Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Chap 3/18

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Chapter 3

Ryan cursed heartily for picking Cece’s. It’d been an obvious choice, but also an obvious mistake. Wayne and Brad strode over with their small cadre of friends, a small quirk of pleasure written over their features. “Ryan? Is something wrong?” Colin asked, frowning, pausing in his lecture on when one of his more unlucky colleagues had gotten ‘lucky’ with a dolphin because of a pheromone accident.

“Wow, first name basis already with the profs! I’m pretty damn impressed!” Wayne said cheerfully, making Colin blink as the man sat down between himself and Ryan, the others of the party fanning out around them, making Colin feel distinctly uncomfortable. “Wayne,” he held out a dark hand.

“Colin,” he shook the hand, trying to smile anyway.

“Oh don’t worry, we all know you. We work as janitors there, too,” Brad rested his chin on his fist, watching Colin closely with what Colin’s father had always scowled and called a shit-eating grin.

Ryan rubbed the bridge of his nose, feeling a little pissed and more than a little helpless.

Colin leaned back from Brad’s close proximity. “I’ve seen most of you around, I think… Sherwood… right?”

“That’s me, though you can call me Brad,” he grinned and pointed at the other men, all sitting around and watching intently. “That’s Bill, Cody, and Mike.”

They all waved, looking like they were in on some big joke Colin had no clue about. He swallowed hard, shifting anxiously, looking to Ryan something, a hint, anything. Wayne broke the silence, leaning forward and stealing a chip from the complimentary basket. “So, whatcha guys talking about?” he asked.

Colin flushed slightly, but moved gainly along. “I was telling Ryan about a story from when I went out collecting samples on some barrier reefs in Australia,”

“Pfff, like that’d keep Stiles’ attention,” Brad snorted, swatting Ryan’s back. Ryan glared at him, but Brad was unrepentant. “All he cares about is scoring with a hot waitress and washing it all away with a beer with his best buddies,”

Everyone chuckled, ignoring Ryan, who was now staring at his knuckles as they slowly turned white as he clenched his hands to fists. Wayne turned to Colin, munching a chip. “He doesn’t really care about science, being a highschool dropout like he is. Wannabe stand up comedian turned janitor. So you see,” he sounded so reasonable, even as Colin’s ears turned red and he narrowed his eyes at the table top. “He ain’t got any room for science,” Or you, went unspoken, of course.

It was all very underhanded, and Colin had to compliment them on the message, but he could tell that Ryan was not like that. Something told him that. But still, Colin didn’t want anymore of this crap. “Excuse me,” he rose, pulling on his jacket. Ryan finally raised his gaze from his fists to watch Colin with a sad look, an apology. Colin sent him a brief smile. “I need to be getting home. It was nice meeting you gentlemen, I’ll see you all at work tomorrow,” he nodded to all of them and left, feeling amused, snide, and most of all saddened eyes follow him.

In his car, he rested his forehead to the steering wheel, trying to calm his rabbiting heart, trying to get rid of the flush of embarrassment coursing steadily through his system. He sighed, turning on the car and pulling out of the lot towards home. “No use getting upset about it. You’ll see him tomorrow. At least he likes you,” I hope, Colin added silently.


Ryan turned to Wayne. “What the fuck was that about? Why’d you chase him away for?”

“He don’t belong here,” Wayne said firmly, moving into the seat Colin had vacated and signaling for another round as the rest of the gang settled in, too. “They make massive messes and we clean them up. That’s it. Sure, we can say hi, but we’re the hired help, remember? In their heads we can never meet their expectations and they’ll get bored with trying to explain everything and be assholes.”

“It’s best this way, dude, you should know that,” Brad patted Ryan’s shoulder but Ryan shrugged him off. Brad sighed. “Come on, let’s get trashed, it’s been a shitty day and I know that neither of us wants to remember what that chem lab shit smells like.”

“You guys didn’t have to insult him like that,” Ryan said, sounding sullen even in his own ears.

