Happy July 4th American Peoples

[makingamochrie.livejournal.com]

Here's more for anyone interested!  Thanks again for the feedback.

Title:  The Day the Points Really Mattered (subject to change)
Author:  MakingaMochrie
Rating:  NC17 (eventually).  WARNING:  There MAY be ONE instance of hetsex in the story, as it MAY be needed, but I'll try not to make it too graphic if I decide to include it.
Pairing:  Ryan/Colin:  Established relationship
Part: 3 of ?

“H-Harem Master?” Greg tumbled out in a strangely high, trembling voice, nearly blowing everything.

 

“Y-yes?” the stranger replied, still sufficiently cowed enough to believe that perhaps it was he who had made the mistake in the first place.

 

Colin’s belated throat clearing was enough to get Greg to slip back into character, and he tightened his grip on the man before him.  “You’re truly a fool,” he growled.  “That…property…is a Nubian Prince, blinded at birth, whom our great Caleph has chosen to be an interior harem guard.  He is worth more than all of the feeble half-wits in your family and their flea-bitten assets combined!”

 

“B-blinded at birth,” the man repeated, disbelieving as he turned his head back toward the still-sitting Wayne who, thankfully, had enough years impersonating Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles to pull off the deception without much of a problem.  Though his thoughts, upon hearing of his new ‘job’, were most interesting.

 

“Are you deaf as well as asinine?” Greg demanded, shoving the hapless stranger away with a look of genuine disgust.  “And the rest of you, did you all bathe in the same gene pool as well?”

 

The men looked at him with identical expressions of perplexity.  He shook his head in antipathy.  “Get back with the others, then, you useless piles of camel dung.”

 

Breathing sighs of relief, the men ran to their brethren and knelt, heads on the sand, before Colin.  Greg, in turn, shot a look to his friend, eyebrow quirked high, neatly tossing the ball back into his court.  Colin cleared his throat again.  Then, with a shoulder squeeze from Ryan, he jumped back in.  “Why are you here?”

 

One man, more elaborately dressed than the rest, took the chance to raise his head, though he deliberately avoided meeting the gaze of either Colin or Ryan.  “The sandstorm, Caleph.  It hit the compound with great force and kept us there for three days with its unceasing fury.  We knew you were returning to your palace from your journey, but we could not leave the compound.  Three groups tried.  All perished.  We waited out the storm and came as fast as we could, to render whatever aid we were able.”  He honestly looked as if he were about to cry, as he looked around.  “It appears we are too late.”

 

“You are indeed,” Colin replied, improvising his proverbial butt off as he tried to look haughty and angry all at once.  “My guards are gone.  My possessions, gone.  If he,” he continued, gesturing toward Drew, “hadn’t risked his life to save her, my First Wife would be gone as well.”

 

The guard immediately buried his head back in the sand.  “My deepest sorrow, Caleph,” he murmured.  “I will take, willingly, whatever punishment you deem necessary.  My men and I have failed you and are not deserving of your mercy.”

 

Colin felt Ryan shifting minutely against him, imparting a message that Colin easily read.  “I’ll deal with that later,” he rumbled, wincing at the blanch of fear that appeared around the guard’s eyes.  Although none of the players could be considered violent men, if there was a poster child for anti-violence, it would have been Colin Mochrie.  “Yes, well,” he said after a moment, “we’re in need of assistance, obviously.”  He nodded, pulling on a mantle of command he in no way wanted.  Damn it, Drew, why did you pick this time of all others to make the man?

 

“Ok,” he began, clapping his hands briskly, “prepare accommodations for my Harem Master and my First Wife immediately.  We’re returning to the palace.”

 

“Yes, Caleph!” the man—the head of Colin’s Personal Guard, though of course he didn’t know that—shouted, jumping to his feet and gesturing for the others—the remainder of the Personal Guard itself—to do the same.

 

Within moments, long poles and gaudy fabric had been set up on a camel, providing a private place befitting ‘the First Wife’.  Ryan, though Colin, convinced the guard to allow Drew, who was slowly coming to consciousness, to travel with him out from under the direct sunlight. 

 

It was amazing, but as far as Colin could tell—and Greg seemed to agree—the men around them actually saw Ryan as a woman, even though none of them looked directly at her, lest they face their own immediate execution.  Whatever they were seeing, even obliquely, wasn’t the reality of things, but that seemed for the better anyway.

 

Another piece to be added to the puzzle, Colin supposed.

 

A horse was scared up for Wayne and his leg shackles were removed to allow him to ride astride.  The Guard Captain was adamant about the wrist shackles, and Colin couldn’t figure any good reasons to argue, so with an apologetic look at his friend, he allowed them to stay on, at least until the trip was over.

 

The troupe’s best two horses were given to Colin and Greg and, moments later, the entire party was on the move again, headed steadily westward and toward, Colin fervently hoped, someplace where they could all get together and think things through.

 

Horseflesh brushed against him, and he startled a bit until he recognized Greg’s comforting bulk on the mount next to his.  “Guess you won’t be telling the fans that you only improvise on your work hours anymore, huh?” the comedian asked.

 

Letting out a dry chuckle, Colin shook his head.  “I only hope we’re as good as they say we are.”

 

“Oh, we are,” Greg said, confidence intact, as always.  “Don’t go worrying your shining little head about that.”

 

“I could have you horsewhipped, you know,” Colin grumbled.

 

“Mm,” Greg purred.  “Would you?  I think I might like that.”

 

A delighted chuckle, a fan of sand, and Greg was off with the forerunners, looking for all the world as if he belonged exactly where he was.

 

Colin simply sighed and trudged on, telling himself he wasn’t the least bit jealous.

 

******

 

“Tell me again,” Drew said, cheeks flushed, expression dreamy, “what is it exactly that I’m supposed to be?”

 

“This isn’t funny, Drew,” Ryan admonished, grinding his teeth as he watched his friend’s eyes slip closed and a ‘died and gone to heaven’ grin steal over his lips.  “I’m serious, man!  Do you realize that if ‘little Drew’ tries to get into the act, like he is now, he and the twins are gonna be taking a dirt nap faster than you can say Bobbit?”

 

That opened his eyes, and right quick.  “No way, man….”

 

“Yes, way.  Damnit, Drew, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know a lot about harems, but I’m guessing it’s a pretty universal rule that the only guy in one with his dick and nuts still attached is the one fucking all the chicks.  You know…the owner?  The rest of them….”

 

Wide eyed, Drew reached down and groped himself, letting go a gusty sigh of relief when he found himself to be intact.  Relief turned quickly to concern, however.  “So what the fuck am I supposed to do, man?  All those women….beautiful…naked….experienced….Jesus! It’s every straight guy’s fantasy! How the hell do I keep from responding to that?!?”

 

Ryan’s big hand came down on his friend’s meaty shoulder.  “Baseball scores.”

 

“What?!?”

 

“Pretend you’re gay?  Pray?  Suicide?  Sorry, man, that’s all I’ve got.”

 

“This coming from a dude in a dress.”

 

“Hey!  At least I don’t have to worry about losing my equipment.”

 

“Fuck.”

 

“Oh, I plan to.”

 

“You know what, Stiles?  You suck.”

 

“I plan on doing that, too.”

 

“Just…fuck.”

 

“And that again.”

 

“Get outta here, will ya?”

 

“Sorry, boss. It seems I’m the boss here.  I’m staying.  Buh-bye.”

 

“Shit.”

 

The guards flanking the enclosure wondered at the self-satisfied snickering coming from within, then shrugged and promptly forgot about it, determined to keep their ears.

 

*******

More later!  Thanks for reading!