Hey

[pyxle.livejournal.com]

Hey, been a lurker on this comm for a while :)
Posted on WliiaLove though. So i thought i'd post one of them on this one aswell. So here goes.

Title: Untitled
Rating: 13?
Pairing:Chip/Greg- appearance of other Britliners (Just how i like it, Britline all the way)
Notes: Well my good friend Ally_pops gave me 4 words to include. Vodka. Apple. Remote. Glasses.

Comments would be greatly appreciated.

 

 

 

"Bloody hell, Whose are these?" Chip said picking up the pair of horn-rimmed buddy holly stylee glasses and

placing them on his own face. "Christ, whoever they are they must be blind."

 

Taking the glasses back off and putting them on the table in the middle of the green room. Looking at the other

man who was in the green room.

"Arghhh!" Chip said making the most dramatic "damsel in distress" gesture as possible.

"What?!" The other man said from the other side of the room.

"You, you look so much nicer with those things on." Chip saod gesturing at the glasses on the table.

The other man leaned forward and took the glasses placing them on his own face.

"You want to know something?" He asked Chip.

"Shoot."

"You look better when i have them off!"

"Shit sorry, are they yours?"

"Sure,I just took them off to have a rest you stupid twat." 

"Sorry...What did you just call me?"

"Twat."

"Twat?"

"Yeah, Oh sorry not been over here before have you? Basically means you are a stupid git."

"Git?"

"Sod."

"Nope." Chip said with a confused look on his face.

"Oh right, okay umm it means sexy man."

"WHAT?!" Chip said with a look of utter disbelief.

"You heard." Greg said with a smirk on his face, rising and heading out of the door."Come on, Clive wants

us for the last game and credits."

 

"Okay welcome back to whose line is it anyway, now were ready for remote control! This game is for everyone

Greg, Chip, Paul and Tony. Okay so Chip your going to be Sherlock Holmes or some English detective programme,

Greg your a childrens Tv programme, Paul your The Clangers. And Tony you're Songs of Praise. So what i need is somethings that annoys you."

 

The audience started shouting out suggestions.

"Police."

"Kids."

"Yanks!"

 

"Wanks?" Clive quizzed.

"Yanks, Americans!" The audience member shouted back.

"Yes like i said, Wanks!" Clive said shooting a look at Greg.

"Oh i get it, Yanks, Wanks, i get it good one oh my folically impared friend." Greg retorted in a falsetto voice laced with sarcasm.

"Yes well, it was that man who suggested it not me! Anyway the subject is Americans, annoying americans that should be easy for 2 of you."Clive said looking along the line towards Paul and Tony Off you go, Paul."

 

"How the hell..okay" Paul said and just carried on with his segment whistling. *Buzz*

 

"Oh i knew we'd have a bit of an issue when i read this who wrote it, were they on the vodka at the time. Clangers. Tony!"Clive said.

"Welcome to songs of praise, and now over to the national BBC orchestra for their remdition of Too fat to bend over and pray."

*Buzz*

"Greg."

"Hello children, do you want a drink? Cup of tea? How about some chips from the chip shop?" Greg said in a mock english accent looking with a raised eyebrow at Clive.

*Buzz*

"Kids programme! That wasn't a kids programme!"

"Well apparantly, the suggestion was wanks so you english and what not" Greg said again in a mock English accent.

"Fine, Chip your turn."

"What do you think this is all about Watson? This i think was a crime of passion. The note says  I'm sorry that i put you through all that, i had to do it, i had no other choice, i still love you you twat. And is signed with an x."

*Buzz*

"Twat? I dont think that twat was EVER used in a sherlock holmes programme, especially at the end of a love note chip!" Clive said, making the audiance burst out in laughter. Chip just looked over to Greg, who was trying to stop himself sniggering. Just shrug it off, only the credits now.  Chip just avoided Greg’s eyes.

“Well that game was certainly interesting” Clive said looking at his two American guests “So the winner this time is Greg and Chip and I would like you to read the credits in the style of my choosing, and that is two obnoxious American tourists who have come to the country for the first time. So I say thank you to out performers tonight, Greg Proops, Chip Esten, Paul Merton, Tony Slattery, Richard Vranch at the piano and it’s me Clive Anderson saying goodnight, Goodnight.”

 

Chip and Greg both stepped forward. For his first show Chip thought he had done well, winning an all, but why did he feel so put out. Greg using his famous English/Clive hate gags got on with the credits while Chip hung back a bit just throwing in a few things. All he wanted to do was get to his hotel and relax. The credits Drew to a close and the performers and Clive all headed to the green room.

 

“Great first show Chip!” Tony stated as he entered the green room.

“It was okay. Not great though.”

“Yeah it was, come on, coats everyone, up to the pub.”