“Please, I didn’t do anything that his coworkers haven’t done to us,” Wayne sniffed, sipping his beer. “Talking to us like we’re fuckin’ dogs or even dumber,” he shook his head angrily. But then Wayne was an angry guy. Sure, he laughed and joked, but Ryan could always tell he was just at his core angry.

“Whatever,” Ryan dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “I’m gonna go home.”

Brad leaned over the back of his chair, shouting at his retreating form. “Aw come on Ry, don’t be sore about it! That’s just how it is!”

Ryan scowled as he paid up and tipped his bill. “Yeah, well it’s shitty…” but he couldn’t help but think: If this was how his friends reacted to him hanging out with Colin… what would the man’s important and very influential colleagues say?

He frowned. He didn’t want to hurt Colin, but he really didn’t want to hurt the man’s job. He loved his job. Ryan sighed… he hated fucked up choices like these.

Damn. And he would have loved to have known Colin better.



When Colin woke up the following morning, his first thought was that he might be seeing Ryan again that day. His second thought was that his first thought had been pathetic, but that still didn’t wipe the smile off his face…

As he was getting ready for work, he realized he was actually trying to find an outfit that made him look good. He had never bothered with clothes, and as he looked through his wardrobe, he cursed that fact vehemently. In the end, he settled on a blue V-neck sweater and some reasonably decent trousers. He honestly didn’t know why he had bothered, he’d be wearing his lab coat which would hide his own clothes anyway…but you might see him when you come in and you won’t be wearing your coat then, will you? His treacherous inner voice told him.

He honestly didn’t know why Ryan had affected him so much. He wasn’t one for personal relationships and even though he got on well enough with his colleagues, he couldn’t really envisage drinking a beer with any of them. With Proops, maybe, he thought but he was an exception. He liked Greg Proops, even if he was a little intimidated by him. The man had a razor sharp mind and anyone daring to match wits with him, did so at their own peril. He had seen Greg take a cocky little intern down a peg or two and even though he avoided confrontations like that himself, he couldn’t help but admire it in others. If only Greg had been there last night, he would have known what to say...You just took the easy way out and ran…How is that going to look good?

He had mulled over the conversation he’d had with the other janitors and the more he replayed it in his head, the worse it had been. They had intimated that all Ryan cared about was scoring with some hot waitress, and that he would be bored by tales about research expeditions…So why had Ryan seemed so interested in his stories before his colleagues had arrived? Had he been faking it? But why would he do that? Because you’re a Professor and he might want something from you…

But he found that hard to believe. Moreover, he didn’t want to believe it. Even if Ryan was more interested in chasing skirts, he still would like to get to know him better. He had really felt a connection with him and if friendship was all he could have, then well, he’d settle for that.

He made it to work on time, despite nearly missing his stop. He’d been so lost in thought; he had to make a mad dash for the doors when he’d realized he had to get off. He was hoping he’d see Ryan when he came in, but he didn’t. Ryan was nowhere to be seen.

He toyed with the idea of accidentally spilling something on purpose but he dismissed that as far too obvious. Plus, it might not be Ryan who’d come to clean it up. It might be one of his colleagues. He had shuddered a little at the thought. He tried to stop thinking about Ryan but he was only marginally successful and when he went to the cafeteria to get some lunch, he convinced himself that the only reason he took the scenic route (crossing most of the University and across the courtyard) was because he wanted some fresh air. That was all. Nothing more…

When home-time arrived and he still hadn’t seen Ryan, he was wondering if something was wrong. Maybe Ryan was ill? Maybe he was home alone, succumbing to a fever….or maybe he’d been hit by a car and was lying in a ditch somewhere… The fact that the nearest ditch was probably a hundred miles away didn’t come into it. He realized he was overreacting when he was about to dial reception to check if Ryan had come into work that day. You only had a beer with him Mochrie, that doesn’t qualify as a meaningful relationship… Let’s not turn into a bunny boiler just because the guy feigned interest…

So, he went home. Without having seen Ryan. He had almost been tempted to go to CeCe’s and check if Ryan was there but he realized that could be considered stalking…You can’t make people love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope they give in… He’d seen the quote on a student’s rucksack. How appropriate.

