Road Trip Ch 3/6

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Thanks for the comments and taggage



“Where the fuck are we?” she growled, glaring at the gas station signs blaring out obnoxious prices, illuminating everything at nine o’clock at night.

“The outskirts of Weed.” Ryan replied, voice tight with pain. His back was not meant for this.

“There’s really a town in California named Weed?”

“Mhmm…”

She snorted and followed him as he led them to a Motel 8 and bought them a two bed room at ground level. He didn’t think he could go up stairs right now.

The room was small, clean looking, and if Max looked at the far wall close enough, she could see brown stains that were obviously blood. She locked both locks on the door. “Where’s the phone book?” Ryan pointed to the desk and she pulled it out of the drawer. She called up a tow service that was still open and had them tow her baby to their shop, hoping it was still there when they got to it.

Ryan stretched out on the surprisingly comfortable bed with a pained sigh and pulled some pain pills and a water bottle out of his bag.

“I’m going to take a quick shower,” Max muttered before disappearing, not even waiting for him to reply. He didn’t quite care. The bathroom door shut with a snap and the hiss of the shower sounded, leaving him alone to wait for the pain pills to work and leaving him to think about the second enormous fight he’d had in as many days. The only problem with this one is Max hadn’t deserved a single word he’d said to her.

Pat, on the other hand… she’d deserved every single, furious syllable.

He shut his eyes, trying to block out the buzzing of his memories like thousands of angry bees, but of course, that just made it possible for the images to surface.

Ryan hadn’t said anything in the beginning when he caught Pat with Neal, one of their neighbors. He’d just walked into the quiet house, set his keys down and walked upstairs, working up the courage to ask Pat for a back rub when he heard a sound.

A moan, soft, low, and it made the hair on his arms rise and stand at attention. He felt his heart jump, fear flooding him as he hurried to their bedroom. “Pat? Babe, you okay?”

He flung the door open and found her, legs in the air, making more noise for him than Ryan had ever heard from her during their whole marriage. He hadn’t said a thing when she screeched in shock and anger and shame. He didn’t move for the guy as he gathered his clothes and bolted. He just stared at her, feeling his vision blacken around the edges, and he marveled at how when the books described fury it was like a tidal wave inside your heart… now he knew just how true they were.

“How dare you…” He husked softly.

“Ryan, you weren’t supposed to be home,” she gabbled, pulling on a robe. “You’re never home! You shouldn’t be here!” her voice rose into outrage, as though it had been him who had cheated on her. “You’re never here, you never talk to me, and Neal is here! He’s been here for me ever since you checked out!”

“I’ve never checked out on you in my life!” he roared, making her take a step back. “I’ve never even looked at another woman in my life! So don’t you dare get angry when you couldn’t have the decency to tell me I was wasting my time with you!”

“I am your wife, Ryan!” she yelled, tears dripping down her cheeks. “I am also a human being. And I need things in life beyond the material! I need more than a peck on the cheek in the morning and before we go to sleep! I need to be talked to more than what to have for dinner and what needs to be washed. I need you to be here for me more than you’re mere presence!”

They stared at one another, both winded from rage and an unknown feeling that felt akin to physically drowning.

“I’ll sleep on the couch tonight,” she said softly, hanging her head.

“No… no you won’t.” he said just as softly. She looked up, hope just barely there. “I’ll sleep on the couch…” he jerked his chin at the rumpled bed behind her. “I’m never sleeping in that thing again.”

“Hey Ryan, are you alright?” Max’s voice shattered the painful memory, and he blinked up at her, finding his eyes wet.

“Yeah… yeah I’m fine. M’back just hurts a lot,” he grunted, turning over to lay on his belly.

“Have you taken anything for it?”

“Yeah, just waiting for it to kick in,”

Silence after that lasted for a good long time, until he almost forgot she was there. He was almost asleep when the first spasm rippled up his back. Of all the times to get muscle spasms and in all the places. He groaned, gritting his teeth and trying to stretch out the muscle when he felt warm hands on him. “Lay flat,”

“Max?”

“As usual,” he could just see her slightly mocking smile. “Lay flat on your stomach, and lift your front.” He did and she shoved a pillow beneath his stomach.