Everybody got up and moved towards the door apart from Chip.

“Are you coming Chip?” Paul asked a lot more chipper than he was on stage.

“Umm thanks and all guys but I just want to get back to the hotel and chill is all.”

“You sure, we’d love you to come. I really am quite nice it’s just that prat over there that brings out the worst in me.” Clive said pointing towards Greg.

“No thanks for offering guys, but not tonight, take a rain check?” Clive just looked confused.

“That’s American for another time Clive..” Greg said with an almost bored tone.

“Oh right. Okay then another time Chip, and with that the group of men left, Chip heading the opposite way to the others to his hotel.

 

The pub.

“What’ll it be guys?”Paul asked.

“Pint.” Said Tony.

“Half.” Said Clive

“Apple cocktail” Greg said giving Paul a stupid grin, raising one of his eyebrows.

“No Way! Am I going to order that. You go!”

“It doesn’t matter, I’ll just have a half like baldy here.” He gestured towards Clive. Paul headed towards the bar.

“Can’t handle proper beer, not like that watered down rubbish you have in America.” Clive quipped.

“No, it’s not that, I think I should really go and call round to Chip he wasn’t himself back there. I think it was my fault.”

“Why? How could it be your fault?, you didn’t do anything.” Tony asked.

“I did, before remote control I called him a twat and told him that it meant sexy man, that’s why he used it in the skit. And looked really put out when the audience burst out laughing. Greg said taking his drink from Paul. A chorus of thank you’s came from around the table.

“And I don’t think my ribbing of him helped any either.” Clive said.

“What we talkin’ ‘bout.” Paul asked sitting back down.

“Chip. And no ‘spose it didn’t” Greg said draining his glass.

“Whoa, Slow down Greg!” Tony said.

“I’m going now I really think I need to apologise to chip. See you later, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah.”

“Whatever.” Greg got up and headed to the address he had gotten from Clive.

 

The Hotel.

 

Chip was sitting on the edge of his bed head in hands and drink on the bedside table. Thinking. Just thinking about things. The knock at the door made him jump. Ignore it and it will go away. It didn’t.

“What?!” Chip shouted through the door.

“House Keeping.” Came the reply in a hideously attempted Russian accent.

“Fuck off Greg!”

“Chip, please let me talk to you. I’m not going to grovel in the hall.”

“Fine. 10 minutes.” Chip shouted back getting up to open the door.

 

 

“What do you want?” Chip asked making his way back to the bed, eyes on the floor.

“I came to apologise.”

“Oh yeah?” Chip snorted.

“Yeah, I didn’t know that you would use it on stage.”

“Well I did didn’t I and I’ve totally fucked up my chance to get back on the show now! No YOU have!”Chip said clasping his hands tightly together.

“No you haven’t if you’d have come to the pub with us we were going to discuss if you could come back for the next recording.”

“What?!” Chip asked looking up for the first time.

“You heard. Even Paul liked you and he’s really hard to get close to. He asked you to come with us didn’t him, it took me about 6 recordings with him, for him to even talk to me!”

Greg said sitting down on the bed next to Chip.

“What does it mean then?” Chip asked looking at Greg for the first time.

“Huh, What does what mean?” Greg asked as a look of utter confusion crossed his face.

“Twat? What does twat mean?”

“Oh.” Said Greg chuckling to himself. “Just an English insult, if your going to work over here, you are going to have to learn some. And you are going to have to learn some.”

“How about sod?”

“Insult.”

“Git?”

“Insult.”

“So why did you say that it meant sexy man?” Chip asked growing quieter. Bowing his head to hide his embarrassment in having to ask that question. Not noticing Greg getting closer and leaning in.

“Because ….” Greg whispered. He turned his whole body towards Chip. “I like you chip. I mean really like you.” Chip looked up noticing how close Greg had got.

“What?!” Chip asked as quiet as Greg admitted it.

“I mean it.” Greg whispered almost inaudibly making the hairs on the back of Chips neck stand up. He gently cupped Chips face turning it towards his own. Placed his lips on Chips. Who didn’t pull away. He  just pulled him in deeper.

Comments

[kirili.livejournal.com]

YAY YOU.

I'm just so happy to find something FUNNY in this fandom about... comedians -.-

So okay, yes, concrit (ifyoudon'tmind): betaaaa because even if it's not too bad to have spelling errors (saod instead of said), the paragraphing is a bit wonky and that makes it a big squish of quotation marks in places.

Uhm if you need a beta I am totally available.

aaaaand thanks for making me laugh and may you write plenty more :D.

[pyxle.livejournal.com]

Hey, thanks, already have a beta im afraid.

Wasn't around for a while thats why there are some errors :(

Thanks for the offer and thanks for reading.

The next one will be properly betad ;)

Thanks