[Secret Santa Fic] Girl Stuff

[sungreen70.livejournal.com]

Well, she got it in one! Cae correctly guessed that I was her Santa, so I'm posting her fic :) Among Cae's suggested pairings was Josie/Sandi, which I was leery about since I've never written femslash, nor am I all that familiar with Sandi or Josie,  but then I kinda though "hmm... a challenge!" Besides, I know Cae luvs Josie/Sandi, of which there isn't much out there, and I luv her, so I gave it my best shot! 

Title: Girl Stuff
Author: Sun Green
Pairing: Josie Lawrence/Sandi Toksvig (with a hint of Ryan/Colin/Greg, just for funsies ;-) ) 
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4355
Summary: What do the girls of Whose Line do when they get together? Drink a little wine, talk about the boys, maybe make out a little... 
Disclaimer: Please, if I did own 'em, you think I'd have all this time on my hands to write fics about 'em? 

“And I said fuck off, Patterson! Don’t tell me what I can’t say on TV. Fuck the censors! This is fuckin’ comedy!”

 

Sandi grimaced as Ryan’s loud, vodka-slurred voice reverberated in her ear. The words weren’t directed to her, though – he was leaning across her – leaning on her, in fact - to address Tony, seated on her opposite side. She shifted a little in her chair, trying to discreetly nudge him away from her. But Tony leaned in from the other side, pinning her between them as he clinked his glass against Ryan’s and shouted “Fuck Dan Patterson!”  

 

Though the exchange wasn’t the slightest bit funny to someone who wasn’t drunk off one’s ass, raucous laughter – along with alcohol-reeking breath – assaulted her from both sides, and she closed her eyes in silent agony. Thankfully, Ryan moved away then to drape himself over Colin, who was far more welcoming of his attentions than Sandi.

 

Left in peace, Sandi sipped a beer that she didn’t really want while her eyes darted around, studying each of the group in turn as they shouted and laughed uproariously. Her gaze fell on Josie at the adjoining table, a few seats down and across the way. Chin propped on one fist, she was listening to Richard Vranch telling a story that involved a lot of broad gestures – many of them obscene. From the slightly sardonic smile on Josie’s lips, Sandi gathered that Richard’s tale was a fairly standard one for the men of Whose Line – a crude and highly exaggerated telling of his sexual conquests.

 

Idly picking at the beer bottle label with her fingernail, Sandi surreptitiously scrutinized the other woman - the only other female present, and one of few women ever to have had a significant role on the male-dominated show - Sandi being another member of that select group. Despite having that distinction in common, Sandi didn’t know much about Josie. They’d taped shows together, but didn’t see a lot of each other off the set. During those weeks in which the cast arrived from all ends of the world to assemble in London for several days of taping, their paths never seemed to cross in non-working hours – other than nights like this one, when the entire cast got together to celebrate the start of another round of working.

 

Sandi usually spent her time off alone, leaving the city whenever she could to explore the more remote areas of England. Isolated beaches on winter afternoons and rocky cliffs in the early morning fog were the places where she felt most content. If her solitary days were a bit lonely sometimes, they were peaceful. They were a break from her hectic schedule of television and radio work; long stretches of time to reflect on things, such as the way things were going for her career (not bad), and her personal life (well…). It allowed her time to consider what else she’d like to do with her life. Lately, she’d begun to think about writing… should she ever find the free time to give it a try. She’d dream up things inside her head, and think about maybe putting them down on paper one of these days. Sandi always returned from these journeys filled with renewed energy and a sense of well being. It wasn’t anything she could explain to someone else. She doubted anyone would understand. So the trips out to the countryside remained her secret.

 

In contrast, Josie usually socialized during her down time, joining whichever men were also free on excursions to various parts of the city. Sandi had watched her head out with them many times, laughing and holding her own among the rowdy, raunchy group as they joked and bragged and insulted each other, yet still appearing dignified and elegant in comparison. It was obvious that Josie never felt awkward or shy around the men, the way Sandi so often did. She had no reason to be – Josie was as talented as any of them, and they all liked her and treated her as an equal, on the set and off.

 

Sandi could have joined any of these little groups at any time, she knew – she’d been invited along often enough to know that that no one would mind. It was always one of the men who extended the invitation, though. Never Josie. And perhaps that was the real reason Sandi rarely accepted – the vague feeling that she would have been pushing in on something that was Josie’s alone. Maybe, she sometimes reflected, Josie liked being the only female to break into the boy’s club. She had been there first, after all. And since joining the cast, Sandi had never gotten the impression that Josie was particularly pleased to have another woman along for the ride. Not that she was unfriendly – she wasn’t. But Sandi was always conscious of Josie watching her from her seat at the back of the stage as she performed. It was like the other woman was appraising her, forming an opinion of her that she’d never shared. And her manner towards Sandi when they acted a scene together or spoke briefly off the set didn’t give anything away. She was a tough one to figure out, Josie was.  