Then she shoved his shirt up, and he almost rolled away when she began to rub his back in long, smooth strokes, soothing the jumping muscles. He groaned in appreciation, melting into the funky smelling bed. “Are you doing better?” she asked softly.

“Yeah,” he purred as she rested her hands over his back, letting their warmth soak into it.

“Were you having a nightmare?”

He blinked at the wall. “Look… Max… I appreciate all that you’ve done for me… and for all of my shit that you’ve tolerated…” He glanced up at her.

She was just sitting there, watching him, a look of infinite patience on her face.

Everything he might’ve been trying to say flew out the window and what came out his mouth shocked them both a little. “I caught Pat cheating on me last night… after I came home, I went upstairs and found them en flagrante.”

Her eyes widened but that was all, so he kept going.

“The kids don’t know… I slept on the couch last night… and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t spread this around.”

“You left angry?”

“Yeah,”

“Did you say goodbye to her?”

“No,”

“Ryan-”

“Max, I’m warning you-” he began dangerously but she cut across him instantly.

“No Ryan, you need to try and call her. Things may be fucked up between you two right now, but at least let her know that the father of her children hasn’t died in a car accident.” Max said firmly before getting up and going to the bathroom and brushing out her hair.

Ryan scowled after her. But… she was right. Maybe he would just talk to Sam or Mack instead of his wife… he dialed, grabbing another pillow to rest his cheek on. Pat picked up on the second ring. “Hello Ryan,” she said stiffly.

“Hello Pat.” He sounded just as stiff. “I’m just calling to let you know that we’ve stopped in Weed, and we’re going to be in Washington tomorrow.”

“Ryan, please… can we talk?”

“We are,”

“Dammit that’s not what I meant and you know it,” she spat. “Look… I’m sorry. I’m more sorry for what I did to you that I’ve ever been before, but I’m not sorry I’ve stepped out on you… I need so much more than what I’ve been getting from you…”

“Then you should have told me, Patricia… this communication that you’ve been wanting so badly needs to work both ways. If I’d have known you weren’t happy, I would have asked how I could fix it,”

“Remember when I asked you to talk to me more, after we talked with Mack about talking to us?”

“Yeah,” he slumped.

“I told you, Ryan, and you blew me off.”

“Well I’m sorry, but dammit… did you have to do this to me?” he asked quietly, feeling weak and hating it, and hating her for once in his life, just for making him feel this way. “Did you have to make me see this? Did you have to do it in our marriage bed?!” he shut his phone on her, shutting it off when she tried to call him back. He buried his face in the pillow, his shoulders shaking with tears that had been a while coming. Hell he’d forgotten what it felt like to cry.

“Ryan… are you alright?”

He gave a weak laugh and shook his head, his face still buried in the pillow. “I’m not alright, Max… I am so not alright I’m crying for the first time in such a long time and all I want is to be held… but even if you do hold me I’ll cry harder. And I don’t cry.”

He felt her warm hand on his shoulder and froze, trying to clamp down on his feelings. “Ryan… it’s okay. It’s okay to cry… I’ll be here.” He felt her drape herself across his shoulders, holding him tightly, and like that, everything he’d tried to squish back in its box burst out from under his hands.

However, it wasn’t despair. Ryan was crying because he was helpless, and that made him furious. He moved away from Max, struggling to rise up off the bed but her hand on his arm made him glare back at her. “Ryan, you’re hurt, please don’t make it worse because you’re mad.”

“Max… my wife just fucked around on me… she has been for a long time… I am allowed to be angry,” he growled, trying not to explode on her. Again.

“What do you need?”

“I need for my wife not to cheat on me!” he shouted, moving to sit up and crying out when a spasm of pain shot through the haze of drugs just now settling over him. “I’ve neglected her so bad that I can’t even tell when she’s fucking my next door neighbor! And don’t you dare tell me it isn’t my fault!”

“I wasn’t going to. Laying blame isn’t my job. But right now, my job is to make sure you don’t damage yourself,” she said firmly, holding a hand out to him. “Now please, lay down before I make you. Force would not do you good.” Her hand stayed out, reaching towards him. “Yes, it happened, but hurting yourself… letting your anger feed it… this won’t help you,”

“Yeah, and what will?” he asked bitterly, turning away from her hand and staring at the far wall.

