FIC - LoveSick

[xrockoutx116.livejournal.com]

Yay for Chapter 2!

Title: LoveSick
Pairings: None yet.
Characters: Brad, Chip, Colin, Drew, Greg, Jeff, Ryan
Rating: I'm gonna bump it to R to be safe
Chapters: 2 of ?
Summary: Jeff has a strange dream.
Note: erm...not quite sure how to put this, but as I've been developing the story, it's turned into a story where Ryan...well, isn't a very nice guy. So just a warning for Ryan-lovers - this is the beginning!

 

Chapter 2

“Hi, and welcome to ‘Whose Line is It Anyway’. On tonight’s show, the newest Spice Girl…Greg Proops. You’re a Good Man…Jeff Davis. The newest spokes model for Rogaine…Colin Mochrie. Here he is, Miss America…Ryan Stiles!! Alright, let’s get the show started!!”

 

Jeff found himself sitting in his usual chair on set, but not in his usual wardrobe. He had on his black tank top and boxers, and surprise, was still sweating. He looked to his left at Colin and Ryan. Colin had brown hair that went down to the floor…and wore nothing else. Ryan was wearing a shining silver ball gown complete with a sash and tiara. Looking to his right, Greg was in a purple jumpsuit. Jeff looked at the audience, blinking. This…was not good.

Why were he and Greg here? The two of them never did a show together. Wayne was always on it when they were on…

 

Drew made his way to his desk, although his Carmen Miranda outfit was a bit constricting. Drew kept on talking as Jeff continued to look at his cast mates.

 

“Hey Jeff?” Greg said from beside him. Jeff turned, only to see Greg smoking a cigarette. “What the fuck is the matter with you? You look like you’re on drugs or something…”

 

Jeff rubbed his eyes. He grabbed his cup and took a swig from it, hoping it would calm him down, but when it tasted like cold coffee, it only confused him more. Colin and Ryan, now smoking as well, along with everyone else in the studio, were all staring at Jeff.

“Alright, this first game is for everyone. It’s called Party Quirks. Jeff, you’re going to be hosting a party. Greg, Colin and Ryan will be various guest. We’ve given them certain quirks that they’ll have to act out and at the end Jeff will have to guess them. So any time you’re ready.”

 

Jeff stood in the middle of the stage. “What the fuck am I doing here?” The audience began to laugh, taking it as a joke. The doorbell rang. Jeff shook his head and went to answer the imaginary door. Greg entered, playing ‘Seductive Spy Trying to Determine if Jeff is Hiding Weapons in his Pants’.

 

“So, why exactly did you invite me here?” Greg asked, putting on a fake accent. He walked up to Jeff, placing his hands on his abdomen. They slowly drifted southward, around his dick which was becoming hard, around his ass, down his thighs.

“I – I thought you had invited yourself,” Jeff stuttered, becoming flustered.

 

“No, no, no. You always are so charming,” Greg purred, continued to trace over Jeff’s lower half with his hands.

The doorbell rang again, causing Jeff to jump in the air. He pulled away from Greg, going over towards the door. Colin, still smoking his cigarette, came in, playing ‘Little Tea Pot’.

“Do you like me weak or strong?” Colin muttered, the cigarette bobbling in his mouth.

 

Jeff simply stared. He shrugged. “Doesn’t- doesn’t matter to me. You pick.” The doorbell rang again, causing Jeff to walk over to the door once more.

 

Ryan stepped in, a sly grin dancing on his face. The sign to the audience flashed ‘Serial Killer Searching for New Victim’. No laughs came from the audience this time. Jeff, feeling like his head was spinning, looked to the audience. There was no audience anymore.

 

“Jeff, keep going!” Drew prodded, motioning for Jeff to keep doing what he had been. Jeff swallowed, trying not to throw up.

Colin walked over whistling, one hand on his hip, the other bent at and awkward angle. “I’m almost done. Would you like some of me?”

Jeff shook his head nervously. “No, I don’t want any tea. No.” The buzzer sounded, and Colin ran off. Then, before he could act, Jeff felt Greg’s hands all over him again. Jeff bit his lip, resisting the urge to moan.

 

“Where is it?! It has to be in here somewhere! If I bring back nothing to the government, surely they will kill me!” Greg said. He turned to Jeff. “Where are you hiding it? I must have it!” He grabbed Jeff’s dick again.

 

Jeff, gritting his teeth, said “I’m sorry, but you can take your spy-self home, as your weapon is not in my pants.” The buzzer rang, and Greg walked off

 

He turned to Ryan, who was simply standing there, an odd expression on his face. “And you…you…I have no clue,” Jeff said, still panting from his time with Greg.

Ryan raised his eyebrows. “Really? I thought you wanted one of these!!” he asked, pulling out a large knife. Jeff, for a moment, began to laugh. Not only did Ryan look ridiculous in a floor length silver dress and tiara, but he was holding a steak knife now. All Jeff could think about was Miss America as a murderer.

