Fic: Overcome, Day Three

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Okay... Day Three of our insane Survivor adventure is about to start, so c'mon in and get comfortable. :) We will be taking turns posting all of Day Three here in the comments, so keep checking back while we write more...

It's like a fic in real time. *g*





Overcome

By emilyfairy and kalimyre

Rating: R

Pairing: Possibly Ryan/Colin, but so far it's gen with a hint of preslash flirting :D

Summary: Ryan and Colin on Survivor. No, really.

Day One | Day Two




Colin wakes up in the early morning, blinking and groggy and cold. Ryan is gone, and Colin can't help the little swoop of disappointment that lodges itself in his stomach as he looks as the slight sag in the mat that Ryan has left behind. He hugs himself close, wishing that his arms were Ryan's arms instead.

Water drops onto his side, rolling down his back and his chest, and Colin thinks to himself, That's odd. He wonders if the tent is leaking. But he doesn't hear the sound of rain or even thunder. All he knows is that he's wet, and now he'll never get warm unless he can make it to the fire...

And then Ryan is laughing from above him, and Colin turns. Ryan is wet and dripping from his morning swim in the river, and what an appealing vision he makes. For a moment Colin almost thinks he's still dreaming. Ryan's golden curls are dark with water, and for the first time Colin notices how long his hair is getting. It spills over his forehead, making him look younger somehow. And then there's Ryan's skin, tanned and glowing and... beautiful... Colin gulps, and tries to push that last thought away, but it doesn't want to leave.

Ryan smirks at him, and Colin realizes that he is now soaked through almost to the skin. "Couldn't you at least grab a towel?" he asks.

"They were all out at the courtesy desk," Ryan replies.

Colin laughs. He loves how easily they pick up the threads of old conversations. It's always been that way with Ryan and him. "Is anyone else awake yet?"

"No. I think they're all sleeping in. We probably won't have much to do today, because the other team will be at Tribal Council tonight, and everybody will be focusing on them."

"Good," says Colin. "Maybe all of the cameras will go bother them, and leave us alone."

"I don't think it works that way," Ryan says, and in one quick motion he rolls back in to join Colin.

Colin sighs as he settles against Ryan, their arms tangling together. Ryan's skin is cool and a little clammy next to his, and Colin feels him shivering a bit. He bites his lip. Ryan is usually the protector, the one who makes Colin feel better, and even though Colin knows that he is over six feet tall, and a grown man besides, he likes having someone around to take care of him.

He decides that he wants to be that for Ryan too, if he needs it. Ryan's lips are blue on the edges, and his teeth chatter, and Colin thinks that this time, he definitely needs it. He pulls Ryan into his arms, cradling Ryan against his chest. "Mmm," Ryan murmurs, curling into a ball so he'll fit.

Colin stares at the top of Ryan's head, and then rests his chin there. Ryan's hair leaves a wet patch on his shirt, but he doesn't mind. He rubs Ryan's arms, his back, his sides... Anywhere he can reach. Trying to give some of his warmth back to Ryan. Ryan's shivers slowly subside, and Colin lets the pride spread all over his body. He did that. He helped Ryan.

"You know what this means?" Ryan asks after a few minutes of silent cuddling. He pops up his head, so he can see Colin's face.

"What?"

"We can work some more on our fort," Ryan replies, grinning broadly.






Now I will turn it over to Kalimyre! :D Feel free to comment as we go along.

Emily :)

Comments

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

It's incredibly cute and pretty. I don't care if it's insane.

Ahh, a good break from the ES Universe angst...Thank you!

More?

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :) It is rather nice to have a break from the angst...

We posted more down below if you want to check it out. :)

Emily :)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Day three! Yay! And also yay for wet and shivery Ryan and cuddling for warmth because that is a tried and true story device and I still love it. *g*

...

Colin chuckles, because Ryan is so irrepressible sometimes, and he's oddly tempted to kiss the tip of Ryan's nose, close to his face as it is. Instead, he bites his lip and wriggles a little, wincing at the sodden squish of his clothes. He's warm now, but the damp is making the dirt stick to his skin, and they've made their sleeping area rather muddy. It'll dry when the day gets hot, though, and he can't make himself regret the time he spent warming Ryan up.

"Okay," he says, letting go reluctantly. "But let's do our planning somewhere drier."

Ryan ducks his head, smiling ruefully. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"Eh," Colin says. "I'm not." And he smiles at Ryan as he holds his hand up, offering help as they crawl out of the tiny tent. Ryan flicks him one of those unreadable looks he gets sometimes, speculative and knowing all at once.

The fire is almost dead, nothing but a few hot coals under a mound of ashes, but Ryan feeds it bits of dead grass and twigs and manages to coax it back to life without needing to dip into the tribe's meager store of matches. Colin watches him, his intent expression, his careful and measured movements, and finds himself thinking that Ryan has very skilled hands. Very clever, very gentle. Heat comes to his face and he looks away, clearing his throat.

"What?" Ryan asks, glancing over his shoulder at Colin.

"Nothing. Hey, uh, is there any of that chicken bird thing from last night left over?"

Ryan snorts. "Chicken bird thing? Don't get all technical on me now."

