Ryan's Redemption

[the-empressar.livejournal.com]

Title: Ryan's Redemption 16/?
Author:  The Empress of "When will it ever End!!??" (Ya know ya love me:))
Pairing: Ryan/Colin 
Word Count:  2,541
Summary:  Now here's a twist!!!
Disclaimer:  Thanks to EVERYONE for sticking with me along this journey!!  No Actual Chips were harmed in the making of this feature...but story Chip is gonna get it...SOON!!  *ACK...DAMN SPOILERS!!!*

*SORRY SORRY SORRY TO HER ONLY BETA FAN!!!!  I WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND DID I MENTION I'M AN IMPATIENT EMPRESS OF ALL???!!!  I OWE YOU A COKE!!!*

Chapter 16

 

"Hey there." Ryan said softly in the ear in front of him.

 

The body to whom the ear was attached trembled with anticipation. "Yes?" It questioned as he made his way down the line.

 

"You come here often?"

 

Colin chuckled at probably one of the worst pick up lines that he's heard ever, regardless of what year it was.

 

"Hmmm, that all depends on who's asking." He said evenly.

 

"Did I tell you that your ass looks good in those jeans?" Ryan said stepping things up a notch.

 

Colin kept moving down the line. Stopping every few paces for a convict behind the serving area to plop a spoonful of whatever the hell they were serving that day onto his tray. He tried to pay little attention to the pokes from behind. He paused when Ryan's hand moved from his lower back to rest upon the ass in question.

 

"Ryan." Colin gasped. 

 

Ryan was being very inconspicuous, but could not help playing a little game to get the otherwise overly reserved Colin Mochrie hot under the collar. He cut his place in line and moved ahead of Colin his head held high, leaving the older man pleasantly distracted with his thoughts.

 

Colin went to their table, where Ryan was already there saving his seat. Sometimes they sat across from one another; other times they sat pressed closely together, whispering quiet thoughts to the other, not paying attention to anyone around them. It was as if Ryan had gotten trapped, locked away in Colin's little world and he loved it there. 

 

Today, Ryan patted the seat beside him and Colin slid easily into it, his shoulder bumping up against Ryan's in their special greeting. Ryan looked down at the food on Colin's tray deciding on what he would snatch up for the day, if anything. Colin didn't mind him picking food, here and there, although sometimes he had to fight for it. Ryan ate like a bird, and birds, as you know, tended to eat quite a bit.

 

Every so often, Colin would run his finger alongside Ryan's letting the other man know he was there, and comforting himself at the same time. He loved the feel of Ryan's skin and how the light shown in his eyes every time Ryan smiled back at him. Today there was a certain tension in the air. They could feel it between them. All one of them would have to do was say the word. They had yet to find an opportunity for completion and Ryan wasn't sure he was ready to cross over into that territory. He liked things as pleasantly frustrating as they were at the moment. He knew when the time would be right and Colin was patiently waiting on him. But getting there is half the fun, and since they had all the time in the world at present, they liked to make each other as hot as possible, seeing which one would break first. 

 

Colin continued to trace his fingertips over the back of Ryan's hand marveling at the gooseflesh that rose up on contact. A small sigh escaped Ryan's lips as he lost interest in whatever was on Colin's tray. He studied the hypnotic tracing, the swirling rising up and up, growing bolder. "What are you doing?" He said barely above a whisper.

 

"I'm just finishing what you started." Colin said evenly. He moved his thumb along the trail his fingers recently traveled bringing more sensations to the touch. Ryan moaned impatiently under his breath. He could hold out, but not for much longer.   Colin smiled at his opportunity. He always loved to win at this game.

 

He leaned into Ryan and said into his ear, tickling the fine hairs there with his breath. "Library. Now." He nibbled Ryan's earlobe so quickly that not only did Ryan have no time to process the feeling; no one in the whole cafeteria witnessed the scene as well. Colin stood and deposited his tray as usual. He didn't glance back just kept walking out the door. Ryan smiled a predatory smile and followed.

