(FIC) In Touch

[iamcrazyodo.livejournal.com]

Title: In touch.
Author: Crazyodo
Pairing: C/R friendship but could be much more if looked at from a certain angle. ;-D
Category: Slightly angsty and possibly a tad melodramatic. Colin’s P.O.V.
Summary: I’m always the one calling; I don’t know why. I don’t want to.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. No copyright infringement is intended and no money made. It is all meant as harmless fun and my own way of expressing my love for those great guys.
Author’s note 1: This fic is dedicated to corliamat as thanks for being the first to welcome me into the community. And… Well, she did offer cookies.
Author’s note 2: This is the first fic I’ve ever posted (although not the first I’ve written). Not betaed. All comments will be taken in and given a warm hug (except flames which will rightly go to lower my heating bill – I do live in a cold country, you know).  Concrit is more than welcome. I’m thick-skinned so bring it on. Now, on to the story… 

In Touch

 

 

It’s been three months since I last heard his voice.

 

Three months since I’ve felt that warmth settling over me at a chuckle, a sigh, an “I miss you” said in that deep, rough voice that I find myself longing for.

 

Three months since I last called him.

 

I’m always the one calling; I don’t know why. I don’t want to; I want him to do it. But it’s always me. At least it’s been the last 5 times - more like 15, if I’m honest but I just needed to hear his voice, reconnect with my best friend, with the one I...

 

I’ve been on the road for so long now the days have blurred into weeks and weeks turned into months. Apart from a short break, not even a week, spent back home in Toronto, Brad has been my one constant companion. Brad’s a great guy and we get along really well and our friendship has greatly benefited from this dual act we’ve created. I guess we’ve gained a… deeper understanding of each other’s quirks and qualities, of who we are. He knows he’s not Ryan but… well, he’s an easy-going guy; fun to be around and work with. He might be a smart-ass but Brad understands there’s a time to joke around and a time to let me be. Like today.

 

It’s not always just the two of us tough. Chip has joined us for a few gigs, and Greg too. It was fun but when they left, it made this empty feeling inside worse than ever. By simply being there, they’ve made Ryan’s absence so much more real, more tangible.

 

More than making my career, Whose Line gave me the opportunity to work and spend time with him and that’s what I’m most grateful for. Now that the adventure is over, I realize I took for granted what I should have cherished. Between the British version of the show and the American one, I got complacent. I got so used to being with him I forgot that it could all end at any time; that it could be months before I saw Ryan again. I failed to realize that when it happened, I would miss him. Terribly.

 

Now…well, now I know I could have done more, said more. Minutes, hours, maybe entire days I could have spent in his company are forever lost to me.

 

 

I guess I’m in a brooding mood today. It’s my first evening off in nine days and instead of enjoying the last rays of a bright sun, I’m holed up in my motel room not wanting to see anyone. I just keep throwing the bedside table resentful looks.

 

They’ve all called. At some point. Brad talks to Wayne and Jeff more often than not, and I’ve had Drew on the phone almost every week. But Greg’s the one I hear from the most. He calls, he e-mails, he keeps in touch. I’m supposed to be Ryan’s best friend, right?

 

I don’t know how many times I’ve hoped coming out of a show that I would find a message waiting for me? Ryan doesn’t like computers but he has my number and I know for a fact he’s capable of using a friggin’ phone! 

…Three months! …Ninety-two days to be exact. …Maybe absence does make the heart grow colder. Maybe he doesn’t really miss me after all.

 

When Brad and I first started touring, I had to fight the urge to call him every day. I lost count of the numerous times I had my cell phone ready and caught myself a second before I dialled his number. This time, I wanted him to call me for a change, to need to hear my voice too. But…there’s no point in getting upset, this is after all as much a test for me as it is for him. Three months and I still haven’t called him! I guess I don’t miss him that much anymore.

 

I let the photo of us I carry in the pocket of my wallet fall next to me on the bed. It’s one of the early ones; we were still doing Second City at the time. We weren’t kids anymore but we still felt we had our lives ahead of us. I’d like to think those were simpler times. It’s not true, but I still miss them.

 

 

I grab the picture again. The edges are torn, proof of how many times it’s been handled. I don’t know how long I’ve been staring at it but it’s gone completely dark outside and I’m holding my cell phone to my ear. It barely rings once before I hear that deep voice once again.

 

He’s glad I’m calling; he meant to earlier; he’s been thinking about me. I don’t know that it’s really true but I find it doesn’t matter. I fall back on the bed, close my eyes and concentrate on his voice. I let his words wash away the worry, the dark thoughts, smoothing the edges of the emptiness wearing me down and suffusing it with warmth that spreads through my veins and awakens feelings long brushed aside but yet so vital in making me who I am.

 

Three hours…three months…same difference.  I don’t think I can miss him any less.

 

 

FIN

Hope you liked. Please comment.