"Shut up," Colin says, playfully shoving Ryan. Ryan laughs and grabs his shoulders, pushing back, and Colin snags his heel on a tree root, stumbling. Ryan catches him before he can fall, yanking him close for a moment, and Colin finds himself pressed against Ryan's chest. He closes his eyes and Ryan still smells of his early morning swim, like water and damp earth.

"Careful," Ryan says, stepping back.

"Yeah," Colin replies, looking up at him. "So, breakfast?"

"Oh, we better not take anything," Ryan says, slipping a note of prim pretention into his voice. "It's got to be rationed, after all. Best to ask our fearless leader's permission first."

"Oh yes, what was I thinking?" Colin says, biting back a smile. "We owe him, after all."

"Yeah, could you believe that shit? He really thinks he did us a favor." Ryan shakes his head. "I can't decide who I want to vote off first, him or Eric."

Colin sits by the fire, leaning in close so the heat will dry his clothes quicker. "I'd say Eric. Matt doesn't like us, but Eric really hates us."

Ryan sits beside him, leaning their shoulders together, their knees jostling companionably. "Yeah, that's true. Okay, he's first, then Matt."

There's a muffled step behind them, and then Colin feels a strong hand on his shoulder. He turns, startled, just as the person says, "Making plans?"

...

Muahahaha! Didn't I say I'd get you back? *g* It's all yours, Emily, have fun.

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Oh! Oh, you are evil... I love it. *g*

I will be replying to the main post instead of this one... So that way the text boxes won't get small. I'll poke you again when I have it written. I'm watching the dog show tonight so I'll do it between commercials. *g*

Emily :)

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

I left you a lovely present. Your turn now! :)

Emily :)

[krzcowzgomoo.livejournal.com]

*makes note to never get on kalimyre's bad side...hee

I'm kidding, actually I've having so much fun with these...and am temporarily at a loss of words, please refer back later...

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Aww, it's all in good fun... *g* And thank you! :) I just posted a little bit more if you want to read. It's down below.

Emily :)

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Oh! I love how Colin can barely resist the temptation to kiss Ryan's nose. *melts*

Oh yeah, and the tripping-and-catching thing? Another lovely, lovely tried and true cuddling device. *heart*

...

Colin starts to glare, until he sees that it isn't Eric or Matt. It's the fifth and final guy in their group, a loner named Dave. Dave is strange, to put it mildly. He spends a lot of time off in the woods surrounding their camp, doing god knows what.

Colin isn't quite sure what to make of him yet. He doesn't seem openly hostile towards them, like Eric or Matt. But he's not exactly friendly either.

"Hi, Dave," Colin says, giving him an easy smile. "I didn't know you were awake."

"Oh, I'm always up early," Dave says, giving them both an odd look that makes Colin a little uncomfortable. "You never know what you might miss if you sleep in."

Dave's hand is still on his shoulder, nails pressing down through his wet shirt, and Colin shrugs it off. Beside him, Ryan growls, and Colin elbows him in the side, mentally telling him to please, at least attempt to be civil.

Ryan's lips stretch into a tight smile. "So... Dave... you want to help us make breakfast?"

"Oh, I think the two of you are doing just fine on your own," Dave says, leering at them. "I wouldn't want to intrude on your plans, after all."

Okay, Colin thinks to himself. This is getting just a little creepy. Ryan leans defensively against Colin, and Colin can tell he agrees.

Colin opens his mouth to reply, but Dave is gone, retreating off for a swim in the river.

"That was weird," Colin says, but he smiles and shrugs and tries to play if off like it doesn't mean anything.

Ryan's eyes are wary. "I don't like him."

"You have an entire list of people you don't like," Colin reminds him. "Maybe... more than a list. You might have a database for all I know."

"I like you," Ryan says, giving Colin his most charming smile. He takes Colin's hand and kisses it.

Colin smiles daintily and sits up straighter, allowing his hand to be kissed. "I'm not sure if I like you yet."

Ryan clutches his heart and jerks backwards, as if Colin has wounded him deeply. "I'll change your mind," he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I look forward to it," Colin purrs, leaning in so close to Ryan that their noses almost touch.

And he leaps off the log to start breakfast, leaving Ryan staring after him with a dazed expression.

Colin whistles to himself as he puts the pan in the fire.

...

Bwah! Okay, back to the dogs I go. *g* Your turn now. :)

Emily :)

[trustingno1.livejournal.com]

"You have an entire list of people you don't like," Colin reminds him. "Maybe... more than a list. You might have a database for all I know."

"I like you," Ryan says, giving Colin his most charming smile. He takes Colin's hand and kisses it.

Colin smiles daintily and sits up straighter, allowing his hand to be kissed. "I'm not sure if I like you yet."

So much love for that exchange. lol. And I have no idea of where to comment, so I'll just do it here and say that I really do like this :)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Oh! So much love for teasing, sneaky Colin. Ha! I'd sure love to see the look on Ryan's face after that little stunt. And Dave is interesting, with lots of creepy possibilities. I think he'll come back into the plot later. *g*

...

