[identity profile] ryanmochrie.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] wl_fanfiction
Thank you [livejournal.com profile] zekkass for beta-ing and putting up with our grammer, or lack there of!

Title: Making The Family Skeleton Dance
Authour: [livejournal.com profile] krzcowzgomoo and [livejournal.com profile] ryanmochrie
Fandom: Whose Line is it Anyway?
Pairing: Ryan Stiles/Colin Mochrie
Rating: PG-13
Summary: It was easy to convince them they were, but harder to convince themselves they weren't.




"God damn it, doesn't anyone in this family knock?" Ryan growled. He was genuinely upset that they had been interrupted.

"Sorry, Ryan, but maybe you should, um, I don’t know, lock the door? Man oh man, I knew it!" the man on the other side of the door called triumphantly.

He, unlike the others, didn't even try to suppress his knowledge of Ryan and Colin as RyanandColin. He seemed extremely confident, and that's when Colin recognized him. It was Ronnie, the middle child. Now, one could call Ryan's jokes and comments outlandish and maybe even controversial, but you didn't know the meaning of the word until you meet Ronnie Stiles. The shortest of the Stiles boys worked as a morning talk show host for a radio station in Seattle. His show was known for its insane contests and, of course, Ronnie's many crude and often very politically incorrect antics.

Colin sighed, "It's nice to see you too, Ronnie. You just got in?"

"Yeah, my flight was delayed." he said, being civil enough to give Ryan a quick hug before starting up again.

"So it's true? You guys are doing the horizontal...or, in your case backwards, tango?"

Ryan looked like he was ready to sock his brother in the face, so Colin decided it would be a good idea if he took a turn giving the news.

"Yes, Ronnie, we're a couple."

He looked honestly taken aback. Yes, he had just seen them on top of each other in a rather intimate moment, but he'd seen worse. At Roger's wedding rehearsal Ryan had been having trouble with his belt buckle, so he pulled Colin into the coat closet and asked for some help. While he was fiddling with the belt, Colin's watch got caught on the snap of Ryan's pants.

Long story short Ronnie had opened the door to find Colin on his knees in front of Ryan, one hand dangerously close to his crotch, the other against his thigh and Ryan's pants about a quarter of the way down. There were countless occasions on which these oddities happened, and almost every time it was Ronnie who found them.

"Well spank my ass and call me an Asian hooker! I guess we gotta stop saying you're the fifth Stiles brother, cause that would just be incestuous and wrong!" he quipped, embracing Colin.

"I gonna go get settled in. You guys should come downstairs."

"Isn't everyone headed off to bed?" Colin asked.

"Mostly, but we're gonna have a little night cap with you, Ryan, me, Conner and Regina. Rich called, he won't be in ‘till morning and Roger’s already passed out in his room."

Conner was Ronnie's wife. She was a bizarre woman who had never really learned when to stop. It wasn't like she drank or partied; she just had the 'have to win, have to go on' nature about her. Conner was also short, and Ryan had always joked with Ronnie that he was the only Stiles brother who was even close to the height of his wife. But she fit Ronnie perfectly, her light brown hair matched Ronnie's dirty-blonde somehow perfectly, and her personality was a dead ringer for Ronnie's own.

"I dunno if we're gonna come down, it’s been a long day you know." Ryan said, faking a yawn.

Colin shot him a wary look. Ryan must have wanted to stay in the room. If what they had been doing before was any indicator of the night to come, it increased Colin's want to join the little after-party. He wasn't sure if he could trust himself to be alone with Ryan.

"Oh come on, Ry Guy, it sounds fun. We should all catch up.", Colin said, play pouting and working the lover bit to its fullest.

"I don't know. We’ve got an early day tomorrow. You'll have to deal with my entire eccentric family."

Colin moved across the room and wrapped his arms around Ryan's waist, burying his head in his chest.

"I’m a big boy, I can handle it...sweetheart."

Colin couldn't help but crack a smile when he saw the slight surprise in Ryan's eyes at the endearment.

"Alright, babe." Ryan relented, actually placing a kiss on the top of Colin's head.
Ronnie was laughing as he picked up his bags, "Wow, you're already whipped!"

Ryan picked up a pillow and tossed it at his brother, who ducked away and called out, "See you two lovebirds downstairs!" as he walked down the hallway.

Colin pulled his pants on, not bothering with a shirt, and tossed Ryan his. He stared intently at the younger man until he complied and slid the pants on.

Ryan turned to Colin, who was shaking his head in disbelief, "You sure you don't want to get to bed? I mean, it's getting late."

"Oh, jeez, just shut up and come on!" The older man nudged him forward and out the door.

