(FIC) You could be Happy Part VII (Ry/Col)

[captanonymus.livejournal.com]

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Title: You could be happy VII
Author; captanonymus
Rating (G-NC17): Very mild
Main Character(s) and/or pairings; Ryan/Colin
Summary: The Challenge:  Ryan is desperate to be at Colin's 50th birthday, but his fear of flying is holding him back.  Write a story, as long or as short as you would like about what Ryan does to deal with this problem so that he can be with the man he loves on his very special day. 
wordcount: 2104

15 minutes later, the bathroom door opened and amidst clouds of steam, Ryan came out. He had a towel slung low around his waist, his hair was still damp but he was Ryan again. The beard had disappeared and for Colin it was as if the last three years hadn’t happened. He gasped, which made Ryan look up.

 

“Not like you remembered?” He asked shyly.

 

“Exactly like I remembered” Colin sighed, then caught himself, cleared his throat and said “You never had a beard, you look like the old Ryan again”

 

“What was the old Ryan like?” Ryan sat down on the bed.

 

“Stubborn, opinionated but a great friend and funny….very funny”

 

“I’m sorry…..”

 

“What for?”

 

“I’m not him you know….. I don’t remember…..I *can’t* remember” Ryan hit the bed with his fist and Colin could feel the mattress reverberate. He put a hand on Ryan’s shoulder from behind

 

“It’ll be alright Ry….maybe being in familiar places might bring your memory back..”

 

“I don’t want to meet any of my old friends…”

 

“What? Why not? They’ll want to see *you*…”

 

“I know, but I can’t face it…not if I can’t remember….I’d be a disappointment”

 

“You could never be a disappointment Ry…” Colin had, unconsciously, started rubbing Ryan’s back in circles and it felt as if Ryan was leaning into the touch.

 

“But I’d feel like it…..Back in the cabin, when you woke up and you saw me, I knew you were telling the truth when you told me who I was, but it was easier to pretend I didn’t….You looked crushed….and you still do….. Every time you look at me, I see you looking for something that isn’t there and….”

 

“Ry, stop it……you can’t blame yourself. At the moment, I don’t care that you’ve lost your memory. You’re still you and you’re alive, To me, that’s all that matters”

 

“What if I never remember?”

 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, ok? Let’s get some sleep first; tomorrow’s going to be a long day…”

 

Ryan sighed “you’re right….eh….I hate to ask but…eh….I need some clean underwear…”

 

“There’s some in the drawers, take your pick”

 

“Thanks” Ryan walked over to the small chest of drawers in the corner and selected a pair of blue boxers.

 

“I’ll just go and eh…” he pointed towards the bathroom.

 

“Ok” Colin swallowed and got back under the covers. This was going to be torture….why did he ever agree to share a bed with Ryan….. Colin reached for the light and switched it off. There was some light coming through the curtains anyway, so the room wasn’t completely dark. Just the idea of seeing Ryan in nothing but a pair of boxers was too much for Colin to handle. He closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing. He heard the bathroom door open again and a few seconds later, the bed dipped as Ryan slipped under the sheets.

 

“Night Colin”

 

“Night, Ry”

 

Colin closed his eyes and fought the urge to roll over and curl up to Ryan like he used to do. He realised he would have to tell Ryan about the nature of their relationship at some point but he was desperate to have a few days, maybe even a few weeks, of Ryan’s company. Surely Ryan would be uncomfortable around him if he found out how far their “friendship” had actually run.

He wasn’t sure Ryan would ever get his memory back and he didn’t think Ryan would fall for him a second time…. Especially now that he was even older and much, much balder….

 

He sighed and tried to banish the depressing thoughts, instead he concentrated on the sound of Ryan’s breathing, letting it lull him to sleep.

 

When he woke up the following morning, he became aware of two things. One; he was lying on his side and Ryan was plastered against his back, snoring contently and Two, Ryan was *very* happy to see him.  It means nothing, it’s just because it’s morning…It means nothing. He tried to keep still, not wanting to wake Ryan. Maybe he could just imagine that the last three years had not happened and Ryan was about to make love to him….He closed his eyes and gave himself over to the fantasy, leaning back into Ryan just a little more. Ryan responded to Colin’s movement by wrapping his arm even tighter around the Canadian’s waist and pulling him even closer.

Colin bit back a groan Please, for the love of god Ry…lie still or I won’t be able to control myself..

Unfortunately for Colin, Ryan had obviously not tuned into the psychic network and started moving his hips in an unconscious effort to get more friction going. Colin was trying his utmost to remain impassive but it was proving to be more and more difficult.

