FIC: All I Ever Wanted

[ally-pops.livejournal.com]

Hello again, I'm back with another chapter again. This one is more my style after the dreadful slash I inflicted on you the other day. But I'm still a bit 'anxious' because this fic isn't reading how I want it to read, if you understand me? I don't know. But be warned- I have got a little stroppy muse with me at the moment.
Title:All I Ever Wanted
Pairings:Ryan/Greg, background Ryan/Colin and a little Colin/Greg maybe?
Chapter:4
Rating:No slash, but bad language, so 15? I rate in British ratings, maybe the PP could pick me up on one of these chapters!
Beta: NONE! I know! Molly is away, and Kathleen is not available at the moment- so I am taking a risk. :P
Disclaimer: I dooo *not* own.
Another slightly shorter chapter.


Ryan’s eyes opened slowly. Sunshine was streaming in through the open window that had been forgotten last night. But surely that wasn’t what had woken him up- he usually slept through just about anything, especially with the amount of alcohol he still had left in his system.
A loud knocking echoed from the front door.
Now Ryan knew what had woken him up. He didn’t care about who was at the door, it was probably just a salesman who would come back another day. He rolled back over to go back to sleep.
“Colin? You there, man?” A nasally voice floated in through the door and into the bedroom.
Ryan’s eyes grew wide. He shook Colin off his chest and disgustedly wiped away a little puddle of wet that Colin had created. He sat up straight.
“Colin,” he hissed. “For fucks sake; wake up!”
Colin grunted and rolled over slowly. His eyes lit up as he saw Ryan’s naked form. “Ryan! Good morning!”
Another knock came from the door.
“Colin! Are you there?”
Colin sat up. “Shit. Greg!” He pulled on a pair of trousers and rushed towards the door.
Ryan stood trans-fixed, not sure what he was meant to be doing. As the door opened, he darted into Colin’s large wardrobe. The wardrobe was roomy, but Ryan’s gangly body still took up most of the space and he felt very claustrophobic. He pushed the door open slightly, just enough to allow some air to travel into the cramped wardrobe. Voices carried to him.
“Greg! What a surprise!” The strain in Colin’s voice was fairly obvious. How could Greg miss it? Ryan thought.
“Colin,” Greg’s voice sounded strained too. He didn’t seem to notice Colin’s anxious state. “I didn’t know where else to go- Ryan didn’t come home last night, I knew he was out with you, do you know where he went?” The words came out rushed and jumbled, as if Greg had been practising what he was going to say but his need to know had taken over. “Please, Col, where is he?”
Ryan couldn’t see Colin’s face but he could picture the mix of emotions that Colin was probably displaying. But then again, mused Ryan, Colin always was very good at hiding his emotions onstage.
“He checked into a hotel for the night,” stammered Colin finally. “He said he didn’t feel overly- comfortable?- at home with you, he said he just needed one night… away.”
Ryan heard a small gasp emit from Greg.
“I’ve been going out of my bloody mind, the BLOODY ARSEHOLE!” He started to chuckle in relief. “I’m going to kill him, Col, when I get my hands on him, the bloody bugger…” His relief was evident even to Ryan.
“He said he’ll be home in the morning,” added Colin. “He was just VERY drunk, Greg. You know how he gets. He didn’t mean it. He probably regrets it now.” Ryan heard a murmur from Greg and laughter from Colin. Were they laughing about him?
“It was probably just as well,” Greg sighed. “If he had come home pissed whilst I was annoyed, there would have been world war three.”
Colin laughed.
“Col, can I tell you something?” Greg’s voice was more serious now.
There was silence. Ryan assumed Colin had replied with a mute nod.
“I hate Ryan- he’s a stupid prick who runs away when things get too hard. In college, he got so confused that he dropped out, ran away. Then I didn’t see him until the other day. But when I did see him- I don’t know. I thought I was in love with my wife, Jen, the feeling where your heart starts fluttering and they consume all your thoughts- but I’m not. Jen is a beautiful girl, and I love her- but I love Ryan more.” Greg paused. “Stupid dick that he is,” he added as an afterthought.
Silence continued. Evidently Colin was speechless.
The quiet stretched out and Ryan longed to see what was happening. A hug? A whispered conversation? Maybe Colin was revealing where Ryan really was right now…
“Well, Greg, I’m just going to get some clothes on, you woke me up!” Colin’s voice was loud and suggesting now. “I’m going to go to the bedroom. Will you make some coffee, please? The stuff’s in the kitchen.” Footsteps sounded as Greg scurried to the kitchen and Colin ran towards the bedroom.
