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wl_fanfiction2008-12-29 08:42 pm
beccierocks.livejournal.com) wrote in wl_fanfiction2008-12-29 08:42 pm
Entry tags:
Daydream Believer
Title: Daydream Believer
Author: Beccie
Paring: Jeff/OFC
Word count: 2433 words
Rating: I'd say it's an R. Lot's of swearing and whatnot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Whose Line, the cast, the crew, the drinks they buy at the pub after the show. Not mine. Never will be...I just write about them because I can! Bwahaha!
Warnings: A fair amount of swearing, a slightly surreal writing style and basically a really bad story!
Authors notes: Basically, this came to me at work yesterday. I work in a department store called Debenhams and it is possibly the most boring job ever! Anyways, I was thinking, how great would it be if Jeff Davis walked in right now...so this came up. The format is a bit odd but it should make sense...possibly...
I hate working here. Seriously, cosmetics must be the worst section of this god damned shop to work in! I mean, it's ok because the till doesn't get to busy. However, the customers you do get...lets just say half of them deserve a swift kick up the backside! Not saying that the customers that visit women's wear are easy to please...but people buying perfume suddenly become all high and mighty. "Oh! I have come to buy perfume so that means I am a rich bastard with money to waste." I seriously grinds on me like sandpaper. And then there is the woman who likes to call herself my supervisor. She seriously thinks she is my boss. No! She is a senior version of me. My boss is the woman who wears the suit, not the standard uniform. But anyway, I try not to complain (well, not out loud anyway...) It's a job and it pays me money. It has it's perks like a generous discount and free coffee...not bad for a 20 year old university student on minimum wage...
Anyway, I am out on the floor right now. My idiot non-supervisor has decided I am not good enough for the till so has put me out on the floor to 'tidy up'. Tidy up what exactly? It's Sunday and the boxes have barely been touched. Oh wait. What's that? Oh no! It's the store manager. Look busy...he might not give me a job to do. Bollocks! He's seen me...he's calling me over. What does he want? He wants me to dust the tops of the shelves? He has got to be fucking kidding me! I'm 5ft 4...I have to stand on tip toes to do it! I'm gonna look a fucking fool! Still, better not argue...after all, he's my boss. Better go and grab the duster. Oh great...non-supervisor looks like a cat who's got the cream. I haven't decided yet whether it's because she didn't get the job or because I got it...she has always hated me. She put me on women's wear yesterday...not that I minded much. It was busy but I was away from her. Well, better get to it. If the manager sees me slacking...I just don't get paid enough for this...
I just can't reach the middle. I am considering getting the ladder but then I will look even more stupid! "Oh look! Short arse can't reach and needs a ladder. Poor thing!" I will not give anyone the satisfaction of having someone to laugh at! I just refuse! I have my dignity right now.
"Excuse me?"
Oh no fucking way! What is wrong with customers? They see you are busy so they insist on asking you questions...there are three other people on the department for fucks sake. But still, I can't ignore it...I am wearing a name tag. They know my name and can therefore tell tales. I turn around with that false smile that all shop workers wear. It's basically a part of the training...wow! I'm glad I turned around. He is gorgeous! Wait...do I know him? He just...he looks so familiar. He is smiling at me...what a smile. Oh god! Who is he?
"Hi. Sorry...I can see you're busy. I was wondering if you could help me..."
Say no Jones! Just say no. He may be gorgeous and familiar...but be strong. You are busy and he has pissed you off. Ignore the puppy dog eyes and that rich American accent...ignore...
"Sure. How can I help?"
Damn you Jones! Now the manager is gonna get all pissy with you because you are not doing the job he gave you. If you get yourself fired Jones...oh what the heck! The boss isn't around and you can't reach anyway...could save you some embarrassment.
"Well, I am looking for a perfume for an 18 year old girl. I...umm...I have no idea what she likes...sorry for being so vague..."
Oh gosh! Not a recommendation...last time I did a recommendation the customer brought it back the next day saying I had awful taste and the person's birthday was ruined. Well, I can't get out of it now...just go with what you like...I still can't help but wonder where I know him from. I can see his eyebrow raise slightly...I must look confused or something. Well, recommend Jones...
"You know who I am don't you...oh man!"
Oops! I am guessing he didn't want to be spotted...whoever he is...I mean I can't place him. I really don't want to upset him. He looks really annoyed...like I shouldn't know who he is. But I don't know who he is. Explain that to him. Just move your mouth...
