Fic: Overcome, Day Ten

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, here I am again, starting a new 'Survivor' day for the second time in a row. Do not adjust your computer screens, because kalimyre said it was okay.

And that's good enough for me. *g*

So, Day Ten... in which there will be an Immunity Challenge and assorted other things.







Overcome

By emilyfairy and kalimyre

Category: First time, AU, sheer crack

Rating: possibly NC-17, if we can get away with it *g*

Pairing: Ryan/Colin

Summary: Ryan and Colin on Survivor. No, really.

Day One | Day Two | Day Three | Day Four | Day Five | Day Six | Day Seven | Day Eight | Day Nine




Colin wakes to rhythmic drumming on his back. He rolls over, and jumps a little when he sees Dave's crocodile smile. "Good morning, Colin!" he exclaims, moving the beat to Colin's shoulder without breaking it.

"What are you doing?" Colin asks, blinking. He's not annoyed exactly, just surprised.

"Ryan's heartbeat," Dave says. "I learned it yesterday. I thought you'd like to wake up to his heart. Like a puppy with the alarm clock!"

Colin bites back a smile, torn between laughing and giving Dave a big hug. "Thank you," he says, settling for an affectionate pat on the arm.

"Are we going to play today?" Dave asks hopefully. "I still haven't shown you Wal-Mart!"

"Well, kind of," Colin says. "I think we're doing an immunity challenge today, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. And Dave's team is going to win again. Right?"

"We'll see," Colin says, feeling a little guilty.

He hates the thought of blowing the challenge on purpose, especially when there are so few of them left already... But he has to see Ryan, has to touch him, make sure he's all right. And he can't do that if he's here.

Dave's stomach growls. "I'm hungry! Maybe I'll be a bear this morning." And he gets up and lumbers out of the tent, looking for all the world like a bear off to forage for some breakfast.

Colin shakes his head and lets his smile free. Dave is one of a kind, that's for sure.

"Colin!" Dave exclaims, peeking his head into the tent. "There's no one up yet! Can you help Dave with breakfast? Do we have cereal? I miss Lucky Charms!"

Colin sighs and stretches, getting to his feet. "I don't think we have cereal," he says. "But I'm sure I can come up with something."

"Yay!" And as Colin puts on his t-shirt, through the tent flap he can see Dave cavorting around, bending his arms and legs. "I'm a dancing bear! Like the rainbow ones on the bumper stickers with the funny spiky collars! I'm a dancing bear and I need my Lucky Charms!"

Colin turns away for a moment, trying to compose himself. He wonders if Dave would be any good at improv. He thinks maybe he'd like to teach Dave a few games. Dave likes to play after all, and improv's basically one long game of make believe.

"All right, I'm coming," he says. "I can't promise you Lucky Charms, but I'll see what I can do."



More comedy stylings of Dave... What can I say? He amuses me. *g*

Emily :)

Comments

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Dave! *pets him* I love the heartbeat thing too, that's so sweet. I think he'd be good at the really freestyle games of improv, not so much with the more structured ones. But it'd be fun to watch the guys teach him!

~~~

Colin makes oatmeal for breakfast, and especially for Dave, he picks raisins out of the trail mix and mixes them in his bowl, telling him they're special healthy Lucky Charms. Dave wrinkles his nose and says healthy doesn't taste as good, but he eats anyway, obviously too hungry to complain.

He asks Dave questions while they eat, because Dave never fails to surprise him, and sometimes his answers are funny and sometimes they're just baffling. Colin especially likes Dave's choice of favorite color--"Water!" he says cheerfully. "That's Dave's favorite."

"Oh," Colin replies, "what color is that?"

Dave stares at him as if this is a dumb question. "It's water-colored."

And, in a somewhat disturbing turn of events, Colin thinks that actually makes sense.

Gina wanders out to join them eventually, and Shannon is the late riser this morning, remaining a lump under her blanket well after they've all finished breakfast. Colin brings her bowl of oatmeal to her, shaking her shoulder gently, and she emerges from the covers in a tangle of frizzy red hair and sleep blurred features.

He wisely waits until he is down by the river and out of earshot to laugh. The morning swim is quiet, and he washes methodically, thinking of swimming with Ryan; wide, long hands sliding water over his chest, arms around him, warm through the cool water, floating together. When his throat starts to hurt, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Then he just looks at the water, trying to decide what color it is, until the knot in his chest loosens and his breathing eases.

Dave splashes up behind him and flings droplets of water at his face, and he ducks, lifting a hand automatically. "Hey," he protests, although it's hard to be mad at Dave's wide, happy grin.

"Time to play!" Dave announces. He circles Colin like a shark, low and quick in the water, swimming like a fish. (Or a crocodile, Colin thinks.)

"No thanks," Colin says, eying him carefully. He still remembers the way Dave snatched him around the legs from underwater that time he nearly did something foolish with Ryan in the river.

"But it's time," Dave insists, tugging at his hand. "Dave's team has to go win now."

Colin looks to the shore and Gina and Shannon are there, dressed and waiting. "Oh, the challenge," he says, allowing Dave to pull him. "Right."

He throws a shirt on, but doesn't bother to change his river soaked shorts; the day is already hot even this early, and he knows they'll be mostly dry by the time the hike to the challenge field is done.

"So," Gina says, falling into step beside him. "What do you think it'll be today?"

Colin shrugs. "Nothing too hard, I hope," although he hopes nothing of the sort. If it's something genuinely hard, he'll have an excuse for losing.

"Yeah," Gina says, and her glance is knowing. "I wonder how Ryan's doing."

Colin says nothing and watches his feet carry him down the path, not meeting Gina's eyes. He's usually good at keeping a blank face, but right now he knows his expression will give away too much.

Gina pats him on the shoulder and increases her stride, taking point in their little procession. Colin watches her, and thinks she'll make a good leader after he's gone.

~~~

One more immunity challenge! *g* You can lead up to it and then sham if you want, because I've got a few ideas. I'm thinking a relay race, something where the smaller size of their tribe will be a disadvantage.

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

LOL! Dave's favorite color is water! That totally makes sense! *nods*

And I love Colin's bowl of healthy Lucky Charms. *bg*

And Colin remembering Ryan swimming with him... Oh. *huggles him*

***

Dave dances down the path, drumming on Shannon's head and shoulders. Shannon giggles and brushes him away halfheartedly, but Dave keeps coming back, and she eventually gives up.

"Dave's team!" he yells. "Dave's team is coming! One!" He taps Shannon's shoulder once. "If by land! Two!" He taps Shannon's head twice. "If by sea!"

"Well, I'm sure if they didn't know we were coming, they must know now," Gina grumbles, pretending to clean out her eardrums.

"One if by land, two if by sea!" Dave sings, prancing along. Shannon finally ducks away from him, and he falls into step beside Colin.

"It must be one," Colin says.

"One what?" Dave asks, genuinely perplexed.

Colin shakes his head, once again rendered speechless by Dave's bizarre mind. He wonders to himself if this is how Ryan feels when Colin comes up with some off the wall thing during Whose Line. He thought he had the market cornered on strange thoughts, but Dave... Dave is something else entirely.

"One is the loneliest number?" he says after a beat.

"Oh, I don't think one is lonely at all! One has lots of friends that come after him. And plus you can't have two without one first."

Colin nods, giving Dave a look of new appreciation. Dave is a blend of wisdom and naivety, adult and child. "You know, I never thought of it that way," he says.

