She Can't Have You - Part 6

[improvfan88.livejournal.com]

Second last one, going to finish the last one tomorrow to complete my first ever fan fic thing! (There's prob a proper word for it but I can't think of it for the life of me.) Enjoy!

Title: She Can't Have You
Pairing: Ryan/Colin
Rating : R for language and smooches.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, I no longer have a cup of milk either, but I have more cigarettes and half a pizza from work.

She Can't Have You - Part 6

February, 1989

It was Valentine's Day as Ryan walked down the street towards Pat's favourite shop. Things had become rough between them, leaving Ryan feeling like he was living with a stranger. Walking along, he thought of maybe buying a present for Colin. It would be appropriate seeing as they couldn't keep their hands of each other whenever they were alone. Ryan cursed society and its stereotypes about homosexuals. Does it matter that two men can be in love, the same as a man and a woman? Apparently so. He was so consumed in thought that he didn't notice Colin walk by him, until Colin turned and shouted his name out.

"Ry! Ryan! RYAN!"

"Huh?" Ryan turned round to see his best friend standing watching him with a concerned look in his eye. "Col! How you doing?"

"I'm good, bit stressed, trying to think of a good Valentine's day gift for Deb."

"Yeah, me too, can't think of anything to get Pat."

They stood in silence for a few seconds before Ryan blurted out the very thing he was thinking minutes before.

"I was thinking of getting something for you."

Colin stood shocked. Ryan was maybe going to buy him something? "Er, thanks! You don't need to."

"Are we even a couple?"

"I think we're a couple within a quadruple."

Ryan smiled. Trust Colin to make a joke out of any situation.

"How are things anyway?" Colin asked, attempting to find out what was bothering Ryan so much that he wouldn't notice Colin. Usually Ryan wouldn't notice an Independence Day parade go past if Colin was with him.

"Bad. I don't know who she is anymore. I don't think she knows who I am either."

"Hmm..... philosophical. This calls for a dinner."

"A what?!"

"Tonight. You and Pat come round, and I'll cook."

"No thanks Col, I remember last time eating your cooking. Every orifice was spewing something out of it."

"Hey! I'm much better now! I've not been getting much work anyway so......"

"You've got Second City."

"Yeah, but it's not enough really. That's the only thing I've got. Anyway, it's given me loads of time on my hands so I've learned to cook! And I'm good!"

"Well, sounds good actually. I might be able to give you a Valentine's Day without spending any money." Ryan shuffled towards Colin, until their noses were touching.

"I look forward to it." Colin gasped, pulling the front of Ryan's jacket towards him, claiming his mouth with a kiss that convey the hidden passion and frustrations of each man.Their tongues clashed in something resembling Riverdance, but without the tap shoes or funky music, you get the idea. They broke apart, breathless, staring into each other's eyes, each looking for the answers of their situation. Answers that neither of them had.

"Tonight." Ryan whispered.

"7 o clock. Don't be late." Colin said back, adding a frown to it to appear serious.

        -------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan and Pat, in typical Ryan fashion, were late, but only by ten minutes. Ryan had dressed in his smartest outfit - a nice black shirt, topped off with a green tie to suit his eyes, black trousers, and his Nike trainers. Pat had complained that the trainers ruined his whole outfit. Ryan wore them anyway. His best friend had bought them.

Said best friend had just answered his door, putting on what Ryan recognised as a fake smile to greet Pat with a hug. Pat complied, but only for a second, before pushing him aside to greet Deb with obvious happiness.

"Women," Ryan grunted, "Who needs 'em?"

"We don't apparently. We have enough fun ourselves." Colin smirked as he said the last bit.

Dinner was good, the food delicious, Colin smirked to himself as he watched Ryan munch down his food, enjoying every mouthful. After he had finished, he looked up to see Colin staring at him.

"OK, OK, you're right, I was wrong."

"About what?" Deb asked.

"Col said that he had become a better cook. I told him that I didn't want a repeat of the last time he cooked."

"I don't think any of us do." Deb said, met with chuckles around the table.

"When did this happen?" Pat asked Ryan, who prayed that she wasn't going to start an argument tonight.

"Eh, yesterday when I was shopping for your present."

"You didn't mention it."

"I didn't think it was that important to you."

At the last words, Ryan caught Colin's eye, who hadn't missed the way Ryan had structured his sentence. It wasn't important to her, but it was important to him. The two exchanged a small smile, their own way of confirming that Colin knew what Ryan meant.

"Look what Colin got me!" Deb almost screamed, showing off her new necklace, which obviously cost more that a months rent of their tiny apartment.

"Oh, that's lovely! Look what Ryan got me." Pat replied, showing off her new earrings, sparkling in the candlelight that Colin had set.

"What did you get Colin?"

"A new shirt, doesn't he look gorgeous in it?"

Ryan smirked, as he leaned over to whisper something to Colin, who met his halfway across the table.

"It would look better on my floor." Ryan whispered, cracking off one of the oldest chat up lines ever.

Colin blushed in response, kicking Ryan slyly under the table. He would exact better punishment on him later if they got the chance.

"I got Ryan the tie, we couldn't afford much, but I think it brings out his eyes, don't you?"

Ryan responded to this by shutting his eyes tightly, and holding his new tie up in the air like a noose. Colin snickered, trying to hold in the burst of laughter attempting to escape.

"Ryan!" Pat scolded.

"What?"

"Behave."

"Yes, Mother Superior."