Breakfast is fried leftover mystery chicken bird and some of the fruit they've found growing in the area. It's pink and tropical and Colin thinks it might be passion fruit or guava or some variation thereof. It's an odd breakfast, but the meat is hot and tasty and the fruit juice is a welcome change from all the constant water; sweet and sticky. Ryan gobbles his share greedily, and the others start trickling toward the fire just as they're finishing.

"Morning," Colin says, dishing up more food. He hands the first plate to Gina, who smiles at him and sits down. She has one of the other women with her this morning, a small, bony girl named Shannon with frizzy red hair and a face full of freckles.

"Morning," Gina replies. "You cooking for us again?"

Colin shrugs. "Wanted to contribute," he says glibly, flicking a mild glance at Matt, who is hunched on the other side of the fire, Eric by his side. Matt doesn't look up, pointedly avoiding his gaze, and Eric picks sullenly at his food and glares.

"It's good," Shannon says, joining them on the log. "Gina was telling me about you two."

Colin and Ryan exchange a glance. "Oh?" Ryan asks.

"You're on TV, right?" Shannon blinks curiously at them.

"Oh, right," Colin says, smiling to himself. Just from the half-awed way Shannon is looking at them, he decides they can count one more tribe member on their side.

"It's not real television, though," Ryan says, lowering his voice confidentially. "It's all made up."

"And it's mostly bad impressions and bald jokes," Colin adds. "Really, I'm amazed we get paid for it."

"Good lawyers," Ryan says, nodding. "That's the key. Never sign a contract without good lawyers."

"Exactly," Colin agrees. "I didn't read mine closely enough, and now I have to shave my head so they can keep making bald jokes." He darts a dirty look at Ryan, pursing his lips. "I still think you put that clause in there on purpose."

Ryan smirks and rubs his palm over Colin's head, ruffling the fringe of his hair. "I think you look better like this, actually. Well... shinier, anyway."

Gina can't take it anymore and starts to laugh, covering her mouth with both hands. Shannon looks completely baffled, half-smiling and looking back and forth between them. "Is that... is that what you do?"

"Pretty much," Ryan says, shrugging. "Except with music."

"But we don't do the singing parts," Colin says. "And believe me, that's better for everyone."

"We do some singing parts," Ryan argues.

"If you call that singing."

"Okay, stop," Gina cuts in, still laughing. "You're confusing the poor girl."

"No, no, I get it," Shannon protests earnestly. "You're kind of like insult comics, right? Except you only make fun of each other."

Colin blinks, and Ryan wraps an arm around his shoulders. "Yeah," Ryan says. "You've got it." He squeezes Colin, grinning at him, and Colin shakes his head, chuckling. He rests his forehead against Ryan's shoulder for a long moment, glad all over again that Ryan is out here with him, that he may not have showers or a bed or decent food, but he at least has someone to laugh with.

When he lifts his head, Gina and Shannon are giving each other a meaningful look, and Gina is beaming. "What?" Colin asks.

Gina shrugs. "It's just nice that you're so close. You don't often see guys who are so..."

"Demonstrative," Shannon supplies helpfully. "You know. Friendly."

Colin can feel Ryan sigh, and he smiles tolerantly. "Yeah," he says, shrugging. "It's part of our charm."

(Cut for length, continued in next comment)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

(Continued from above)

"Okay!" Matt calls from across the campfire, clapping his hands for attention. "Listen up. We've won immunity for the week, but that doesn't mean we can slack off. I need volunteers for fishing, gathering firewood, setting traps, and improving on the field latrines. Oh, and some people to pick more of the local fruit."

"Shouldn't that be them?" Eric asks, pointing at Colin and Ryan. "You two must be real comfortable with fruit, after all."

"I like it better than latrines," Ryan says pointedly, narrowing his eyes. "But I'm sure you can handle that, seeing as you're so full of--"

"Ryan," Colin interrupts sharply. He meets Ryan's eyes for a moment, quieting him with a glance. "We'll get firewood, okay?" And he stands before anyone can argue, pulling Ryan with him.

"This is going to be a long week, isn't it?" Ryan mutters as they pick up branches.

Colin sighs, nodding, but he's thinking of how very much longer and harder it would be without Ryan here. He still has laughter and teasing and warmth at night, comfort and familiarity and someone he trusts completely, and that, he decides, is worth all the flack they're getting and more.

...

I figured they needed another ally on the tribe, poor guys. Tag, you're it!

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Oh, yay! A new friend. :) I like Shannon. And she and Gina totally think that Ry-N-Col should get together, which makes them extra cool. *g*

...

"So much for our relaxing day off," Ryan grumbles as they pick their way through the trees.

Colin pats him reassuringly. "We can look for wood for our fort too," he says.

At the mention of their fort, Colin is rewarded with a smile from Ryan. "Yeah," he says. "What's more important anyway? A stupid fire, or an amazing tree fortress?"

"Nice to know where your priorities lie," Colin says dryly, but he's trying not to smile and Ryan knows it.

Ryan shrugs, but he doesn't look sorry, and Colin's happy to let their conversation go.

They amble through the woods together side by side, sometimes holding hands, sometimes not. Sometimes Ryan looks over at Colin, and Colin wonders what he's thinking behind that smile. Colin thinks he would love to find out, someday. Or maybe he already knows.