"Not many people do," Dave says, and he runs ahead on the trail again, flapping his arms hummingbird style.

And Colin realizes that one doesn't have to be lonely after all.

***

This is shameless filler, 'cause you said you wanted to announce the challenge, but eh. *g*

Emily :)

[vega-pleiades.livejournal.com]

I love Dave so much. He is the sweetest guy ever. If anybody tries to give him his medication, they should be shot.

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Ah, Dave rocks so much. He's totally my favorite OC in this fandom. We made him together! He's like our baby. *g*

~~~

When they reach the challenge field, they're the first to arrive this time, and the film crew is busily working on setting up the overhead shots and running cables to power the sound system. Jeff Probst sits in a folding chair and watches, idly tapping his manicured fingertips on the armrest.

Colin approaches him, clearing his throat to catch Jeff's attention. "Excuse me," he says. "I was hoping you could tell me how Ryan's doing."

Jeff, in the automatic habit of long television performance, checks where the cameras are before he replies. Colin waits for him to figure out what he already knows (because he has his own deeply ingrained camera watching habit, after all), which is that they are currently off-stage, as it were.

"Sure," Jeff says quietly. "Although I don't have any real details, sorry, I know he's doing better. They were talking about moving him out of the medical tent and into one of the cabins, so he must be on the mend."

Colin nods, closing his eyes in relief for a moment. "Thank you," he says. "That's good to know."

"No problem," Jeff replies briskly, but he's already looking across the field, watching the other tribe approach. "Time to get ready," he tells Colin, jerking his chin toward the place where they're supposed to stand and listen to the challenge.

Colin moves obediently, and as he joins the little huddle of his tribe, Shannon asks, "Did he tell you anything about Ryan?"

"Yeah," Colin nods, "he said Ryan's doing better. They're even talking about taking him out of the medical tent and setting him up in a cabin." He pauses, frowning slightly. "We get cabins?"

"Once we're voted off, yeah," Gina replies. "Because we have to stay on the island. Didn't you pay attention when they explained all this stuff?"

Colin shrugs, but he's inwardly pleased, thinking of a private cabin he can share with Ryan. With indoor plumbing and a real bed and walls. Nice, thick walls. Hopefully with a locking door.

By then Maguela has assembled, still with their nearly full complement of six, which makes Orteza look small and straggly by comparison. Jeff stands in front of them and a crew person takes his chair away so it won't be in the shot. "Tribes," Jeff says, spreading his hands. "Orteza, Maguela, welcome. Maguela, I'll need to take the immunity necklace."

They hand it over, and Jeff holds it up. "This is what you are competing for today," he says. "Are you ready to hear your challenge?"

Both tribes make affirming noises, and Colin is aware that Gina is standing in front again, speaking for the tribe. She's already taken the leader's position, and Colin thinks again that she knows what's coming. It seems like she's accepted it, actually, which eases his guilt.

(Cut)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

(Continued)

"I hope you're all well rested," Jeff begins, "because this is a physical challenge. I know Orteza, at least, has been eating well," he adds, nodding to them. "Sleeping well, too, since you won that reward challenge, but you'll need that advantage today."

He turns, lifting his hands toward a cordoned off section of field, long, wide lanes defined with strips of colored tape. At one end of the lanes, there is a rough scaffold, with thick knotted ropes dangling at the end of each lane and triangular plastic flags hooked to the tops of the ropes. There are two ropes and two flags for each lane, one yellow and one red.

"You will run a relay race," Jeff says. "One person per lane will run to the end, climb the rope, remove the flag, and bring it back. Once they are back, they will tag the next member of their tribe, who will then take their turn running. The first tribe to collect all six of their flags and return them to base wins. Orteza, because you have fewer members, you must designate two people to run twice."

Gina glances at them, and then points to Dave and Shannon. "You're both the quickest," she says, and they nod.

Jeff watches this, then claps his hands together. "Does everyone understand the challenge?" And then, when everyone nods, he lifts a silver whistle to his mouth. "Take your places then," he says.

They all scramble to their positions, and Gina nudges Colin into going first. She meets his eyes for a long moment, he understands this is where she's drawing the line. By making him go first, he has less chance of sabotaging their run; if he went last he'd have a better idea of how much to slow them down but this way his involvement is over quickly. She understands what he wants to do and even accepts his choice, but obviously she doesn't intend to make it easy for him.

"Good luck," Colin mutters to her, a little darkly, and she nods.

"To you, too," she says. She takes her place fourth, giving Shannon and Dave the longest possible rest before their second runs. They stand poised at the starting line, waiting.

"On your mark," Jeff shouts. "Get set..." And then he blows the whistle, a high, sharp sound, and they're off.

~~~

Another made up challenge, whee! *g*

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, I get to write the action this time! :)

I love Colin finding out about the cabins... LOL. And picturing him and Ryan in their own private one. Of course. *nods*

***

Colin halfheartedly runs across the field, letting the guy from Maguela pull ahead of him. As he runs, he wonders just how much he can get away with. He considers pretending to trip, but he decides that would be pushing it. All the same, he really doesn't want their tribe to win this...

He wants-- no, needs-- to see Ryan. Even though he's relieved that Ryan's doing okay, he has to see for himself. And he admits that the thought of a private cabin with Ryan is quite the incentive. Who needs a million dollars? Hell, if this thing with Ryan works out, and they end up together, he'll have that and more.

Not that money's all that important to him anyway. He has pretty much everything he needs, and almost everything he wants. He knows that he's an incredibly lucky man, and he's humble enough to remember those struggling early days, waiting tables while he and Ryan both chased the dream.

Lost in thought, Colin slows even further. He can hear his tribe screaming at him, but he acts like he doesn't hear them. He knows it's selfish of him, but dammit, he's spent his whole life doing things for other people, giving himself freely. Ryan always makes fun of him, joking that Colin's got permanent footprints on his back. And anyway, he's allowed to be selfish, just this once.

The first Maguela guy is already making his way back down the rope when Colin reaches the scaffold. Colin stares up at the rope, circling it several times. He pretends like he's strategizing the best way to get up to the top, but he doubts he's fooling anyone.

His struggle up the rope isn't fake, however. Colin has always hated rope climbing. It brings back horrible memories of junior high gym class. All the kids laughing at him when he slid down the rope, and the gym teacher making him stay after to practice over and over until he got it right. He's never been the most athletic guy, and here he is, thirty-odd years later, palms sweating all over again, heart pounding at the thought of climbing this rope.

The rope burns underneath his hands, and several times he just dangles there, panting while he tries to encourage his legs to just move him a little higher. Finally he makes his way to the top, and he reaches out, grabbing the red flag.

He looks down and one of the women from Maguela is quickly approaching the scaffolding in the next lane. He grins, but quickly pulls it back, scolding himself for being so freaking obvious.

Oh, hell. He doesn't care anymore. He makes a good show of climbing back down the rope. Somehow it's always easier going down than coming back up.

"Come on, come on!" he can hear his team shouting as he runs back down the field towards them.

He collapses when he reaches them, and the flag falls on top of him. He closes his eyes, letting his heart slow, too exhausted to watch Shannon's first run.

By the time he feels well enough to sit up and look around, Shannon is sprawled next to him, and Dave is off. Dave runs like a roadrunner, legs flying, and Colin can't help but admire him. Gina and Shannon cheer, and even Colin lets out a little, "Yay!" when Dave reaches the scaffolding.