 

As if sensing Sandi’s thoughts, Josie shifted her eyes from Richard and caught her gaze. She grinned at Sandi and rolled her eyes slightly. Richard was so involved in his story that he didn’t notice. Embarrassed to be caught staring, Sandi smiled briefly in return and dropped her eyes.

 

The smoke from several different brands of cigarettes – and Mike McShane’s vile smelling cigar – coupled with the noise, was giving her a headache. She shoved her chair back, murmuring something about the ladies room that none of the guys around her appeared to register, and wandered away from the table. Spotting the door marked “Ladies”, she pushed it open, more for somewhere to go than for a need to use the facilities.

 

Inside the washroom, she leaned against the row of basins and looked at her image in the mirror. Ugh, she thought, making a face. Smoky bars didn’t do much for one’s complexion, or for unruly hair. Not that there was anyone around that she needed to impress, she reflected ruefully, half-heartedly trying to smooth down her tousled locks. Not only were the Whose Line men about as appealing to her as the mumps, they were notorious for being more interested in each other – even the ones who were married.

 

The door swung open, startling her. “God!” Josie snorted, marching over to Sandi and directing the words to her as though they’d been in the middle of a conversation. “Have you ever been more bored in your life?” She huffed out an exasperated breath. “If I wanted to know about the mating habits of a bunch of pigs, I’d go to the zoo.”

 

Sandi chuckled awkwardly. “Kind of feels like I’m there already, between the noise and the smell.”

 

Josie wrinkled her nose. “Yeah. I don’t know which is worse, Mike’s cigars or his body odor.”

 

Caught off guard, Sandi burst out laughing. So it wasn’t just her. Mike was a darling, but he did sweat a lot. Josie grinned at her. “Aren’t I awful? It’s true, though.”

 

Sandi smiled back, and tried to think of something else to say, since Josie was watching her expectantly. When she came up empty handed, Josie’s gaze slid to the mirror, her eyes skimming over her reflection with none of the concern that such self-examination always aroused in Sandi. Of course, Sandi mused with more than a little envy, Josie had nothing to be concerned about. Her flawless skin was unmarred by the hazy smoke of the bar, and her hair was as smooth and shining as though she’d just stepped down from the stylist’s chair in Wardrobe before a taping.

 

Her quick inspection done, Josie turned back to Sandi, beaming a friendly smile. “Enough of this. What would you say to getting the hell out of here?”

 

Sandi breathed a sigh of relief at the thought of leaving. “I’d say it was the best idea I’ve heard all night.”

 

“Good. Let’s go.”

 

Together, they headed back out, pausing at the bar long enough for Josie to charm the bartender into selling her a full bottle of white wine. Stepping out of the smoke-filled pub into the fresh autumn air was a tremendous relief. Sandy inhaled deeply and smiled, catching Josie’s eye. The taller woman smiled back and jerked her head in the direction of the park, a few blocks up on the opposite side of the street. Sandy nodded agreement and they set off.

 

Josie chattered away with a familiarity that suggested they were long-time friends, instead of acquaintances who’d spent a few days out of the past two years together on a television set. Not for the first time, Sandi admired the ease with which Josie seemed to fit herself into any situation. Josie was so elegant, she thought wistfully, watching the tall, slim figure moving slightly ahead of her with brisk, long-legged strides. Her long skirt swung around her shapely legs, making a soft swishing sound in the night air, and her rich chestnut hair bounced against her shoulders, floating neatly back into place. Josie always made her feel even shorter than she was, and frumpy. She sighed inwardly. Much as she’d been longing to get away from the pub, so far being alone with Josie wasn’t any more comfortable than being lost among the rest of the cast.

 

Josie turned to look over her shoulder, pausing to let her catch up. “You did want to get out of there, didn’t you?” she asked. “I’m not taking you away from anything?”

 

“Oh yes,” Sandi said hastily. “I’d been trying to come up with an excuse to escape.”

 

“Good,” Josie smiled, linking her arm through Sandi’s as they continued down the deserted street. “I get so sick of the boys sometimes.”

 

“I, ah… thought you liked being with them,” Sandi faltered. “You seem so comfortable around them.”

 

Josie paused at the corner and looked up the road for cars before stepping off the curb. “What’s to be uncomfortable about? They’re children, showing off for each other. And for us.” She snorted.