 

Ryan lunged at Jeff, knocking him to the ground. With one swift blow, Ryan lodged the knife in Jeff’s chest. A look of terror came across Jeff’s face as he realized what was truly going on. “What – what’s going on?”

 

Ryan grinned. “Come on…who am I?”

 

Jeff shot up in his bed, panting uncontrollably. He grabbed the sheet, tugged on his shirt, looked down at his chest. No knife wound. Nothing. It was all a dream.

 

He saw Chip sleeping in the bed next to him. Wait…he’d been asleep for that long? But he’d fallen asleep at like 11! He pulled himself out of the sticky sheets. After realizing he may have done it a bit too quickly, he grabbed the desk to steady himself. Ignoring the swimming sensation in his head, he saw the glass of water and two ibuprofens that lay on the table. Smiling, he remembered earlier. He popped them into his mouth and chugged the water.

 

He then slowly walked out of his room, grabbing onto the walls of the hallway to keep him up.

 

Making his way slowly down the stairs, he heard the television on downstairs at a low pitch. Hobbling into the den, he saw Greg sitting on the couch, drinking a beer. Greg looked at him.

 

“Hey. Look at you, actually sleeping for some time…well for 14 hours to be exact…but who’s counting?” Greg said with a smile. “Are you still sick?”

“Well, I’m still sweating, and my whole body hurts now…but good news, I have not thrown up yet. Keep your fingers crossed.”

 

Greg smiled. “If you’re planning to sit over here, you better not throw up.” He then motioned for Jeff to sit down with him on the couch.

Jeff walked over and sat down, pulling his legs under him. “So, why are you still up?” Jeff asked.

 

“Well, Chip and Brad had a huge argument, which I’m surprised you didn’t hear. Brad stormed out of the house, so I’m just waiting for him to get back,” Greg explained.

 

“Huge? About what?” Jeff asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“There’s some issues between them right now. Brad doesn’t want to admit his feelings, but Chip says he knows everything Brad feels…it’s like watching a fucking soap opera,” Greg sighed, rolling his eyes.

 

Jeff laughed. The two of them sat in silence for a moment before Jeff asked. “Hey Greg?”

 

“Yes?”

“You don’t own a purple jump suit, do you?”

Greg spit out the beer he had just drank. “What kind of question is that? And you asked so calmly…’Greg, you wouldn’t happen to own a pair of leather pants, would you?’”

Jeff burst out laughing.

 

“I bet you’re wondering if there truly are a pair of leather pants hanging in my closet now,” Greg mused, looking at Jeff.

“When you say it like that, of course I’m going to wonder!” Jeff exclaimed before bursting into laughter again.

 

“Why do you need to know about the purple jumpsuit.?” Greg asked, laughing along with Jeff.

 

Jeff looked at him strangely, forgetting why he had first asked. “Oh – oh yeah. It was just this dream I had. We, meaning you and I, were at a taping of Whose Line, and it was really weird. You were in a purple jumpsuit, and Colin had long hair that covered his body. Ryan wore a Miss America outfit, and Drew wore the outfit with the fruit hat, you know?” Jeff began to explain. Greg started to laugh hysterically.

 

“Wow. What kind of medication are you on?”

 

“Exactly. Then we played Party Quirks, only to have the audience disappear halfway through. And everyone was smoking, and I was drinking coffee. Oh, and Colin was supposed to be a teapot. It was weird, because I should’ve realized I was dreaming, but I didn’t,” jeff muttered.

 

“What did Ryan and I do? In the game?”

 

“Oh, oh. Um you were a spy trying to see if there was a weapon in my pants…” Jeff said, ignoring the heat that came instinctively into his cheeks.

 

Greg burst out laughing again. “Oh man. Me doing that in a purple jumpsuit. What a sight to see.”

 

Jeff smiled. “And Ryan…I’m not sure. All I know is he stabbed me with the knife I’d been joking about slitting my wrists with. Then, I woke up.”

 

Greg stopped laughing. Instead of seeing himself in a purple jumpsuit, all he could see was Ryan stabbing Jeff. He shook his head.

 

“Are you okay?” Jeff said, looking at him suspiciously.

 

Greg opened his eyes up. “Uh, yeah. I’m just tired.” But now that Jeff had shared that with him, he couldn’t get it out of his head.

 

“You can go to bed if you want. I’m wide awake, so I can wait up for Brad,” Jeff said to Greg, shrugging a bit.

 

Greg looked at Jeff, almost as if he was looking past Jeff. “Yeah, yeah, I think I’ll do that.” Greg got up from the couch and grabbed his bottles. He left Jeff curled on the couch, staring out the window.

 

“Are you okay, is the more important question?” Greg asked, looking down at him.

 

Jeff slowly looked up at Greg. Swallowing, he shook his head. “Yeah. It was only a dream. I just have to remember that.”

 

Greg dropped his stuff in the sink and said good night. Jeff watched him go up the stairs. He turned back to the window, muttering to himself, “Only a dream”.