Flight of Fancy part 6/11

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Flight of Fancy

By kalimyre

Pairing: Ryan/Colin

Rating: R

Category: First time, romance, AU

Summary: In which there is almost kissing and a hundred and one uses for melted chocolate.

Notes: Thanks as always to clayangel, who made this happen in the first place, indybaggins, who made me want to write more, and anesthesiagirl, who said fondue was sexy and made my day.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five

Part 6

Colin finished off his day of presentation feeling exhilarated, rather than drained. Ryan had joined him for two more shows, once on stage in another volunteer bit, and once from the audience, in the form of teasing suggestions. Jamie noticed the second time, and started forward, a fixed expression of politeness on his face, intending to usher Ryan out before he could disrupt the show. Colin waved him off, and although Jamie lingered worriedly, he left after it was clear that Ryan was helping the show, not hindering it.

Jamie caught up to Colin as he was washing up after his final presentation--a spot earlier in the day had involved pasta sauce and Ryan had spattered a bit on him “accidentally” as he waved a spoon around. Colin had frozen, sputtering, and Ryan had just stood and watched him, smiling smugly and licking a dab of sauce off the spoon. Ryan said something about how it was pretty good, but he wouldn’t recommend it as a fashion statement, and they’d moved along to more laughter.

Still, his shirt would probably never recover, but Colin didn’t mind. It wasn’t really his shirt anyway, just the one that Jamie had decided on for the day. He tended to like warm, muted colors, not the bright flashy things Jamie chose, but he went along, because he always did.

“Colin, buddy, you were great today,” Jamie began, and Colin sighed, focusing on getting the sauce out of his knuckles. He waited a beat, and there it was--“But,” Jamie continued, “what was going on with that... friend of yours? I thought you said he wasn’t giving you any problems.”

“He’s not,” Colin replied evenly. He grabbed a towel and turned to face Jamie, leaning back against the sink. “We were just having some fun.”

“He was interfering with your presentation.” Jamie folded his arms, his brow furrowed, and he seemed to search for words. “Look, I know it’s been a long tour. I know you’re under stress, which is why I offered to get you some time off after the conference, and why I didn’t mind you having your friend over. I’m willing to give you some leeway here, but bringing him up on stage? It’s... well, I hate to say this to you, but it’s unprofessional. And I’ve never known you to be that, Colin.”

Colin looked down for a long moment, biting back his first reply. He didn’t often get angry, but he was beginning to realize that he’d resented Jamie’s control for a long time. “How were the numbers?” he asked pointedly. “Good, weren’t they? And didn’t we draw a crowd? Didn’t we keep them happy? Didn’t we sell, which is the whole point, isn’t it?”

Jamie reached for him, as if to lay a hand on his arm, but withdrew when Colin leveled a warning look at him. “Colin... I don’t understand. Why is this upsetting you? I’m only trying to look out for your best interests.”

“No,” Colin said tiredly, “you aren’t. You’re looking out for the company and you always have. Sure, you want me to look good, so I can make them look good. It’s all appearance, all salesmanship, all...” He trailed off, shaking his head. He couldn’t quite find the right words for his frustration with it, the flimsy façade, the constant focus on surface impressions, the mask he had to put on. He couldn’t even stay angry with Jamie, not when he knew he was just as much at fault. He’d let it happen, after all. Always going along, doing what everyone else wanted, and hadn’t he told Ryan to cook for himself first? Make what you like, not what everyone else thinks it should be. Apparently he’d forgotten to take his own advice.

“Time off,” Jamie said. “That’ll make you feel better. I really, really need you to finish the conference, but after that, I promise. I’ll work something out, push your other spots back, we’ll get you some time. You’ll feel like yourself again.”

Colin looked at him, at his worried smile and wide, hopeful eyes and sighed. Jamie meant well. He always did. On some level Colin understood that things needed to change, but the thought was scary; he’d worked so hard to get where he was and maybe he wasn’t always happy with it, maybe there were compromises, but to contemplate giving it up? What would he do, if he wasn’t doing this? He’d told Ryan he had no other skills and it was true, and he felt too old to start a whole new career. Maybe he’d waited too long.

