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Sep. 12th, 2007 01:09 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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Title: Telling It Like It Is
Author: Odo (iamcrazyodo)
Paring: Colin/Ryan (hinting at future Greg/?)
Rating: NC-17
Summary/Author's Notes: Secret Summer Fic for her Highness, The Empress, who asked for angsty unrequited love Colin for Ryan, lots of frustration with a very hot happy ending. First fic posted since I came back to the fandom and I'm glad to finally be really back. Thanks for suggesting the challenge and all your hard work, Indy.
Flashbacks, "people talking", 'thoughts'.
Word count: 8,372 (whole story)
Crossposted to my own LJ and dedicated to
![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
And Colin thinks the view’s magnificent. Ryan’s body, towering over him, trapped between Colin’s hairy thighs, glows in the dim light coming from the open window. The sunset might not be much to look at today, but Ryan is. The hypnotic movement of his hips and the twitching muscles in his arms make shadows dance across his skin and Colin’s dizzy trying to follow them. His hands stroke up Ryan’s arms, over the shoulders and down his chest, pinching and pulling at the already hard nipples. His eyes finally meet Ryan’s dilated pupils and Colin can only stare, caught by the hungry, almost black, pools.
Ryan keeps driving himself deeper and harder into Colin with every push but his hand still strokes him slowly, inexorably towards completion. Colin thinks he’s going to die if he doesn’t come soon so he speaks. He says “more”, and “harder” and “harder” again and pushes back, and Ryan gives him what he’s asking for. His thrusts become shorter but more and more forceful. He’s stroking Colin’s prostate with every move, grazing it and sending sparks through every nerve ending in his body. Colin is so hard his vision is blurring. The sheets are bunched up in white-knuckled fists. Colin doesn’t think that bed has ever rocked that hard before. Sweat droplets from Ryan’s body are landing on his. The hand that isn’t holding his cock is roaming, caressing, moving from his thigh to his side to his arm and back down, and then back up again; full lips are kissing everywhere they can reach. The terrifying thought that he’s losing the battle crosses Colin’s mind but he’s almost too far gone to care. He bites his lip not to cry out Ryan’s name, a last attempt to save himself. Between the hard thrusts and the gentle hands – the harshness and tenderness a treacherous combination – Colin doesn’t think he’s ever been so thoroughly fucked. That’s when Ryan delivers the killing blow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I suspect he intentionally waited until I was most vulnerable to strike. That bastard!” Colin adds with a fond smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They are both so close. Ryan’s leaning on his elbow now, his hand holding onto Colin’s shoulder, fingers digging hard into the tense flesh. He stares into Colin’s eyes, unblinking, and speaks, the words almost coming out as grunts.
“I– love you,” Ryan says.
Although he says it over and over again, Colin barely has time to make sense of the words. Ryan thrusts in hard one last time and holds himself in as he comes deep inside his lover. Even through the condom Colin can still feel every twitch, every jerk. One more swipe of a rough thumb over the head of his cock, one last pull and he’s going over the edge, squeezing hard, wanting to keep Ryan inside him for just a moment longer.
For a few seconds, it’s pure unadulterated bliss and Colin thinks he can fly. The heat surrounding him becomes too much, his hard-earned control crumbling down like a pack of cards. It is with a strangled voice that he finally cries out his lover’s name.
“Ryan!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“The first thing I became aware of was that a heavy hand rested on my chest, one thumb gently stroking the skin underneath. Maybe he thought I was going to bolt, I don’t know. That would have required too much energy though; I wasn’t even sure I could move an arm, let alone my whole body.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colin can feel Ryan’s eyes boring holes in the side of his head but keeps silent, trying to catch his breath. He turns everything that has happened a dozen times in his head but still, he’s at a loss for words. All he knows is that he’s feeling good right now and doesn’t want to move. So he lets the silence stretch until Ryan finally breaks it.
“Colin?” Ryan whispers, his breath ghosting over the bald man’s skin.