Just as he had decided to turn round, flip Ryan on his back and have his wicked way with him, consequences be damned, he noticed a change in Ryan’s breathing and suddenly Ryan stopped moving against him. Colin could have sworn he heard a gasp but as soon as he had thought it, the bed had dipped and Ryan was heading towards the bathroom as if the four horsemen of the apocalypse were hot on his tail…

 

Colin heard the shower and after 10 minutes, Ryan came out again. Colin wondered what the best strategy was for a situation like this but he didn’t have long to think, as the bed dipped again and Ryan slipped under the covers once more. This time he stayed well away from Colin and didn’t touch him at all.

Colin pretended to be asleep and gave it ten minutes before he turned on his back and looked over to Ryan and smiled slightly because Ryan was clearly pretending to be asleep. He got up and went to the bathroom to give Ryan some time to regroup and to answer the genuine call of nature.

When he came back into the room, Ryan looked up at him from the bed.

 

“Hey, I didn’t wake you, did I? I just had to go…” Colin said, pretending he hadn’t seen that the shower was wet and clearly had just been used.

 

“Yeah, but it’s alright, you said we couldn’t sleep in” Was Colin imagining it, or was there a faint blush

 

“No, no, you’re right, we best get going. The bill’s already been paid so we can just go. It’s a long drive to Toronto.”

 

“Why are we not flying?”

 

“You’re scared of flying, Ry”

 

“Well….maybe I’m not anymore…having lost my memory and all that…we could save quite a lot of time…”

 

“True but….what if you are still scared?”

 

“The flight won’t be too long, will it? Can’t we buy some herbal sedative? Or I could just drink….”

 

“I’m not sure Ry…..people will recognise you, and we have to tell your family first”

 

“You said I was divorced”

 

“You are, but you have children….they haven’t seen you in three years”

 

“Children? You didn’t tell me I had children…”

 

“You didn’t want to talk about it before Ry..”

 

“Will I have to go and live with them?” Ryan almost sounded like a little boy lost.

 

“Not if you don’t want to Ry, but I do think we need to contact them and tell them you’re alive. I’m sure we can explain why you’re not ready to see them.”

 

“Can you phone them now?”

 

“Er….” Colin hesitated. He remembered the harsh words that had been exchanged between Ryan, Pat and himself over the divorce and he certainly wasn’t on Pat’s Christmas list. He was sure she would not keep quiet about the relationship Ryan really had with him and that would be the end of his time with Ryan. But maybe speaking to Pat would bring back his memories, and then it would be worth it.

 

“I can try…I don’t know if Pat, your ex-wife, has changed her number though. And I don’t know if she’ll want to speak to me….Do you want to call her yourself?”

 

“No!, you speak to her and tell her you found me but that I’m….I’m…”

 

“Ok, I’ll phone her now…”

 

Colin pressed the button and after three rings the phone was answered.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Pat?”

 

“Colin?”

 

“Yes, please don’t hang up…”

 

“What is it Colin, it’s been three years..” Pat sounded resigned but not angry.

 

“Ryan is alive”

 

“I know Colin, that’s what you’ve been telling me for three years but..”

 

“No, he’s alive, he’s here, he’s ok I found him he’s lost his memory, he doesn’t know who he is, doesn’t know me, doesn’t know anybody, he can’t remember anything. I’m taking him to Toronto to a hospital” Colin knew he was talking a mile a minute but he felt that if Pat had a chance to interrupt him, she would demand for Ryan to be brought back to Bellingham and to have him checked out in a hospital there. But there was not a sound from the other end.

 

“Pat…?”

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry Colin, it’s just such a shock. Does he know about me? About the children?”

 

“Yes, I have told him he’s divorced and about the kids”

 

“Have you told him why he’s divorced?” a bit of steel crept into Pat’s voice.

 

“No….no, I didn’t….I….I was selfish, I didn’t want to scare him off”

 

Pat clearly hadn’t expected that kind of honesty from him.

 

“I see…Can I speak to him? “

 

“If he wants to speak to you, yes, of course, I’m not his jailer”

“Are you not worried I’m going to spill the beans on your dirty little secret?” there was a hint of disbelief and a little vindictiveness in her voice but Colin could understand it. And he hated himself for it.