Colin was afraid of staying in the same room with Ryan now, and he wasn't sure why exactly. He knew it had to do with their earlier antics, but he knew he shouldn let that get to him. They were only acting really. Left foot, right foot, Colin found that he was reminding himself how to walk, left foot, right foot.

"Reminding yourself how to walk there, love?" Ryan asked, confusing Colin temporarily. He hadn't realized he'd been saying that aloud, and stopped to wonder just what else he'd been saying.

"Uh, yes. It helps me concentrate..." He replied unconvincingly, hoping that just this once Ryan wouldn't see right through him.

"Alright then...." Ryan said, but didn't force Colin any further.

They entered the living room to a screeching cry of, "Get your ass off my ass!"

Ryan grinned at Colin. "Hey, Connie," He said teasingly.

Colin looked around to place the voice with a body, and found the body underneath Ronnie. As she'd said, Ronnie was sitting on her ass.

"Oh, damn. I'd thought you'd forgotten." she said, shoving her husband off of her.

Colin remembered her wedding day fondly, when the whole 'Connie' joke started. It was her mother's name, and she'd always been called that as a kid. None of the Stiles, or Colin, knew this; when her mother began calling her this at the reception a drunken Roger found it the funniest thing that her new husband’s name rhymed with her own.

They all knew that if Roger hadn't been so lit and so bloody hysterical, none of them would remember the joke today, but none of them could toss the image of Roger rolling dead center on the dance floor gasping for breath, all while sputtering "Connie and Ronnie!" over and over.

"I don't see why it would embarrass you. Only Rog should be embarrassed by it." Colin joked, and felt himself being pulled closer by Ryan.

"Hey! It's the incestuous duo, how's it going?" She seemed to acknowledge that they were actually in the room.

"Hey!" Ryan said, rather defensively. "Mine! Back off!" his voice softened lost its defensive tone, but the possessiveness was still there.

Conner raised her hands in mock surrender, "Who said I wanted him? You can have him!
"
"You're very bold," Ronnie said from the spot where he'd landed after he been thrown off of Conner, "You know how he gets with his belongings."

Ryan's hands tightened around Colin's arm, "Let's go get some drinks, anyone want something?"

"Ha! Backing down already!" Conner called.

"It's going to be a long night for you two, I see." Ronnie said as he stood up to lean against the couch.

Ryan just shook his head good-naturedly and walked Colin to the kitchen.

"Bring me a soda, Ryan!" A voice called from the other room, "No! Make that three," a pause, "or four!"

"Come on, we have to go through the closet to get to the ice." Ryan directed Colin through the awkward maze that was his childhood kitchen. "I always hated the cubed crap from the refrigerator. Dad keeps a cooler out in the garage though."

"So we have to go through the closet?" Colin asked, only slightly confused.

"Yeah."

Colin gave him a blank stare.

"I don’t know. Whoever designed our house was a moron."

Colin found it only appropriate for Ryan to have such an original childhood home. They trekked through the mess of the closet to the ice, and were coming back when Ryan declared, "You might want to watch your step, it's hard to navigate through here when it's dark," but it was too late, Colin stumbled to his knees.

Ryan chuckled when he noticed the familiarity of the situation. His mind went back to the closet at Roger’s wedding; giggling at the fact that if anyone walked in on them now, it would be expected.

As if on cue, Ronnie opened the door and called out to the others.

"I found them! They're in the closet!" He paused, "No pun intended."

"Uh, yeah." Ryan said, clearly becoming uncomfortable with his position and with Ronnie right there.

"Aw, it's not like they don't know," Colin kissed his 'lover's' stomach and got to his feet. "Besides, I think they need to deal." He said, surprised at how easy it was to play the role of Ryan's significant other, but he quickly shrugged it off, having no other choice to comply with Ryan as the younger man began to catch on.

Ryan leant down to capture Colin's lips in a quick chaste kiss, "Yea, I think you're right."

"Okay, you two know I don't mind the whole 'gay' thing..."

"You'd better not!" Regina interjected from behind them, "'Cause, Dad, if you did we'd have to have a talk."

Ronnie ignored her, obviously used to the playful chastising from his daughter, "but you need to cool yourselves. Again, no pun intended."

"Sure, Daddio, no pun intended." Regina said knowingly.

"Before you two begin to bicker, we'd like to get out of this closet, pun intended." Ryan pushed their way back into the kitchen, as Ronnie and Regina retreated back to the living room.
"And that makes three times tonight." Ryan said, pulling a bottle of soda from the fridge.
Colin's hand froze on the cabinet door.