"Not exactly...I mean you look familiar...have I seen you at a party before? Are you on TV..."
He is nodding. Ok...so he is on TV. I know that much. I don't wanna push it anymore. He looks upset...that's not fair on him. He obviously just wants to shop in peace so I just won't ask any more questions. After all...he is a human being...
"Ever watch 'Whose Line is it Anyway?'?"
Of course! 'Whose Line'! He was on the American right? Oh wow! I love that show! Whoa! Hang on a minute there Serena...remember...he is a human being...yes a human being who has been in one or two erotic fantasies of mine...stop it! Remember...customer...
"Oh cool. Well, I am a fan of the show and I think I have seen you on it before...anyway, let's see what we can find..."
I can't help but notice the look of almost shock on his face. I didn't scream like a schoolgirl with a crush. Did he get a lot of that back home? Is that why he came to some barely known town on the outskirts of London? I didn't question it...I am thanking my lucky stars that my day has been changed from shitty to actually rather cool. However, I can't help but think about some of the stories I had read on the interweb starring Jeff...am I blushing? Oh god! Please don't blush! He can never know what I am thinking right now...it might freak him out a bit...
*lots of mentions of different perfumes for girls, spraying on cards and a few grimaces*
This is hopeless. I mean I have had tricky customers before but this guy is a pain in the ass. I don't care if he is a celebrity...he is so damn picky! It's not like he is gonna go around sniffing his 18 year old anyway...right? Oh god...really bad images. He is looking a bit uncomfortable...maybe he can see that he is annoying me. Well, he is a guy so I didn't expect him to be easy.
"I'm sorry I am being picky...I must be the worst customer ever...picky celebrity and all that..."
Ok...this guy is either a mind reader or...no he is definitely a mind reader. Maybe he is as bored as me by now. I mean we have been at this for like half an hour...picking perfume really is dull. I am trying to give him a sympathetic look...hopefully I don't look too much like I am about to cry or something...
"Oh don't be sorry. It's my job...and heck! It beats cleaning the tops of shelves which I can't reach..."
Shut up Jones! He doesn't care about your feelings or your life story. All he wants is the perfume...
"Yeah well...you are kinda short..."
Oh no he didn't...he did not just call me short! The last guy to call me short ended up with his balls behind his head...well...maybe not...but I damn well thought about it!
"You did not just call me short!"
Ok, I shouldn't be chatting but who cares? What is anyone gonna do? Tell me to stop helping the customer? And besides, he called me short. Wait a sec...he is leaning down. Oh my gosh! Why is he leaning down? Is he gonna kiss me? Oh don't be stupid. He is quite close to my ear.
"So what if I did? What you gonna do about it...?"
Wow...that voice is even more amazing in a whisper. Is he flirting? Surely not...he is a celebrity and I work in a shop for £5 an hour. Besides, I am 20. He has to be at least 25. Ok, so I went out with a 26 year old recently...but that is beside the point. Besides, he is not flirting. Gosh...I feel really nervous.
*cough*
"So, you wanna smell the next perfume?"
That's right! Change the subject. I am feeling better already. He has straightened out again. Blimey! He is tall! Really tall...well., tall to me anyway. He looks weird...does he look embarrassed? No! He doesn't Jones! Don't even think it!
"Actually...umm...can we go back to the apple one? It was actually quite nice..."
He likes one? Wow! Shock horror! Maybe we might actually be closer to a purchase! Just maybe...but which apple one does he mean? I mean there are two...
"Which one? DKNY Be Delicious or Nina Ricci?"
I wonder if he will pick DKNY. What a coincidence that would be...
"The green one...that's DKNY right?"
He actually picked it! He likes my perfume that I wear! Why is my heart fluttering like that? I mean he only said he liked the same perfume I use. It is popular after all...
"Oh yes. Good choice. It's right here."
I have sprayed some on a card and he is smelling it again. I see him smile. Hopefully he likes it. I really want him to like it...
"What do you think of this perfume?"
Why does he care what I think? It's for his sister after all...
"Umm...well I love it. It's my favourite. I am wearing it right now..."
Is he smiling again? Was he pleased with my answer? Is he just going to laugh in my face? Make some kind of crude joke?
"Well, then I like it too...gotta love a perfume when a beautiful girl recommends it..."
Ok! I didn't just hear that...that did not happen. Did he just call me beautiful? No...of course not. Oh my cheeks feel hot...I must be bright red right now...