“Well, I can think of something that always helps one way or another. Booze.”

He snorted as she rose to the fridge in the corner. “This is a Motel 8. They don’t have a mini bar.”

“So I gather,” she growled at the empty fridge. “Fuck… would they have some at the front desk?”

“There’s a liquor store around the corner, I’ll go-”

He made to rise but she poked his chest, keeping him on the bed. “You will do no such thing. Stay, and I’ll be back with some hard stuff. Perhaps I’ll even get lucky and find someone with a hook up.”

“A hook up?”

She blinked at him. “God you are so white bread middle American.” She made it sound like a sad thing, but didn’t give him a chance to ask about her meaning.

He decided to attempt a shower while she was out. Hopefully warm his back up, heat the muscles, and sluice the road dirt and sweat off.

He shuffled in, his back prickling with the need to cause him pain and he grinned. Pain killers really do work sometimes. He stripped and shut the door, a see through thing that always made him nervous, especially when with other people he never wanted to see him naked. He did have his hang-ups, and one of them was he knew exactly what he looked like. Tall, a big beer belly, large smelly feet… he sighed, turning and letting the hot water blast his shoulders.

He snagged some little bottles of shampoo and conditioner and scrubbed at his hair gingerly, minding the muscles in his back feeling a lot like jelly. He soaped up a rag and scrubbed half-heartedly at his tired body, even more unappealing in this lighting and sighed. He grabbed at the soap but it slipped from his fingers, and without thinking he stooped to pick it up.

The first thing that told him he shouldn’t have done that was that he couldn’t stand back up.

The second thing was a sudden sensation of pain lancing through the drugs and making him cry out. He knelt, feeling his eyes watering in pain and called for help. But no one could hear him. A few steadying breaths, resting his forehead against the tile wall, he whimpered, almost glad no one could hear him. He cursed up and down the bad mouth alphabet, but it didn’t help or make him feel better. So he stayed there, his knees secondary pain as he pressed himself to the wall of the shower, water beating down on his naked body as his back decided that now would be a fine time to get even with him for walking with a heavy bag on his shoulders.

Then the water heater ran out of hot water. He cried out in shock as the spray turned quite cold indeed, making his dick want to tunnel into his body to get away. “Max where the fuck are you?!” he squeaked, trying to get up and out of the frigid spray.

On one hand, it felt good on his back, on the other, he began shivering, which only hurt him all the more.

A small giggle went up, then laughter, until Ryan was alternately shaking with laughter and whimpering at the pain it caused.

He heard the door open and shut after what seemed like hours and called out. “Max?!”

A muffled “Yeah?” at the door made him want to slump in relief. He bit his lip, knowing how humiliating this was… maybe he could do it himself. He tried to move and grit his teeth not to scream. “Ryan? Are you alright?”

“Max, I need your help…”

He heard her curse. “Are you decent?”

He giggled high pitched and hysterical again. “Nope.”

She cursed again and came in, eyes closed. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t stand up…”

She opened her eyes and immediately looked away, before looking back, her face beet red. “Shit,” she hurried forward, shutting off the water and draping a towel over him. She nearly recoiled at his freezing wet skin. “Fucking hell Ryan, how long have you been this way?”

“Since you left,” he said miserably.

“Damn,” she breathed. “Okay um… how much painkillers did you take?”

“Not enough, can we just get me out of this position please?” he hated how weak he sounded, but for the life of him, he was too humiliated to be seen like this. Not even Pat had seen him this way.

“Okay…” she gathered herself, “Okay, I’m going to guide you to a lying down position,” she put the rest of the fluffy towels on the floor and knelt on them, gripping his shoulders tightly. “Are you ready?”

He almost nodded but caught himself in time. “Yeah…”

“One, two… three,”

He kept his scream locked between his teeth, but it still leaked out in tears, whimpers and desperate breaths as she guided him to roll to the side, out of the shower and onto the towels she’d laid out. She cradled his head, reaching out to cover him and give him at least a little bit of his dignity left, and then knelt there, running fingers through his hair while he collected himself.

