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[tammy-black112.livejournal.com]

Title: Ambivalence
Author: tammy_black112
Rating: G
Genre: AngstyFluff
Pairings Greg/Chip, Greg/Ryan
Summary: A Long Drabble, that for some reason goes against my OTP :(
Author's Notes: HUGE hug and thank you to alexrose1039 for being my BETA and my ..internet...buddy, Hope you like :)
(By the way, Happy Australia day!! ....for yesterday) 

When a normal couple are in love and one tells a lie

It’s like a hot summer day, perfect but not used to it’s full potential, then a lie is told and it’s ended by a humid summer shower, unexplained and unwanted

then continued, but with temporary yet obvious and annoying puddles in the wet soggy grass.


But a lie with us, Is like a sun beating down so damn hard that a hole is created in a layer and is known to everything under that layer but not the sun. 


People say the person they love replaces their fear with protection

We used to be one of those people, but lately everything Greg has said, has replaced my reassurance with doubt


People in love show that knowing everything about someone isn’t the same as invading their space, with me, I’m too afraid to.

But,

Love tells that, love isn’t just hoping, It’s knowing

I can’t hope anymore, because I know.


Because I saw it, something love should overlook and forgive

But it’s hard to remain realistic about love, or how it can “pull you through”, since it’s just barely pulling me past every time I see Ryan, or every time I see him and Greg in a show together without remembering what I saw from a slightly open dressing room door,

Yet a small confused annoying part of me was still happy just to see Greg


If an individual has lied to their “other half”, they should realise how guilty they feel and how much they love them and confess

I just try to ignore that he still hasn’t told me, and all either of us has learnt is that he is an impressive liar.


I don’t “die inside” when he just says in an hesitant voice, “Chip, I’m going out, k?”

And all do is nod and smile back

Or when the day after I get overloaded with sudden tenderness and passion because he’s on a guilt trip


And that slightly annoying part of me still feels a little warm every time he says I love you, in any structure or form, or the mornings when we’re still lying in bed together until the afternoon and haven't needed to say a word. At least I haven’t.

Because I’m trying to convince myself that he’s still the same and then wonder if he’s always been like this. 


I’ve often found that love has been described with cliché settings and soap opera lines, but realised you indeed “ Can’t find the words to describe what you’re feeling”

It’s been said that

Love whispers “Keep on fighting”, and

Hate shouts, “You deserve more”

And if that’s the case, 


I’m in love.

Comments

[sungreen70.livejournal.com]

This is very good... Chip's frustration and hurt really comes through. You also have a lot of nice imagery. I especially liked this: It’s like a hot summer day, perfect but not used to it’s full potential, then a lie is told and it’s ended by a humid summer shower, unexplained and unwanted

One small criticism: You might want to clean up the spacing. It was a little difficult to read. But, I really liked it! Hope to see more from you. :-)

[tammy-black112.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!

I know what you mean, i had no idea what to do with the spacing since it skips from one topic to another without a segway (...That's the right word..i think), i'll fix it up if/when i do another story :)

[alexrose1039.livejournal.com]

as you already know i LOVE this fic. awwww so cute ^_^ <3 <3 <3

[clayangel.livejournal.com]

The beginning of this is a little difficult to read with the structure of the sentences, but I really liked it. The further you get into it, the more fluid it is, and the end of it comes out really well. I particularly liked: "And that slightly annoying part of me still feels a little warm every time he says I love you" and "Because I’m trying to convince myself that he’s still the same and then wonder if he’s always been like this." You have a lot of good lines in here.