(FIC) You could be Happy Part X (Ry/Col)

[captanonymus.livejournal.com]

 The next part and hold on......it's an NC-17!!

I had amazing help from an extremely, and I mean *extremely* talented author and as soon as I get the go ahead, I will publish the name and give full credit for helping me out with my first NC-17!

Title: You could be happy X
Author; captanonymus
Rating NC-17
Main Character(s) and/or pairings; Ryan/Colin
Summary: The Challenge:  Ryan is desperate to be at Colin's 50th birthday, but his fear of flying is holding him back.  Write a story, as long or as short as you would like about what Ryan does to deal with this problem so that he can be with the man he loves on his very special day. 
wordcount: 2263

Last time on "You could be happy" 
 
 
 “What wouldn’t matter?” Colin was confused.

 

“If I do this…” And then suddenly, Ryan was on top of him, pressing him into the sofa and he was kissing him. It was wet, it was messy but Ryan tasted of red wine and home and Colin was lost.

He wrapped his arms around Ryan’s back and pulled him closer, delighted when he heard Ryan moan. He knew he should put a stop to it, Ryan still hadn’t recovered his memory and it would be like taking advantage but it was so difficult. He had longed to touch Ryan like this for weeks, years if you counted the time since their breakup and now that he was in his arms again, he didn’t have the will power. Ryan, meanwhile, had made short work of his shirt and was nibbling and licking his way down his chest. Colin was overwhelmed by the sensations Ryan’s tongue was evoking. It was only when Ryan started to work on his belt that Colin’s guilty conscience went into overdrive.

 

“Ry, stop, please…”

 

“Let me do this for you Col, I want to…..You’ve been so good to me. Let me make you feel good”

 

“No please…Ry…..you don’t have to do this I…..” Colin tried to get away from the exquisite torture Ryan was inflicting on him but Ryan was pinning him down with one hand, whilst his other hand was stroking him, making him harder than he had ever been in his life.

 

“You want this Col, you know you do…Let me make you forget about your fiancé” Ryan’s eyes were blazing with a mix of determination desire and possessiveness.

 

“No, Ry, please don’t, please….you don’t know what you’re doing…..Oh God, Ry……”

 

Evidently, Ryan *did* know what he was doing…….

 

He had slipped his hand in Colin’s underwear and started stroking him in the most maddeningly slow rhythm that had Colin gasping for breath within minutes. Ryan was alternately biting and licking his neck and Colin just knew he’d have bruises in the morning, a thought which turned him on even more.

 

He couldn’t help moaning Ryan’s name, something Ryan apparently appreciated because he sped up his strokes and increased the pressure.

 

“That’s right Col, it’s me doing this to you, not Brad, me” and, as if to punctuate his words, Ryan moved downwards, flicking his tongue over a nipple and slightly sucking it. How the hell did he manage to unbutton my shirt? Colin thought briefly, before all conscious thought left him when Ryan took him into his mouth. The sudden change to hot, wet heat almost made Colin explode and the only reason he managed to hold it off, was because he didn’t want it to end. He had waited years for Ryan to come to him like this and he wanted to savour it but he was fighting a losing battle. He wanted to beg Ryan to take him, hard, fast, whatever Ryan wanted….I’m yours Ry…always….but please….don’t leave me again….but he managed to bite his tongue and all that came out was a breathless “Oh Ry……”

He was bucking his hips, straining for release but Ryan’s hand was wrapped firmly around him, preventing him doing exactly that.

 

“Ry, please…let me….I need to….Please…”

 

But his pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears as Ryan pulled him even further into his mouth and swallowed. At the same time, Ryan’s other hand, the one that wasn’t staving off Colin’s impending orgasm, was stroking that little sweet spot, right there, just behind his balls and when a finger started to circle his opening, Colin thought he’d go mad with desire. He was bucking into Ryan’s mouth, while at the same time trying to impale himself on the finger that was teasing him.

 

“Oh god….Oh Ry…..Ry….”

 

Just as Colin thought he couldn’t handle anymore stimulation, Ryan released the hand he had wrapped so securely around him, and the finger that had previously merely been teasing him, plunged in and hit his prostate….

Colin screamed, convulsed and spilled himself down Ryan’s throat in one of the most intense orgasms he has ever had. His entire body went from bowstring tight to boneless in a matter of seconds and Colin felt he had never been more aware of every nerve ending in his body. He was vaguely aware Ryan was licking him clean and when he looked down to check, he was greeted by the intensely erotic sight of Ryan, with his eyes closed, swiping his talented tongue up and down his shaft.

He reached out and pulled Ryan up his body until their noses touched. He saw the insecurity in Ryan’s eyes and Colin realised he had never loved him more than he did now…..