Dave and Shannon have managed to cut down Maguela's early lead significantly. The third Maguela woman, the tiny one from the earlier reward challenge, is just making her way down the rope. She jumps off, takes a tumble, and stands up, little legs pumping as she runs.

Dave shimmies up the rope and quickly makes it towards the flag. "Big Dave!" he screams as he waves it around, and then he seems to remember that he's not finished yet and he flies back down the rope.

(continued next part...)

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

(continued from previous part)

Dave quickly makes it back, and lounges next to Colin and Shannon, tongue hanging out like a puppy. He puts his head in Colin's lap and pants up at Colin. "Hi," he says. "Did Dave do a good job?"

"You did great," Colin says, unable to resist petting Dave's sweaty head.

Dave giggles and leans into Colin's touch, and Colin thinks that if Dave had a tail it would be wagging right now.

Gina stumbles a little in her run, and Maguela remains ahead as Shannon stands up, stretching in preparation for another run.

"Go Shannon!" Dave yells as Gina returns.

Gina glances over Colin, with Dave's head still in his lap, and flops beside them. "Oh," she breathes, clutching her heart. "I am too old for this shit."

"I know the feeling," Colin says, sighing.

Shannon comes back, only about twenty seconds after her Maguela counterpart. Dave springs up, and dashes off, on the heels of the final Maguela guy.

Colin wishes that he would've asked Dave to throw the challenge for them. Dave would've done it. But that wouldn't be fair. It's one thing for him to sabotage things. It's quite another to ask someone like Dave to do his dirty work. And Dave looks so happy right now, that Colin thinks, even if they do win, he can't possibly be angry about it.

Dave leaps up on the rope and throws himself up it, hand over hand over hand. Colin is amazed by Dave's athleticism, his wiry body perfectly suited for these types of challenges. Beside him, the guy from Maguela can't seem to get a good grasp on his rope, and Colin bites his lip, feeling conflicted. On the one hand, he'd like to see Dave win, but on the other hand, he still wants his tribe to lose...

Dave reaches the flag seconds before the guy from Maguela, and he hoots out a victory, one fist raised. The Maguela guy grabs his flag too, and they both come down the rope in tandem.

Dave jumps too early off the rope and takes a fall. It looks like he twists his ankle a little bit. Colin smiles, and then frowns. He doesn't want Dave to be hurt, after all. Dave shrugs it off, standing up, but he's limping slightly as he runs back down the field.

And the guy from Maguela pulls ahead, grimacing with the strain. He reaches his tribe, and they all let out a yell and rally around him, patting him on the back.

"Maguela wins!" Jeff says as Dave finally makes it back.

Dave's eyes are filled with tears.

***

Phew. That was the longest bit I've written in a while... *pants*

Emily :)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Oh Dave, honey. *pets him* Now he's going to think it's his fault. But I'm sure Colin can't go on letting him think that. *g*

~~~

There is a lot of hooting and hollering from Maguela, and Orteza gathers around Jeff mechanically to watch him officially award immunity to the other tribe. Colin doesn't really pay attention to the now familiar spiel about tribal council and immunity and so forth. He's watching Dave, who has his head down and is hanging back, away from the group. He sees a camera swinging around, trying to get an angle on Dave's face, and he glares, moving to block it.

Colin puts an arm around Dave's shoulders and draws him closer to the tribe, and Gina and Shannon pull in on him from the other side, bringing him to the center of their group. Dave is small, although Shannon is smaller, but with all three of them huddled close around him he's all but invisible, which seems to be fine with him.

"You did a good job," Colin murmurs to him as Jeff wraps up his speech and starts doing a question and answer thing with Maguela. Dave shakes his head, and Colin looks up to meet Gina and Shannon's accusing stares. He nods, accepting responsibility for this; he knows it's his fault.

"Orteza," Jeff says, turning to them. "How do you feel about losing immunity again this week?"

Gina steps up, moving in front of Dave so Jeff can't see him. "We're disappointed, of course, but we tried our best," she says diplomatically. "It was a close race."

Jeff nods and seems to sense the general dispirit of the tribe, because he lets the off the hook easily, with only a reminder of tribal council tonight. Then they're dismissed to make the long walk back to the campsite. Most of the cameras follow Orteza, but they've gotten accustomed to ignoring them by now.

"Are you all right?" Gina asks Dave once they escape the hot sun in the shade of the jungle.

Dave shrugs, but Colin still has his arm around him and can tell Dave is limping. "How's your ankle?" he asks, tilting his head down to try and meet Dave's eyes. "Did you hurt it?"

They only get another shrug and Colin sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. "Why don't you two go on ahead," he says to the girls. "I'll help Dave."

Gina and Shannon exchange a look, and then nod at him. There's a cool distance there that wasn't between them before, and Colin knows they're both a little angry with him for throwing the contest, more on Dave's behalf than their own. He expected that, though; it's a price he's willing to pay if it means getting back to Ryan.

Once they're out of sight (taking a couple cameras with them, leaving only one with Colin and Dave) Colin guides Dave over to a side trail and sits him down on a big rock. "Here," he says, lifting Dave's leg up. "Let me see."

Dave allows it silently, his gaze downcast, his face soft and expressionless. Colin wonders if this is a side of Dave's instability they haven't seen yet, this tendency to crash into depression or withdrawal. He removes Dave's shoe and examines his ankle, which does look a little puffy and tender, but Dave doesn't react when he rotates the joint gently from side to side. "Dave?" Colin prods. "Does that hurt?"

For a long moment Dave doesn't seem to hear him, and then he looks up slowly, staring at his ankle as if it doesn't belong to him. He shrugs and looks down again.

(Cut)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

(Continued)

Colin bites his lip and moves to sit beside Dave on the rock, wrapping an arm around his waist. "It's not your fault," he says firmly. "I'm the one that slowed us down. You did a great job and I hadn't messed it up, you would have won it for us. You nearly did anyway."

Dave shakes his head. "I fell," he mutters, and despite the defeated tone Colin is glad that he's at least speaking again.

"That was an accident," Colin replies. "And you were very fast. You were like a monkey."

Dave seems startled by that, giving Colin a wide-eyed glance. "A monkey? Really?"

Colin nods. "One of the really good climbers, with the long tail they can hold on with."

"Oh." Dave thinks about that for a moment. "Dave's never been a monkey before," he says.

"Well you're very good at it." Colin squeezes him, pleased when Dave leans against him easily. "It's not your fault we didn't win."

Dave frowns. "Then why didn't we?"

Colin opens his mouth and then shuts it again, eying the camera taking all of this in. But Dave is looking up at him with that open, bewildered face, and he can't lie to that. "Because I went too slow," he says plainly. "I didn't want to win. I messed it up on purpose."

Dave stares, blinking slowly, and he shakes his head. "Why?"

"Because I..." Colin sighs, wishing he had a reason that doesn't sound incredibly selfish. "I want to see Ryan," he admits. "I want to be voted off so I can see Ryan."

Dave's eyes widen. "You're leaving? You don't want to stay and play with Dave anymore?"

"It's not that," Colin begins, but Dave has already pulled away, rising to his feet. He actually looks angry for a moment and then he turns on his heel, limping rapidly off into the jungle, still only wearing one shoe. "Dave!" Colin calls after him, but he's as quick as ever and is soon out of sight.

Colin stares down at Dave's other shoe, still lying on the ground, and he picks it up. Then, automatically, he starts walking back toward camp.