He blinked up at her, and she got toilet paper, dabbing at his eyes, drying his face off. “Not how the trip should have been.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “One more pain pill, some alcohol, and then we’re going to get you dressed and into bed.”

“Sounds good, except for the alcohol part, shouldn’t mix the two of them.”

“I know, but I’m hoping I can get you just shitfaced enough that you can get up and into bed, because you sure as hell aren’t spending the night shivering, naked and wet on the bathroom floor. That’s just weird.”

He laughed, teeth chattering and winced, whimpering just a little bit more. He blinked, swallowing hard and looked up at the ceiling. “Can I just have my pain pill now?”

She pressed her lips together and nodded. “Sure… be right back.”

She had to prop him up so he could choke down the pill and water, which in itself was an arduous task that made him hurt even more. Then he began to shiver in earnest… so she took off her jacket and snuggled up to his side under it. Which made life very awkward for him wearing naught but towels.

He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “Max…”

“Mhmm?”

“I uh… I think I can get up now…”

She looked up at him. “Are you certain,”

He blushed and nodded gently. “I’ll just take it slow, you know?”

“Well… then let’s do it…”

It took quite a while, and Ryan lost his modesty once more before she wrapped a towel around his waist, but together they got him up off the floor and into the bedroom where she pulled his pajama pants on and got him snuggled under the covers safely.

“I’m not even going to bother with cleaning up the towels,” she grunted, pulling a paper cup out of the mini cabinet and pouring a snort of something cheap, designed only to get you drunk. She swigged it, coughing and pulling a face before dumping it all out.

“That bad, hmm?”

“Who knew Wild Turkey was so shitty,” she grinned dryly. “It’s good thing the salesman behind the counter decided I was cute enough to hook me up.” She produced a small joint from her coat pocket and a lighter from the other. “But…” she sighed, staring at the joint forlornly. “I guess I’ll wait until you can play, too.” She put them back and turned to find him smiling faintly at her.

“I’m touched that you care,” he quipped, voice already gravelly with sleep.

She chuckled. “Ryan, I always cared… even when I was going to leave you with the rabid deer,”

“You weren’t really going to leave me there, were you?”

“Yes I was, but I would’ve stopped and turned back after a mile or two,” she shrugged. He laughed before wincing, shivering just a little. “Still cold?”

“I will be for a long ass time… and now the entire upper half of California has no hot water…” he was silent for a moment before he licked his lips, a flush creeping over his cheeks. “Listen… thank you for not… saying anything… when I was like that… I mean, I know I’m not as attractive to look at as your boyfriends and girlfriends, but thanks for helping me…”

“Ryan,” she moved over and laid a hand over his cold one. “Who told you you weren’t attractive?”

He grit his teeth. “I’m not. Only the chuckle sluts want me, and that’s as long as I entertain them. Once the clothes come off, they aren’t interested…”

“And you know this, how?”

“That’s how it was before Pat, when I was young… now that I’ve gotten older? Come on… beer bellies have never been en vogue.”

“Ryan…” he looked over at her, and she gave him a pained smile that made him frown. She patted his hand. “You’re an idiot if you think that no one would have you as you are,”

He didn’t get to question her, because she moved to her own bed and slid between the sheets and shut out the lights. He shivered a little, his frown softening slowly until his face smoothed out and he slid into sleep on a buoyant raft of pain pills.

Comments

[blindlyluv.livejournal.com]

I like very much. Richly human.

[pdglyph.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much :)

[stiles1.livejournal.com]

This is getting really good. A woman who can stand toe to toe with Ryan. Has to be toe to toe, because not to many people can see eye to eye with him. (HA HA) Lookinh froward to the next chapter.

[pdglyph.livejournal.com]

Hello!

You're new to me, and thanks very much for the comment. Ha ha indeed :D

[sungreen70.livejournal.com]

OK, I have forgiven Ryan for being a prick in previous chapters. *glares at Pat*

The bathroom scene made me giggle all the way through. And I like how he and Max are starting to bond but still wary with each other - very natural.

Great work!

[pdglyph.livejournal.com]

Thanks for commenting. I feel spoiled now :D