Ryan points out a brightly colored bird, singing high above them. Colin picks a few berries, ones that Matt has deemed safe, and feeds them to Ryan one by one, his fingers lingering against Ryan's lips for a few moments. The stack of firewood in their arms grows higher and higher, and Colin even spies several logs that might be nice to have for their fort.

It doesn't occur to Colin until almost half an hour later that he and Ryan haven't said a word. And yet, he feels closer to Ryan than ever. He wonders how that's possible. Maybe sometimes, words just get in the way, clouding what's really there, unspoken underneath it all.

Then footsteps crash through the brush, breaking their connection. "Well, well," a voice says. "Look who I found, way out here. It's the twins."

Dave steps into view, grinning broadly. But Colin doesn't trust that grin.

...

Sorry! I *had* to get you back! :)

Emily :)

[foureyedsnail.livejournal.com]

*bounces on edge of chair eagerly and refreshes page every three seconds*

Ohhhhh, I should be doing HOMEWORK, gahhhhhhhhh. Distraction! Distraction! Excitement! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

You! When you least expect it, you hear me? Be afraid, be very afraid. *g* Also, yay for Colin feeding Ryan the berries; he's really getting into the whole teasing, flirting thing, isn't he?

...

Ryan takes a step forward, placing himself between Colin and Dave. Colin frowns and moves up until he is at Ryan's side, their arms brushing together. "Hi," he says, trying for a pleasant tone.

"What are you two up to?" Dave asks, rocking back on his heels, still with that wide, toothy smile.

Ryan looks deliberately at their armfuls of dry branches. "We're getting firewood," he says after a pause. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, you know," Dave says, twirling one hand. "Checking things out. Decided to be team players, huh?"

Colin sighs and shifts, the branches growing heavy in his arms. He dumps them on the ground and dusts bits of bark and dirt from his shirt, trying to make the motion brusque and efficient, rather than the nervous fidgeting it wants to be. Ryan follows suit and then throws an arm around Colin's shoulders in a gesture that tries to be casual and friendly, but misses the mark.

"We're all in the same tribe," Colin says.

"Uh huh, sure, we are," Dave agrees, nodding rapidly. "But I thought you guys were, you know, like the gruesome twosome or something. Joined at the hip, right?"

Colin thinks Ryan might edge away at that remark, but his friend surprises him by squeezing even closer, drawing to his full height and looking narrowly down at Dave. "We're friends," Ryan says flatly. "Difficult concept for you?"

Colin sighs, but he should have known, really. This is what Ryan does; he gets defensive, protective, he makes cutting remarks thinly disguised as jokes. This is how Ryan copes with problems, and Colin isn't so sure he can judge, not when his own approach is to become quiet and bland and agreeable.

"Friends," Dave echoes, and there's something very odd about his eyes. They are flat and blank, unblinking. Colin wonders if he's somehow on something, way out here in the jungle. It doesn't seem possible, but who knows? It's not like the crew did a cavity search before turning them loose.

"We're here to play the game," Colin says quietly, as if he can calm the other man by being as cool and soothing as possible. "Same as you."

"Oh yes, of course," Dave says, nodding again. "Playing the game. Isn't that what we're doing? I mean, how do I know your whole gay thing isn't some head trick, huh? Maybe that's your secret, maybe you're playing at it to throw people off, maybe they won't vote against you because it's not PC, right? Nobody wants to be the bigot, the bad guy, the asshole who hates for no reason, right?"

Colin blinks, a little dazed at the rapid tumble of words. "I think Eric might disagree with that," he points out.

(Cut for length. Again. I have no self control.)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

(And continued)

"That's just his angle," Dave says, waving a finger in a dramatic sweep. "Thats his thing, his hook. I've got him figured. And Matt, he's easy, and Gina, she wants people to like her so she's nice to everyone, says what they want to hear, Shannon follows her like a puppy, the others, they're not competition. But you two... what's your hook? Hmm?"

Ryan smiles, showing his teeth. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

For the first time, Dave's fixed grin wavers and his blank eyes are aware, calculating and intelligent, but it's fast, barely a second and he's back to bouncing on his heels and giving them the empty stare. "I'll find out," he says. "I always find out." He nods sharply, one last time, and then turns and heads off through the trees at a jog, rapidly moving out of sight.

Ryan leaves his arm around Colin for a little longer than is strictly needed after Dave leaves, but Colin doesn't mind. Dave makes him nervous, and not in the same way that Eric and Matt do. Those two, he understands; it's not pretty but it is, at least, familiar. Dave is an unstable element, unpredictable and therefore dangerous.

"Wow," Ryan says after a long stretch of quiet.

"Yeah." Colin turns into Ryan's side a little, resting his cheek against Ryan's shoulder, and his friend needs no more encouragement to wrap both arms around him. Colin sighs, closing his eyes, and he feels Ryan's chest rise and fall against his, Ryan's heartbeat fast and strong, slowing gradually to a steady thump, barely perceptible.

"Maybe we should vote him off first," Ryan says, and Colin smiles. He loves the way Ryan's voice rumbles in his chest, the way he can feel it when they're close like this.

"I don't know. If we get rid of Eric, then Matt doesn't have his buddy anymore. We should break them up first."

