A Strange Escape 1/14
Jun. 2nd, 2010 03:03 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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wl_fanfictionTitle – A Strange Escape.
Chapter – 1/14
Author – Charminglygawky
Pairing - Ryan/Colin – eventually!
Rating – for the most part about a 15 for swearing. That may change.
Disclaimer – I own nothing but a very disturbed mind.
Feedback – Pretty please!
Right, this needs a bit of an explanation. This is totally au and starts out quite cracky. Colin’s family didn’t move to Canada, instead they came into a lot of money and moved down to London. Colin is therefore English, and rich. Don’t ask I have no idea!
Whose Line was never even thought of and improv in general is not widely known about, it is set sometime pre mobile phones being common but post Buddy Holly. They are the only constricting factors I think!
A/N – Colin is dissatisfied with life, does Greg hold the key?
“Excuse me, sorry to butt in but did you just say flower or phallus?”
I looked round in only mild surprise to see a Buddy Holly-esque man nattily dressed smiling at me politely. “Does it matter?”
“No, not in the least but I am incurably nosey and that was far too good an opportunity to miss.”
He was still smiling at me in an altogether far too enigmatic manner, but I was willing to play him at his own game, he was after all the first interesting person I’d ever met at one of Alice’s God awful do’s. The person with whom I had been conversing about his prize roses had thankfully drifted off into the background once it became apparent that I found this newcomer far more engaging. I grinned back deciding that he was someone I wanted to know better, I stuck my hand out.
“Colin, Colin Mochrie.”
“Greg, Gregory Proops.”
Greg’s handshake was firm and brief, but he seemed satisfied with his new acquaintance.
“So, who are you?”
I blinked at him,
“I beg your pardon, surely we just...”
“No, you only told me your name; that’s just the tag, not you.”
“Oh,” I suppose that that actually made a great deal of sense “Well I do freelance work for a publisher in the...”
“No, I didn’t ask what you did, I despise those clichéd questions ‘what do you do?’ or even worse ‘what do you drive’ what’s the fucking point.”
I paused briefly to try to sort out this strange man before giving up and just opening my mouth and trying to answer. “When I was a kid my parents would send me to a farm in the holidays, I would spend the whole time pretending to play in the orchard. I could climb into my room from this apple tree, I would spend probably less than an hour out of doors each day.”
“There we go, see I think I learnt more about you there then I could from an hour’s conversation about some publishing job.”
“Maybe that’s the point.” It was his turn to look at me in confusion now “That’s why we ask each other those set questions, it’s like a protective thing.”
“I despise aloofness.”
“But you need it.”
“I’m sorry?”
“You say you want to be open and that you hate aloofness, yet I know nothing about you, except for the fact that you are not shy about asking questions.”
He paused for a moment looking me up and down, appraising me somehow. The he burst out laughing and threw an arm around my shoulders whilst drawing me towards the door
“You know what Colin? I think I might actually like you.”
I laughed with him and let him lead me; I didn’t want to be at the stupid party anyway.
We wandered out of the party smiling sweetly and nodding slightly as the doorman handed us our coats. Poor old James looked at me like I’d gone insane or something, I was practically the host, I couldn’t leave Alice’s insipid party this early!
London was eerily quiet for half nine in the evening as we wandered towards St James’ Park, Greg had linked arms with me companionably and we walked in silence.
“So what were you doing at that awful squeeze anyway?”
Well almost silence, I didn’t argue despite the fact that I knew that Alice would be hideously upset if she ever heard her natty party described as a squeeze.
“I’m meant to be marrying the hostess.” I responded tonelessly.
He quirked an eyebrow at me “Really? I didn’t get that vibe from you.”
“What vibe?”
“Oh you know, the happily engaged and in love vibe.”
“That’s probably because I’m not.”
“Not what?”
“Any of it.”
“Fair enough.” There was a pause and I hoped that we had dropped back into our comfortable silence. But it was not to be “Do you mean that you’re not happily engaged or that you’re not engaged at all?”
“I’m not engaged but I am expected to pop the question at some point.”
“Do you want too?”
“Not particularly.”
“Will you?”
“Probably.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, just always thought I would, it’s expected of me.”
“By whom?”
“Her family, her, my family too.”
“Does that still happen?”
“Apparently.”
“But, let me get this straight, your family thinks you should marry into another family and so you will?”
“It seems probable.”
“And you don’t mind?”
“I haven’t really thought about it.”
“But, you don’t not mind, I mean have you thought about any of this? Perhaps subconsciously...”
I interrupted him “Yes, well, me and my subconscious are not on speaking terms at the moment. So you can take your Freudian crap and leave us alone!”
“Us?”
“Strictly speaking I am sure that my subconscious would love to talk Freud. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately I am in charge here. And I don’t.”
“Does that even make sense to you?”
It didn’t so I thought I’d better change the focus of the conversation over to him. “Are you psychoanalysing me?”
“Only a little.”
“Stop it.”
“Ok, so where are we going then Colin?
“But you are the one who brought me here!”
“Would you have preferred to have stayed there?”
