Promises - Part 2

[improvfan88.livejournal.com]

As requested by zanderisms, who asked that I continue this, so this is my attempt. And it is dedicted to you too! Let me know what you think peeps. I've made Ryan appear like schizo, but never mind! It's only when you start doing what the voices tell you that you're crazy. ''Really?' Yeah totally. Could I possibly honourably request a tag for this story please? :D

Author: improvfan88
Title: Promises
Pairing: Ry/Col - kinda one sided so far.
Rating: Um, PG-13 for naughty words?

Promises - Part 2

Well, here I am like he asked. He text me this morning asking me to meet at the same bar that we were all at last night. Same table, same seat even. But he's still not here. And I'm refusing to entertain the notion that he's stood me up. Well, not stood me up cos that sounds too much like a date.

'Isn't this a date?'

'No, it's not a date. He doesn't want that.'

'How do you know? Have you ever asked him?'

'No, but I just know. He doesn't see me anymore than a friend, however much I wish it was otherwise.'

Just then, my phone rings. My heart both soars and drops when I see it's from Colin. It could be mean two things. One - he's running late and he's going to apologise profously, or two - he's not coming. Either way, I'm not gonna find out until I answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi Ry, it's me."

"I know."

"How?"

"Caller ID."

"You know what caller ID is Ry?"

"I'm not that stupid Col, I know what it means when your picture appears on my phone."

'Even if you do have his picture as your background AND screensaver. Oh yeah, you got it bad.'

"Ah, I see. Well anyway, I'm really sorry, but I won't be able to make it."

"What? Why?"

"I had a job this morning and it was supposed to finish at four but some complete fucking idiot managed to set the film on fire so we've got to film the whole thing again. I was hoping to be finished bout an hour ago, but they've not even finished setting the camera up again."

"Oh."

"I'm really sorry Ry."

"But you promised." I feel so childish saying it, but it's true.

"What're you, five years old Ry? We'll meet up tomorrow."

"Unless you have another job?" Anger's beginning to creep into my voice, but I can't help it. I'm his fucking best friend! I know it's not his fault that the film's ruined, but I still feel the need to blame someone, and right now, he's causing me the most hurt.

"I don't Ry. Don't get angry at me, this is not my fault."

"I know it's not, but couldn't you have phoned me earlier? D'you know where I am right now Col?"

"No." His voice sounds so small. But it's too late. I've got a short fuse, and now, my temper's flaring. Wildly.

"I'm the fucking bar where we agreed to meet! I've been here for over half an hour now! Couldn't you have phoned when the film get set on fire? Couldn't you have phoned when you had some small inkling that you might not make it?"

"I only got a chance just now." He tries to explain, and God help me, I'd love to shut my mouth right about now, but all I can see is red and his face.

"Sure, whatever, Colin."

"Don't be like that Ry."

"Like what? Annoyed? Pissed off that I've been sitting on my own for ages waiting for my fucking best friend who can't keep a simple promise?"

"I really am sorry Ryan."

"Not as sorry as I am, Colin." And I hang up. Maybe I shouldn't have. We don't have arguments often, and we both feel horrendous after them. But right now, I feel he is to blame, and it's gonna stay the way until I decide otherwise. Shoving the phone back into my pocket, I down the rest of my beer - alcohol waits for no man you know - throw some money onto the table and walk out. I need to walk, I need to do something and calm down. Usually something like this wouldn't have bothered me. I understand what it's like. I've been in situations where I've had to stay late at a shoot, miss something important. But well, in all honesty, tonight felt like a date.

'Ah, love boy jumps on the wagon.'

'Shut up!'

'No. You've admitted it now. For you, it was a date. And he bailed on you. Again. He broked his promise. Again.'

'It's not his fault. I shouldn't have got angry at him.'

'No, no, Ry Guy. You had every right to get angry at him.'

'Don't call me Ry Guy. I hate it when Greg calls me that, I hate it when you call me that.'

'You hate a lot of things. Do you hate Colin?'

'I could never hate Colin.'

'Not even after this?'

'He just broke a promise, he didn't break my arm.'

'He's hurting you. How long are you gonna let him keep hurting you?'