Ryan nods, his chin brushing the side of Colin's head, bristly against his skin. "That's probably what they're thinking about us, you know."

Colin squeezes his arms a little tighter around Ryan's waist and says nothing. He knows. He just hopes it doesn't happen.

...

Damn thing is trying to get angsty on me again. So, do you think Dave is on something? I haven't quite decided.

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Oooh, Dave! I love how there's little bits of plot trying to pop through in this thing. *g*

Maybe he's on something that he found out in the woods? And that's why he's always going out there? Hmm... something to ponder... :)

...

When they arrive back at their camp, Dave is nowhere to be found, but somehow Colin doesn't mind. It's now almost noon, and the heat is nearly unbearable. Gina and Shannon sit on the beach, listlessly playing a card game with the deck of cards that Gina brought as her luxury item. Gina frequently wipes her forehead, and Shannon fans herself with her hands.

The others are dozing in the big tent to escape from the sun. Colin notices a string of fish hung from one of the trees. Matt must've gone fishing while they were gone.

He and Ryan drop their firewood into the pile. Colin's elbows ache, and he rubs them absently. Ryan automatically steps over and pushes Colin's hands aside, massaging his arms.

Colin grins when he sees Gina nudge Shannon and jerk her head in their direction. He waves at them, and for some reason this makes them giggle and collapse into the sand.

Colin shakes his head. He doesn't understand women at all.

"Better?" Ryan asks, peeking his head around Colin's shoulder.

Colin leans his head back against Ryan's chest, and Ryan's arms wrap around his stomach for a quick hug. "Better," he agrees.

"I could use a swim," Ryan says, stepping away and tugging off his shirt.

Colin tries not to stare. He tries to tell himself that he's seen Ryan shirtless hundreds of times. Maybe even thousands, after all the years they've known each other. But somehow, today it's different. His eyes travel over the sheen of sweat coating Ryan's chest, the soft patch of blonde hair, the sweet-looking hollow of his navel... Ryan's lean muscles tighten as he walks towards Colin, and Colin almost falls over onto the sand.

He hears Gina laughing again, and Ryan's arm reaches out to steady him, and suddenly the world is too bright, too full of color and sound, and he's moving like he's stuck in mollasses or... or mud...

Colin whimpers as he again thinks of mud, cool over his fingers, spreading across Ryan's naked body, and jerks away.

"Col?" Ryan asks, and he's in front of him and he's still shirtless and Colin can't breathe, can't take his eyes away... "What is it?"

"Nothing," Colin says. He shakes his head, and things go back to normal. It must've been the heat, or maybe the scare with Dave back in the woods... "Swimming sounds good." He smiles at Ryan, and Ryan smiles back.

Colin tosses off his shirt too, and they walk down the beach towards the river, because it's too hot to run. "Hi, ladies," Ryan calls to Shannon and Gina as they pass.

"Hi, RyanandColin!" they both chorus, stringing their names together all in one breath.

Colin smiles as he steps into the water. Today, he likes being RyanandColin.

...

Bah. Sorry for being sappy. LOL. I'll try and tone it down the next time. I just couldn't resist. But I've been good, haven't I? Kiiinda? *g*

I'm using my Colin icon too, 'cause yay! Colin! :)

Emily :)

[krzcowzgomoo.livejournal.com]

hey man, sappy rocks! and indeed...yay Colin!

P.S. I like them being RyanandColin too...xD

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Sappy? Are you kidding me? That was hot. And I love RyanandColin! Yay for RyanandColin! *g*

...

They swim for a little while, and Ryan is especially playful today, coming up behind Colin underwater and snatching him around the legs, deft fingers tickling his belly, making him laugh and thrash. Colin retaliates with several unexpected grabs to Ryan's ass, feeling absurdly smug every time his friend yelps and jumps, whirling with wide eyes.

Then they play cards with Gina and Shannon for a while, drying in the sun and talking quietly, but soon both of them are limp and sleepy with the heat, sagging against each other, shoulders propped together. The women keep giving them sly, knowing smiles, which get a little wider when Ryan announces that it's naptime.

The tent is dry and warm and pleasantly shaded, and Colin snuggles against Ryan's side automatically, feeling lazy and loose and content. He is vaguely aware of Ryan's fingertips sifting through the soft fringe of hair on the back of his head, but he's asleep before he can think about it too much.

Colin doesn't know how long he sleeps, but when he drifts awake again, the tent is still hot and dim, and the jungle around them is quiet but for the lazy buzz of insects and the occasional bird call. Colin has a sense of being watched, and he stays still, keeping his breathing slow and deep. He can smell Ryan, familiar and close, and the hand spread flat on his bare chest is instantly recognizable, and Colin is tempted to smile when he realizes Ryan must be watching him sleep.

Then Ryan's hand moves, a slow, easy stroke down the center of Colin's chest, leaving a trail of lingering warmth. Fingertips brush over the small pudge of his belly, dipping curiously into his navel for a moment before moving on to trace the waist of his shorts, where the skin is soft and pale and vulnerable. Suddenly it is much harder to keep breathing steadily.

There is a wash of warm breath on his skin, and then another touch, but not Ryan's hand this time. Colin would know his lips anywhere, even pressed against the spot just below his ribs that sends a tingle all the way up his spine. Colin bites his tongue to keep quiet.

