You could be happy - An addendum to my previous post

[captanonymus.livejournal.com]

 I was sorely mistaken....*this* is the point where two roads diverge in a wood.....
One will lead to death, the other to happiness.... I have, so far, received two nudges towards happiness but my muse will not go quietly and might have to be forcefully subdued.... we shall see.
For those of you who are well versed in the classics, extra points for spotting the odd bit of plagiarism!

Feedback adored...

The next day dawned and Ryan was exhausted. He hadn’t slept a wink. Was he doing the right thing? Maybe his timing was all wrong… Going over to Toronto and be in time for Colin’s birthday, his 50^th no less, had seemed a romantic thing to do when he thought of the plan but now it just looked damn stupid. The argument over Colin’s last birthday had caused them to split up, and here he was, a year later, still hopelessly in love with a man who might not even piss on him if he were on fire and he was going to surprise him. On his birthday. On his 50^th birthday. So, there would probably be a party. A big party. A party with all the people that had sided with Colin over their split and who, he suspected, made little Ryan voodoo dolls on their days off. Maybe I should rethink the whole plan, I mean, it’s not much of a plan anyway, maybe I could just ring him and tell him how I feel…..yeah, very heartfelt Romeo…you know what Col’s like, nothing if not a romantic, you need a big statement, sweep him off his feet…..God, why is this so hard……

 

He knew it was mainly nerves. Everybody always thought he was such a tough guy but really he was more like a little kid. Ok, a little kid with some serious anger management problems sometimes, hence the splitting up with Colin, but a kid nonetheless. With Colin’s birthday a little over a week away, he needed to get his act together. He had calculated that, if he were to average about 500 miles a day, it would take him just over 5 days to get to Toronto. It was now eight days until Colin’s birthday, so he should be there in time. He packed his car, checked his maps and last but not least, he ensured he had the two most important things he needed for this trip. The ring and The Letter or, as he liked to call them privately, Heaven and Hell. The ring was heaven because if Col accepted it, his life would be complete again. My god, when did I turn into this melodramatic idiot….sad sack, he scolded himself but he knew deep down how much it meant to him to get Colin back and if that made him more sugary than Ms Saccharine Sugar, living in Sweet Street in Sugarville, well, he’d just have to learn to live with it.

 

 

 

The other option was more realistic but also far less appealing. He had written Colin a letter in case the door was slammed in his face. He hadn’t had to think about it. As soon as he sat down, the words had come and within 10 minutes he had written down his regrets, his hopes and his apologies. It wasn’t high prose, but it was heartfelt and he was sure Colin would recognise it as such. If Colin refused to see him, he planned to leave him the letter and retreat gracefully to the nearest bar.

He patted his inside pocket and felt the two familiar items. He pulled them both out and put them on the passenger seat of the car. He looked at them for a minute and wondered how two such innocent looking items could represent, and produce, such a whirlwind of emotions.

He picked up the little box, opened it and stared at it. It was a very plain band made of brushed titanium and very different from the wedding rings they had both worn previously. He closed the box, put it back on the seat and reached for the letter. He took it out of the envelope and even though he had read it so many times he’d had it memorised, he read it again.

 

 

Dear Col,

 

If you’re reading this, it means you wouldn’t let me in. To be honest, I didn’t think you would. I’ve been such a bastard Col and you can’t imagine how sorry I am.

I drove down to see if there was any way you could forgive me and take me back.

I suppose I knew the answer before I left Bellingham but I had to try. I didn’t want to have to wonder “what if” for the rest of my life. I love you so much Col and I’ve been such an idiot.

 

I’ve bought you a ring. I was going to ask you to marry me if things had gone well.  I have been half agony, half hope for so long now, I couldn’t go on without trying one last time. I needed it settled once and for all. And now it has been.

 

I can’t blame you for not wanting me anymore, you’re an amazing, wonderful man and you deserve happiness. I hope that whoever is lucky enough to have your heart, will realise how fortunate he is and what a precious gift he’s been given. I was stupid enough not to and I will regret it more than you will ever know. I have loved no one but you. I may have been weak and resentful but never inconstant.

 

Yours,

forever,

Ry

 

 

 

He sighed. It would have to do. He refolded the letter, put it back in its envelope and put it under the ring box on the passenger seat. Right….that was it….he was ready. He took a deep breath, started the car and began what felt like the longest journey of his life.

Comments

[pdglyph.livejournal.com]

Wow, I can totally see where the character death side is going. And I must say, that against my better judgement, go that route. It would make the story that much better.

Just promise you'll give Colin closure before you finish the story :(

[pdglyph.livejournal.com]

Oh and I am thoroughly enjoying this :D

[captanonymus.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your kind words. I'd be most interested to see if we are thinking along the same lines regarding the character death. I have sevreal options, with a definite favourite in mind....

[captanonymus.livejournal.com]

Oh and did you have any success in spotting the blatant plagiarism?

[pdglyph.livejournal.com]

unfortuantely no, but then what might be obvious to you might be hidden to others

[captanonymus.livejournal.com]

True, I stand corrected....it might not be so obvious after all... I apologise. I may have sounded every so slightly pedantic but please rest assured that was never my intention... I suppose the words I've stolen have been a long-time favourite of mine, and they rather jump out at me...

[ohbrie.livejournal.com]

I agree with pdglyph. Character death seems appropriate here.
(I thought the saddest ending would be staying alive but not together though. Like arriving at Colin's only to realise it's too late and he's in love with someone else. Or suffering an accident halfway there and getting paralysed from the waist down PLUS biting his tongue off - Colin having no idea, of course. Then, out of hospital, Ryan's dilemma whether to send a letter to Colin to explain what happened or not, and deciding not to, because he doesn't need Colin's pity... etc, etc. My point is that you can still go several routes and not have a happy ending.)
Still loving the story! Can't waith to see what happens next.
May the muse be with you. :)

[birdlove.livejournal.com]

No no no! Happy endings rock! No one has to die, trust me. No paralyzing of gorgeous bodies, no biting off tongues, no plunging off a cliff into sure death.

How can they have hot make up sex and live happily ever after if you kill them off and might I say, all too easily if you ask me. Where's the remorse, the guilt, the letting me know exactly how bribable your muse is? are? whatever... I'm getting the sniffles and refuse to read another word of this wonderful saga until promised there will be none of the above.

[sungreen70.livejournal.com]

Ooh, character death? That freaks me... though there are definitely stories where it's the right ending for the particular story. Obviously you've already chosen your ending, since this was finished sometime ago, but being a latecomer to the party, I'm on the edge of my seat wondering how it's gonna go...

Until part three! :)

[captanonymus.livejournal.com]

:-) You are right, the story has concluded and it wasn't with the ending I thought it was going to have...I was *so* in two minds about this, it drove me crazy....but then when I sat down, it just wrote itself... (well, not really of course, but you know what I mean...:D) Thank you for leaving your two cents'!