 

Sandi shook her head. “You, maybe. They don’t know that I’m there.”

 

Startled, Josie turned to face her. “Why do you say that?”

 

She felt herself flush. Now that she’d spoken them, her words sounded pitiful to her own ears. She chuckled uncomfortably. “Oh, I don’t know. Just… they work together so much more often, and know each other so well. I only tape a few shows. They don’t see much of me. That’s all.”

 

Josie shrugged. “It’s the boys’ club, no doubt about that. But that doesn’t mean you and I don’t have a lot to contribute. You can’t let them intimidate you.”

 

They don’t, Sandi thought, avoiding Josie’s eyes. You do. She stayed silent.

 

They had reached the park by now, and Josie tugged at Sandi’s elbow and steered her towards a small playground area, where they settled on a pair of swings. Side by side they pushed themselves gently back and forth a few inches at a time by dragging their toes in the loosely packed dirt. Josie handed Sandi the wine bottle and watched as she took a drink, her face serious. “You don’t have any silly ideas that you’re not as good as everyone else on the show, do you?”

 

Sandi fervently wished she had never spoken. Josie - talented, beautiful Josie - could never understand what it felt like to be the odd one out. What’s more, she was probably rolling her eyes inwardly at Sandi’s pitiful lack of self-confidence. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and passed the bottle back. “No… no, nothing like that. I don’t know what I was talking about. I guess I was just a little out of sorts tonight – you know, sitting there with the lot of them carrying on so.”

 

Josie chuckled. “Bloody awful, wasn’t it?” She continued to study Sandi’s face for a moment, making her squirm. Thankfully, she dropped the subject then and they fell quiet, still idly pushing their swings back and forth. The silence stretched between them as they passed the wine bottle back and forth a few times. Sandi supposed Josie had grown bored, probably wondering why she had ever suggested they go off together. She groped for something to say, but once again, Josie spoke up first.

 

“Where is it that you always head off to on your days off?” she asked, handing over the wine. “I’ve always wondered.”

 

“Oh…” Sandi shrugged uncomfortably. “Nowhere special.” She took a swig.

 

“Oh.” Josie looked down. Sandi bit her lip. She hadn’t meant to sound as off-putting as she had. It was simply that she had never discussed her days of solitude with anyone else. She sighed.

 

“Well, I just... go out to the country. Take long walks. Explore.”

 

“Exploring? What’s there to explore?” Sandi glanced quickly at Josie’s face. She looked interested, her head tilted to one side as she waited for an answer.

 

“Well… not much, I guess. It’s just… getting away for a while. I usually don’t do anything more than find an empty beach somewhere and just sit and watch the waves.” The words sounded lame spoken aloud. They didn’t come close to doing justice to what it actually felt like to be the only living soul as far she could see, as if the entire world was hers to make of it whatever she wanted.

 

“That sounds lovely,” Josie sighed, her eyes dreamy. “Peaceful. It must be the best way to think, and figure things out.” She was so exactly right that Sandi was startled. She wouldn’t have expected Josie to get it.

 

“You’ll have to try it sometime.”

 

Josie nodded. “Maybe someday you’ll let me come along with you,” she suggested, a tentative note in her voice. Sandi tried to imagine what it would be like to have another person along on one of her excursions – to have Josie, of all people, sharing in her quiet, reflective days. The thought was oddly intriguing. She nodded.

 

“I’d like that.”

 

Josie smiled, and they grew quiet again. This time, though, it was a companionable silence. Sandi drew in another deep breath of cool night air. It was invigorating, and suddenly she felt restless. She backed herself up on her swing and pushed off, soaring up through the darkness. She heard Josie laugh, and then suddenly there she was, swinging alongside her. “Race you!” she shouted as she flew by Sandi, her long hair whipping behind her. Sandi giggled and pumped her legs harder.

 

“You’ll never catch me!”

 

It felt good to be silly, the tension of trying to make conversation forgotten as they swung higher and higher, their laughter ringing loudly through the stillness of the deserted park.

 

“I’m going to be sick!” Josie called over to her, still laughing as her swing shot past Sandi’s.

 

“Uh-oh! Houston, we have a problem!”

 

“Abort mission!”

 

“Mission aborted!” Sandi let go of the chains and hurled her body from the swing in mid-air, the way she had done when she was a kid. She heard Josie gasp, then laugh as she soared briefly before landing inelegantly in the dirt. Josie took a more conservative approach, letting her swing slow by itself before dragging her feet on the ground to stop it completely. Jumping up, she reached a hand down to help Sandi to her feet.