Ryan's mouth moves, bumping lightly over each rib, soft and unhurried, and his lips are just a little bit open now, leaving spots of moisture that feel cool on Colin's skin, slowly evaporating. Ryan is tasting him, and Colin swallows, dimly aware that his breathing has sped up.

He knows there is more between them than friendship; he's known that for years. It's something they don't talk about, but it's always there, in the easy affection and touches that aren't quite casual, the glib excuses to get closer that are never questioned. Like so many of the best things about their relationship, this has always been unspoken.

Ryan's mouth is at his collarbone now, nuzzling a little, his unshaven bristles waking the skin up, making it sting slightly, and his lips soothing and smooth in comparison. When Ryan kisses his neck, Colin can't quite hold back a low whimper, and he knows he's moving, squirming slightly. Ryan has to know he's awake, doesn't he? Or maybe Ryan thinks he's having an especially good dream.

He wonders what Ryan will do, if he opens his eyes right now. Act surprised? Laugh, like it was a joke, a tease? Or maybe he won't stop at all and god, what if he's done this before? Maybe this isn't the first time, because Ryan certainly seems comfortable, even knowing in his exploration of Colin's skin. Maybe this is just the first time Colin has woken up for it.

(Cut for length. I swear I didn't mean to this time.)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

(Continued from above)

He feels Ryan's breathing on his face before Ryan touches him, and then the slightest brushing of Ryan's lips over his. He can feel that Ryan is smiling, and he's aware of the heat radiating from Ryan's body, poised over his, not quite touching. Another kiss, pressing just a bit more, and then Ryan draws back, he's getting ready to move away and this will be over and Colin still doesn't even know if Ryan thinks he's sleeping and if he lets it go now, he might never find out.

Colin wraps him arms around Ryan befor he can get away, pulling hard and Ryan lands full length on top of him with a surprised whuff of breath. "Col?" Ryan begins, but then Colin slips a hand around the back of his neck, arches up, and kisses him. Ryan is still trying to speak, his mouth moving against Colin's, but Colin doesn't care.

Ryan is heavy, hot and smooth and solid against him, breathing and vibrant and alive. His mouth is uncertain and eager all at once and he tastes so good and Colin doesn't want to ever stop. He's clutching at Ryan, holding on as tight as he can and he can feel when Ryan gives in, when he stops wriggling and trying to speak and seems to melt.

Colin doesn't know how long it goes on, but eventually he has to breathe and he lets Ryan lift his head. They're still wrapped together, faces inches apart, and Ryan is flushed, breathing hard, licking his lips dazedly. "Colin?" he says, blinking slowly. "What...?"

But Colin doesn't want to talk about it. It's always better between them when they don't talk, and this has been coming for years without a single thing being said about it. He sees no reason to change that now that it's finally here. So he smiles and pulls Ryan close again, and when they kiss, he can feel that Ryan is smiling too.

...

Come on, it's Valentine's Day. I had to have kissing, didn't I? *g*

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Ohhh, you are EVIL, girl! Is this what you meant by getting me back? LOL.

I don't think I can continue with this story, 'cause I have melted onto my keyboard... *fans herself* If my part was hot, yours was... electric! Damn. :)

Unfortunately... *g*

...

Colin gasps and opens his eyes. Ryan is still sacked out beside him, and Colin reaches out, wanting to touch him... Wanting to test reality. And in the warm, dim tent, Colin aches for the fantasy.

His heavy breathing fills the tent as he remembers the dream. He wonders how he is ever going to be able to look at Ryan again, without imagining Ryan's lips, how they taste like fresh grass, and exactly how Ryan's tongue feels when it slides into his mouth, how it awakes this burning emptiness inside of him that he didn't even know was there until Ryan came along and filled it...

And all Colin can think is that he has to get out of the tent, before he turns the fantasy into a reality. Because it's obvious that Ryan doesn't feel that way about him. Yes, Ryan touches him a lot, and sometimes he thinks he sees something lurking in Ryan's eyes... But it's just Colin imposing his own deeply buried desires on Ryan, reading too much into things that probably don't mean anything at all.

Colin bursts out of the tent and runs to the river. And with the cool water lapping against his shoulders, it's easier to convince himself that Ryan doesn't have feelings for him. That he doesn't have feelings for Ryan. That they're just friends. No matter what he thought in that dream.

His heart skips in his chest, and he knows he's lying to himself. But he dunks his head underwater, not wanting to see that clearly. Not right now.

"It's a dream," he mutters to himself. "It's just a dream. It doesn't mean anything."

And suddenly Colin's not sure what's real and what's not.

...

Sorry! *runs and hides under the bed*

*peeks out*

Emily :)

[indybaggins.livejournal.com]

Emily!!!!! *shakes head* Why? WHY?

*cough* Not that I was looking foreward to a hot love scene or anything... ;)

You better make this up to us you know. Dreams can come true, and yeah... Yeah!

Oh, and sorry if I'm replying in the wrong box, it's kind of hard to keep track of.

*refreshes this page for the upteenth time today* I'm addicted to hot!tentsurvivorColinandRyancuddling. *Nods head sagely* Oh yeah.