The wardrobe door opened wide, revealing Ryan, still naked, standing there with a sheepish grin on his face.
“Get out!” Colin whispered.
“Where?”
“Get out of the apartment! Go home!”
“Naked?!”
“Well get some fucking clothes on then!”
“Greg will hear me.”
“I don’t give a damn. You need to go.”
A new voice joined the conversation from the kitchen. “Colin? Do you want milk?”
“Uh- yeah, yes please, Greg. I’ll be out- in a minute,” Colin stuttered.
“Are you ok?” Greg’s light footsteps padded out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom. Ryan pulled the wardrobe door shut just as Greg entered the bedroom.
“Are you ok then?” Greg sounded slightly concerned. “You sounded all- anxious.”
Colin’s eyes darted to the wardrobe and then to the front door. A plan formulated in his mind. Finally, his improvising skills would help him immensely. He just hoped Ryan had some common sense.
“Greg,” he started to sob. He pulled Greg into a tight embrace and started spouting a sad story about his wife, Deb. Greg looked rather bewildered and hugged Colin back, patting his shoulder as he tried to console him. Ryan could have almost laughed. He pulled on some of Colin’s trousers- they looked like shorts on him!- and sneaked out of the wardrobe. He didn’t bother about finding a top. He snuck around the two embracing men, nearly out of the door when he spied his clothes discarded on the bed. “Shit!” he whispered. Colin sobbed loudly.
Ryan lay on the floor and started to crawl towards the bed. Colin, thinking that Ryan had had plenty of time to get out of the bedroom, pulled away from the hug.
“I’m so sorry,” he hiccupped, wiping his eyes. “I don’t know what came over me.”
Ryan froze on the floor.
“That’s ok, man,” Greg said lightly. Colin’s eyes swivelled over Greg’s shoulder and spotted Ryan, frozen to the spot looking like a deer in headlights.
“Shit,” he hissed.
“What?” Greg asked.
“Uh- shit! I feel like shit!” He pulled Greg back into a hug. Greg relaxed and embraced Colin back. Over Greg’s shoulder, Colin mouthed ‘what the fuck are you doing?’
Ryan pointed at his clothes. Colin shook his head slightly and jerked his thumb towards the door.
“Colin? What are you doing?” Greg started to turn around, away from Colin and towards the spot where Ryan lay silently. Colin spun him back forcibly and did the only thing he could do- he kissed him.
Ryan started wide-eyed. The two men he had feelings for were sharing a kiss and he wasn’t included- hate coursed through his body suddenly, but towards whom, he had no idea. All he knew was that Greg was his, why was Colin touching him? And Colin was meant to be there for him-
Colin continued to kiss Greg but his eyes were open. They went back and fore between Ryan and the door, suggesting as much as they could.
Ryan dragged himself to the bed. He picked up his clothes and sprinted towards the front door quietly- not that there was much point in being silent, Greg was more than preoccupied.
He reached the front door, opened it quietly and rushed outside. He pulled the door closed.
*
Colin broke the kiss.
Greg removed his glasses, gave them a wipe and put them back on.
“Sorry, Col, I didn’t know you felt like that…” Greg shrugged awkwardly. “I need to go. I need to find Ryan. I’m sorry.” He turned on his heel and marched out of Colin’s apartment.
Colin sunk down slowly and sat on the floor.
In trying to fix Ryan’s friendship with Greg he had probably just completely ruined his own.
The things he did for the people he loved.
*
Greg hurried down the stairs, taking them two at a time. He was confused, very confused- but he wasn’t going to run away from it like Ryan would. No. He was stronger than that. He was going to find Ryan, kill him for being a dick, then reveal his true feelings and hope that it would end well. He also needed to find Colin and put him straight- but he suspected that the kiss they shared was just a comfort kiss. If Colin loved anyone, it was obviously Ryan. Kissing Greg was just a way to release his tensions. Colin was a great friend. He had proved that after Greg’s embarrassing outburst about loving Ryan.
*
Ryan sat at home on his sofa. Shit, shit shit shit shit. Things had been extremely close today. He owed Colin so much.
He still couldn’t get over the fact that he and Colin had slept together- but strangely, it felt ok. It felt pretty natural. Colin was his best friend.
And Greg! That outburst from him was not expected but was very much welcomed. Now Ryan knew that his feelings were mutual, there was nothing stopping him- apart from fear. But he was sure that Greg would make the first move.
Looking back on his escape, it seemed almost comical. He breathed a sigh of relief and started to laugh.
And once he started laughing, he often couldn’t stop.