~~~

Meep! Dave angst. But he'll come around eventually, right?

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Awww... poor Dave. *huggles him* I like how you had him react, and Colin's musings about how it must be part of his instability... And then my heart broke when Dave realized Colin was planning on leaving him!

He's just having a bad day...

***

Colin plods back to camp alone, cradling Dave's shoe in one hand. He feels horrible for what just happened. Hurting Dave is like kicking a puppy. He just... doesn't understand. And even though Colin knows that Dave is physically an adult, he's still so young...

And of course, when he arrives, Gina and Shannon aren't talking to him. They turn away in one motion, stopping their conversation, and walk down to the river. They keep their backs turned to Colin, but he can see them whispering furiously.

Colin sighs, and wishes now more than ever that Ryan was here to give him a hug and reassure him that everything will be okay. Although if Ryan was here, then none of this would've even happened in the first place...

He loves Ryan, and he needs to be with him. Is that so wrong? Why is everyone making him feel like the biggest asshole in the world?

Okay, yeah, he threw the challenge, but big deal. It's not as if he'd be able to concentrate anyway if he stayed out here. Not with Ryan gone.

Now he remembers why he hates being selfish... It's so much easier to just go along, make everyone else happy. Because when he does something like this, everyone just gets pissed off. And he likes it when people are happy. He likes it when everybody likes him. And now he feels totally and completely alone.

Still clutching the shoe, Colin walks back to his tent. He doesn't want to deal with this crap anymore, and hiding in his tent and sulking sounds like the perfect way to pass a couple hours.

He collapses onto the mattress, which is too big and too empty without Ryan. "I just want to see Ryan," he whispers to Dave's shoe. "Is that too much to ask?"

He prays that Dave will come around, at least, even if he can't leave on good terms with the girls. But then he remembers the look on Dave's face and he thinks that maybe he ruined everything.

He hates this stupid game and he wishes that he'd never let Ryan convince him to sign up for it.

And he closes his eyes, not sure if he intends to take a nap or not. He wraps Dave's shoe up in Ryan's pillow and hugs both of them to his chest.

And when sleep claims him, it's a sweet relief from all of the thoughts swirling through his head.

***

Just a little bit of Colin angst, don't mind me. *g*

I'm working on another little ficlet but I'm sure I can get more of this done in between... :)

After the new 'Whose Line' at 10:00 that is! *squee!*

Emily :)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Oh, Colin. He and Dave need to make up and cuddle because they could both so use a hug right now. *g*

Also, I squee with you over the new Whose Line. In 45 minutes! *dances*

~~~

Colin wakes suddenly, startled by hands gripping his wrists, pinning them over his head. He looks up and Dave is there, poised above him, staring down with an intent and slightly manic expression.

"Dave?" Colin says nervously. He tests the strength holding him down and finds Dave solid, and although he's light, he's got good leverage.

"Don't go," Dave says. "Don't leave. Dave wants to keep you."

Colin shifts uneasily, and Dave's knees squeeze in around his ribs. Dave is sitting on his chest and doesn't seem inclined to move.

"I'm sorry," Colin says. "I really am. I still like you, Dave."

Dave's eyes narrow. "You don't. You want to leave."

"Only to see Ryan," Colin replies quickly. "And... it's not forever. Eventually you'll be there too, and we can play again."

"Where?" Dave asks, and he still isn't moving, but Colin thinks the hold on his wrists loosens a bit.

"We're... camping right now," Colin begins, trying to figure a way to explain this that Dave will understand. "You remember how Matt and Eric used to be camping with us, and now they're not?"

Dave nods, wrinkling his nose. "I didn't like them. They were mean."

"I didn't like them either," Colin agrees. "That's why they're not camping with us anymore. They went to live somewhere else, and Ryan's there now. Tonight, I'm going to go live there too, but--and this is the important part, Dave--you get to come too. You get to come see us again."

Dave brightens, leaning back and sliding his hands down Colin's arms until they rest on his shoulders. Still holding him down, but at least his hands are free. "You'll take Dave with you? You won't leave him here alone?"

Colin hesitates, then sighs and shakes his head. "Not right away," he says. "Not tonight, but in a little while, then you get to come live in the same place with us. Can you just wait a little while?"

Dave's fingers curl around his shoulders, digging in slightly, and he scowls. "I know what that means," he says. "You tell Dave just a little while, we'll come back, we'll take care of you but then you never come back. Dave knows."

Very carefully, Colin brings his hands up to Dave's, pulling the other man's hands from his shoulders and then wrapping their fingers together. "I'm sorry that people lied to you," he says. "But I'm not doing that. Can you trust me?"

Dave blinks down at their joined hands, and then he studies Colin's face closely, biting his bottom lip. "You promise?" he asks. "You won't forget about Dave?"

"I promise," Colin says, nodding. "Okay?"

"Okay," Dave echoes, but it takes him a couple minutes to actually roll off of Colin, letting him up. Colin sits and rubs his chest where Dave's weight pinned him, feeling a little bruised, and Dave leans forward anxiously. "Was I scary?" he asks. "I didn't want to be scary."

"I know," Colin assures him. "It's fine."

Dave bounces a little, finally seeming to relax, although Colin notices he stays close, one hand resting on Colin's arm as if to prevent him from suddenly running away. "Do you want to play?" Dave asks eagerly.

"Sure," Colin says, and the happy smile Dave gives him is such a relief he doesn't even mind the sloppy kiss on the cheek.

~~~

Yay! Because I just couldn't stand to have them part on bad terms. *g*

Also, now it's only twenty minutes till new WL! Squeeee!

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Wow, that was a little creepy with Dave kinda reverting back a little bit to his medicated days, latching onto Colin like that.

But then redemption with the whole thing about Dave not wanting to be alone, and people abandoning him... *sniffs* Poor Dave. He probably doesn't have any family... Or maybe that's who he was talking about.

Ryan and Colin can be his family! *g*

***

Colin allows himself to be dragged by Dave down towards the river. "Let's skip rocks!" Dave exclaims.

Colin picks out several round, flat rocks from the shore. He dusts the sand off of them, and turns them over in his palms, enjoying the smooth texture.

Dave bends down and grabs a handful of rocks, no matter the shape, and hurls them into the river. "I'm not too good at this," he says, scratching his head. "Why won't they skip for Dave?"

When Colin throws his rock and it skips several times, Dave's eye widen. "How did you do that? Will you show Dave?"

Colin smiles and pats Dave's arm. "Sure," he says. "All you have to do is find a bunch of flat rocks like these." And he gestures to his stockpile.

Dave bends over, picking up one of the rocks and pinches his fingers around it, getting a feel for the size. "Flat like these?" he asks, setting down the rock.

He keeps his fingers held apart and hunches over the shore, comparing rocks against the width of his fingers until he finds a good specimen and holds it up triumphantly. "Lookit! Lookit what Dave found!"

Colin grins as Dave dances around. Watching Dave almost makes him want to dance too, and he lets himself go, body bouncing rhythmically up and down for a few beats. "Good," he says. "Now come on over here and I'll show you how to throw it."

Dave bounds over to him, rock clutched between his fingers to make sure he doesn't drop it. "Okay! I'm here!" he announces.

Colin shows Dave how to flick his wrists just right, with a little twist. After several tries, and a few more rock hunts, Dave manages to make one of his rocks skip.

"Dave did it!" he yells, going into another dance. He spikes one of his rocks like a football player in the endzone, and Colin slaps him five.