“Colin?” Jamie reached for him again, and this time Colin let him, allowing the weight of Jamie’s arm around his shoulders.

“I’m going back to the hotel,” he said. “We can talk about this tomorrow if you want.”

“There you go, that’s a good idea,” Jamie said, sounding relieved. “Get some rest, relax, have that pilot friend of yours over again if it makes you feel better. You really did do good today, and... well, okay, the thing with that guy was... it was unplanned. You know I like to have everything worked out ahead of time. You can’t just make stuff up like that, change things on the spur of the moment. But maybe, with advance notice, you two did do pretty well, and I have to admit the numbers were good. Maybe he can come back, but I want to know about it.”

Colin laughed softly, because of course that’s what this was about. Jamie not wanting to lose control. “Sure,” he said. “I’ll let you know. But for now I need your help with something.”

“Anything I can do, you know that. Don’t I always say so? Sure I do. What did you need, buddy?”

“Supplies.” He still had a cooking lesson to give tonight, after all, and he didn’t have the time or the energy to get everything they’d need. Jamie had told him time after time that he only needed to ask if he wanted something, and Colin had decided it was time to take him up on that offer. So he rattled off a list and Jamie wrote it down industriously and promised to have everything to the room within the hour. Colin watched him bustle off and felt a little guilty, ordering him to run errands like that, but he told himself that it was Jamie’s job, after all.

“Hey.”

Colin smiled and turned, looking up at Ryan. “You found me.”

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, you kind of disappeared after that last show.”

“I had to wash off pasta sauce,” Colin said pointedly and Ryan grinned.

“Oh yeah, that.” He tried to look sheepish and failed completely. “So, um... are we still doing a lesson tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ve got some good ideas for that,” Colin said, heading for the exit. Ryan fell into step beside him, close in the narrow hallway, and Colin was tempted to lean over. Maybe Ryan would put an arm around his shoulders and he’d slip his own around Ryan’s waist and there would be warmth and strength all along his side, comforting after the difficult talk with Jamie and the questions it had raised for him. But Colin didn’t quite allow himself that; maybe because he didn’t want to scare Ryan off, and maybe because he didn’t trust himself to let go once they were on the busy street.

So they walked back to the hotel in easy silence, arms brushing together every so often, and it had to be enough.

~~~

Colin flopped on the couch as soon as they were in the room and put his feet on the coffee table, one hand flung over his eyes. He heard Ryan moving around, opening cupboards, and he looked up when something cool and smooth pressed into his hand. Ryan held out a glass of water, ice cubes clinking inside, and Colin accepted it with a smile.

“Thanks,” he said, taking a long swallow.

“Sure.” Ryan sat next to him, putting his own feet up. Colin indulged himself, just a little, and allowed his shoulder to rest against Ryan, soaking up the warmth. Ryan either didn’t notice, or did a very good job of pretending not to.

“Did I get you in trouble?” Ryan asked, and Colin was close enough to feel the low rumble of his voice.

“Nah,” he said, waving a hand dismissively. “Why, did you think you would?”

Ryan shrugged. “Seemed like your... assistant, or whatever he is, he looked a little pissed with me. Plus he told me I should quit hanging around.”

Colin straightened, his feet landing on the floor with a thump. “He did? When was that? Is that why you weren’t there for the last show?”

“Yeah,” Ryan admitted, nodding. “Sorry, I wanted to be there, but he was saying a lot of stuff about it being disruptive and how they had a plan and I wasn’t on it and I needed to back off and let you work. I didn’t want to get you in trouble, and I didn’t want to lose my contract with your company either.”

“He said that? He told you it would mean your job if you didn’t stop?” Colin could hear his voice rising, and Ryan looked a little alarmed, resting a placating hand on his shoulder.

“No, nothing like that. He was nice about it, asked me politely to not screw things up, just in prettier words, you know. But I figured I better not rock the boat.” Ryan’s thumb was stroking his shoulder a little, seemingly without Ryan being aware of it, and Colin allowed himself to be calmed.

“Well... he still shouldn’t have told you to stop. That’s just Jamie being a control freak, though, and please don’t worry about it. I’d raise hell if they tried to drop your contract because of this. Besides, Jamie cornered me after the shows and tried to give me the same lecture and I talked him around. There shouldn’t be a problem with you coming back on stage tomorrow.” Colin gave a little shrug, dipping his chin. “I mean, if you still want to. I thought it was fun.”

“I thought so too,” Ryan said, and then stretched dramatically, allowing his arm to land over the back of the couch, just above Colin’s shoulders. It was the oldest trick in the book and Colin got the feeling Ryan knew it; coming from him, it was a joke, a tease to see who could keep a straight face the longest.

“That’s what we should do.” Colin leaned back, letting his head rest against Ryan’s arm. All very casual and easy, but it felt like every move was deliberate, a precise step to a dance he wasn’t sure he remembered. “We should form our own company. We’ll take turns flying once I learn how, and we’ll put on shows together. We’ll travel the country being the cooking odd couple.”

“Does that make me Felix?” Ryan asked, and his arm curled just enough for his fingertips to brush Colin’s opposite shoulder. Barely tangible warmth through the sleeve of his shirt and Colin had to focus on being still, on not pressing into the contact.

“Was he the neat one?”

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, Oscar was the slob, but he was also kind of a celebrity, so that’d be you.”

“No, no, that doesn’t work at all. Besides, if we’re both on stage, we’re both celebrities. You’re definitely not the neat one.” Colin elbowed Ryan lightly in the side, then let his arm rest there, his hand partly on his leg and partly on Ryan’s.

“That’s probably true,” Ryan said musingly. “I mean, you’re the one with a matching set of Tupperware and a little food bag that you carry everywhere. I was surprised you didn’t have linen napkins folded like a swan.”

“I only bring those when I fly first class,” Colin replied loftily.

“Excuse me? You are flying first class.” And Ryan’s voice held just the right note of indignation, but his hand curled a little more, the palm on Colin’s shoulder now, fingertips reaching to his collarbone and skating just above the collar of his shirt. Colin closed his eyes briefly, feeling the skin all the way down his back prickle into goose bumps.

“Right,” he agreed, and found he had no sarcastic rejoinder to add. So he stayed quiet, spreading the fingers of his right hand just a little, testing the texture of Ryan’s jeans and the skin beneath.

“Right,” Ryan echoed after a pause, both confused and pleased. He fell silent then and Colin allowed himself to daydream a little, his eyes half-lidded, breathing deep and steady. He’d been mostly joking about quitting and the two of them flying away together, doing a two man show, but it was a fun idea to play with, to imagine. Ryan was warm and solid at his side, and his long limbs felt loose to Colin, relaxed and natural. It was easy to sit like this and think of foolish, impossible things and imagine they could actually happen. Easy to be with Ryan.

The pads of Ryan’s fingers were soft, smooth, barely moving along his shoulder and collar. It was almost enough to tickle, but not quite. The touch was warm, and the heat lingered, seeming to sink beneath the skin. Colin thought maybe this had started as a game, Ryan playing around with him, seeing who could keep up the pretense longer, but somewhere along the line it had changed. Now, if he were to turn his head suddenly and press a kiss to Ryan’s knuckles, he wasn’t sure if Ryan would draw back, laughing and conceding defeat, or if he’d trace Colin’s jaw with one hand and steer him close, and he’d be there, right there, eyes dark and intent and lips slightly parted and then he’d lift Colin’s chin to just the right angle and...

Colin jerked when there was a knock on the door, and Ryan pulled his hand away quickly with a sharp indrawn breath.

“I’ll get it,” Colin said, a little surprised at his own voice coming out so... debauched, he supposed. If anything could sound that way.

Ryan nodded, looking down, and Colin could see him blushing, biting his bottom lip. Colin smiled as he went to the door, but it slipped away when he saw Jamie standing there, bags in hand.

“Jamie,” he said evenly, and stepped aside to let him in.

“I brought all those supplies you wanted,” Jamie said, setting the bags on the kitchen counter. He turned back to look at Colin and caught him watching Ryan, who was still sitting on the couch. When Colin met his manager’s eyes again, the other man was giving him an appraising stare. Colin wondered if what he’d almost been doing showed on his face. His skin felt overheated, his stomach fluttering and his chest tight and he’d never had a very good poker face. Jamie had to know. It had to be obvious just from the feeling in the room, the careful, loaded quiet.

“Thanks,” Colin said after a long moment. He opened his mouth again, wanting to tell Jamie to back off his friends, to tell him he had no right ordering Ryan around and keeping him off the stage, but he swallowed the words. Ryan was still in the room, and arguing about it now would only embarrass him; besides, Colin didn’t want to have another of those go-nowhere discussions with Jamie right then, the kind where he said something and Jamie glossed it over and told him it was fine.

“The fondue pot is on loan from KT, so bring it back in the morning, okay?” Jamie asked, apparently deciding to blithely ignore whatever he’d interrupted. “I got everything else you wanted, except there weren’t any fresh blueberries. Wrong season, sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Colin replied, poking through the bags. “This looks good. I’m not on until eleven tomorrow, right?” He turned toward Jamie, tilting his head questioningly.

“Yes, eleven, though of course I’ll be here about an hour prior with your clothes for the day and to go through the arrival process, plus prep for your shows.” Ryan approached the counter, looking at the food curiously, and Jamie faced him, putting on a neutral face. “It’s Ryan, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Ryan said, nodding. He looked just as artificially polite as Jamie, but he didn’t do it so easily. Jamie had far more practice.

“Colin has asked that you appear on stage with him again tomorrow. I hope you understand when we spoke earlier, I was only trying to preserve the shows as they were originally planned. I just ask that you both be careful tomorrow; some of the things you said today were a bit... off-color.”

Ryan’s eyes crinkled a little at the edges. “Were they? I couldn’t tell.” Colin bit his lips to keep from smiling.

Seeming to understand that he was being teased, Jamie shifted uncomfortably, tugging the bottom of his shirt to straighten it. “Yes, well. Just bear that in mind. Colin, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“See you,” Colin replied easily. He opened the door for Jamie and then closed it behind him, turning to grin at Ryan, who was pulling things out of the bags with increasing interest.

“Fondue?” Ryan asked, poking the pot uncertainly.

“Sure. It’s easy to make, versatile, and always a crowd pleaser. We have a fondue show tomorrow, so I figured this would be lesson and practice in one.” And it was amazing how easily that rolled off the tongue--we have a show tomorrow. We.

Ryan pulled out a large block of chocolate and eyed it speculatively. “You really can’t go wrong with melted chocolate,” he said. “A hundred and one uses, right?”

Colin thought in the week he’d known Ryan, he probably blushed more than he had in the past six months. “Right,” he said after a moment. “But that’s for dessert. Let’s start with the most basic fondue, bread and cheese.” He pulled a small loaf of bread out and laid it on the cutting board. “Here, you’re going to do it. Any crusty French or Italian bread will work fine, although the baguette is traditional. Make sure you get some crust in every piece you cut, because it’ll help keep the bread on the fondue fork.”

“Okay,” Ryan said, pulling a knife from the silverware drawer. Colin took it from his hands before he could use it, though, and exchanged it for a proper bread knife. “Oh,” Ryan said, looking at the blade. “It’s like all the different kinds of forks, right? Except for cutting.”

“Something like that,” Colin replied, smiling. He watched Ryan cut the first few slices and then stopped him again, resting a hand over his wrist to hold him still. “Okay, that’s pretty good, but let me show you a different motion. See, what you’re doing is tearing the bread and leaving it ragged. It still tastes just as good, but cooking is half presentation.”

Ryan nodded, looking a little discouraged, so Colin stood at his side and put a hand on each of his. “Follow me,” he said, and carefully guided Ryan’s hands, cutting the bread in a long, smooth motion, letting the sharp blade do all the work.

“Oh,” Ryan said softly. Colin could feel him breathing, their sides pressed together, his palms fitting neatly over the backs of Ryan’s bigger hands. He curved his thumbs down around Ryan’s wrists and found his pulse, strong and just a little fast.

“I think you’re getting it,” Colin told him.

Ryan turned his head slightly, and his cheek brushed Colin’s hair as he spoke. “Yeah,” he said. “I think I am.”

Colin pulled his hands back and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to soothe the tingling skin. “Um. I’ll, uh... I’ll start the cheese sauce.” He put a clove of garlic on the counter and peeled it quickly, then cut it in half. “Here, this is something you might not have seen before,” he said, and showed Ryan how to rub the inside of the pot with the fresh cut garlic. “See, it adds a very subtle taste, and it also acts like nonstick coating, keeping the cheese from burning to the pot.”

“Huh.” Ryan copied his motion with the other half clove, until Colin corrected him again, holding his hand and steering.

“Slowly,” Colin said, feeling Ryan’s breath on the side of his throat. “Small circles. Don’t squeeze too hard, or you’ll mash the garlic and the flavor will be too strong. Be gentle with it.”

“Gentle,” Ryan echoed, a laugh just beneath his voice.

“Yeah.” Colin swallowed and let go, taking a deep breath of the garlic scented air. “Okay, that’s enough. You go ahead and finish the bread, but watch what I’m doing.”

Ryan paid close attention as Colin put dry white wine in the pot, bringing it to a simmer. He mixed a little cornstarch and some kirsch liquor, which was like a cherry brandy, in another bowl, then set it aside. He added the cheese next, explaining how the Emmental and Gruyere complimented each other. It was a gradual process, allowing each piece to melt and be fully stirred in, and by then Ryan had finished with the bread and was stealing nibbles of the cheese. He also tried a little of the kirsch and quickly spat it in the sink, while Colin laughed.

“We’re eating that?” Ryan asked, wiping his mouth.

“It’s like cooking sherry or baker’s chocolate,” Colin told him. “It doesn’t taste good by itself.”

“There’s an awful lot of alcohol in this recipe,” Ryan said, sniffing the wine bottle cautiously but not trying a taste. It was Fendant, a Swiss wine, and it wasn’t that bad to drink, but it was ideal for fondue.

“A lot of classic recipes use alcohol, and this is so rich, with the bread and the cheese that it needs something a little sharp to set it off. Besides, the actual alcohol content is quite low. You’d have to eat an insane amount of fondue to feel any affects from it.”

“Hmm. Too bad,” Ryan said, and Colin poked him in the side.

Once all the cheese was melted, Colin stirred the cornstarch and kirsch mixture again and added it slowly. Ryan took up the big spoon and moved it in circles in the pot, but Colin slipped a hand over his again and directed him in a zigzag pattern. “To keep the cheese from balling up,” he said, and he supposed he could have just told Ryan that without holding his hand, but really, why should he deny himself the little pleasures?

They gave it a few minutes to thicken, and then Colin arranged the pot over the small flame to keep it warm and they took it to the table, settling down with their bread and long fondue forks. Colin watched Ryan take the first bite, his head tilting back and his eyes closed, the tip of his tongue slipping out to swipe a drop of the dip from the corner of his mouth. “Good?” Colin asked, although the expression on Ryan’s face had already answered for him.

“Mmmm,” Ryan said, nodding. “S’great.”

“And you helped make it,” Colin pointed out, taking a bite himself.

“Must’ve had a good teacher.” Ryan smiled slyly at him and Colin ducked his head, grinning.

“Must have,” he agreed.

They polished off the bread quickly, and the sliced meats that Colin brought out next were soon gone as well. Ryan washed the last bits of cheese from the pot as Colin laid out the fresh fruit, smiling when he saw the mango was just perfectly ripened, more orange than green and soft to the touch, giving a little beneath his fingers.

“So,” Ryan said, coming up beside him and dusting his hands together. “What did you have in mind for the chocolate?”

And Colin smiled.

~~~

On to part 7