 

 

In the last row of books in the tiny prison library, Ryan found his lover, pretending to seriously study a book he had found. He kept his head bent low and didn't look up as Ryan approached him. Colin knew he was there and saw him in his peripheral vision, and he had to fight hard to keep the dimple that often found its way into his cheek from showing itself. He looked up just as Ryan approached, giving him his best innocent, "how did you know I was here?" look before Ryan tossed the book aside and pinned him up against the shelf. Ryan looked at Colin hungrily and rightly so. He didn't, after all, have much of his breakfast. Colin licked his lips and half lidded his eyes. It was all he had time to do. Ryan greedily attacked his mouth, kissing him, licking him, tasting him. Their moans traveled softly throughout the library. They knew it would be bad if they were caught, but there were so few places that one could find some private time. You took what you could get in the stir.

 

Colin brought his hands to Ryan's hair losing them in the soft curls, digging deep. He loved the feel of Ryan's hair, silky soft, and Ryan loved the feel of his hands in them. Ryan had his hands at either side of Colin trying to get as close as he could into Colin's skin. He flung books off of the shelf as he tried desperately to hold onto Colin. He was pushing so hard, he almost toppled the shelf over completely. "Calm down, Ry." Col said between kisses. He was breathing very hard but knew how to bring Ryan down when he got overexcited. Colin framed Ryan's head with his hands and peppered kisses along his upper lip and nose. He brushed kisses along his cheekbones and smoothed out the hair that had fallen into his eyes. Ryan looked down at Colin, his breathing coming in shallow ragged gasps. He stared lustfully at Colin. "How do you do this to me?" He questioned with a slight hitch in his voice. He bit Colin's lower lip. That not satisfying him he sucked it in, licking at it with his tongue until he heard what he was waiting for. Colin's breaking point was near. 

 

Ryan continued to bite and nip his way down Colin's chin and neck. Colin leaned his head back as far is it would go. Ryan pressed himself further into Colin's body holding him in place between himself and the bookcase. He grabbed one of Colin's legs and hoisted it up around his hip, causing a real moan to escape from both of them. The pressure of two torsos crushed together was delightfully unbearable. Ryan was so close, but he knew he could not do this here. It was too risky. Nonetheless, Colin's hands as they traveled up and down his back had a way of convincing him otherwise. 

 

"Ryan." Colin breathed. 

 

"Yeah...Col...." Ryan said between alternating licks and kisses. 

 

"I have another meeting with the parole board today." Colin said as he brought his head back down trailing light kisses along Ryan's face. Ryan ceased his grinding against Colin's thigh and brought his lips to Colin's forehead which had now been lowered. Colin was staring at the carpet. He didn't mean to throw a bucket of ice water on what was happening, but it was troubling him.

 

"Oh?" Ryan said.

 

"Yeah. It's that time of year again. Rejection time." Colin said as he toed the carpet. He still couldn't meet Ryan's eyes.

 

"Well, maybe I don't want ya to leave." Ryan said wrapping his arms around Colin, bringing him closer and lifting his chin with his fingers. He looked into Colin's eyes. "Do you want to leave now?"

 

"Ryan, you can't ask me that seriously." Colin said as he searched Ryan's face. "You know I've been waiting years for this and I try with every opportunity I get. I don't know how I feel about it now."

 

"Well...geeze." Ryan said as if he couldn't believe his ears. "We just found each other Colin. How are you gonna say that to me?"

 

"Don't make me answer this now." Colin said torn. He dropped his arms from around Ryan's waist. 

 

Ryan looked back at him. Fear shown in his eyes for the first time.   "I think you mean to take this seriously, Col. You'd leave me now if you had the opportunity. And ya know what? I don't think I'd wish ya the best at this point."

 

"Ry," Colin said reaching out to him. "That's not fair. I've been here so long. I want the chance. I’ve always wanted the chance. I thought at least you'd be the only person who'd understand."

 

"Hey, yeah, sure, whatever Col. Ya know, good luck to you in that." Ryan said with absolutely no feeling in his voice. "Hey, I just remembered something. I gotta go. I'll catcha later on ok?" Ryan didn't even wait for a response. He turned and hurried away, leaving a completely bewildered friend behind.

 

Colin's face fell. Tears welled in his eyes as he fought to keep them back. He had to do this. Why wouldn't anyone understand?

