Short Story, How Colin Learned To Stop Worrying And Love, PG-13

[simplysly.livejournal.com]

Title: How Colin Learned To Stop Worrying And Love
Author: simplysly 
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ry/Col
Summary: Ryan didn't touch Colin for a taping, and Colin wants to find out why.

If Colin had stopped to think about it, he would have considered it odd how much Ryan touched him, and how much he enjoyed it.  But, he didn't stop to think about it.  Just went with the flow.  On stage he was too caught up in the moment, and the scene.  Off stage, well, there was always something going on, some reason why it just wasn't the time to think of such things. So, when Wayne asked him if something was wrong after a taping, Colin was honestly surprised.

"No,” he responded automatically. Then, after a moment of thought, “why would there be?"

"You and Ryan seemed a bit... off."  There was something that Wayne was reluctant to say, and Colin gave the other man his full attention.

"I don't understand.  It was the same as it always is."  Wayne looked uncomfortable.

"It's just," Wayne sighed.  "You know that I love you guys, and I'm not judging you or anything, but the next time you guys fight, please leave it off stage."

Colin was more than a little shocked.  "Fight?  Ryan and I haven't fought.  What on earth would give you that idea?"

"He always touches you.  Shoulder, hip, hand, whatever, he always finds an excuse.  Today, nothing."  Colin blinked.  Surely that couldn't be right.

"There's no way he touches me that often."  Colin would have noticed, wouldn't he? Wayne just looked at Colin in disbelief.  Oh. Colin attempted to recover his equilibrium. 

"Well, I'm sure it's nothing.  I'll, uh, have a talk with Ryan."  Colin smiled at Wayne and patted his arm reassuringly.  "You'll see, it'll be fine."

Wayne didn't look as if he completely believed Colin, but he exited the trailer anyway, leaving Colin to finish taking off the stage clothes and makeup.

Colin picked up the wash cloth, fully intending on removing the cake-like makeup that really was uncomfortable, before setting it back down with a sigh.  He sat down on the chair in front of the mirror and rubbed his temples. And to think, he had actually thought it had gone well today.

Colin tried to remember how many times Ryan touched him in the course of a normal day, and quickly found it exceeding his (admittedly low) expectations.  How on earth did he not notice it?  A touch on the arm to get his attention, a squeeze of the shoulder for affection, the hugs, the random tapping of his leg when sitting next to each other, how Ryan would physically move him out of the way if Colin was blocking his path.  So many touches, more than Colin was touched by anyone except for Deb (and even that was more when they were alone than any other time).  Frustrated, Colin grabbed the washcloth again and roughly scrubbed his face clean of the stage makeup.  He stood and began to quickly change his clothes; if he hurried, Colin might be able to catch Ryan before he left.

Dressed in his normal clothes (and very thankful that he was done with the loud shirt until tomorrow), Colin made his way to Ryan's trailer, doing his best to avoid anyone who might distract him from his task. He ducked behind a low wall as he heard Drew approaching, talking to Dan about the next day's line up.  He held his breath as they paused just on the other side of the wall, and was thinking up various excuses (Me? Oh, just tying my shoe, you know how it is.  Or maybe, hey! I'm hiding from the fangirls, who let them in, anyway? someone had better go save Wayne!) when they finally moved on.  He released the breath in one long sigh, and relaxed.

"Hey, what are you doing back here?"  Colin jumped and gave a small (manly) shriek. He clutched his heart and looked up at the man who scared him. 

"Holy shit, Greg! Don't do that!" The other man only chuckled and leaned further over the wall to look down at Colin, who frowned up at him. 

"Hey, I'm not the one hiding behind walls when our host and our illustrious, beloved producer happen by."   Colin glared at him. 

"I was attempting to get to Ryan before he left.  So, distractions, not so good right now."  Colin stood and began to brush himself off. Greg lost his jovial demeanor and actually looked serious. 

"About that, is everything peaches and cream between you two, or am I going to have to pull out my armchair psych degree?"  Colin threw his hands up in annoyance. 

"Why do people keep asking that!  We're fine, we haven't fought, and really, I would like to think that we're professional enough for it not to matter even if we had!"  Greg raised his eyebrows and held his hands in front of him placatingly.

"Whoa! Hey now, I'm just asking.  Things didn't seem all right out there today, and I just wanted to see what was up.  Come on, this is me.  You've known me for how long now?  What's the what?"  Colin pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

"You're right, I'm sorry.  It's just that Wayne was asking me that earlier, and he brought up something that I hadn't noticed.  Anyway, I really have to talk to Ryan, so, I'll see you later, all right?”  Greg was saying something, but Colin was already moving off, intent on getting to Ryan's trailer.  There were technicians and make up people moving all around the trailers, and Colin made sure to duck out of the way of any one he recognized, humming the theme to Improbable Mission as he went. 

Finally, at long last, Ryan's trailer (the back of it, at least) was in sight, and wonder of wonders, there was a light on inside.  With the end in sight, Colin began to move faster, and that's when the unthinkable happened.

Drew, who had apparently finished talking with Dan, stepped out in front of him.  "Hey buddy!  How are you doing?  Great show today, huh?"

Colin smiled politely, but inside he was screaming 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!'.  You see, Drew was one of those people that once they had their conversational claws in a person, wouldn't. let. go.  In fact, it was nearly impossible to leave a conversation with Drew before he was finished without hurting his feelings.  The only sure fire way that this had ever been done was having someone else call either him or his conversation 'partner' away on some 'emergency'.  Unfortunately, Colin didn't see that happening any time soon.