'He doesn't know he's hurting me.'

'He did tonight Ry Guy. You made it clear. How long do you think it'll be before he breaks another one? How long before he hurts you again?'

'He doesn't know how much it hurts. He doesn't know why it hurts.'

'We both know the solution to that.'

'And we both know I'm not gonna do that.'

I light up a cigarette, tired of arguing with my subconscious. Oh yeah, I know what my subconscious is, and I know what it does. I read, you know. I may have dropped out of school, but I'm smart! You want an explanation? Fine. According to Freud-what? OK, so Freud was messed up, but I think he's right in this instance. According to him, your subconscious is the place where all your nasty thoughts go. You know, the ones about killing people, the really nasty shit that must never be acted on. Well, that's what your subconscious is. Mine likes to appear at the worst moments, wallowing in my misery and makes me feel even more depressed. Glancing at my watch, I see that it's only 9:30pm. What am I gonna do with the rest of my night? I spot a little off license at the corner. Perfect.

Five minutes later I'm walking out with a bottle of Jack in my jacket pocket. Jack and I can have a perfectly good night without Colin, I decide. Yip. I'll go back to the hotel room, get wasted, and hopefully pass out on the floor. Perfect way to end the night in my current mood. The walk only takes me around ten minutes, and I give myself a pat on the back for buying more cigarettes, seeing as I finish my pack on the way there. As I walk into the hotel, I spot Greg, Drew and Brad sitting at the hotel bar, obviously drunk. Unfortunately, Greg spots me.

"Hey Ry Guy! You coming for a couple?"

I slip my hand into my jacket pocket, making sure that the bottle is well hidden. "Nah, I'm tired. I'm just gonna go up and have an early night."

"Thought you were meeting Colin?"

"He couldn't make it."

"Aw shit." Drew slurs. He was always the lightweight. "That guy's so busy nowadays!"

"Yeah, I suppose." I shrug. I've decided that I'm not gonna care about Colin tonight. Tonight, it's just gonna me and my bottle of Jack Daniels. "I'll catch you guys tomorrow."

"Sure. Bye Ryan!" I wave them off, and head towards the elevator. Five floors later, I walk through to the balcony, stripping off my shoes and jacket, after carefully placing the bottle on the table outside. I also decide that until I can't see straight, I'll use a glass to pour the legal poison into my system. Show a bit of class at the very least.

'So this is what we're doing now? Drowning our sorrows alone?'

'Yeah. This is what I'm doing. You're pissing me off, so leave me alone for the night.'

'I don't leave Ry Guy. Ever. I'm always in your head.'

'I know. But I shut you off.'

'If you could, what you have let me say all that stuff about Colin?'

'Err....'

'Thought not. Enjoy your night Ry Guy.'

I'm even more pissed off now. In anger, I pick up the glass and fling it across the room, smashing it against the door. It doesn't even dent it, but I feel better now. I pick up the bottle and take a massive swig, loving the feeling of it burning my throat, loving the trail it leaves as it goes down to my stomach.

"This works." I declare aloud, toasting my own statement with another swig.

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Many, many, many swigs later, I'm struggling to remember what my own name is. I can't tell the time, and I'm sure that someone is knocking on my door, but I can't remember what a door is either. I hear something open and shut, and again, I'm not sure whether it is the door or my own eyelids.

"Ryan?" A familiar voice asks. I close my eyes and groan. I don't want to see him right now. I don't want him to see me like this, cos then he'll ask questions, and I'll have to answer, and then he probably won't like my answers, and then whole thing will just go 'boom!' I giggle, and make a 'boom' sound effect, which in turn, makes me giggle even harder.

"Oh, Jesus, Ryan. What have you done?" A figure crouches over me. For a second, I consider the fact that it could be my subconscious in human form. But when I recognise the chocolate brown eyes staring so deeply, full of concern, into my own, I know it's not. I was right before. It's Colin.

"Not done nothing." I slur, marvelling at the fact that I'm able to string words together. "It's you. You done it."

"What have I done Ry?"

"You broke your promise! You promised me, and you broke it!"

"We're not five years old Ryan. I can't keep every promise I make."