 

Comments

[desiredeffect.livejournal.com]

Awwww. If I hadn't just spent about an hour watching something gut wrenchingly humorous I may have started to cry. But alas and alack I did not. Still I have to say your first fic in this fandom anyway was about a bazillion times better then mine. And thus I demand politely ask for more stories from you ;D

Hooray for new people!! Hmmm. Although I read your AN's and have to mention that Cae is a bit of a manipulator :P, LOVEABLE but a manipulator all the same.

... do I get a hug now? :D

[corliamat.livejournal.com]

Although I read your AN's and have to mention that Cae is a bit of a manipulator :P, LOVEABLE but a manipulator all the same.

I'd like to point out that I wasn't the only one to nag you about your fic so ner.

Um, don't take any notice of her Odo, *whispers* she's on medication.

[desiredeffect.livejournal.com]

LIES!

You manipulated me into writing it in the first place :D Though I never got cookies as part of the deal :(

[corliamat.livejournal.com]

oooooooh! I never did!!! *koff*

You'll have to wait for the cookies, they're in the oven.

Yesh, i'm one of those homely old mothers who bakes her own cookies lol. Don't tell.

[desiredeffect.livejournal.com]

I love cookies. They're the best!

I won't tell anyone if you don't tell anyone about my love for making self-saucing chocolate pudding. ;D

[iamcrazyodo.livejournal.com]

*whispering back* On meds? I'll keep an eye on her.

Are we whispering because she gets startled easily?

*going cross-eyed*

[corliamat.livejournal.com]

We're whispering cos its fun :D

Plus it sounds sneaky and makes us look interesting. mwaha!

[iamcrazyodo.livejournal.com]

Yay! You liked my fic! You, and I mean YOU, liked my fic! *is all giddy now*

You definitely get a hug for being the first to comment. And another one simply for asking so nicely. I could smother you with hugs right now.

Manipulator, you say. Okay, I'll keep an eye on her.

[desiredeffect.livejournal.com]

Yay hugs! *smishes you*

Ahaha. But now you're keeping an eye on both of us! :D Who to trust, who to trust. One wrong move and BAM, one of us is down on your like a tonne of ... hm... a tonne of something nice. Like chocolate! A tonne of chocolate ^^

[corliamat.livejournal.com]

Did someone say chocolate??? *perk*

[desiredeffect.livejournal.com]

NO. No-one said anyone about it! You're hearing things!

Go back to your foggy dreamland where Ryan and Colin are sharing saliva and sloppy kisses...

... can I come? D:

[iamcrazyodo.livejournal.com]

I second the request. Ry&Col definitely need keeping an eye on too.

*Definitely going crosseyed here* ;-)

Smothered by chocolate.... You tease, you!

Hugging back

[corliamat.livejournal.com]

Omigod! You better be doing a sequel where Colin gets squidgy hugs!!!!

Anyhoo, Loved this. I'm a bit of a sucker for introspective pieces, especially when they're as well written as this.

*Welcomes you with a round of apples* :)

[iamcrazyodo.livejournal.com]

OMG! You liked it too! *jumping up and down*

Well-written, she says. What amazing welcome I'm getting for my first fic! I simply can't believe it!

Thanks for the apples. *off to make a crumble* You wouldn't have some custard too, by any chance?

[sweet-miharu.livejournal.com]

Aww..Colin! *hugs*
This was just lovely! I really liked it, I love how it was written..^-^
Welcome! I look forward to reading more from you..^^

[(Anonymous)]

The whole time I wrote it I wanted to pet Colin.

So happy you liked it.

Here's your hug for commenting. And here's another one just for the heck of it.

*big grin*

[iamcrazyodo.livejournal.com]

Of course it's me.

The twit I am forgot to sign in.

[sungreen70.livejournal.com]

Oh wow...I really liked this. It was kinda sad, and struck me as possibly a very realistic description of Ry/Col these days. Very well written too. Welcome to the community and I hope to read more from you!!

[iamcrazyodo.livejournal.com]

Very glad you thought it sounded realistic.

I kept remembering the first time I saw them (Improv All-Stars). Ryan wasn't there and neither was Wayne, but Ryan's absence was really almost palpable and even though Colin did a lot that evening, when he wasn't playing, he seemed withdrawn. He sat next to Brad and barely said a word, with a half-smile that seemed plastered on his face most of the time. IMO, there was something inherently sad in his look/behavior that night. I'm definitely reading too much into it, as usual. ;-)

A big bear-like hug to you!

[indybaggins.livejournal.com]

This was beautiful! I also demand a sequel :)

[iamcrazyodo.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the praise. Here's a big hug for you.

Don't know about a sequel, I'll have to think about it.

That icon deserves another hug. There. ;-D

[clayangel.livejournal.com]

Oooooh.... you're good. You're very good. And I LOVED that. ^___^ Such a dark and calm feel to it. Absolutely lovely.