They spend a few more minutes skipping rocks together, with Dave doing a passable imitation of the plopping sound they make as they hit the water, and then he seems to grow bored all at once.

Colin's about to throw another rock when Dave snatches it out of his hand, flinging it towards the trees. "Now let's play jumprope!" he says. "Can you do Red Hot Pepper?"

"Um, I'd love to," Colin says, even though the thought of all that exercise on top of the workout he already got earlier at the immunity challenge makes his heart palpatate. "But we don't have any rope."

Dave shimmies up a tree and snaps off a vine. "We can use this!" he yells as he leaps back down, landing on his feet like a cat.

And Colin whimpers, wondering if he can distract Dave with something else...

***

More filler. LOL. I don't know where I'm going with this, so I'll hand it off to you. *g*

Emily :)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Playful Dave! Jumprope Dave! *loves on him* And yeah, I do get the feeling he was abandoned by people who told him they'd come back. :(

~~~

Colin thinks maybe he can tire Dave out (although the man is a ball of restless energy and Colin's not sure he ever actually gets tired) and he ties one end of the vine off to a branch, standing on the other end. "You first," he says, twirling the vine invitingly. Dave beams and jumps in, keeping the rhythm easily and belting out a nonsense verse at the top of his lungs.

The noise attracts Gina and Shannon, who appear from out of the main tent and stand a few feet away, watching. Shannon smiles openly at Dave, who appears to have lost his limp and all of his earlier unhappiness, and Gina's lips twitch upward a little too, although her expression cools when she looks at Colin.

Dave trips eventually and throws himself on the ground with a dramatic yell, lying sprawled and breathless, grinning up at the sky. "Did you see?" he asks, waving at Colin. "Did you see me? I went for a long time, did you see?"

"I saw," Colin says, dropping the vine. "You did great."

Dave nods and rolls to his feet, holding his fists straight up over his head. "Dave is the best," he says. "Dave wins!"

"Yay Dave!" Colin calls, just because he's getting into that playful place in his head where he can say goofy things like that and not feel like an idiot. It always comes from having someone to play with, someone who will act just as silly so he's not alone. "Victory dance," he decides, throwing his hands in the air and wiggling. Dave stares at him for a moment, baffled, and then he crows happily and joins in, bumping against Colin and weaving erratically.

Shannon laughs and quickly muffles the sound with a hand over her mouth. Gina cracks a smile, but her arms are still folded sternly. Colin catches Dave when he stumbles, holding him steady until he gets the idea that the dance is over now and quiets.

(Cut)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

(Continued)

"Hey," Colin says, offering the girls a hopeful smile.

"Hey," Gina replies. She turns to Dave and grins. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

Dave nods, bouncing on his heels. He slings an arm around Colin's shoulders and leans against him. "Colin says I get to come too!" he says brightly. "Not right away, but after I wait a little while then I get to stop camping and stay in the place with him and Ryan and those other guys that were mean but that's okay because I can be the crocodile and snap them up if I have to."

The girls look confused, so Colin elaborates, "I told him we'd see him again after he's voted off too."

"What if he wins?" Shannon asks, and Colin raises an eyebrow at her. She shrugs and tucks her thumbs into her pants pockets. "Hey, it could happen," she says.

"Then we'll see him after we're all off the island," Colin replies. "We're not just going to forget about him, you know. We've gotten a bit attached." He nudges Dave with an elbow, and Dave squirms as if it tickles.

"Oh!" Dave says, straightening suddenly. "Dave has to go get all his stuff ready. I don't want to leave anything behind." And he hares off into the jungle before anyone can protest that they're not leaving right this second.

Colin is left standing on the riverbank, watching Gina and Shannon, who stare back at him. He sighs, spreading his hands. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't want to do this."

"But you had to," Gina says, her expression softening a little. "I know that. That doesn't mean I'm happy about it, but I do understand."

Colin nods, glancing at Shannon. She sighs and gives him a wry smile. "That whole thing between you and Ryan was cuter before this," she says. "But I guess I understand too."

"Thank you," Colin says, and it's such a relief to not feel like everyone hates him. He looks at the ground for a moment, swallowing, and he knows if Ryan were here he'd come up behind Colin and put a hand on his shoulder, giving the silent understanding that he's so good at. And even though he knows it's only a few hours now until he sees Ryan again, he misses his friend with a sudden fierce ache that makes his chest hurt.

When he lifts his head again, the girls are giving him looks of actual sympathy, and he wonders how much is showing on his face. Probably a lot, but for once he doesn't try to rein it in.

"Go on," Gina says, nudging him toward his tent. "You should start packing."

~~~

So at least he's made his peace with the tribe. And the reunion is coming soon, yay! *g*

(Also, when I tried to post this it said the max was 4300 characters and I had 4500 and some, just barely over, which is why it looks like two weird little short bits. ^_^)

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Merf. Life keeps conspiring to keep me away from this story. Or maybe I'm just lazy. *g*

Heh. Have you ever seen the episode where Colin does this hilarious little random jumprope chant in "Scenes from a Hat"? It never fails to make me laugh out loud. :) That's what Dave and Colin playing jumprope reminds me of.

He's so "cerebral"! LOL. *pets him*

It's snowing here! /random

***

Colin glances around the tent. Some of Ryan's things are still scattered on the ground, because apparently the girls packed his clothes up for him, and they couldn't always tell which things were Ryan's and which were Colin's.

Upon closer inspection, Colin realizes he's missing a few of his things, but he doesn't mind. They'll straighten it out soon enough. And anyway, maybe Ryan likes having some of Colin's clothes, sweaty and grimy though they may be. Because it's like having a part of Colin.

Soon, he thinks to himself. Soon they'll make the trek to Tribal Council. Soon he'll see Ryan again. He wonders if he will have to walk all the way to wherever they house the rejected Survivors. He'll do it, of course, but he hopes he won't have to.

He wonders if he should vote for himself... He's not sure if Dave will vote for him, and he wants to make sure that he's voted out without any contest. And okay, maybe it's a little weird to vote for himself, but hey, his involvement in this whole entire game has been weird. He thinks he could write a book about this place, an entire novel about his experiences.

He gathers all his clothes, folding them to make them all fit into his backpack. He hopes that wherever he's going, there will be a washing machine. Even though he did laundry in the river fairly often, without any soap it didn't seem to make much of a difference. He finds he can't wait to wear clean clothes, clothes warm and fresh from the dryer and smelling like laundry detergent. He doesn't know how people survived for thousands of years without modern appliances.

Then again, in some ways, he enjoys living off the land. Sitting around a fire, talking and laughing, is one of the oldest human rituals in the world. He likes having no tv, no distractions to fill his mind. If any of that had been around, he's not sure he would've ever seriously thought about his feelings for Ryan. He might've missed the best thing that had ever happened to him.

He remembers the last time he did this, packing with Ryan, how he felt looking at the neat, empty tent. He remembers Ryan reassuring him that they'd be back.

He won't be back this time, he's sure of it. And he's okay with that, but a tiny part of him will miss being here. Lying next to Ryan, cuddling for warmth, closing his eyes and listening to the river bubbling and the fire crackling. All of the conversations they shared, most of them ending with the two of them sprawled on their backs laughing. Ryan's hands on him, Ryan's eyes crinkling into a smile, Ryan's heartbeat against his cheek when he woke up in the middle of the night...