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Augh! *headdesk* That was EVIL. Colin! Oh, honey, don't worry. It'll happen eventually. *pets Colin* We really must be nicer to our toys, Emily, or they won't want to play with us anymore. *g*

...

Colin swims until Matt comes out with a fishing pole and yells at him to quit scaring all the fish away. He's tired and waterlogged, his fingers pruny and his face sunburned, and he gets out of the water without argument. He leaves Matt to his fishing and heads off into the trees, walking aimlessly.

It's early evening now, the heat leaving the day quickly, and Colin shivers a little, dripping on the ground as he walks. He's still dressed in nothing but sodden shorts and a pair of shoes, and he knows he'll pay for this in bug bites later, but at the moment, he doesn't really care.

It's silly to be depressed, he knows. Nothing has changed. He hasn't lost anything. Ryan is still his friend, and for more than twenty years, that's been enough. This is a reaction to the stress of being out here, he decides. That's all it is. He's feeling isolated and anxious and cut off from his support system, so he's seeing more to his relationship with Ryan than is really there.

Colin finds a patch of soft grass and lays down, hands laced behind his head and feet propped on a tree stump, and he watches for a while as the daylight fades from the sky. Sounds drift over from the campsite, muffled voices and the snap of the fire, a faint hiss of something in the frying pan. Colin wonders if they've noticed he's missing.

"Knock it off," he mutters to himself. Self-pity has never been a good look for him. So he shakes his head, puts on a smile, and decides he's going to go back there and be friendly and funny and lovable and Ryan won't see a thing wrong. He's going to do that. In a minute.

A shadow falls across his chest, and Colin turns his head curiously.

"Hey," Ryan says, smiling softly at him. "Found you."

Colin nods. "Yeah," and he has to swallow because his throat is suddenly aching again and this is no good at all. If Ryan smiling at him does this, how's he going to handle it when it's time to sleep again and Ryan wants to get close?

Ryan sits beside him, folding his legs and resting a hand on Colin's shoulder. "Okay?"

"Sure," Colin says. Sure.

"Aren't you cold?"

Colin shrugs and sits up, brushing bits of grass from his arms and back. "A little," he admits, which is not quite accurate. He's still not dry, and the breeze has a bite to it now, sapping the warmth from his damp skin.

"Come on," Ryan says, standing and pulling Colin up. He's wearing a shirt now, and he wraps his arms around Colin, banding him with warm, soft cloth and heat and Colin can't help closing his eyes and resting his cheek on Ryan's shoulder. It's okay to do that, he decides, because he's so tired. It's okay to lean a little.

Ryan leads him back to the fire and Colin knows he's not smiling enough, knows he's too quiet. Ryan has already noticed, and if he asks what's wrong, Colin isn't sure he can lie. Not to Ryan.

He can't decide if he wants Ryan to ask or not.

...

Guess that one's up to you! ^_^

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm back! La!

...

Ryan disappears for a few minutes, and when he comes back he is clutching Colin's sweatshirt. "Figured you were cold," he says, grinning as he holds it out.

Colin takes it gingerly, making sure that his fingers don't go anywhere near Ryan's. "Thanks," he says.

"Need help?" Ryan asks, slipping an arm around Colin's waist. He tries to grab the sweatshirt back, but Colin steps away. And even though it was only for a few seconds, he can still feel Ryan's touch burning through his shorts.

He sees the hurt in Ryan's eyes, but he doesn't know what to do about it. "I'm all right," he says. He slips the sweatshirt on in a hurry, his eyes downcast.

"Col?" Ryan tips Colin's chin up, and Colin's eyes flutter shut for a moment. How come he never noticed before how soft and gentle his friend's fingers are? "Did I do something wrong?"

Colin sighs. Here it is now. The moment of truth. And there's cameras everywhere, and he's surrounded by virtual strangers, thousands of miles from home. He's exhausted and he probably looks horrible. And Ryan is just going to laugh in his face when he hears... When he hears that Colin...

"Hey, boys!" Gina says, pushing next to them with a sunny smile. "Matt actually caught something in one of his stupid traps!"

Ryan's hand leaves Colin's chin, and he shoots Colin a look that says, "Later."

Colin decides that breathing is a good thing. He takes several large gulps of air, filling his lungs.

"It better not be a rat," Gina continues, wrinkling her nose. She looks expectantly back and forth between Ryan and Colin.

Colin indulges her with a smile that doesn't feel entirely genuine, while Ryan stares off into the distance for a moment. Then he comes back with, "Rat? Don't you know that's a delicacy in Asia? All the four star restaurants serve rat."

"Oh, really?" Gina giggles as they grab their plates and line up for dinner. "I never heard that before. How do you know about that, hmm?"

"Oh, I'm a big star in Asia," Ryan replies. "Big, big star. Tours all across the whole continent, every summer and holiday. Right, Col?"

Colin nods, but he can't think of anything else to add. He just wants things with Ryan to go back to normal. He hopes that he will be able to beat whatever this thing is that's taken over his brain. Maybe after he's eaten something, he'll feel better.

He'll be able to touch Ryan again.

...

Kinda angsty again!

