wl_fanfiction | Affliction, Part 4/13

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Title: Affliction, Part 4/13
Author: illyriaone (Thesseli)
Pairing: Colin/Ryan
Rating: R
Summary: I once swore I would never write a vampire story...
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
Type of Feedback Desired: Any.

Part Four

After fishing out a container from his carryon bag and warming it a pot of boiling water, Colin joined Ryan at the table. Ryan himself was having a sandwich, chips, and a Pepsi. Colin also helped himself to a soda, but nothing solid. He couldn’t. He’d tried early on, but his stomach had rebelled…violently. At least Ryan didn’t seem to mind seeing him eat. In fact, he looked a little over-interested.

After watching Colin swallow the first few mouthfuls, Ryan gestured at the packet. “What is that?”

Colin was confused. “You know what it is.”

“No, I mean…is it human?”

“Oh. No, it isn’t. This is from a butcher shop…it’s cow.”

Ryan regarded him evenly. “But human tastes better, doesn’t it.” It wasn’t a question.

Colin didn’t know quite how to respond. “How did you know that?” he asked neutrally.

“The expression on your face when you were talking about where you could get blood. You didn’t seem too enthused over the prospect of something that wasn’t from a hospital.”

Colin looked away. He ended up facing a window, and the light made his eyes sting. He turned back, blinking the burning sensation away.

“I’m sorry, Col -- I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Ryan said ruefully.

He shook his head. “You didn’t. I guess I’m just being over-sensitive…I know what goes through my mind when I think about what I am now, and I assume that everyone else is thinking the same thing.” He rubbed his eyes, drawing his hands down his face. “God, Ryan, what am I going to do?”

“I know it’s hard, Col, but you’ve got to get your mind off it. Think about other things, and keep working. Nobody can stop you from doing that -- it’s illegal both here and in Canada to discriminate against people with what you've got, because it’s a medical condition. Keep doing the show…and all those other ones you’ve got up in the Great White North, too.”

“Some of us just can’t be satisfied with only two TV shows,” Colin teased gently. How did Ryan always know how to make him feel better? “And how do you know so much about the legal aspects of this? You don’t know anyone else with the disease, do you?”

“Nope,” he replied smugly. “But I’ve been doing a little research. I probably know more about it than you did, in the beginning.”

“You’re probably right,” he confessed. “Most of us don’t know anything until we actually get it. Jeez, one of the things the CDC people had to do was show us how to draw blood from a living donor. In such a way that they're guaranteed to remain living, I mean.”

“I would’ve thought it would come naturally, once you’ve become a vampire.”

Colin nearly winced at the sound of the actual word, the blatant declaration of what he now was. He didn’t, though, and regained his composure quickly. “No,” he said. He thought back to that day, and what he’d been taught. The CDC people had said it was best if they learned with someone whose strength was equal to theirs, so they wouldn’t accidentally hurt anyone in the eagerness of their first feeding. It wasn’t their first taste of blood, though. The coffee and soft drinks provided to them at the beginning had all been spiked with it. This provided them with some nourishment, as well as getting everyone slightly more comfortable with the idea of actually drinking it. It wasn’t until a bit later in the day that they were told. There was considerable surprise at that, as well as consternation. One young woman had started to cry when she found out, and was quickly comforted by the rest. They all felt equally lost. But as the day went on and they became more acclimated – enough to drink the real stuff, not mixed with anything else – they were told how important it was to learn the proper technique for drawing blood from another human being, because hurting the person who was sharing this with you was not going to be an option. Colin had been picked for the demonstration, ostensibly because he was on TV and he was used to performing in front of an audience. Through most of that day he’d been feeling that strange sort of aggressiveness the CDC people had talked about, and power, which had bled over into an almost sexual sensation that he didn’t quite understand. The CDC facilitator, a woman who also had the disease, had called him up to the front so they could demonstrate the procedure. Still uncharacteristically assertive, he’d practically sauntered up, and listened as she spoke more about the proper technique for drawing the blood. Then she’d complimented him on his teeth. That brought him back down to earth fast…he still hadn’t wanted to see what they looked like, but at the woman’s words he ran his tongue over them, truly feeling them for the first time. A shiver ran down his spine at that, and he realized now how truly different he'd become.

The woman warned them again about the emotional intensity of the act, and told all of them that a willing, continuous donor would most likely need to be their romantic partner. That was another reason so much time was spent teaching them how to do this. Then she surprised the hell out of Colin by kissing him soundly.

It was shockingly explicit, something Colin would never have agreed to do in front of a group of people if he’d known what it would entail. He wasn’t sure what to do as the woman continued, the kissing becoming hard and almost painful because of her teeth, but he could feel his excitement growing. He’d kissed back then, being nearly as rough as she had. She complimented him again, and encouraged him to use the skills he’d been learning that day.

Colin, shocked, found his mouth moving eagerly to the side of her neck. Almost without realizing it, he bit down.

It was incredible. The sexual intensity, the aggressiveness and the sense of power were all amplified by the first feeding, even though -- because she was one of them, not a normal human -- the extreme possessiveness would not be triggered. And now, days later, these feelings had become almost natural to him. This was his problem. If it had *only* been the need for blood, that would have been almost manageable -- everyone had to eat, in one way or another. But the feelings that went along with it were too much. He was so afraid of losing control of himself, even though they’d assured all of them that this was unlikely, so long as they didn’t allow themselves to go without eating for more than a few days. Maybe it was a good thing that Deb didn’t want to see him right now. He was afraid of what he might do if he actually had someone he could drink from more than just once or twice. That would undoubtedly lead to the territoriality, the marking of the donor as his, and his alone. He doubted that she would care for the extreme possessiveness it would engender in him.

As Colin heard himself telling this to his friend, he was surprised at how easily Ryan had brought all this out of him. He hadn’t wanted to talk about this part of it before, but now he found himself speaking about it, and his own fear, and his loneliness. He confessed that even in the hustle and bustle of L.A., he had never felt so completely alone as he did now.

After he’d finished, Ryan rose from his chair and came over to him. He knelt down beside him, so that he was looking up into Colin’s eyes. “Don’t you remember what I said before, Col?” he asked softly. “That you were never alone? That I would always be here for you?” He caught Colin’s gaze and held it, unwavering. “Drink from me. So that you’ll never be alone again.”