He cooked a meal for himself but ate it without tasting, watched some television without having a clue what the program was about and went to bed earlier than usual. For a day that had started out with so much promise, it had really turned into a shitty one.

The next day was pretty much a repetition of the previous one. He never got to see Ryan and in the end, he went home early. This pattern continued for the next four days and just as he had almost given up hope of ever seeing Ryan again, he bumped into him, quite literally, on his way to a meeting with the head of department.

He had rounded a corner and collided with something solid.

“Oomphf” he would have landed ass first on the floor if two strong hands hadn’t gripped him and pulled him a little closer, only for him to be pushed away with almost the same speed.

“Ryan! I haven’t seen you in a while! We’ve got to stop meeting like this!” He tried, but he couldn’t stop the wheezy giggle that escaped. Even in his overall, Ryan looked...well, like Ryan.

“Sorry sir, it won’t happen again,” what the hell…

“I was only joking Ryan, I wasn’t looking where I was going…” He was keen to engage Ryan in conversation, drinking in his presence but Ryan looked uncomfortable and ready to walk off. “Ryan?”

“Yes sir?” Again with the sir…what is going on?

“Colin, please. You know that. I hate being called sir, I told you that. How have you been?” Ryan’s unbending attitude was making him very nervous and very self conscious.

“I’m fine sir, thank you for asking. I’m sorry but I’ve got to go” and before Colin could stop him, Ryan had walked away.

Colin felt like he had been slapped in the face. He hadn’t expected a tearful reunion but Ryan’s cold attitude, combined with the “sir” thing had thrown him for a loop. Maybe his colleagues had been right. Maybe Ryan had been bored and had just been polite…Shit…he was going to be late for his meeting with the HOD…

He dashed off; trying to put the encounter with Ryan to the back of his mind but it wasn’t easy.


After a mind numbingly boring meeting, during which he had decided that there were at least ten places he’d rather be than there (one of which was a particularly swampy bit of the Everglades with bacon wrapped around him, whilst caiman were getting their swim suits ready…) he made his way back to his lab, trying to find an explanation for Ryan’s behavior.

He wasn’t in any mood to talk to anyone, so he locked himself in his office. He sat in front of the window until it had gotten dark and all he could see was his own reflection. The white hair made him look old… Maybe Ryan thought he’d been trying to seduce him…which really…he had been…albeit subconsciously. He had wanted Ryan to like him. Maybe he’d been sending out vibes and Ryan had picked up on that and it had freaked him out…

He sighed. This was getting him absolutely nowhere. If he were a superhero, he’d be Hamsterboy. Stuck in a wheel, doing ninety miles an hour but not making any progress whatsoever.

He had to leave….they’d probably be locking the building soon… He grabbed his coat and switched off the lights. As he closed the door behind him, he saw Ryan rounding the corner. They stared at each other for what seemed an hour, but was probably more like ten seconds, before Ryan turned back and tried to walk away.

“Ryan!” because the building was deserted, his voice sounded even louder. He would have been embarrassed, had he not been so keen to stop Ryan in his tracks. It worked. Ryan froze and turned towards him again. “Ryan, did I offend you in any way?” Ryan’s shoulders slumped but he didn’t say anything. Colin had bridged the distance between them and was now standing in front of him but Ryan refused to look him in the eye. “If I did, I apologize” Jesus Mochrie… you think you can beg a little more?

“No sir, you didn’t,”

“Then why am I back to sir? I don’t understand…”

“Look…” Ryan dragged a hand through his hair, which made the curls spring up even more. It nearly gave Colin a heart attack. Who knew dragging your hand through your hair could be that sexy?

Ryan sighed, “It’s not you…”

“How can it not be me? What did I do? I’m sorry if I was rude to your colleagues…”

“No, they were rude to you but they had a point. We have nothing in common, ok? So leave me alone.” And with that, he turned and walked away. Again…