It all adds up to home, Colin thinks. And the tent was home, for a little while. And Colin can remember back to when it was their little sanctuary against the world. When it was just the two of them, before they knew Dave, before they knew Gina and Shannon. Back in the beginning, when they thought everybody hated them and they couldn't wait to get out of there.

He remembers Ryan finding the extra piece of canvas and clutching it to his chest. He remembers the grin Ryan shot him, wide and speculative, the kind of grin that always made Colin want to say no immediately, just on general principle. He remembers pitching the tent, how Matt and Eric had loudly protested, but Ryan hadn't backed down.

He remembers the first time they stepped inside, both clutching their sleeping mats. "Home sweet home," Ryan had said, with just a touch of irony coloring his words.

All the same, it had become their home. And he has to admit that, looking around at the now empty tent, even though it isn't much, he'll miss it.

And he thinks that if he has Ryan with him, he can make anywhere his home.

***

Ahh, I went all introspective again. Hope you don't mind. *g*

Emily :)

[stilmoch.livejournal.com]

I don't know about anyone else, but I don't mind at all. He needed to come to the realization at the end, that Ryan is his home, regardless of their shelter. You write Colin-thought beautifully.
(I'm pretty sure the rules don't let you vote for yourself, but who's quibbling? *G*)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Aw, Colin, getting all nostalgic and thoughtful. *cuddles him* Also, I love that line about writing a novel about his experiences. *snerk* We already did it for him!

~~~

He's sitting in the empty tent with Ryan's pillow against his chest, staring off into space, when Gina lifts the tent flap and looks in at him. "Hey," she says. "Time to go."

He nods and gives her a quick smile. "I'm all ready," he says, shouldering his backpack.

Colin sees that Gina and Shannon have packed as well, for form's sake, but it looks like a half-assed job since a lot of their clothes are still scattered around the main tent. They're carrying just enough to make it look good. He glances around, but for once the camera crew seems to be taking a break, or maybe Dave is off being entertaining somewhere and they're filming that. "Before we go," he begins, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah?" Shannon asks, and Gina raises her eyebrows questioningly.

"I just wanted to say thanks," Colin blurts, and he's not even sure how to put it, how to say he's grateful for their support of him and Ryan, their encouragement, their understanding of his decision now. "For everything," he adds finally, spreading his hands.

It's Shannon who cracks first, sighing and giving him a hug, and then Gina is there too, laughing softly and muttering about how it must be impossible for anyone to stay mad at him. "You'll be okay," she says when she pulls back. "You both will."

Colin nods, and holds a hand up. "Um, one more thing... I know this is pretty much a given, but you are voting for me tonight, right?"

The girls exchange a glance, and for a moment Colin is nervous, because that would be the perfect revenge for throwing the contest, wouldn't it? Keeping him here deliberately anyway. Then Shannon smiles and pats his shoulder. "Of course we are," she says.

Then Dave comes bounding through the trees, knapsack on his shoulder bulging with odd shapes and what looks like a packet of leaves sticking out the top. "Dave is here!" he announces. He springs at them, catching Colin around the waist and actually lifting him for a moment, startled and off balance and laughing.

"Hi, Dave," Colin says, squeezing him a little. He'll miss Dave after tonight; life will be so quiet and predictable without him.

Dave beams up at him. "Follow me! Dave knows the way." And he's off again, heading up the trail toward Tribal Council.

"Take good care of him," Colin says as they follow slowly.

Gina snorts in amusement, and Colin glances over to her, raising his eyebrows. She shrugs and points up the trail at Dave. "Funny how things change, isn't it?" she says. "A week ago you didn't even like him. None of us did."

Colin nods and looks down, smiling softly. "A lot of things have changed," he mutters, and he feels Gina and Shannon edge closer beside him, walking so their shoulders brush together. And he thinks he's glad it's ending this way, on good terms, before it gets down to he infighting and politics and everyone for themselves last stretch. This little group was here with him through so much and although it's only been ten days, they're closer friends than people he's known for years.

"Hurry up, slowpokes!" Dave calls, zipping back to circle around them and then darting ahead again.

"You heard him," Colin says, picking up his pace, and he can feel his fatigue falling away, replaced with an eager anticipation, and impatience to have this over. Soon, he thinks, and he walks a little faster.

~~~

Almost reunion time, yay!

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Awww... I love how Colin makes up with the girls! *gets all sniffly* And he asks them to take care of Dave. :)

So sweet. :) I just love it when things work out.

Also, glad you noticed my little sly reference to Colin writing a novel about his Survivor experience. *g*

***

They arrive at Tribal Council just after dark and make their way over the bridge, torches lit and carried high. A good dramatic picture for the viewers back home, Colin thinks to himself. Man, he can't imagine how this is going to look to all of the people watching this. He's a little embarrassed, frankly, now that his time on the show is almost over. How is he going to explain this to his family?

Hi, remember Ryan? You know, "that tall guy I hang out with"? He and I are, umm... yeah, we just realized we're in love with each other. And...

Then again, he thinks to himself, it's not like he and Ryan are subtle. The girls managed to figure it out after only a few days of watching them together, and they hadn't even done anything at that point. Maybe his family already knows. Maybe everybody knows.

Colin blushes. Well, if they don't know by now, they'll certainly know when they watch the show. He wonders just how much footage the cameras managed to get of him and Ryan. He kind of wishes they would have been a little more careful, but then again... He kind of enjoyed all of the public flirting and groping. Maybe he's a closet exhibitionist.

They arrive at the Tribal Council set, and sit down in their customary semi-circle. Jeff is already sitting on the log in front of them, smiling broadly. His teeth are almost as white as Wayne's.

"Orteza," he says. "Welcome to Tribal Council. You're back here for the second time in a row. How does it make you feel to know you'll be down to only three members after tonight?"

"Relieved," Colin mutters, and Jeff shoots him a faintly amused look.

"I'm a little shocked that we've lost so many members so far," Gina breaks in. Jeff's eyes swivel towards her, and he nods. "But I still think we have a shot if we work hard. If we can just make it to the merge we'll be okay."

"Gina mentioned the loss of several members. I know one of your tribemates, Ryan, got sick by drinking some untreated river water. Colin, you and he were, uh, good friends. Has it been difficult for you to concentrate on the game these past couple days?"

Colin sighs. He knows where Jeff is going with this, and he hates being singled out in front of the group. However, somehow or other, Gina managed to keep her word about not letting the director approach him for an interview about his thoughts on Ryan, and he feels like he owes them something.

"Well," he says after a moment, scratching one ear. "I guess it has been a little difficult. All I can think about is getting back to him and taking care of him."

Beside him, Shannon sighs and he sees her nudge Gina.

"All right," Jeff says, and Colin thinks that wasn't quite the answer he was looking for. He probably wanted something more dramatic.

"Well," Jeff says, glancing at each of them. "Why don't we start the vote?"

***

Dun dada dun!

