Angsty fic.

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My first Greg/Drew angst fic. Very sad, be warned. Review please.

Details inside. 

Hallelujah

 

Drew/Greg

 

Rated R for Language and General Angst

 

SUMMARY:

 

Greg regrets what might have been.

 

NOTE:

 

Songfic, the song is “Hallelujah” by Rufus Wainwright. I don’t own, don’t sue.

 

 

“Oh. Oh, fuck you Drew. Fuck you. FUCK YOU!” Greg screamed at nothing in particular while standing on the building’s roof. His shaking hands were slowly tearing apart the cigarette he tried to smoke to relax.

 

He kept ranting, pacing the roof yet keeping his distance from the edge. “Why didn’t you talk to me? I could’ve helped you…”

 

The image was burned into his mind: Drew on the bathroom floor, a bottle of pills in each hand.

 

“Damnit, Drew, I had no IDEA you were on antidepressants!” Greg’s knees nearly buckled as he yelled. “Why couldn’t you talk to me…”

 

“I heard there was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord…

You don’t really care for music do you?

Well it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift,

The baffled king composing hallelujah…

 

Hallelujah…hallelujah…hallelujah…hallelujah…”

 

Greg was startled by the lulling voice; he forgot he had brought a radio up here. He wanted to scream but the words would not come. The song was full of bitter memories.

 

“Your faith was strong, but you needed proof, you saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you…

She tied you to her kitchen chair, she broke your throne and cut your hair,

And from your lips she drew that Hallelujah…

 

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…”

 

He gripped at his heart as he remembered how after a fight Drew cheated on him with some blonde. But instead of going home for sex, she had her boyfriend beat him and rob him. Greg nursed his wounds and took him back; Drew was never quite the same though.

 

“Maybe I’ve been here before, I know this room, I have walked this floor, I used to live alone before I knew you…

I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch, love is not a victory march, it’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah…

 

Hallelujah…hallelujah…hallelujah…hallelujah…”

 

Greg reached into his pocket and pulled out a key. The key to the home he shared with Drew. He wondered how empty it would feel now…

 

“There was a time you let me know, what’s really going on below, but now you never show it to me do you?

Remember when I moved in you, the holy dark was moving too, and every breath we drew was Hallelujah…

 

Hallelujah…hallelujah…hallelujah…hallelujah…”

 

The tears finally spilled over. Greg drew his knees to his chest and rocked back and forth, quietly sobbing. He remembered the times when Drew let him top, the times when he breathed his name, the times when…he said he loved him…

 

“Maybe there’s a God above, but all I ever learned from love, was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you…

And it’s not a cry that you hear at night, it’s not someone who’s seen the light,

It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah…

 

Hallelujah…hallelujah…hallelujah…hallelujah…”

 

The song ended and Greg let out a fresh sob, rising shakily to his knees. “Drew…I loved you…I could’ve saved you…I loved you! Damn you!”

 

“I know you did.”

 

Greg turned startled to a red-eyed Ryan. “I know you did, Greg.” Greg shook his head. “I’m gonna miss him.”

 

“We all are, Greg.” Ryan placed an arm around him and led him off the roof.

 

“Love isn’t a victory march…” Greg thought bitterly.

 

It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah.