FIC: All I Ever Wanted

[ally-pops.livejournal.com]

Hello again :)
One of the near ending chapters now, I am thinking. The obvious has happened. And I think the ending is obvious, too, according to my sources. *raises eyebrow*
Enjoy! I hope it's ok. I was a tad worried about this one, although I don't know why!
Title: All I Ever Wanted
Chapter:5
Pairings:Ryan/Greg, Ryan/Colin and maybe Colin/??
Disclaimer:Not mine, etc. Also this is entirely fictional and not meant to slander anyone mentioned, Ryan, Greg, Colin or wives.
Rating:Tis kissing. So 12? No idea.
Beta'd: Well Kathleen checked it over as did Rosalyn. :) Thanks guys!

Chapter 5
Greg practically ran home. Taxis were impossible to come by in London at this time in the morning; commuters and workers took care of that. Even if he could have grabbed a taxi, the traffic would have slowed him down immensely. Greg was quicker jogging. Running as quickly as he would allow himself- his heart was willing him to run a thousand times quicker. But his lungs and his mind told him to slow down- and Greg knew that they were the more sensible in his body.
He was rushing to get home to Ryan to tell him how he felt- he had waited long enough for something to happen between them. Remorse washed over him as he remembered all of his years in college. All that time that they weren’t together. They had been so confused, but now, now they could finally be together…
He slowed down to a halt. What if Ryan didn’t feel the same way? What if the kiss in college was just an experiment? Colin had talked him into this, guaranteeing Ryan loved Greg, but what's to say he wasn't wrong?
He stood still in the middle of the pavement. A mix of emotions tumbled around in his stomach, panic and nausea, but also hope and love. He had to tell Ryan how he felt. He just hoped he would feel the same.
The air was mild and the clouds were low in the sky. The little of the sky that was showing was brightest blue, however, and Greg felt a little more elated as he turned around the corner. He made himself laugh, almost- the confident, sarcastic Greg Proops was nervous. Ryan’s house came into view and Greg sprinted towards the door. He reached it quickly, pushing it open and tumbling into the hallway.
“Ry? You here?” His voice sounded scared. And how out of breath he was. He made a mental note to go to the gym sometime soon.
Ryan’s lanky frame appeared at the top of the stairs. He was wearing the trousers he had gone out in last night and nothing was covering his torso. He was wet, like he had just got out of the shower, and his hair was sticking up at odd angles.
“I’m here.”
Greg sighed in relief. Ryan bounded down the stairs until he reached Greg. He stopped, unsure of what to say or do, of how to convey what he wanted to tell Greg the most.
“Greg-“
Greg pushed Ryan against the wall and kissed him full on the mouth. He was crushing Ryan’s lips, pressing hard to tell Ryan all that words couldn’t- how much he wanted him, how much he needed him. He felt Ryan’s shock melt away as he continued the kiss just as forcibly, returning the message. His heart started to swell. Ryan’s tongue cheekily parted Greg’s lips, gliding over his tongue and cheeks and teeth. Greg loved the feel of Ryan’s hot tongue, leaving nothing untouched in his mouth, and he did the same- he thrusted his tongue into Ryan’s mouth, circling it and exploring it. Ryan brought his tongue to dance with Greg’s, and they melted into each other’s arms.
Greg broke the kiss, even though every nerve in his body protested. He hit Ryan’s arm lamely
“You dick,” he whispered. Tears started to run down his cheeks silently. Tears for all the years in college when they needed to be together but were too scared to say. Tears for the last few days. Tears for Ryan’s ridiculous disappearances. Tears of relief for as they finally broke the barrier that had been between him and Ryan for so long.
Ryan’s long finger wiped the tears away. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered into Greg’s ear, bending down slightly to do so. His breath tickled Greg’s neck. “I know how unbelievably stupid I am, Greg- but I love you.” He kissed Greg again, but softer. He caressed Greg’s slightly swollen lips slowly, savouring the taste of his mouth, and found tears leaking from his own eyes. Greg put his hands around Ryan’s waist and broke the kiss. He leaned into Ryan’s strong arms, wanting nothing but a loving hug- which Ryan gave him with all his heart.
They stood in the hallway, embracing tightly, crying slightly, but together finally.

