Hmm… you might want to remember those words for later…” Colin smiled, as he tilted his face up in a clear invitation for a kiss. Ryan hummed deep in his chest, taking him up on the offer as the softly stroking fingertips caressed the inside of his hip, still avoiding what he wanted them to touch.

“When does our plane leave?” Ryan asked, voice thick and whispery as Colin’s hand brushed his straining erection, going down to play with Ryan’s balls, already high and tight against his body. Ryan’s breath left him in a sigh, jumping a little at the gentle squeeze he received.

“Not ‘til later in the evening. It’s gonna be a red-eye,” Colin smiled, caressing the delicate skin behind Ryan’s sac, pinching it softly and pulling a curse from the tall man’s lips.

“Good,” Ryan growled, moving and pressing Colin on his back into the pillows, his sac still firmly in Colin’s hand, rumbling around their kisses his approval even as Colin’s other hand came into play, sliding a condom over him and pumping him slowly, lightly. It was maddening.

“It’s my turn…” Colin whispered around kisses as he himself was sheathed.

Ryan froze, remembering. “Yes it is…” he coughed a little. Colin frowned up at him, looking a little worried, but before he could speak, Ryan seized his lips, reaching a long arm to the nightstand and grabbing the lube before he turned Colin gently over. He licked and kissed and bit those broad shoulders he’d have loved to have himself but loved even more on Colin. The man beneath him arched up against him like a friendly cat, moaning his approval as Ryan pressed two slick fingers along the seam of his ass, massaging the entrance until it relaxed enough to take two fingers.

“It’s been so long since… since I last… did this…” Colin bit out, his face flushing, beads of sweat forming on his temples.

“Tell me about your last time…” Ryan whispered, and Colin made to protest but a firm bite on the back of his neck and the simultaneous action of Ryan’s fingers sinking in up to the webbing made his brain turn to sludge. His back arched into the fingers, feeling the massage turn slowly luxurious until they stopped all movement, making him whimper at the loss. “Tell me…” Ryan said again, breath hot on Colin’s ear.

Colin swallowed hard, trying to rewet his mouth against the sudden case of cottonmouth. “He… he was my first… few years ago… he oh god-” Colin groaned when the massage began again, Ryan’s long digits caressing his prostate and making his legs strain not to rock back brutally. “h-h-he wasn’t big on oh yes please there! B-b-big on preparation… but then he wasn’t ngghhh…” Colin ground out, giving up the fight and rising up on all fours, rocking back on Ryan’s hand as the tall man added a third finger. “Wasn’t that big… average oh god Ry just do it! Fuck me now!” He cried out as Ryan bit his back, gripping the pillows so hard he was surprised they didn’t have hole in them.

“Did he make you feel good?” Ryan asked, voice gravely and utterly sexy. “Did he fuck you like you need to be?”

Colin felt the bed shift, panting, his head hanging between his shoulders. “He tried… even tried to use a strap on so he could fuck me… Ryan please… please…”

“Let’s see how I measure up…” Ryan sounded mildly amused, but before Colin could question him, Ryan pressed inside, growling, fingers biting into Colin’s hips as he stopped, using his slick fingers to reach around and stroke Colin, making the older man give a whimpering cry until with a grunt that stole both of their breaths, Ryan sealed himself against Colin tightly, relishing in the tightness that made him see stars. “Feel… good?” Ryan asked, panting.

“Be even better… if you moved…” Colin grunted, fighting his body’s natural reaction to the invader. God it had been too long.

Ryan pulled out before sliding back in, brushing as much length as he could along Colin’s sweet spot, creating a rolling rhythm that began at the top of his spine to his hips only to begin all over again, making Colin writhe for him. Ryan changed tactics, going from gentle lovemaking, to nearly topping with each stroke and striking Colin’s sweet spot with deadly accuracy, making the man buck in his grip and howl.