 

“You’re crazy, you know that?” The admiration in her voice sent a warm glow of pleasure through Sandi. Before she could answer, Josie looked over her shoulder, as if something had caught her eye. “Be right back!” She hurried off, leaving Sandi to brush the dust off her clothes and stare after her, marveling at how comfortable she suddenly felt with the other woman. Smiling and shaking her head, she moved over to the slide beside the swing set and perched on the end of it, awaiting Josie’s return.

 

“Sandi?” Josie appeared from behind the monkey bars, holding something aloft in her hand. It was a jump rope, abandoned by its owner, most likely due to the loss of one wooden handle. Sandi chuckled, reaching out a finger to touch the frayed end of the rope.

 

“Brilliant. I used to be the rope-jumping champion on my block, you know.”

 

“Me too.”  Josie wrapped the handle-less end of the rope around her wrist for a better grip and began skipping, chanting in a high-pitched, little girl voice.

 

“Strawberry shortcake

Blueberry pie

Who's gonna be your lucky guy?

A...B…C…D …”

 

Sandi laughed as Josie stumbled, and stepped forward to grab the rope. “No, listen, this one is better!” She swung the rope over her head and began skipping, surprised at how naturally it came back to her. She felt almost graceful, especially with Josie watching her, a delighted smile on her face. Quickly finding the rhythm, she began the long-forgotten chant:

 

“Cinderella dressed in yella

Went downtown to meet her fella

On the way her knickers busted

How many people were disgusted?

One… two… three…”

 

Josie shrieked with laughter as Sandi skipped faster and faster, buoyed by the exercise and the glow of friendship that was spreading through her. She was beginning to wonder how she had ever found Josie stand-offish.

 

“Wait for me!” Josie shouted now, running towards her. A moment later they were skipping face to face, perfectly in synch with their bodies inches apart. Sandi swung the rope in wider arcs to accommodate both of them and threw back her head in uninhibited laughter. She could feel the ends of Josie’s hair brush against her face as it flew about, stirring up a breeze. They were both giggling too hard to recite anymore of the childish rhymes and simply jumped together, one of them occasionally picking up the pace to try to trip up the other. Finally, spent, they collapsed side by side on the grass, still laughing uproariously.

 

“Why have we never done this before?” Josie demanded, as their giggles finally tapered off.

 

“What, made bloody fools of ourselves with a jump rope?”

 

Josie chuckled, spying the wine bottle where she’d left it under a nearby tree. Stretching out an arm, she caught the neck with her fingertips and pulled it over. “This. Girl stuff. Ditching the guys to have fun, instead of sitting around watching them compare penis sizes and brag about laying each other.”

 

Sandi snorted, accepting the bottle that Josie held out to her. “Come now, you mean you don’t enjoy hearing Ryan talk about how many times he makes Colin come?” They laughed wickedly.

 

“Well, I suppose it’s nicer than having to actually watch him do it, backstage.”

“Shut up! You didn’t see that!” Sandi nearly choked on the wine.

 

Josie nodded, shuddering at the memory. “They thought they were being oh so discreet. No one would ever notice a couple of giants giving each other hand jobs, hidden behind a box of props like they were.” She rolled her eyes.

 

Sandi shook her head in awed revulsion. “And I thought the little winks and come hither looks that Clive gives Greg all through the tapings were embarrassing.”

 

“What about Slattery and Sessions?”

 

“Or Slattery and Stephen Fry?”

 

“Hell, Slattery and everyone!” They burst into giggles again. Sandi passed the bottle to Josie and fell back on the grass, arms folded behind her head. Gazing up at a pale sliver of moon, she sighed deeply, contentedly. All the earlier awkwardness was gone. In fact, now she couldn’t understand why she’d ever felt shy with Josie. She’d enjoyed herself more these past few hours than she had at any time in recent memory.

 

Stretched out beside her, Josie propped herself up on one elbow and looked down at Sandi. “Really, though… why haven’t we?” When Sandi simply looked back at her, not sure how to answer, she continued. “You know, last spring when we were all out here for the tapings, I so wanted to spend time with you, away from the set, and get to know you better. I always thought it would be like this… that we would have this much fun. I was dying to suggest it to you.”

 

Sandi blinked in surprise. She’d never guessed that Josie wanted to be friends. “Why didn’t you?” From the corner of her eye she saw Josie shrug slightly.

 

“I don’t know. I kept getting the feeling that you didn’t like me.”

 

Startled, Sandi pushed herself up on her elbows. “Huh? Why would you think that?”

 

Looking a bit embarrassed, Josie shrugged again. “No particular reason. It wasn’t anything you ever said, or did. I guess it was more what you didn’t do. You never talked to me, or seemed to want anything to do with me.”