He had hoped Ryan hadn't kept count of how many times they'd kissed during their little production. If he had kept count, maybe he had noticed how Colin had let himself enjoy them. In a way it would be good if he noticed... a voice whispered in Colin's head, but he brushed it off.

"Three times what?" he said, playing dumb.

"We've been "walked in on"," Ryan answered, using his fingers to put the last three words in quotes.

Colin breathed a sigh of relief, as he pulled a couple glasses from the over head cabinet. He was safe. For now... the same voice whispered.

"You boys better make that five glasses, and hold the soda for all, but one." Conner said, gliding into the room.

Colin was about to ask why, but Ryan seemed to know exactly what was going on as he chuckled and poured the one glass of soda. Ryan picked up the empty and full glasses and took them into the next room, followed by Colin and Conner. They all took their seats, Conner next to Ronnie on the love seat, their daughter in an armchair strikingly familiar to Lewis's favorite on The Drew Carey Show, Colin noted, and Colin on the couch facing the love seat, while Ryan ventured into the adjoining dining room and returned with a bottle of wine.

It figured they would drink tonight, even in the presence of youth. The thought prompted Colin's next question, while Ryan poured the wine.

"Hey, Regina, you said you were in art school, is it high school or college?"

"The Kilmarnock School for The Arts is a high school, and I'm a junior." the short brunette answered, with a touch of pride.

A junior. That would make her around seventeen. How nice to everything so figured out at such a young age.

"Regina is quite talented, she wants to write...and act...and do comedy." her mother added.

"A triple threat. Good luck, kiddo." Colin told her.

"I figured it would be a good idea to be well rounded, that way I wouldn't have to start my career in show business the way Uncle Ryan did, you know, strip clubs. And unlike him, I’m musically talented."

Ryan peered at his sly niece over the rim of his glass, as the group let out a collective oooo.

"Don't start...Reggie."

Regina looked indignant. "You're lucky you're my godfather or I'd have something to say to that." she quipped.

"Are you sure you would?" he asked raising an eyebrow, setting his glass down and edging up on his seat. Ryan was obviously planning something.

"Don't you think I would know?"

Regina rose to the challenge, as Colin caught on that they were playing an impromptu game of Questions.

"Should I know if you would know?"

"Do you know the way to San Jose?" she said, using Ryan's own frequently used phrase against him.

Next, Ryan fumbled out a question that sound like a mix of "where?" and "should I?". Regina saw her uncle's weakness and struck.

She blinked once, and cocked her head, bringing and bringing a hand to her ear, simply asked, "What was that?"

Ryan stared at her for a second before beginning to laugh. He threw his hands up in an I-give-up manner and sat back in his seat next to Colin.

"Fine, you win." Ryan said and put his arm around Colin.

"I always win, in case you forgot." Regina smirked.

This caused a round of "ooo's" from her parents, and Colin couldn't help but notice how much more mature she seemed than them.

Ryan just shook his head in a way that said 'I'm not getting into this'. Colin decided now would be the best time to cut in.

"So, Regina, why Scotland? Is what I’m wondering." He leaned into Ryan's embrace.

"I like it there. Initially when I went there it was because the school was so good, but it grew on me."

"Well, if you ever meet a 'Mochrie' family member while you're out there, you can say

"Hey! I know Colin!"." He joked.

"Well, actually, I can kind of say "Hey! I'm related to Colin!" Now can't I?" She pointed out.

For a second Colin had to stop and think about this, but then he realized what she was talking about.

"We’re not married." He said, and he could have sworn he heard Ryan mutter "yet".

"So, how did you guys get together anyway?" Ronnie cut in, "and dare I actually ask how long this has been going on?"

Colin shrugged, not sure of what to say. He turned to Ryan with, what would appear to others as a 'go ahead and tell them' look. In reality he was panicking, and the look was to let his pretend lover know.

------------

To Be Continued....

Date: 2006-06-20 11:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anoel.livejournal.com
Aww very cute. Love the closet moment(s) and pun. The kiss, touching and general possessiveness was great as well. Enjoyed the family moments and question game too. Can't wait to read more :)

Date: 2006-06-21 01:20 am (UTC)

Date: 2006-06-21 05:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slight-faith.livejournal.com
This is so cute, I love it. MORE! :)

Date: 2006-06-21 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] krzcowzgomoo.livejournal.com
working on it! thanks, mate!

Date: 2009-01-06 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cosmotastic.livejournal.com
Kilmarnock School for The Arts. Ahahaha. That killed me, and I'm sure you meant it to be serious XD I know late comment but that just amused me.
I'm from Glasgow and I've been to Kilmarnock and its pretty much crap :P

Anyway, yey, this story is so sweet. I'm hooked.
2 years after its written.. haha

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