 

“Of course I’m worried but it’s his life, not mine and maybe speaking to you will bring back his memories. He’s said he doesn’t want to see anybody until he has his memory back….doesn’t want to be a disappointment….can you believe this…for three years I thought he was dead and he thinks he’s a disappointment by simply being alive…” Colin felt a lump in the back of his throat and he was trying to force back the tears that were threatening to form….dammit, this is not an after school special, keep it together Mochrie!

 

Then Pat surprised him “Look Colin, it’s been three years since he disappeared, nearly 5 years after the divorce. It sounds harsh,and I don’t mean it that way, but I have moved on and so have the kids. If Ryan doesn’t want to see anyone, that’s OK, I will tell the kids that Daddy has been found but that he needs to rest. You take care of him the way you see fit and when he’s ready, let him call the kids..” then she hung up.

 

Colin looked at the phone in his hand as if it had sprouted wings and was about to fly off to never never land Well, I’ll be damned. Then he looked over to Ryan who had positioned himself in the farthest corner of the room, in one of the chairs. He was biting his nails and his legs were jiggling almost uncontrollably. Some things never change Colin thought fondly.

 

“Is she coming for me?” Ryan tried to sound tough about it but there was a clear hint of insecurity in his voice. As if the nail biting and the leg jiggling hadn’t been enough of a clue….

 

“No, she isn’t…she’s happy for you to come with me if that’s what you want. She will tell the children that you need to rest before they can see you. She also said that you could ring her whenever you wanted.”

 

Relief showed on Ryan’s face “Great!, Let’s go then..”

 

“You still want to fly?”

 

“Well, my family knows now, so even if I’m recognised, it won’t be a shock. I just want to get home…well, your place, you know.”

 

“If you’re sure…”

 

Colin phoned the airline and got seat on the next flight to Toronto. They made it to the airport in good time and Ryan never showed the slightest bit of nerves.

 

When they landed in Toronto, Ryan swore he would never get on one of those &$&$&% things again, no matter how much money he was paid. Colin agreed and silently cradled his right hand, which Ryan had held in a vice like grip as soon as take off had started. Colin supposed that overall, it was good to see that certain things never changed and swallowed a couple of pain pills,praying the feeling in his hand would return eventually.

  

Comments

[pdglyph.livejournal.com]

Ryan: Cough cough* scuze me I gotta go take care of something *cough cough*

That was delightful! And man... Pat's pretty much on my hit list for this story. Hells Bells even if I was her I'd still be thrilled beyond belief my kids would have a father, if only in name again!

Good stuff! More please!

[captanonymus.livejournal.com]

I know, as I was writing about Ryan's problem (I don't know the man but with hands like *that*, I'm not even going to try and call it "little") I imagined him doing exactly that :-) I realise I made Pat really evil in this tale, but I gave her a saving grace when she let Colin keep Ryan.... and fom the kids'point of view, the haven't seen daddy in three years and to all of a sudden see him as he is, a few clowns short of a circus....hm...emotional damage anyone? So, I think overall, pat is OK...in a hard-nosed-wouldn't want to meet you in a dark alley- way...

thank you very much for your two cents', you are on my christmas list..

<--- Commit this to memory!

[pdglyph.livejournal.com]

Do NOT get me thinking about that right now. My last beau had big hands like that... damnation...

Anywhoodlywho! Pat wouldn't want to meet me in a dark alleyway in this story, I'll make that plain a pixie dust right now! *laughs* Yeah, that would be quite the awkward heart-breaking moment, wouldn't it?

Re: <--- Commit this to memory!

[captanonymus.livejournal.com]

I know..... a previous companion of mine was vertically challenged but what he lacked in metres, he made up in centimetres....still was an evil little bastard though, and not very funny... anywhoo, I agree with you on Pat... I find it really difficult to write a "nice" Pat, don't know why, and I for one was very tempted to have her meet with a combine harvester.....but I couldn't see a way of slipping a combine harvester into the story without anybody going " What the hell is a combine harvester doing in...." yadayadayada, you know what I mean :-)

[ohbrie.livejournal.com]

You're back! :)
Loved the part from the morning wood to the four horsemen, obviously. I didn't at first understand why he would need 10 minutes in the shower, but then I thought "Ha! Deception!!!" and continued to smile happily. I'm also happy to see the old habits coming back, good and bad. Love the hand-grippage!
Colin is quite the hero in my eyes now. Or saint. And I have no idea what I would do in his place. Tough.
Please, continue. :)

[captanonymus.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it :-) and you are right, I gave Ryan 10 minutes in the shower to give him several options for when he came out :-) also, I could imagine he was quite confused/bothered/bewildered etc....many thanks for your comments, it's good to know what parts are enjoyed :-)