*
Three hours later
The doorbell rang. Greg skipped down the hallway to answer it.
“Hey! Col!”
Colin stood in the doorway, with a box of tissues in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other.
“I didn’t know which I would need,” he explained sheepishly.
Greg took the box of tissues out of Colin’s hand. Colin frowned.
“I’m so sorry, Greg-“ Greg threw the box of tissues over his shoulder and pulled Colin in to a tight hug. Colin relaxed his tense muscles.
“Come on then!” Greg cried, pulling away and dancing up the hall. “I want some champagne!”
Colin grinned and pulled the door closed, following Greg into the kitchen.
“So you’re- together?”
“Yep!” Greg nodded proudly whilst grabbing three glasses from the cupboard.
Colin smiled, if not a little sadly.
Greg didn’t seem to notice.
“We’ve talked a lot today- about Ryan’s faults- which there are one hell of a lot of!- about my faults,” he rolled his eyes, “and about our situation. I mean, we are both married men on television, this won’t be good for the public eye or our wives. Let alone how crazy our fans would go!”
“What are you going to do?”
“Well, me and Jen are separating- I've spoken to her. We were never that close anyway, and she is relieved, to be perfectly honest. I mean, we were strained. I moved out because of an argument, that shows how strained our relationship was. She wasn’t happy- it’s the best for both of us. She can move on.”
He paused, looking at his hands. Colin let him have a moment of remorse, before pushing him on.
“And Ry?”
Greg looked up.
“Ryan hasn’t actually been with Pat for a while. He loves her so much, Col-“ was that a hint of jealousy in his voice? Colin wondered. “- but he’s told me that he loves me more. And she has been sleeping with another man,” he added.
“What?”
“Well- Ryan met Pat in college, they both took Chemistry. She took no notice of him then. She wasn’t even talking to him when he dropped out. But when he started to get a bit better known in America for his improvisation, she rang him out of the blue. Ryan, being the gullible dick that he is, thought that she had come around- and when she told him she had loved him all along, he was won over. They married within the year. But it turned out that she only married him for the potential he showed, she knew he was going to get money! She was sleeping with another man- and she got pregnant.”
“No way!” Colin gasped. It was like a flipping soap opera in his eyes.
“Yep.” Greg nodded sadly. “Obviously Ryan thought the child was his, and when Sam- the child- was born he was overjoyed. But Pat told him that he wasn’t the father. Broke his heart. They only remained together because Ryan refused to stop paying Pat money for Sam’s upbringing. The father scampered soon after Sam was born and Pat would have been left a single mum with no house. Ryan loved her too much for that- he even loved Sam too much to see him hurt. He still pays a huge amount over to America for the mortgage, and for Sam.”
Colin didn’t know what to say. Ryan had always seemed a bit selfish, he thought- this morning was a prime example. But know he understood why. And if you couldn’t be selfish with your best friend sometimes, what could you do?
“Don’t tell him I’ve told you, though.” Greg shook his head. “He’s going to tell you himself. In his own time. Don’t think he doesn’t want to,” he added. “But he doesn’t want to see anyone hurt. He loves you, Col.”
He shook himself over and grabbed the champagne and the glasses and started towards the front living room. “Coming?”
Colin nodded and followed mutely.

“Ry! Col’s here!”
“I heard,” Ryan chuckled. “What were you two women chattering about in the kitchen?”
“Nothing, really- just stuff.” Greg flushed. “About his first taping with Whose Line. He’s back on tomorrow, with us!” Ryan grinned.
Colin entered the room. “Hey, Ry.”
“Hi Col!” Ryan sprung up and enveloped Colin in a huge hug. His long arms were wrapped around Colin’s back tightly; giving an embrace that said everything. “Thanks,” he whispered. “I’m so- so sorry. You’ve done so much for this selfish old bugger.”
Colin smiled into Ryan’s shoulder and squeezed him. “I haven’t,” he whispered back. “I’ll always be here for you.”
Greg coughed loudly. “Whenever you’re ready, girls,” he sniffed. Ryan and Colin pulled away and grabbed a glass of the champagne. All three of them sank onto the sofa, Ryan and Greg holding hands tightly.
Moments passed.
“You know,” Colin commented, “you sure know how to throw a party.”
Greg scowled.
“So how are you and Deb?” Ryan asked. His voice was laden with guilt.
“Oh, not so great,” said Colin casually. Greg spun round.
“Why not?”
“We’ve not been on best terms lately.”
He fell silent.
“Load of bullshit.” Greg said decisively. “Truth, please, Col. Better be juicy too! I love a good gossip.” He winked.
“You never knew you were gay?” Ryan commented with a giggle. He turned back round to Colin.
Colin looked uncomfortable. “I- I thought I was in love with someone else. I cheated on Deb with the person,” he looked as his feet, as did Ryan. “I rang her and told her. I couldn’t live the lie. She was distraught- but she was willing to let it go just this once. She’s so loving.” He wiped his eye angrily. “But I couldn’t go back! I cheated on her with a man- and I enjoyed it more that I ever did with her!” He let out a watery chuckle. “I couldn’t live married when I knew that I was quite obviously gay.”
Greg stared stony faced at Colin. “I’m sorry, Colin. But it’s obviously for the best, you obviously weren’t happy.”
Colin nodded.
Greg’s face split into a grin. “Who was it?” He whispered.
Ryan looked alarmed.
“I’ll tell you when you’re drunk,” Colin murmured. “I thought I loved him- but he never loved me.”
“He did,” Ryan said softly, joining the conversation. “I mean- I’m sure he did. But maybe his love was stronger for someone else? I’m sure he loved you, though, and I’m sure he still does, a little bit.” He grabbed Greg’s hand, as if looking for some comfort. “I’m sure he’s sorry.”
Greg looked between Colin and Ryan who were maintaining eye contact, speaking without words.
“Are you guys psychic?” He snorted.
“Yeah,” Ryan smirked. “This is why we are going to be a hit on Whose Line. I can read his mind.”
“Really?” Greg sounded both suspicious and impressed.
“Yeah!” Colin said with a laugh. Greg eyes both of them, before getting up.
“I’ll be right back. I need the loo.”
Greg walked out and made his way upstairs.

Colin leaned forward slowly and kissed Ryan. It was soft, weak, barely there, but Ryan knew that Colin was putting all his wavering energy into it. It was full of meaning, and Ryan kissed Colin back, hoping that his entire apology was being conveyed. He did love Colin, but he loved Greg more. He pushed the kiss deeper and put his hands on Colin’s cheeks. Colin’s smaller hands were already running through Ryan’s poofy hair, pulling Ryan closer. He broke the kiss, finally.
“It was nothing more than comfort,” he whispered. Ryan nodded.
“I love you,” he said softly.
Colin frowned slightly. “I love you too,” he breathed. “But it wasn’t meant to be. We’re best friends. You have Greg.”
“You’ll find someone,” Ryan commented quietly.
Colin stopped touching Ryan all together, pulling away. But it was fine. Now everything would work itself out. He didn’t blame Ryan- he knew that they were both in love, but Ryan loved Greg as well. And to be fair, Colin wasn’t even sure if he loved or lusted after Ryan. The kiss had ended things.
They would just be best friends, now. And in all honesty, that was all Colin wanted.

Greg walked into the room.
“Jesus, who died?”
Ryan looked up at him and smiled. “I think we need to do something. Go out. The three of us.”
Greg nodded. “Sure.”
Ryan’s phone started to ring. He waved an apology to Greg and Colin before answering. “Hello?”
He paused.
“WELL DONE! OH my – hang on- Greg?” Ryan swivelled round to look at Greg. “Can we have a party?” Greg nodded in bewilderment. Ryan grinned and mouthed thanks.
“BRAD! Come over mine- bring friends and beer! All you need!” He beamed.
“Oh, it’s Brad,” whispered Colin.
“Who’s Brad?” Greg hissed. There was a hint of jealously in his voice. Colin chuckled.
“He’s a young improviser Ryan has taken under his wing. Far too young for Ryan, don’t worry.” He smiled. “Not that Brad would ever lust after Ryan! No, from what I hear, he’s quite the ladies man. I’ve never met him myself. But Ryan met him when Brad was his understudy in a comedy club- and spotted his talent. He got him an interview on Whose Line. Evidently he got the job!” He smiled. “He gets lots of people jobs, actually.” He added as an afterthought.
Ryan slammed the phone down and jumped up. “Come on kids,” he said happily. “We’re having ourselves a party!”