He lowered his mouth to Ryan’s and kissed him, leaving no doubt as to whether or not Ryan’s attentions were welcome. Ryan responded in kind and Colin could taste himself in their kiss. He moved his hand and stroked the impressive bulge that had formed in Ryan’s trousers. He cupped him and squeezed him gently, delighted when he heard Ryan groan…..

 

“Col, I need to….please let me…..” Ryan was panting, his voice sounding strained. Even though Ryan wasn’t explicit, Colin knew what he wanted. He turned on his stomach and Ryan spooned behind him, his arousal evident. He felt more than heard Ryan unbuckle his belt and for a second he had ex-rated visions of himself, lying face down on the sofa, his hands tied together with the leather belt….He felt Ryan nudge him and, loose and relaxed from his own release, he pushed back against him. Ryan seemed hesitant, which surprised Colin, so when he felt him nudging his opening again, he pushed back harder. They gasped in unison as Ryan slipped in, filling him completely…

Colin expected Ryan to be rough and fast, like he used to be in the past sometimes but instead, he was gentle and slow, making sure he wasn’t hurting Colin and suddenly, it didn’t feel like just having sex, it felt like making love and coming home. Ryan was draped over his back, his breath ghosting over Colin’s ear and Colin thought he could hear Ryan moan and whisper

 

“Oh Col….love you….love you so much…Oh Col……” but he knew that was just his mind playing tricks on him.

 

Even though their lovemaking was slow, within minutes, Colin felt his arousal building again. He briefly wondered what happened to the 18 year old whose body he was obviously borrowing…. Then he felt Ryan quicken, twist and plunge even deeper and he was swept up in the waves of desire that washed over him.

 

“More Ry, harder…do it….ahh….” Colin knew he was babbling but Ryan seemed to understand him as he changed his pace and angle, hitting *that* spot deep inside Colin with every thrust.

 

“Oh Col…..Col….Col!” Ryan’s hand wrapped around him again and he squeezed him with *just* the right amount of pressure and as Colin’s muscles clenched around him, Ryan sank his teeth in Colin’s shoulder and they were coming simultaneously, blissfully aware of the effect they were having on each other. Colin knew they needed to move and get cleaned up but didn’t want to… Ryan’s warmth and weight on him felt so reassuring, that despite his best intentions, he felt himself drift off to sleep……

 

When Colin woke up the following morning, they were still on the sofa, curled around each other at impossible angles. Ryan was still out cold, which Colin reasoned was probably due to the vast amount of alcohol consumed and the mind-blowing sex. Colin licked his lips and swallows. It had been amazing. Ryan had been uninhibited and had thrown himself into it with gusto. It had brought back so many memories……

 

He padded into the kitchen to start on breakfast. Coffee and eggs sounded good. He was so engrossed in his preparation that he didn’t hear Ryan approach and the sound of his voice startled him slightly. He looked up and saw Ryan standing in the doorframe, mussed, rumpled and utterly delectable.

 

“Hey Col….”

 

“Hey Ry…”

 

“Look…..about last night…” Ryan dragged his hand through his hair and Colin knew what it meant. Ryan was embarrassed and didn’t know how to let him down gently….

 

“I know….you were drunk, you didn’t know what you were doing….” Suddenly he couldn’t stand being this close to Ryan and he walked back into the living room in an attempt to get away from him but Ryan followed him…

 

“I’m in love with you….”

 

Colin was so caught up in his own version of events that it took a few seconds for Ryan’s words to percolate.

 

“What?...”

 

Ryan’s face had turned an interesting shade of red and there was the hand-through-the-hair gesture again.

 

“Yeah, I know…look…I’m really sorry I couldn’t control myself last night…..that’s why I want to move out. I just find it too difficult to be around you….I know you have a fiancé, but I won’t say anything to anyone….” Ryan looked at him properly for the first time since the conversation started. He noticed the bite marks on Colin’s neck and he reached out a hand to touch, Colin flinched and Ryan withdrew, a look of horror in his eyes “Oh God, I didn’t hurt you, did I? Oh god, Col, I’m *so* sorry……Oh God……I remember…..you said no…. I didn’t listen…I…Oh God…..” he sank onto the sofa, his head in his hands.

 

“You didn’t hurt me….”

 

Ryan looked up “Are you sure? You’re not just saying that?”

 

“No, I’m not just saying that….you didn’t hurt me”

 

He saw Ryan exhale forcefully.

 

“But I have to ask Ry…..why?”

 

“What do you mean, why?”

 

“Why last night? Why do you think you’re in love with me?”

 

“I don’t know Col….You’ve just been so kind to me….. I just felt so comfortable around you, even in the beginning, when I didn’t really know you…and then, when we arrived in Toronto and I moved in with you, after a while I started having dreams…”

 

“Dreams?”

