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Date: 2010-11-01 01:10 pm (UTC)The only thing I would say is to remember to start a new paragraph when someone new speaks. For example, with this:
"Col..." he started, "Don't even start," Colin stated emphatically.
There should be a full stop after started, then a new paragraph.
Hope you don't mind a bit of constructive criticism. Feel free to hit me for being picky if you want! XP