 

Same room. Same table. Same four chairs with the same four faces staring back at him. Same facts read with the same admonishing tones. Same pleas of forgiveness spoken with the same fervor and earnest. Same feeling of hopelessness as the same stamp of denial pressed itself in the same tattered folder. Another year, another regret remembered.  Officer Sherwood placed a sympathetic hand on a weary shoulder, as the same guard led him away. A same rueful smile tucked the same file in the same file cabinet as he did every year.

 

Ryan knew he was going to have to face Colin again some time soon. But right now, he was feeling more than slightly hurt. He knew he should have been very supportive of the fact that Colin had his opportunity. His chance for freedom. He just didn’t think that Colin would feel the same passion as he had in the past. He wanted Colin to stay with him. He needed Colin here now more than ever. He was a fighter before, but now his fight had purpose. He wanted to get out too, but he wanted it to be with Colin. There was no waiting on the other side for him. He wanted it together or not at all. He couldn’t understand why Colin didn’t feel the same way. Maybe he was being a bit selfish after all his friend had been through. But Ryan wanted more of an opportunity to make it better. And if Colin got out, well, maybe he would forget all that they had established here. Maybe he would forget Ryan completely. He reluctantly rose from his bunk as he heard the alarm for recreation time. It had been two days since their moments in the library and Ryan had avoided Colin like the plague. He couldn’t bring himself to talk to the man, even though after day one, he knew he was behaving like an ass.

 

 

 

Officer Chip Esten was having a shitty day. And when he had a shitty day, everyone he knew and didn’t know, would pay. It was always someone else’s fault. They never saw things in life the way he did. Many opportunities to reach out and take hold of, many ways to move up on the ladder. Sure he used whatever tactics it took, but that was part of the fun. He didn’t mind bullying people if it got him what he needed. And let’s face it; the people in this hole were nothing but scum anyway. He knew his shit smelled better than every single one of these bastards in here and he didn’t hesitate to let them know about it either. 

 

He strolled through the penitentiary yard, with a fierce look in his eye. He was privy to some valuable information that Warden Carey had shared with him a month earlier and he was dying to use it to his advantage to bring more misery to a certain inmate he had had it in for since the incident occurred. What even made it doubly sweet was that he also had information that he knew would make this convict completely lose his mind. That would provide for plenty of extra entertainment that would decidedly brighten his day.

 

He saw his intended victim sitting by himself on one of the stadium bleachers. He was hunched over trying to block out the wind and chill that had picked up during the day. It was late November, and uncharacteristically cold for the climate. He didn’t see the large giant of a man that had caused him to lose his winning smile by chipping his tooth. The dentist told him there was no way of replacing the chip and that would forever piss him off. He had avoided the man since, but he seemed to be around the other little sissy so much he figured he had either became the man’s bodyguard or was fucking him on the sly. Officer Esten swallowed his look of disgust at the thought.

 

Smiling impishly, he approached Colin and stood before the man. He waited patiently as Colin brought his eyes up and looked into the face of pure gleeful malignance. He put his boot on the bench before him and studied the passive face that showed no emotion other than a sort of resigned acceptance that for whatever reason Chip stood before him, it would not be a good one.

 

Ryan had been walking with his head down making his way past various other prisoners. He was going to try and approach Colin today and see if he would be willing to talk to him. There were some things he needed sorting out. He knew he needed to have a serious talk with Colin about the direction their relationship was heading. He didn’t mean to sound so much like a dame, but Colin meant that much to him.

 

Ryan was about 500 paces away from the bleachers he knew Colin normally sat at. He was having a hard time bringing his eyes up to take in the familiar form that always made his heart race when he was around him. He could feel the expectancy prickle his skin and he smiled inwardly. He must be hung up over this man. Why else would he be acting like some gawky teenager on his first date? He looked up just in time to see Colin leap up from the bleachers as if he were superman and tackle who appeared to Ryan from this distance to be Officer Esten.

 

Everything happened in a blur. Ryan’s feet felt like they were trapped in cement over shoes and he was being sent up the river. He could see the dust being kicked up, he could see the other prisoners running, he just couldn’t move. He opened his mouth to scream wordlessly the only word that entered his mind. “COLIN!”