Emily :)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Oooh, voting time. Gonna make me do it this time, huh? *g*

~~~

Colin sits and watches the flicker of his torch and tries not to worry as first Gina and then Shannon cross to the voting area and write their votes. They agreed to vote for him and he trusts them; besides, even if they don't vote for him, there will be at least a tie. He thinks.

Colin frowns, glancing at Dave, who is sitting beside him and staring raptly at the fire. Dave did understand that Colin wants to be voted off, didn't he? Although it's not like Colin ever explained it to him in clear terms, so he really shouldn't assume.

"Hey," he whispers, nudging Dave with an elbow. There is a soft whir, and a cameraman zooms in on them eagerly. Colin glares at him.

"What?" Dave whispers back, except his whisper is loud and curious and not at all subtle.

Colin sighs. "Never mind. I'll tell you later."

Dave pats his head and bounces up, taking his turn at voting. Colin watches him closely, as if he can tell what Dave's writing by the motion of his arm, but the council area is set up to avoid just such a thing and all he sees is Dave's back and his brief, whispered diatribe to the camera. He's too far away to hear, but he catches Jeff giving Dave a weird look, and he wonders what exactly is being said.

Then it's his turn. He stands, taking a deep breath, and glances over his shoulder. Gina and Shannon are sitting side by side, and they meet his eyes, looking solemn. Dave passes him on the way back and bumps him deliberately, sneaking in a quick squeeze to his wrist. Colin is startled not by the touch itself, but by the slyness of it, the practiced covertness. Maybe Dave is smarter than they give him credit for.

He writes his own name in clear block letters, trying to remember if that's allowed. Just in case, he doesn't show the name to the camera, folding it and stuffing it in the ballot box hastily. Then he's walking back to join the others, hands tucked in his pockets to keep them from trembling.

Dave throws an arm around his shoulders when he sits back down, resting his head against Colin's arm, and Colin leans back into him, closing his eyes for a moment. One way or another, it will be over in a few minutes.

"Okay," Jeff says, dusting his hands together. "I will now count the votes. The person with the most votes will leave immediately." He pauses for dramatic effect, and one of the cameras sweeps their little tribe, recording their reactions. Instinctively, they all lean a little closer together.

"First vote," Jeff begins, pulling a paper out. He shows it to them, and Colin recognizes his own handwriting. "One for Colin."

They all nod impatiently, and Jeff unfolds the next vote. Colin's breath freezes in his throat when he sees not his name, but Dave's, written in a scrawl with a stick figure with what looks like a long, curling tail in one corner. He looks at the girls, but they shake their heads, frowning.

"I want to go with you," Dave whispers in his ear. Colin shakes his head, but there's no time to discuss it now.

"That's one vote for Colin, and one for Dave," Jeff says. "The third vote is..." He unfolds the paper, and Colin actually turns his head away, afraid to look. "Colin," Jeff says.

He feels a light hand on his knee and looks up to see Shannon patting him, smiling softly. He smiles back, then stares at Jeff, waiting.

"That's two for Colin," Jeff continues. "One more and Colin will be voted off."

(Cut)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

(Continued)

Another dramatic pause, and Colin wants to jump up and snatch the ballot box from Jeff's hands and just get it over with already. He curls his fingers around the rough wooden bench and grits his teeth. Jeff opens the last vote and considers it for a moment, and then he turns it toward them. "Colin," he says. "The tribe has spoken, and you have been voted off. Please bring me your torch."

Colin nods and stands, lifting his torch and biting his lip hard. It'll look good for the cameras, he's sure; everyone will assume he's upset at being voted off, and not that he's relieved he'll finally get to see Ryan. His tribe touches him as he walks by, hands brushing his arms and legs, and Dave holding tightly to his hand for a moment before letting him slip away.

Jeff extinguishes his torch, and Colin sets it aside and picks up his backpack. He turns to the others, looking small and huddled, down to three. "Bye," he says, lifting a hand. "I'll miss you guys."

"Dave will miss you too," Dave says loudly. "You're still my favorite funny guy! You won't forget, right? You remember Dave, you promised."

"I'll remember," Colin says, nodding. He's aware of Jeff watching this and looking perplexed, and he's reassured by the indulgent smiles Gina and Shannon give Dave. They do care about him, Colin knows. They'll be kind to him. "See you," he says to them all, and then he turns, carrying his backpack down the path away from the fire.

The jungle is dark in front of him, and he doesn't know which way he's going, but he knows Ryan is waiting for him and that's all he needs.

~~~

Hopefully it's not a long walk; I have this picture in my head of Colin getting there really late and Ryan is sleeping and he just crawls into bed with him. Which is not a bad image, actually. ^_^

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

OMG! Colin got voted out?! Why didn't you TELL ME that was going to happen? I hate you forever!

LOL. I'm only kidding. :D

***

Colin decides that he hates the dark as he feels his way along the path. Maybe he will move to Alaska or some other very northern place where they have daylight 23 hours a day or something insane like that. Maybe northern Canada might even do the trick.

He wonders if Ryan would protest that. They could live in an igloo, have sled dogs, and hunt bears. Colin is still amused that there are some Americans who seem to think that all Canadians live like that. Like Canada is some bizarre remote land, or maybe a third world country with no running water or electricity. Like that I Am Canadian ad from Molson. God, he loves that thing.

He memorized it, and he says it to himself, just to pass the time:

Hey. I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader. And I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled. And I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,although I'm certain they're really, really nice...

I have a Prime Minister, not a President. I speak English and French, not American. And I pronouce it "about", not "a boot".

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack. I believe in peace keeping, not policing. Diversity, not assimilation.
And that the beaver is truly a proud and noble animal. A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch, and it's pronounced "zed", not "zee", "zed"!

Canada is the second largest landmass. The first nation of hockey. And the best part of North America! I am Canadian!

Gives him chills every time. He loves his country. Sometimes he considers getting a Canadian flag tattoo. He wonders if Ryan would like that...

So he's plodding along step by step, without any idea where he's going. They could've at least given him a torch, but no. Here he is, walking for god knows how long, god knows where, in the dark.

It's times like these he wishes he had the ego of the typical actor, so he could stomp around and demand star treatment. However, there are no cameras following him anymore. He's completely alone, with only the constellations to keep him company.

He picks out Gemini. Castor and Pollux, who couldn't bear to be separated... The story makes him think of himself and Ryan. And he's glad that they'll be together again soon.

If he can make it down this path alive, that is. How long does this thing go on, anyway? He can't imagine why the producers decided to put him through further torture after everything else he's already been through. It's like some kind of sick joke.

Or maybe they think it's some kind of "spiritual cleansing", some hokey thing that will help them deal with the "pain" of losing out on the million dollars. If the losers have to walk all this way in the dark, reflecting over what they've done, maybe getting a little scared in the process, they'll feel better about the whole thing.

Or maybe he's just lost. Maybe this isn't the right way. Maybe he'll be wandering around and around in circles for the rest of his life, never able to find his way back...

Up ahead in the distance he sees flickering lights, and hears people talking. And he breaks into a run.