"You used to. You used to cancel everything you had on so we could spend some time together." I can't believe what's coming out my mouth now, but for some reason, I know I'm right.

"Why is this so important to you now?"

Ah shit. The million dollar question. Now I'm in a panic. Should I tell him? Should I explain to him that I've somehow fallen in love with him, that for me, my day only begins when he smiles at me? I could, and if I don't get the reaction I was hoping for, then I could blame it on the alcohol. But then, where would that leave us? I try my hardest to focus, to look into his soulful eyes.

"I just miss ya buddy!" Phew! I didn't say anything. My mouth is now separate from my brain, so right now, I'm just thankful I didn't say something stupid.

"Oh." Colin says. It may have been my drunkenness, but I could've sworn a look of disappointment flashed his face. But then again, I couldn't remember what a door was, so I'll put down to wishful thinking.

"Why? What did you want me to say?" Damn, damn, damn! Stupid, stupid, stupid! This is why I didn't want him around!

"Nothing. It's fine Ry. C'mon, let's get you to bed. You're gonna have a really bad hangover tomorrow. Why did you get this drunk?"

"I just couldn't stop." He lifts my arms around his shoulders and heaves me to my feet. I didn't even realise that I was lying down. He walks and I stagger to the king sized bed.

"Can you stand on your own?" He asks me. I nod once before discovering the nodding makes the room spin. Before I know what's happening, he starts undoing the buttons of my shirt. I'm too in shock to asks what he's doing. He pulls the shirt off my shoulders, and then starts working on my trousers, before tugging them down too. For some reason, I'm feeling strangely exposed.

"Come on then." He says, pulling back the covers off the bed. I fall in, and he pulls the covers up around me, before turning to leave.

"Wait!" I all but shout. "Where are you going?"

"Back to my room." He says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Can you........ can you stay with me tonight?" I ask, not looking him in the eye. For one friend to ask another friend to stay, it's normally easy. But now, asking him, I feel like his answer would end my world.

"Sure Ry, if you think you're gonna be that bad."

"Yeah."

He walks back over, kicking his shoes off, peeling his shirt off. I'm gobsmacked, and I'm sure that my mouth is hanging open and he takes the shirt off. He's obviously been working out, due to the muscles currently claiming most of his chest. If I wasn't so drunk, I was sure that I would've been pole vaulting for the nearest cold shower. He pulls his trousers down so he's just in boxers and climbs into bed next to me. We've done this so many times that it shouldn't be weird, but for some reason, I feel like this is something I could get used to. Minus the alcohol of course. I feel familiar stirrings beginning in my crotch so I turn onto my right side, leaving him to face my back.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really miss me?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry I broke my promise."

"S'all good. I forgive ya."

I feel a shift in pressure on the bed, before Colin spoons me, throwing his arm round to grab my hand.

"I miss you too, goof."

Almost subconsciously, I snuggle into his embrace. "This isn't weird is it?" He asks me.

"No. I like this." I tell him, desperately hoping that we'll fall asleep like this.

"Good." He gets comfortable, throwing his left leg over mine.

"Col?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you stay til morning?"

"Yeah. I promise."

We settle down to sleep, a massive grin on my face. I couldn't have imagine that a night of Jack could have ended any better. Well, we could be down something other than sleeping right now, but when that happens, I want to be sober. I want to show him what I can do to him. Show him that he'd be better with me than with any other woman.

'Oh Ry Guy. He made you another promise. Is he gonna keep this one?'

Small snores begin to fill the room. Colin must already be asleep.

'Yeah. He's gonna keep this one. Poor guy's been working all day, no wonder he's exhausted.'

'Aw, poor baby. When he wakes up in the morning and realises that he's made a mistake staying here, would are you gonna do?'

Colin sighs in his sleep and rolls over on his left side, curling himself into a ball. He always ends up sleeping like that, no matter what position he is when he goes to bed. I roll over too, and spoon him, the same way he was doing to me, throwing my arm and leg over him. Even in his sleep, he accepts my presence. That alone makes me forgive him for any argument we had earlier. The alcohol's beginning to clear from my mind. I pull him closer, tight to my chest.

'There. He can't leave without waking me up. He'll be here in the morning. He promised.'