I'll Bite

[spectalcat.livejournal.com]

Jumping on the drabbletrain! (Same generator)


A Strained Occurrence

Greg paced up and down, jiggling his occipital lobe. His very good friend, Mary Sue Bunny, had arranged to meet him here up a tree. "I have something hyperbolic to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Bunny was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Greg expected to see her bounce up, her effervescent hair streaming behind her and her multifaceted eyes aglow.

Greg heard footsteps, but they seemed rather ingrained for a delicate and incognito girl like Mary Sue Bunny, whose tread was fluorescent. He turned around and found Brad staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Brad said breathily. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Greg had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so voraciously. "Mary Sue Bunny asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Brad, his clavicle began to throb pettishly.

"Oh," Brad said, peculiarly. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Greg said and caught Brad by his big toe. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Brad said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a metaphor.

From behind a MacBook Pro, Mary Sue Bunny watched with a furry light in her platitudinous eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Greg/Brad". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the ocelot from extinction.

I Saw Brad Kissing Santa Claus

Greg woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one incognito box that looked like a bunny.

Then Greg noticed that Brad was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Greg thought that he would surprise Brad. Maybe even sneak up behind him and punt him on his hyperbolic occipital lobe. That always made Brad fluorescent.

Greg crept voraciously down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its multifaceted lights, and the presents, heaped up ravagingly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Brad. Kissing someone.

Greg was so angry, he picked up a cello from a table and threw it peculiarly up a tree.

They both looked around.

"Brad, you platitudinous ocelot!" Greg yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Greg looked and then rubbed his clavicle and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Brad said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a furry kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Greg said breathily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be ingrained."

That seemed reasonable. Greg went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a metaphor. He made Greg's big toe feel all strained.

"You see?" Brad said pettishly and Greg saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

A MacBook Pro In Time

On an ingrained and platitudinous morning, Greg sat up a tree. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His occipital lobe ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Brad to love someone with a multifaceted clavicle?

Ravagingly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a hyperbolic incognito bunny, all on a summer's day. I wish my Brad would punt me, in his own strained way..."

"Do you?" Brad sat down beside Greg and put his hand on Greg's big toe. "I think that could be arranged."

Greg gasped pettishly. "But what about my multifaceted clavicle?"

"I like it," Brad said peculiarly. "I think it's furry."

They came together and their kiss was like a metaphor.

"I love you," Greg said breathily.

"I love you too," Brad replied and punted him.

They bought an ocelot, moved in together, and lived voraciously ever after.