Ryan noticed Colin reach and begin to tug himself as his own rhythm began to falter and batted the hand away, taking Colin’s gorgeous cock in hand and tugging tightly, groaning in ecstasy. Colin thrust into Ryan’s clenched fist, fucking himself silly on the taller man’s cock. “You’re… too good for him… anyway,” Ryan panted “Too good… beautiful…” His head fell back, and with a last shuddering thrust he spent himself deep inside Colin as the older man rocked back, milking him with his own body until a few short thrusts into Ryan’s fist, he followed with a keening wail. He thought he’d never stop, it was too good, with Ryan’s words ringing in his ears.

They collapsed in a sated heap, their breath ragged, and Colin pulled him close, sharing a kiss as long as they could before their need for air became overwhelming. When they could move, they stripped the condoms and tossed them into the basket by the bed with the others.

Ryan curled around Colin, his head pillowed on the furred chest, playing with the pattern and listening to the thundering heart. “We could stay here… I can get a job, and so could you… work some small time aquarium… I could be a janitor… maybe a mechanic…” he said breathlessly.

Colin said nothing. It was a pretty idea… but they couldn’t, because they both had more than just jobs back home. Sort of. He kissed the top of Ryan’s head, smiling as the soft curls tickled his lips, and just let the soft gold glow wrap around him.

They could have their illusion for a little while longer.


By the time they got back to Santa Barbara, the happy glow had been replaced by tiredness and anxiety… tiredness because their flight had been long and delayed and anxiety because they could no longer block out the reality of their lives. Ryan worried Colin might change his mind once they got back on home turf and Colin was pretty much thinking the same thing about Ryan. But, obviously, they were not going to talk about it. Not at all, not a word….

After having collected their bags, they silently made their way back to the car, both pre-occupied with their own thoughts. It was only when Colin was about to put the key in the ignition that he paused. He leaned back in the seat and looked at Ryan

“I’m not sure if you want to, and if you don’t, that’s fine but…do you want to come home with me?” He felt his face heat up…dammit, he should just be able to discuss this with Ryan without blushing like a 12 year old…

“Yeah… I’d like that, if that’s ok…”

And just like that, Colin’s day improved to no end.

When they got to Colin’s apartment, by unspoken agreement, they dropped their bags in the hallway and went straight into the bedroom, stripping off clothes as they went along. As he slipped under the cool sheets, Colin couldn’t help but sigh happily. The sigh turned into a down right purr when Ryan wrapped his arms around him and plastered himself against him.

It felt so good to have a body next to his, to hear the soft breathing of another person and to know that in the morning, it wouldn’t be just him and soggy cereal. He wondered how he ever got along without it. He pressed back into Ryan’s embrace, pleased when Ryan automatically tightened his hold on him and nuzzled his neck. He fell asleep to the soft and regular beat of Ryan’s heart and the distant humming of his fridge in the kitchen.

In the middle of the night, Colin wrenched himself awake from a nightmare that had involved an unarmed Ryan and a hungry shark. It took him a good few minutes to calm down again and get his breathing back to normal. It was then that he realized Ryan was no longer in bed with him, and by the feel of the bedding, hadn’t been for a while.

He padded into the living room to find the French doors leading to his balcony open and Ryan, hunched over the railing, smoking a cigarette.

“Hey…” He said softly, not wanting to startle him, “you alright?”

He saw Ryan’s shoulders tense and then release, “Yeah… sorry, did I wake you?”

“Nah, nightmare,”

Ryan turned, a concerned look on his face, “Bad one?”

He had wanted to deny it and just ignore the ball of irrational fear that was still in his stomach but one look at Ryan and he couldn’t. “Yeah…”

Ryan flicked his cigarette away and turned fully, opening his arms in a silent invitation which was all Colin needed. He wrapped his arms around Ryan, marveling in the solid-ness, the smell, the reality of him… A reality that was thankfully so different from his nightmare. A shudder went through him, which only encouraged Ryan to hold him closer.

“What are you doing out here? Couldn’t sleep?”

“Same thing… nightmare…”

“Oh…you wanna tell me about it?”

“No.”

“Oh…ok…”

“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that… just…you know… it’s alright...”

Coli shivered in the cool night air. “You ready to come back to bed?”

“Yeah…”