 

“That wasn’t it – not at all,” Sandi protested. “I just… I was afraid you didn’t want anything to do with me. You know – the new girl, coming in to your territory. I didn’t want you to think I was trying to take your place or anything.” She paused. “And I guess I was intimidated by you, too,” she added honestly.

 

Josie raised her eyebrow. “Intimidated? Why?”

 

“God, Josie – look at you! You’re incredibly talented – you act most of the guys right off the stage, even if Dan is too much of a chauvinist to recognize that a girl could upstage his precious boys, and use you as much as he should. That’s a lot for me to try and live up to.”

 

Josie stared at her. Slowly, a smile spread across her face. Sandi felt her cheeks flush. Great, she thought. Just when she was starting to think that maybe you weren’t a complete idiot, you had to go and prove her wrong.

 

“Sandi,” Josie said, laughter in her voice. “You just described exactly – exactly – what I’ve always thought about you.”

 

“Me?”

 

Now Josie did laugh. “Yes, you. You’re bloody brilliant on stage, and what’s more, you’re bloody brilliant off stage, too. I hear you talking to Greg or Clive about politics, world events –things I know nothing about. I’ve always felt like a fool around you.”

 

The confession astonished Sandi. An incredulous smile touched her lips, and she shook her head in wonder. “And I’ve always felt like a fool around you – you’re so smooth and graceful, no matter what crazy situation you find yourself in.”

 

“You’re so smart. You always know something about everything.”

 

“You’re beautiful.” The words slipped out before Sandi even realized she was thinking them. A blush heated her cheeks, and she looked away.

 

After a long moment, Josie replied. “You’re beautiful, too.”

 

Sandi dared a glance in her direction and saw Josie gazing at her, her eyes like candlelight in the darkness. “You’re beautiful, too,” she repeated softly. And then her lips were on Sandi’s, tasting of lipstick and white wine.

 

Sandi was too stunned to move at first – too frozen in place to feel. The ground beneath her was cold, the stiff grass scratchy through her clothes. But Josie’s lips were soft, her hair a sweet-scented curtain falling around them. Letting all further thought slip away, Sandi closed her eyes and lifted her head into the kiss, pressing her own mouth against Josie’s, gently at first, then with growing urgency. Of their own accord, her hands came up and twined through the long hair. It felt like silk against her skin, and she gently drew a handful of it to her face, stroking it over her cheek. Her lips parted and welcomed Josie’s tongue, which slid in tentatively, soft against her own. Cupping the back of Josie’s head, Sandi fell back onto the grass, pulling her down on top. Their limbs twined together and their kisses intensified, as that warm glow of new-found friendship suddenly ignited into a white-hot blaze, burning fiercely through her veins.

 

 

******

 

Their hands were linked as they strolled towards Sandi’s room, chattering in an elaborately casual fashion, as though both were afraid to acknowledge what lay ahead of them. And Sandi couldn’t deny it – she was afraid. But she was excited too. From the slightly higher pitched tone in Josie’s voice, it was apparent that she was just as afraid. The knowledge bolstered Sandi’s confidence, somehow – now they were on equal ground. And judging by the glow that still shone in Josie’s eyes when they met Sandi’s, she was just as eager to see what was in store.

 

Voices coming from the elevator behind them startled them, and they self-consciously dropped each other’s hands as they turned to look. Ryan and Colin came stumbling down the hall, giggling drunkenly and leaning on each other for support, already groping at each other’s clothes. From behind them came a somewhat less inebriated voice. “Down, boys! At least wait till we’re in the room.” Sandi blinked in surprise as Greg appeared, one hand holding a room key, the other resting lightly on Colin’s back in a proprietary gesture as he herded them all towards his room. Ryan and Colin – and Greg? She hadn’t known that.

 

“Oh, hey,” Greg said casually, seeing the two women. “Where’d you disappear to?” He didn’t appear terribly interested in their response as he fumbled with the key in the lock. He was hindered by Ryan, who had draped his arms heavily over Greg’s shoulders and was giggling into his ear even as he clutched at Colin, who grinned goofily and swayed precariously on his feet.

 

Josie looked as startled as Sandi, glancing from one to the other of the three men. She looked back at Sandi, eyebrow raised. Sandi held back sudden laughter and answered Greg.

 

“Oh – we just wanted to get out for a while.”

 

Greg frowned as the key wouldn’t turn. He pulled it out, turned it over, and tried again. “Yeah?” he replied vaguely. “Whatcha been doing?”   

 

Josie stepped forward, her arm brushing lightly against Sandi’s as she answered for them. “Oh, you know… Girl stuff.”