"Yeah, Drew, it was great.  Listen, uh, I really have to..."

"Yeah, and that thing that you and Ryan did during Sound Effects, man, if I had half the talent at improv that you guys do, well, I'd be one hell of a talented guy.  There was something sorta off today, but Dan and I agreed that we can probably make up for it tomorrow.  Not that you guys were bad or anything, just not quite up to your usual level.  Is everything ok between you two?  How are your wives?"

Colin whimpered.  Even worse than conversational Drew, was caring Drew.  Caring Drew really wanted to make sure everything was all right, and he would follow a person around until they finally caved and told him what the problem was.  To make it worse, Drew often managed to fix the problem, so it wasn't as if people could completely blow him off when he tried.

"No, uh, everything's fine.  Just had an off day, I guess.  Really, I should be..."

"Well, you know that if you or Ryan ever need to talk, I'm here for you buddy.  And, uh, if it's something, you know, personal, between you two... well, I can be discrete.  That's all I'm saying.  I mean, you guys are my friends, and I want you to be happy."

This was the second time (or was it third?  Colin sometimes had a hard time working out what Greg was really saying) that someone had implied that there was something personal going on between him and Ryan.  What, did everyone assume this about them?  A hand was placed on Colin’s shoulder, and it squeezed lightly before returning to just resting.

“Hey, Drew.  Listen man, I had a question about the shoot tomorrow.”  It was Greg, again, and the look he was giving Colin seemed to say “get out while you can! don’t let my sacrifice to have been in vain”, so Colin gave him a slight nod in recognition, and while Drew was distracted, he made a break for the trailer.

The light was off now, but perhaps Ryan was still inside.  Colin raced around to the front and pounded on the door, but heard nothing from the interior.  Fuck.  Ryan didn’t seem to be in sight either, not that it really meant much sense the trailers were laid out in something like a maze (supposedly to make it harder for someone who didn’t belong to find the person they were looking for, but Colin thought it was more in payback in having to have the trailers in the first place).  Still not quite giving up hope, as Ryan probably hadn’t gotten that far, Colin hurried down the main row, casting looks down each aisle, trying to catch a glimpse of Ryan’s tall frame.

It was getting later, and there were fewer people out milling around then when Colin had started.  He reached the edge of the trailer section and sighed.  It looked like he had missed Ryan completely, the other man was probably half way home by now (which, if Colin was honest with himself, was where he should be also).  Well, fuck.

A hand fell onto his shoulder, and for the second time that day, Colin jumped and let out a small (manly! totally manly!) shriek.  He spun around to find

“Ryan?!?! I thought that you had left!”  Ryan smiled at him, and Colin instantly felt better.  He made a mental note to examine that further later.

“I had, but realized that I had forgotten my wallet.”  He held up the offending object as proof.  “Then, I saw you looking for someone, and thought I might be able to help.”

“Oh, I was, uh, looking for you actually.”  Damn it, he was never this nervous talking to Ryan.  It was Ryan for goodness sakes, Ryan who was his best friend and who he had known for more than 20 years.  He pulled himself together.  “Wayne said something to me in my trailer earlier that got me thinking.”

Ryan’s eyes darkened at the mention of Wayne.  “Oh?”  Colin could tell that he was purposefully trying to keep his voice light, and frowned slightly.

“Yeah, we were talking and he mentioned how strange it was that you hadn’t touched me today.”  Ryan smirked as he purposefully looked to where his hand was still resting on Colin’s shoulder.  “On the show, idiot.”

“What about it?”  Ryan tilted his head in confusion and Colin was surprised to feel himself blushing.  Deep breath, he reminded himself.  Just breathe deeply and tell Ryan... what?  Ok, so he hadn't really thought this through.  Ryan was staring at him, worry beginning to creep into his expression.  It was then that Colin knew that perhaps, it didn't really matter.

"And I missed it, you goof."  Colin stepped closer and bumped shoulders with Ryan.  He wrapped an arm around Ryan's waist, and felt Ryan's long arm do the same about his shoulder.

"Ah, well, we can't have that, now can we."  They began to move through the trailer maze to the parking lot.  Colin grinned; it didn't matter why Ryan touched him, as long as he did. 

They walked and talked ("Did you see that Greg had been shanghaied by Drew?"  "It's all for the greater good, my friend, all for the greater good."), and gradually Colin began to relax, so that by the time they reached their cars, he was as at-ease as he had ever been.  They paused then, and just as the silence was getting to be too much, Ryan spoke.

"So, why did you really want to see me tonight?  It couldn't have been about the touching thing."

"No, you're right."  Theirs were some of the last remaining cars, and Colin was glad that he (or was it Ryan?  he didn't remember any more) had the foresight to park underneath one of the lights.  Ryan had eased slightly away from him, and Colin found himself missing the warmth.  There were so many reasons why this was a bad idea, but Colin still found himself leaning closer and tilting his head up until he met Ryan's lips with his own.  It was awkward, as Ryan obviously hadn't been expecting it, and for a second it was just like one of their stage kisses.  Then Colin parted his lips, and everything changed.  When they finally parted, both of them were breathing slightly heavier than normal, and Colin was proud to see that Ryan's pupils were dilated.  He grinned up at the taller man.

"Night, Ryan.  I'll see you tomorrow."  Colin had just gotten his car door unlocked, when he was spun around and pressed flat against his car.  He opened his mouth to say something, and it was covered and claimed by Ryan's, again.

They were both late getting home that night, but neither of them cared.