 

“Yeah……of us…..kissing and, you know…doing other things….what I did last night,…. I dreamt all of that… “ Ryan looked utterly miserable “ I even dreamt I bought you that ring…” he pointed at the ring on the cord around Colin’s neck.

 

“So….are you saying you think you’re in love with me because you’ve dreamt about us?” Colin tried very hard to keep his voice neutral but inside he was dancing the samba *and* the Can Can at the same time…..Could Ryan be regaining his memories without realising it?

 

 “No, I…..I don’t know….I can’t explain….but the dreams started *after* I discovered I had feelings for you. “ 

“Oh….” Colin had a hard time trying to stay calm. What he really wanted to do was scream like a girl, fling his arms around Ryan’s neck and indulge in an uninterrupted love-fest for three days, or until the food ran out, whichever came first. He was pretty sure Ryan had baked enough reindeer shaped cookies for Christmas to feed a small country for a year, so the love-fest was a pretty safe bet……   

 

“I’m sorry” Ryan said again.

 

“What are you apologising for? Last night? Moving out?” Colin just wasn’t sure anymore.

 

“I know I should be sorry about last night, but I can’t be Col……Despite the consequences, it was wonderful. I’m sorry I ruined our friendship….the friendship we had before I lost my memory I mean. I told you before that I’m no longer the Ryan you used to know….I..”

 

“You’re better” Colin whispered.

 

“What?”

 

“You are nicer to me now…” Colin said softly, blushing slightly. He hated how weak he sounded. Like every victim Meryl Streep has ever played…The only thing missing is some ridiculous accent…

 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t nicer to you before, I should have been. You deserve it. I hope your fiancé knows that too ”  

 

“Oh, I think he does….”

 

“I know I have no right to ask you this because you said you love him very much but…” Ryan hesitated “If things don’t work out between the two of you, do you think you’d….what I mean is….would you…..” Ryan’s voice tailed off.

 

“Would I what?”

 

“Would you go on a date with me?” Ryan ducked his head, obviously embarrassed “I know you’re not attracted to me and all and that last night was a one off but…..”

 

“Ry, I never said I wasn’t attracted to you…”

 

“Huh?” Ryan looked confused “You did, you said I wasn’t your type…”  

 

“No, *you* said you weren’t my type, I never said anything like it…”

 

“So, are you?”

 

“Am I what?”

 

“Attracted to me?” Ryan sounded hopeful and Colin was torn. Should he tell Ryan the truth or would it be better to wait until Ryan had recovered his memory……

 

“Tell me about the dreams you’ve been having”

 

“Sorry?” The sudden change of topic obviously surprised Ryan.

 

“Tell me about the dreams, were they good? Bad?”

 

“Some were nice, but I had some bad ones. I dreamt about the accident…..”

 

“You dreamt about the accident?”

 

“Yeah, I dreamt I was driving to Toronto to come and see you. We’d had an argument and we hadn’t spoken but I missed you so much and I wanted to make up with you, so I bought you that ring “Ryan pointed at the ring on the cord.

 

“What were you going to do with the ring?”

 

Ryan blushed “I don’t want to say”

 

“Oh come on Ry, it was just a dream…”

 

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable..”

 

“I won’t be uncomfortable Ry….” Colin was getting more and more excited, it seemed Ryan *was* regaining his memory but he was realistic enough to recognise that so far, Ryan hadn’t told him anything he hadn’t told Ryan. He had told him about their argument when they went to see the doctor, Ryan had seen the ring he was wearing and he had told him he was scared of flying which would have explained why he was driving to Toronto. He needed something he hadn’t told Ryan yet……

 

“I was going to ask you to marry me…” Ryan blushed again and Colin thought he had never looked more adorable.

 

“That’s very sweet…” He could have dreamt that because he thinks he’s in love with me…..It might not be a memory….

 

“I didn’t think it was going to work though….so I wrote you a letter, saying I was sorry I had been such a bastard…..are you alright Col, you look pale”

 

“Yeah….yeah…I’m fine Ry….” Oh god…..could it just be a coincidence?

 

“Does it bother you I’ve dreamt about you in such detail? “ Ryan looked embarrassed.

 

“No, no…..not at all……I…..don’t know what to say…”

 

“It’s alright Col, you can’t help who you fall in love with and I know you’re already spoken for…..I just thought you should know I think the world of you and that I’ll be happy with whatever you want to give me.…… “ The sincerity and humility in Ryan’s voice nearly floored Colin. True, he had loved Ryan before but he had seen a different side of him since his return and it made him more weak-kneed than a day old colt. He couldn’t let it continue like this. He had to tell Ryan…..

 

“Ry, I’ve got to tell you something…..”