“Mmm?”
“I love you.”
“Mmmm.”
“Just making sure you heard me.”
“I did.”
“Good.” Ryan’s hand rests proprietarily on Colin, lightly pulling at his chest hair. “Happy birthday, Col,” he adds, resuming his light caress, causing Colin to sigh contentedly. Ryan chuckles and leans forward to drop a few quick kisses on his chest, neck, chin, and last his lips. Colin finally opens his eyes to meet Ryan’s and smiles back; he knows that Ryan has meant every word.
Ryan makes a move to get up but Colin grabs his hand and pulls him closer. Everything else can wait. So he settles against Colin, one leg resting partly on his lover’s, arm casually thrown across his middle.
Colin waits until Ryan’s breathing has evened out before saying, “I love you too.”
“I know.” The reply is immediate.
Colin finds himself held tight, but he can feel a tension he hasn’t noticed before leaving Ryan’s body.”You fucking faker!” he says, laughing, earning himself an affectionate slap.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I couldn’t believe I’d told him and the world hadn’t ended. Hard as it was saying those words, owning up to my feelings for him lifted a huge weight I’d been carrying for far too long. It was incredibly liberating to finally tell him, and the more I said it, the easier it became.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colin has never realised just how much it has actually been weighing down on him until that oppressive feeling is gone. He suddenly feels lighter, almost giddy. And even though he’s convinced he should worry about their future together, with the world being so intolerant and close-minded as it always is, the reality of Ryan’s heavy arm around him tells him that somehow they’ll be okay and Colin is inclined to believe it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“That’s the story. You already know what happened next,” Colin says. “Are you all right? You look a bit red.”
“Blame yourself. That was graphic!”
“Well, I said I’d tell you the whole story,” Colin replies innocently.
“You just like talking about sex.”
“Everyone likes talking about it.”
“Not about yours! Urgh! I’d rather think about my own sex stories.”
“But you’re not getting any right now!” It was said without malice and taken as such.
“Thanks for reminding me, man!” He flipped him.
“Being serious for a minute here, I have to say that not a day goes by that I’m not grateful that Ryan made the first move. If it wasn’t for him, I’d still be wallowing in self-pity. I can’t make the decision for you, but I think you should talk to Greg.” He raises his hand, forestalling any objection. “I know it’s easier said that done, believe me; I didn’t have that courage so I’m not trying to lecture you. All I’m saying is take a chance on him. Maybe it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever done. If not, then he’s not going to stop being your friend, you know that.” He gives a little smile at the other man’s skeptic look.
“Greg never turns his back on a friend, least of all you,” Colin says like he’s stating a gospel truth. “If he can’t give you what you want, at least you’ll know it’s time to move on. I mean, what’s your alternative? Be miserable for the rest of your life because you’re too much of a coward to go for what you want? That’s not an option and you know it. Firstly because that’s very unhealthy, and I should know, but also because it’s not like you to wait for something to happen; you’re the guy who takes charge, who makes his own choices, his own life.”
They sit in complete silence for a while, Colin waiting to see if everything he’s said is finally sinking in. He doesn’t like seeing his friends unhappy, not when he thinks it can be avoided. He hears a loud groan and swearing and smiles at the dirty look directed at him.
“I’ll talk to him,” his friend finally says, putting his glass down and getting ready to leave. Colin’s grin gets bigger. “I have to go. Say Hi to Ryan for me, tell him I’ll call.”
“Will do.”
Colin walks him to the door, letting himself be pulled into a hug. “One more thing.” He waits until he has the man’s full attention. “You’ve got to be sure that’s what you want. If I know something about Greg, it’s that he doesn’t settle for bits on the side; he will NEVER be the next best thing. It’s all or nothing and you have to be ready for the shit to hit the fan.” Colin knows his friend understand he’s not referring only to the media coverage his and Ryan’s coming out got, but mostly to how their families and friends reacted to the news. “Now go, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t!” he said, laughing.
