Hazard - Chapter 24

[fbrobey.livejournal.com]

 As promised, here is the next chapter. Sorry it's a bit later than I expected, typing up is a tedious task.

Title: Hazard
Author: Fbrobey
Chapter: 24/28
Rating: PG
Character(s): Clive, Greg, Ryan
Summary: Based on the song Hazard by Richard Marx

Greg was innocent. That’s what Clive had told him that morning, filling Ryan in with the reason why he was currently back to occupying a prison cell.
“But Clive… I didn‘t… I‘d never hurt Col…” he had spluttered desperately to the calming Brit.
“I know Ryan, I don‘t know what kind of bastard would kill a guy like Colin, but you‘re not him. Unfortunately, unless we can prove it fast there‘s a chance you could be implicated,” Ryan’s heart stopped dead, his eyes widened with fear.
“No… Clive, you have to help me!” He begged desperately, realising exactly how his release must have made Greg feel. It was the most helpless, lonely and frightening prospect in the world.

Luckily, Hickson and Clive had kept Greg and Ryan’s connection with Colin’s murder largely out of the media, though some had started to connect their disappearance with the same thing. Their producer Dan Patterson was luckily one step ahead, ending the series early and creating two compilation episodes, buying them a month of time. Ryan had been put straight to work as soon as he got out the first time.

As Clive said his goodbyes, Ryan didn’t even notice he had a second visitor waiting to talk to him.
“Hey Ry…” the nasally voice spoke softly, announcing his presence to Ryan who sat up immediately.
“Greg?” he gasped, barely able to believe it. After everything he’d said, after their fight, here he was, offering Ryan his support, a kindness he had not even considered offering Greg. His stomach burned with guilt, his heart sunk like lead. Everything he’d done to the man blinking kindly at him came bubbling into his consciousness like severe acid reflux, blistering his insides with torment, blame and responsibility.

“Can I sit down?” Greg asked, indicating the floor outside the cell door. Ryan nodded, watching Greg’s skinny figure sit down cross-legged, back against the wall, fixating his intelligent, strong gaze on Ryan’s guilt-filled face. He x-rayed him with his eyes, noting his fidgeting, the wringing of his hands as though Ryan thought they were made of sponge, dribbling his poisonous conscience out of his body so he no longer had to deal with it.
“Come to sneer Mr Cynical?” Ryan snapped, angry with Greg for making him face up to this.

Greg simply shook his head.
“No,” he replied “I haven’t.”
“Then why are you…?” Ryan stopped in his tracks. Why was Greg smiling? After all he had been through, how did he have a smile left for one of his tormenters?
“Believe me Ryan, the small measure of things you did were put into severe perspective,” Greg explained, mouth still curved into a comfortable beam, sincerity in every syllable he spoke.
“What do you mean?” Ryan asked, confused by Greg’s words, seating himself opposite him, within reach of each other. “I lied to you, I cheated with Col, I made you think it was your fault and I abused you more than once. I used you, humiliated you, then on top of all that, labelled you a murderer before I‘d even heard your side…”

Ryan found his eyes prickling with fury towards himself, a lump in his throat that felt like a thick ball of medicine, sticky and suspended in his gulping oesophagus.
“I know,” Greg replied simply, passing his clean handkerchief through the bars, a blue one with white spots. “As I said, there are worse things that have happened to me, I think it‘s time I told you all about my Mom and Dad, then maybe you‘ll understand what I mean…” He said slowly, with a nod of affirmation from Ryan, confirming he had his attention.

It took just under an hour for both men to reveal a lifetime of hardships to each other, breaking down the third wall that kept their past blocked and blotted over, their stories tumbling from their mouths like crumbling bricks and mortar being demolished by a sledgehammer. They found strength and understanding in each other’s tragedies, a strong bond of friendship reformed, platonic and deep.

No apologies needed to be said, they’d said sorry before and that had led to more mistakes from both sides, like their last alliance. Flimsy as a house of cards as soon as there was a strong enough breeze to blow it over.

“Greg…” Ryan had blocked him in the corridor on the way to his dressing room.
“There’s no more left to say Ryan. Let me guess, you’re sorry right? Colin was a mistake, it’s me you love. Well save your breath. I’m better off without you,” Greg snarled sarcastically, eyeing Ryan with a look bordering hatred.
“Fine you bastard, I won‘t apologise,” the other snapped, still barricading Greg’s escape. The conversation was far from over.

“I never loved you Greg you stupid fuck,” Ryan reminded him coldly. “Colin wasn’t a mistake, though I am sorry and that’s all that I can say, take it or leave it.” He growled grumpily, folding his arms protectively over his chest, hoping his casual manner disguised the vulnerability he was feeling. Greg bit his lip, Ryan’s honesty scalded his skin, making him feel uncomfortable to even be standing there. He wanted to just walk away.

“You hurt me Ry…” Greg began, mind ticking and racing. He wanted to let Ryan know exactly how he was feeling, but he lost his nerve, he didn’t like conflict so digressed as always. “But what more can you say I guess…” he sighed, as he rubbed his temples, fingers ran through his curls, tugging lightly at the mass.
“Good… so…”
“Yeah…” Greg held out his hand, took hold of Ryan’s much larger one and shook it. “A fresh start?” Ryan nodded warily, unsure what to make of Greg’s quick acceptance.

That had been three days before Greg had come knocking at Ryan’s door, shaking and pale, the ghost of Colin’s corpse haunting his mind regardless of whether his eyes were open or not. Three days before detective Hickson had knocked on the door, throwing down Colin’s picture for identification and arrested the two men on the spot.

The clank of the chains on their wrists had broken the newly formed ropes of friendship between them, frayed their trust for each other until their grief had twisted their minds and made them believe the other one was deceptive and capable of murdering their best friend. In Ryan’s eyes Greg’s acceptance of the apology was merely a ruse to cover up his plotting mind. If he couldn’t hurt Ryan directly, he’d do it through something, the one person Ryan truly loved.

In Greg’s eyes, Ryan had the temperament. He thought that Ryan had loved him, yet he had still been able to abuse him, make him feel guilty for being innocent. Perhaps the worst trick of all was his using of Greg, planting a falsehood of love and affection that didn’t exist between the two. Ryan had the capability to twist people’s emotions and the capacity to hurt those that loved him. As the months unfolded, it became clear to Greg that the raw truth of it was that Ryan had been in love with Colin and didn’t have the ability to hurt someone he loved. In Greg’s mind, Ryan was innocent of murder.

Their new reconciliation had been cemented with a fresh handshake. It was a mutual movement, meaning as much to both of them. They had put their past behind them at last, so that all that remained was a joint wave of aggression to whoever it was who had murdered Colin and was happy to let Ryan take the blame for a crime both of them knew he hadn‘t committed.
“Greg, please… ask around, see if anyone can vouch for me returning home before Colin‘s murder. Someone must have seen me,” Ryan begged desperately. Greg nodded.
“I promise Ryan, I‘ll try and help any way I can,” he replied in his soothing voice.

Somehow Ryan felt comforted, he saw a warmth in the deep eyes, an intelligence he no longer feared, but trusted unconditionally. He finally trusted someone other than himself. Others in the world had suffered and had the strength to move on. He knew he would be alright with Greg by his side. That much was certain for now.