***

Okay, so the "I am Canadian" ad was shameless filler, but I could totally see Colin memorizing that and trotting it out sometimes when he's ragged on about being Canadian. It's a real ad too, btw. :)

Don't forget to save some for me now... *g*

Emily :)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Proud Canadian Colin! *loves on him* He so would memorize that, too. And now, OMG, we're almost there!

~~~

The lights resolve into a combination of electric lanterns and small fires as he gets closer, and he sees the silhouettes of several tents and a line of small instant cabins--the sort that snap together like legos, made of metal and thick plastic. Still, it's four walls and a roof, and he can smell roasting meat and... oh please yes, coffee.

"Hey," some crew person says as he approaches, handing him a flashlight. "Colin, right? Let me show you around."

"Never mind that," Colin says impatiently. "Where's Ryan?"

The guy looks a little startled, but shrugs and waves him along. "That's the mess tent," he says, pointing to a long tent with lines of picnic tables inside, where the good food smells are coming from. "There's a little dinner left over if you want to grab some. Over there are the facilities, showers and stuff, gender separate so make sure you look at the door before you go in."

"Okay," Colin says, walking a little faster. "Where's the medical tent?"

"There," the man says, pointing to a tent with a red cross painted on the side. Colin takes two running steps before he registers the man calling after him, telling him to stop.

"Not that way," he says, waving his hands.

"Look, I'll take the tour later, okay?" Colin grits, at the end of his patience, and the man laughs and steers him toward the little cabins.

"I mean your friend isn't in there. They moved him to his cabin this afternoon. Second from the left." He points, and Colin swings his flashlight beam around and follows it, eager and scared all at once and Ryan must be okay now if he's in a cabin, right? He must be better. The persistent mental image of him lying so pale and thin is nothing but an overactive imagination at work.

"Don't you want to know where your cabin is?" the crew guy calls after him, and Colin waves him off.

"Won't be needing it," he says, and then the knob is in his hand and his palm slides over it, slick with nervous sweat. He gets it open on the second try and pauses in the threshold, peering into the small, dark room. It smells new and fabricated, plastic and sawdust and the almost foreign scent of soap.

He plays the flashlight beam cautiously across the floor and finds the legs of the bed. "Ryan?" he whispers, closing the door behind him.

There is no response, and he swallows the immediate lurch of fear in his throat and tells himself to quit being stupid. Ryan is sleeping, that's all. But just to be sure, he holds his breath until he can hear Ryan's slow, even respiration, a tiny murmur of sound that is already instantly recognizable.

(Cut)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

(Continued)

Flicking the flashlight off, Colin toes his shoes off and feels his way to the bed, taking a moment to marvel at the springy give of an actual mattress beneath his hands when he reaches it. He slides his fingertips up the quilt, forming the shape of one long, bony leg beneath it, and then higher, until his hand is over Ryan's belly, slim but not the emaciation he can still see in his head. Higher still and his chest moves reassuringly under Colin's palm, strong and steady up and down, the thump of his heart barely perceptible.

"Hey," Colin says very softly, and he's not sure if he wants Ryan to wake or not. Maybe it's better this way, quieter, if he can just sneak in and finally, finally touch him, just get close enough to feel absolutely certain that Ryan is well and whole without waking him... well, then he'll have time to quell the stinging in his eyes and the tightness in his chest without Ryan knowing about it.

He rolls onto the bed carefully, and it's small, a snug fit, but he manages to nudge and wriggle until he's comfortable. Then he lays his cheek on Ryan's shoulder and breathes him in and that's where the soap scent was coming from--Ryan is clean. He smells of sweet skin and freshly washed sheets and nothing else, and Colin closes his eyes, fighting to keep his breathing steady. He drapes one arm across Ryan's chest, curling as close as he can, and Ryan shifts a little, mumbling.

Ryan's chest is bare, and Colin turns enough to press a kiss to his shoulder, lingering there, breathing in his taste. Ryan makes a soft sound and turns toward him, one hand resting in the curve of Colin's waist, limp and heavy.

"Ryan," Colin says, forming the word around a contented sigh. And Ryan doesn't wake, but he leans a little closer.

~~~

Ahhhhhhh. *bighappysigh* Except... crap, this is the end of the day, isn't it? Maybe Ryan should wake up after all, because really, I can't be making you start three days in a row. I'll feel like I'm slacking off. *g*

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Oooooooh... I think I made this one extra special good. :D

***

Colin strokes Ryan's chest a few more times, making sure he's real, and then he eases himself out of bed. He doesn't want Ryan seeing him looking like this. All dirty and sweaty and horrible. Even though he knows that Ryan won't care, that he'll be happy to see him no matter what Colin looks or smells like, he still wants them both to be clean the first time Ryan opens his eyes.

He marches off to the showers, which are all silent and empty. He supposes it's a little late for a shower, but he can't wait until tomorrow. He has to be clean tonight.

The water is warm and refreshing, cascading down his nude body, trickling down his legs, towards his feet. And there's soap, shampoo, and conditioner, and for a moment he's too overwhelmed to choose which one he wants to use first. And then he stands underneath the spray, lathering and rinsing and making little contented sighs with his eyes closed.

It's perfection housed behind a plastic curtain, and he wants to stay forever, with the smell of soap, and the water relaxing his tensed muscles, hitting his shoulderblades and rolling down his back. But he also wants to get back to Ryan, so he reluctantly turns the faucet off and wraps himself in a towel to dry.

He combs his hair out with his fingers, silky and scented like strawberries. And he grins when he looks in the mirror and sees his old self staring back at him.

He doesn't want to put back on his old, dirty clothes. Doesn't want to mar the clean with sweat and stink. And then he sees a row of bathrobes, bright and white underneath the florescent lights, and he snatches one, clutching it to his chest for a moment. The terrycloth is soft against his skin, and he wraps himself up in it, humming.

He pounces on the toothpaste, and unwraps a brand new toothbrush, plastic crinkling as he tosses it into the wastebasket. And as he brushes his teeth, minty cool touching his tongue, he thinks that he will never, ever, take such simple things for granted again.

He gathers up his dirty clothes, pulls on his shoes, and walks back towards Ryan's cabin. Their cabin, he amends, already liking the sound of it.

When he opens the door to their cabin, he throws his clothes into the hamper without looking at them. Hmm. He pauses for a moment, and then decides to add his entire backpack to the pile. He's going to do some serious laundry tomorrow.

Ryan is sprawled on his back, hogging the whole bed, and Colin thinks that won't do at all. He stares down at Ryan for a long moment, his features dimly visible thanks to the nightlight in the corner. Colin wonders where Ryan got it, wonders if someone told him that Colin would be arriving tonight. In sleep Ryan's face is relaxed and unlined, and it reminds Colin of when they first met, twenty-some years ago.

(continued next part)

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

(continued from previous)

He bends down to kiss Ryan's cheek, and Ryan stirs, cracking open one eye. "Hey, beautiful," Colin says, kneeling next to the bed. He smoothes Ryan's rumpled hair back from his forehead.

Ryan blinks, and a grin spreads across his face. "Col?" he mumbles. "Are you… are you real?"

Colin kisses him, full on the mouth, to prove it. "What do you think?"

"I think you're either real or a very good imitation. Either way, I'll take it," Ryan cracks, scooting over so Colin can join him.

Colin shucks off the bathrobe, blushing a little at the look in Ryan's eyes, and climbs into bed. "You okay?" he asks, because he has to know, has to make sure.

"Much better now," Ryan murmurs, resting their foreheads together for a moment.

And Colin throws his arms around Ryan, burrowing against him, kissing him everywhere he can reach. "You're okay," Colin repeats, over and over again in between kisses. "You're really okay."

It's only when Ryan reaches out, caressing his cheeks, that he realizes they're damp with tears. And he licks his lips, tasting salt. Ryan hugs him close, and they settle against the pillows, Ryan making reassuring noises deep in his chest while Colin curls against him, letting out all of the strain and stress he's been holding inside for days.

"Missed you, Col," Ryan says after a while, his voice heavy with sleep. His fingers thread through Colin's damp hair.

Colin sighs, unable to resist palming one of Ryan's nipples, and loving Ryan's answering gasp. "Missed you, Ry." And Colin closes his eyes, secure at last.

He's home.

***

'Cause I'm just stuck on this 'home' theme... *g*

Well, what are we doing now? Skipping to the epilogue?

Emily :)