“I know you, Mochrie! I also know the man you live with. I don’t think there’s anything you two haven’t done!” Colin has the grace to blush through the smug look on his face. “See ya.”
Colin stands there watching his friend get into his car and drive through the opened gate before closing the front door and leaning on it. He takes a deep breath. “You can come out now, he’s gone.”
A short moment of silence. The creaking sound of an old door. Then Ryan walks into the room.
“You knew I was listening in on your conversation all along.” Ryan tries to look annoyed but only manages ‘slightly embarrassed at being caught’.
“I wouldn’t have gone into so much detail if it was just for him. I just thought it was time to tell you the whole story too.” Colin wraps his arms around Ryan who instinctively grinds into him. “Mmm. I think you liked it.”
Ryan chuckles. “That’s really a crap come-on, Col. He’s right though, that was very graphic.” Colin simply grins and waggles his eyebrows, making Ryan laugh. “You know I love you.” Almost a question. “I think it’s your dimples,” Ryan says, letting the back of his fingers brush Colin’s cheek.
Colin breaks off their embrace, turns Ryan around and pushes him up the stairs. “Let’s see if I can give you a better reason to be with me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unrequited love is undoubtedly making someone else somewhere else miserable and depressed. Colin is just grateful it isn’t him anymore. Despite so many muscles protesting the recent workout, he doesn’t think he’s been that relaxed in years. It’s gotten dark outside and Colin’s starting to feel peckish, but not enough to actually get up. Ryan has dozed off and Colin’s too warm and comfortable to move. He pulls the sheets up to cover them both, discarding the one with a wet spot. A thought crosses his mind. If this isn’t happiness, then it bears an uncanny resemblance to it.
Looking at the relaxed face of his lover, he has to smile. ‘Poor Ryan,’ he thinks to himself, remembering their first time, ‘you probably had no idea what you were getting yourself into.’ Colin wonders if he’s spoken out loud when a voice answers back.
“Stop thinking and sleep!”
The words spoken in that deep sexy voice, and the accompanying smile he can feel against his shoulder where Ryan’s head rests, get raised eyebrows and a chuckle from Colin.
“Fucking faker!” He laughs and drops a kiss on the unruly curls. ‘Maybe Ryan did know’ is Colin’s last conscious thought before sleep finally claims him.
END
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Date: 2007-09-12 06:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-12 07:06 am (UTC)Glad you really like it. *blushing*
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Date: 2007-09-12 08:31 am (UTC)Still diggin' teh ficeh
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Date: 2007-09-12 09:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-12 03:21 pm (UTC)Very happy you liked and that I helped make your day better. *still blushing and no sign of stopping*
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Date: 2007-09-12 04:21 pm (UTC)Thanks for suggesting the challenge and all your hard work, Indy. You're welcome! All the great fics make it always worth it. *smiles* And this was one of them- I really enjoyed reading it.
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Date: 2007-09-13 01:52 am (UTC)Glad you like the story. *grin*
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Date: 2007-09-12 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 02:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-12 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-13 03:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-14 03:26 am (UTC)*jaw dropping*
*eyes bulging*
*fingers grabbing the camera*
*compulsive clicking happening*
;P
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Date: 2007-09-14 11:13 am (UTC)at the finish line.....
Date: 2007-09-13 02:07 am (UTC)N E ways. I am again, honored, floored and overwhelmed at your creating this beautiful work and dedicating it to your Humble Empress of All Things Unrequited and Angst. If only life had the happy endings we create on page...sigh. Thank you so much for making one for them. They deserve it more than anyone else I know;)
Re: at the finish line.....
Date: 2007-09-13 05:18 am (UTC)There's no words to say how delighted I am that you like my Greg. I find him so tough to write but I love to do it. Also, angst is really the best when it all ends happily. ;D
I'm really glad you liked your summer fic. *blushing anew*
no subject
Date: 2015-03-20 06:24 am (UTC)