“No, but I’m not looking forward to facing Alice tomorrow.”
“Why do you have to?”
“We’re having lunch.”
“By choice?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“I have a car.” I offered as the silence didn’t seem quite so friendly anymore.
“So do I, where’s yours?”
“Back at the party.”
“Let’s go then, yours is closer.... What do you drive?”
“Shut up.” I snorted
We performed a smart about face and ambled back towards Alice’s parent’s house. Thankfully we seemed to have fallen back into the companionable silence again.
“Home James!”
He leant back in the car seat and cocked his hat over his face.
“Greg.”
“Yes Colin.”
“I don’t know where you live.”
“No, you don’t. Well I guess you’ll just have to improvise then won’t you.”
“Improvise what?”
“Just take me back to your place.”
“Greg, are you propositioning me?”
“Why Colin! Do you want me to?” He hadn’t moved but I could see that he was looking sideways at me from under that hat.
“Not in the least Gregory, but I like to know where I stand before I take people back to my flat.”
I could see his shoulders shake but he refused to laugh.
“You have a flat?”
“I have a flat.” I affirmed.
“Well I have a house, so we’ll go to mine.”
“Too late, we’re going to mine, so you can just slum it at the flat.”
“But...”
“You shouldn’t have invited yourself over then should you?”
I saw the glare directed at me from under his hat. I’d won this bout, and couldn’t wait for the next.
I had been kidding when I told him that he would be slumming it in my flat, it’s small but exquisite. I mean I am a bachelor and it was just a pad really; I spent most of my time over at Alice’s sleeping in the Carter’s spare room. All very respectable and genteel, but it meant that my actual flat had become more of an address than a home; I hadn’t lived there full time since my student days. It hadn’t changed much. Suits me fine though and I was not going to be embarrassed about it. He was not going to die from one night spent on the sofa, it was a very nice sofa, limited edition, leather recliner thing.
From the second he graced my door, however, it became painfully obvious that he did not intend to spend any amount of time on the sofa. Whilst I boiled the kettle and counted out the teabags into the pot he performed a rough inventory of my flat. Treating it like a rat hole, okay so I don’t use it very much but it is in Kensington! I wondered where his house was that he treated my place with such disdain. By the time that I joined him in the lounge he had settled himself into the most comfortable armchair and was drinking a glass of scotch that he must have found somewhere, I hadn’t even known that I had any. He still gracefully accepted the tea as he reclined in his, I mean my, chair.
“Only one bedroom.”
“Correct, I hope you don’t mind.” I asked mock solicitously, it wasn’t really a question.
“You know, my house has five bedrooms.”
“Does it?”
“Yes, so there we wouldn’t have to share.”
“Pity you invited yourself over then.”
I realised the import of what he had just said and continued with “Hang on, what do you mean share?” At exactly the same moment as he responded with “Is it?” I wouldn’t let myself focus on what he had meant and waited for his response.
“There are two of us and only one bed. What do you suggest?”
“Well the sofa...” I began but trailed off as I recognised just how hopeless that suggestion was.
“If you’d rather sleep on the sofa then of course I’ll understand.”
Then he got up placing both of his drinks down on the coffee table and minced off in the direction of my bedroom. I downed the rest of his scotch and blinked in appreciation, it was good stuff, I made a mental note to ask him where he had found it. Then I hauled myself up and followed him, he was not going to get the better of me that easily. I froze on the threshold of my room, he seemed to have lost the vast majority of his clothing and was already settled into the duvet, he looked up at me as I paused in the doorway.
“Do you want to be the front or the back spoon?”
I was speechless. He had won bout two fair and square. Bugger it!
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-02 02:22 am (UTC)You know how much I love this fic don't you? I know how hard you've been working on it!! Certainly one of the best AU/Crack-y fics I've ever read!
And don't worry about it, I enjoyed the cryptic 'squee' messages! XD
P.S., I hope you get that story tag!!
no subject
Date: 2010-06-02 02:51 pm (UTC)I'm a little worried about this one to be honest, the first two chapters ar a little odd, I'm kinda just hoping that people will keep reading until Ryan appears!
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Date: 2010-06-02 07:54 am (UTC)I'll look out for part two. Great start! :o) x
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Date: 2010-06-02 02:46 pm (UTC)Part two shouldn't be long, it's all written so I'm just tweaking it really!
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Date: 2010-06-02 02:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-02 02:59 pm (UTC)Well this is most defo AU *looks at English!Colin and shakes head in bemusement!*
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Date: 2010-06-02 04:35 pm (UTC)I am so intrigued, by Greg's motives and in particular why Colin is British for the purposes of this story. Heee, I can't wait to find out. ^^
xx
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Date: 2010-06-02 07:04 pm (UTC)I have to admit that Colin being English was kinda accidental; I was trying to write Greg in England, and then Colin appeared and stole the show! XD
Thankies for lovely comment, and your ficcie is coming along!
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Date: 2010-06-02 06:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-02 07:05 pm (UTC)XD
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Date: 2011-01-03 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-13 06:19 pm (UTC)Officially hooked and off to read the rest.