Pat shot him an angry look, one that let Ryan know that he was in serious trouble once they went home. She and Deb went back to their earlier conversation, discussing their new presents while Ryan and Colin sat staring at each other. What started out as a simple staring contest was now becoming dangerous, they had starting moving towards each other without realising it.

"You never know Pat, one day you actually might a ring to match those earrings."

That was enough to snap Ryan out of the staring. "W-what?"

"You know, an engagement ring."

Colin spat out the mouthful of red wine he had. "I need a cigarette. Ryan?"

"Yeah."

The two men excused themselves as politely as they could, before running out onto the fire escape of Colin's apartment.

"An engagement. A fucking engagement ring?! She treats me like a naughty schoolboy, and she expects me to marry her?!" Ryan fumed.

Colin tried to calm him. He knew, hell, everybody knew, that Ryan had a short fuse leading a massive temper, but this wasn't the time or the place for the anger to rear it's head. "She's just hinting, she's been doing it to me too. It's nothing Ry."

As these words, something snapped in Ryan. He turned to Colin, and took his face in his hands. "I can't do it anymore Col. I can't keep pretending that every time I'm in bed with her, it's fine, that I'm not imagining you next to me. I can't keep hiding that I think about you every minute of every day. I just can't fucking do it anymore!"

Col lifted his hands to cup Ryan's face, bringing his own forward until their foreheads rested against each other. "I know Ry, it's hard. I live for the few precious hours that we spend together, the few precious hours where we can be together and not care what anyone thinks."

"Then let's do it Col. Let's just screw it all and give us a chance."

Colin dropped Ryan's gaze, the first time he had done it all through their conversation. Ryan panicked, thinking that he had said something stupid, that maybe he had scared Col away. "Col?"

"I'm scared Ry. I don't know if I can do this."

"Me too. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know I can get by it if I'm with you. And I'm hoping you can get by it with me."

Colin remained staring at the ground. How he wanted to go with Ryan, he wanted just to leave with the man he loved, and not hurt anybody. But it wasn't as easy as that.

"She can't have you Col. I want you. I want to be yours. You have to be mine."

Colin lifted his head, and smiled. The kind of smile that lights up every fibre of Ryan's being, knowing that that smile is meant for him, that smile which makes love emit from Colin's chocolate brown eyes, that smile which made Ryan fall in love with him.

"Let's do it. Fuck it Ry, let's do it."

"Do what?" Came a cold voice. Ryan and Colin broke apart to find Pat and Deb standing watching them, Pat with her arms folding, clearly ready for what was coming. Deb, on the other hand, looked like she was ready to hear the world was going to end.

Taking Ryan's hand firmly in his own, he turned to face Deb. "I'm so sorry."

"I knew it." Deb said, struggling to keep her voice level.

"Deb, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say."

"Don't say anything!" She screamed, "Just get out!"

Colin did as he was told, he had hurt Deb. He wished he never had to, but to him, Ryan was worth anything. He would cut off his arms and legs if it meant Ryan was happy. He walked past Deb, heading for the door back into their living room, Ryan immediately behind him.

"You bastard." Pat said, as he walked past.

"What did you say?" Ryan said, standing in front of Colin, acting as a barrier.

"It's his fault, Ryan. If you hadn't met him, we would've been happy. Why don't you see that?"

Colin could see Ryan beginning to visibly shake from anger. Wanting to leave on the best terms possible, he stood in front of Ryan, ready to take whatever accusations Pat was ready to throw at him.

"Pat, I'm sorry. I can't help what I feel for Ryan, or what he feels for me. I really never wanting to hurt -"

"Bullshit," Pat spat at him, "You knew exactly what you were doing Colin."

"What about me?!" Ryan yelled at her, "Does it matter that I'm happy with him Pat? No, not to you, all that's mattered to you is money."

"That's not true!" She yelled back at him.

"It is! You've never once thought about I feel. I love Col, does that even matter to you?"

"Everybody just shut up!" Deb shouted. She had collected herself in the few minutes that Ryan, Colin and Pat had been arguing. "Pat, they're right. They're happy together. We're just the poor idiots who tried to take their hearts when they were already taken. Colin, please, just go. I know you're sorry, I know neither of you never meant to hurt us, but I can't see you right now."

"I understand." Col said, as he and Ryan turned to leave. Before they left, Ryan turned back to Pat.

"I'll come round tomorrow to pick up my stuff."

"What about the house?" Pat was beginning to panic now, even Deb could see it. Without Ryan, she would have to get a job again, something that she hadn't needed since Ryan got his place at Second City.

"That's your problem Pat, not mine."

Together, Ryan and Colin walked hand in hand out of the flat, ready to leave the past behind them, and start a new future together.

A year or so later, Ryan secured a place on a new show called 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?' which had recently made a successful transition from radio to television. Soon after, Colin auditioned, done a show without Ryan and wasn't asked back. Desperate to show how good Colin really was, Ryan managed to get him a second chance, on one condition. Ryan was on the show at the same time Colin was. Together, they created the comedy magic they were famed for on the Second City stage. It surprised nobody when they were given permanent seats. When Whose Line moved from the UK to America, Ryan and Colin gave some serious thought to coming out publicly. They had never really hid it, but the producers and censors had. It didn't really surprise anybody when they did, most fans accepting the fact with obvious joy (and, although some wouldn't admit, a small bit of sadness as their almost non-existent chance of being with either of them was shattered.) To Ryan and Colin, their life was perfect. They had each other, they were earning boatloads of money to fool around with each other and their friends on stage and finally, they could be public with how much they loved each other. Everybody who mattered to them had accepted and embraced their relationship, everything was perfect.