Emily :)

[krzcowzgomoo.livejournal.com]

....why do you do this to me?!

o well, taht makes for good writing!

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

Oh, Colin... *huggles him* We really aren't being very nice to him. I think we need to consider how we're going to make it up to him. Or rather, how Ryan's going to make it up to him. *g*

Ryan *will* make it up to him, right? :D

You did a nice job with the conversation between Ry-N-Col... I don't know why, I just liked it. It didn't seem forced, and it seemed pretty realistic for the situation. It was just nice. :)

...

They lie curled together on the mat, until Colin isn't even sure how much time has passed. He's discovering that out here, time, at least the way he's used to keeping it, doesn't matter so much. Every day passes by quick and slow all at once. Schedules and clocks are meaningless. Time's measured out in senses-- in the breaths that he takes, in Ryan's heartbeat, in sunrise and moonrise and the positions of the stars.

Colin lifts his head, checking to see if Ryan is still awake. Ryan's eyes are bright gleams in the dark. "Hey," he whispers. "I thought maybe you were asleep."

"No," Colin replies. "I'm definitely not asleep."

"We should sleep," Ryan says, stroking the hair on the back of Colin's neck. Colin pinches the inside of his leg several times, the pain dulling the inner shine that Ryan's fingers coax out of him. "I think I heard one of the crew members say we have another challenge tomorrow."

"A challenge?" Colin repeats a little dumbly. Ryan's hands are still winding through his hair, and Colin is finding it very hard to concentrate. "But we just did immunity."

"Maybe it's a reward challenge," Ryan says with a grin.

Colin considers that. "Mmm, that's good," he says, arching his back as Ryan's fingers creep down his neck. He blushes and tries to pretend like that was just a response to the conversation. "I mean, a reward challenge, would be good."

"Yeah," Ryan says roughly, and Colin can hear the smile in his voice. He leans his head against Colin's forehead. "Good."

Colin lets out a shaky sigh. How is he going to get out of this? He can't possibly sleep like this, with Ryan's face hovering so close to his, close enough that if he wants to, he can tilt his head just a little... And if their lips happen to touch...

Colin raises one trembling hand and runs it down Ryan's fuzzy cheek. He's sure that Ryan's quick intake of breath is just his imagination, just wishful thinking. "You're getting a beard," he says.

Ryan smiles. "So're you," he breathes, trailing two fingers along Colin's chin. "You're all scratchy."

"Yeah?" Colin replies. "Well, at least I can still grow it somewhere, I guess. Not where I want, of course, but..."

"Do you want your hair back?" Ryan asks. "I mean, does it bother you?"

"Sometimes, but not as much as people think. And when it does, I always think that if that's my biggest problem, I'm a pretty lucky guy."

Ryan laughs. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he says. "And anyway, I like your hair." And Colin shivers as Ryan runs one thumb across the back of his neck, teasing him.

"You... you do?" Colin says, hating himself for the way that Ryan makes him stutter like that.

"Yeah," Ryan says, nuzzling Colin's cheek with the side of his nose. "It's kinda... kinda sexy."

Colin blinks, and he thinks that Ryan might be blushing. And then Ryan hides his face in Colin's shoulder, and Colin almost convinces himself that he is just seeing things that aren't there, as always.

Colin laughs nervously. "I've never heard that before, but okay," he says, trying to lighten the situation a bit.

Ryan raises his head, and gives Colin an anxious look. "We should, uh... get some sleep," he says.

Colin sighs. "Okay," he says, even though curling up with Ryan is the last thing he wants right now. He doesn't want Ryan to discover just how aroused he is at this particular moment.

(continued next comment!)

[emilyfairy.livejournal.com]

(continued from previous part)

...

He tries to think of how he can get himself out of it, and then it occurs to him. "Um, listen. Can we try something else tonight?" he asks.

He dies a little when he sees the open amusement dancing in Ryan's eyes. He prays that Ryan doesn't know. "What?"

Colin feels silly, but he has to ask. It's the only way. "Would you... um... I mean, could we trying spooning? I just... really like sleeping that way sometimes and..." He blushes, and he's sure that Ryan can see right through him.

"Spooning, huh?" Ryan asks, poking him teasingly. "Okay, I guess. Although I'll miss seeing your face."

"What?" Colin says, gaping at him.

Ryan squirms in his arms. "Well, you know, sometimes I wake up and I just... like to see you, I guess," he says, not quite meeting Colin's eyes. "Uh, forget it. Turn around."

Colin turns around, loving it and hating it in equal measure as Ryan's arms slide around him and clasp against his stomach. He covers Ryan's arms with his own, and notices that Ryan doesn't press quite as close as he normally does.

Colin closes his eyes, while Ryan's breath warms his neck, and wonders what it all means.

...

Wow! I actually wrote a two-comment part! *feels proud* :D

Well, this day looks like it's done... So do you want to start the next day?

Emily :)

[kalimyre.livejournal.com]

Yay for your two comment part! And yeah, I think this is a good end for day three. I'll work up the beginning of day four and post it when it's ready. Also, yay for Ryan's slightly shy affection, his wanting to see Colin and his touching Colin's hair because that is so a favorite thing for me. *bighappysigh*