"Well...thank you. So, you'll take it?"
He is nodding again. I can't help but feel really proud of myself. I have given a recommendation to a celebrity and they are happy with it. But I also can't get over him calling me beautiful. I mean my hair is out of place, I must be all sweaty and I smell of ever flower and sweet and powder under the sun. However, I am still taking him over to the till. I am ringing it through. Oh please till...be nice to me.
"Listen...umm...Serena. I was just wondering...well, I am in London for a few more days...would you maybe like to meet up again?"
I can't believe it! Is he asking me out? But he is famous and I am too young for him. But he used my name...oh gosh!
"Wow...I would really like to...Jeff right? But I think I might be a bit young for you..."
I can see him laughing. Why is he laughing? What did I say?
"I am only 28 you know. And age is only a number...I really want to see you again before I leave. I mean if the fame thing scares you...I am really not that famous over here...that's why I'm here..."
Blimey! For a famous guy who should be oozing confidence, he sure is rambling. I have cut him off. Stop his embarrassment.
"I'd love to Jeff. The fame thing doesn't scare me at all...as long as you are ok hanging out with a fan..."
I just see him nod. He then grabs a pen and one of the tester cards off of the desk. I start to put his purchase in a bag as I watch him write. He then hands me the card. His number is written on it.
"Here is my cell number. I am going to watch Greg Proops perform with the Comedy Store Players at the Comedy Store tomorrow night. I would love it if you would come with me..."
The Comedy Store? I have wanted to go there for so long!! And I am a huge fan of Greg Proops! Wow! This really is a dream come true. I just nod and start to write my own number on a tester card.
"Well, give me a call with a time and place..."
He takes the card and his bag and smiles.
"Thank you Serena...Serena? Serena?"
Why is he repeating my name like that? What's going on? Why is the world shaking?
*********************************************************************
"Serena? Serena?"
I am suddenly behind the desk with my friend Maddie shaking my shoulder. What happened? Where did Jeff go? I didn't see him leave...
"Wow Serena. You were really gone there..."
I am rubbing my eyes. My vision is all blurry...my glasses have fallen off. I shove them back on my face and blink a few times.
"Maddie? What happened? How long have I been out?"
She is looking at me strangely...what did I do? Have I been here for ages? Did she not see me serving Jeff Davis?
"Like half an hour...you were really gone. Christa is pretty pissed with you right now..."
Well she can go to hell! I would never say that out loud but it felt so good to think it...
"Oh, and who is Jeff?"
I shake my head at Jeff's name. So she did see me serving Jeff? But if she did see me, why is she asking who he is?
"I just served him...didn't I?"
I see her shake her head at me. So, did that whole event not happen? Gosh I am fucking confused...
"No...but you have somehow written his name and number down in your dream state. Looks like an American number to me...similar to my aunt's..."
I look down and see two tester papers before me. One has my name and number written on it. The other has Jeff's...but how? Oh damn my dreams. Uh oh! Here comes Christa. She looks angry...I am gonna be given some kind of job. Oh great! I am put out on the floor! What I surprise...oh god! Store manager alert. Yay! He has spotted me! Oh fucking fantastic...he wants me to clean the tops of the shelves. Thanks matey! I am just gonna grab a duster. Oh fuck these stupid shelves being too high for me.
"Excuse me?"
Fucking hell! Some people! I am gonna give this person a piece of my...oh god...I must be dreaming...
Author: Beccie
Paring: Jeff/OFC
Word count: 2433 words
Rating: I'd say it's an R. Lot's of swearing and whatnot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Whose Line, the cast, the crew, the drinks they buy at the pub after the show. Not mine. Never will be...I just write about them because I can! Bwahaha!
Warnings: A fair amount of swearing, a slightly surreal writing style and basically a really bad story!
Authors notes: Basically, this came to me at work yesterday. I work in a department store called Debenhams and it is possibly the most boring job ever! Anyways, I was thinking, how great would it be if Jeff Davis walked in right now...so this came up. The format is a bit odd but it should make sense...possibly...
I hate working here. Seriously, cosmetics must be the worst section of this god damned shop to work in! I mean, it's ok because the till doesn't get to busy. However, the customers you do get...lets just say half of them deserve a swift kick up the backside! Not saying that the customers that visit women's wear are easy to please...but people buying perfume suddenly become all high and mighty. "Oh! I have come to buy perfume so that means I am a rich bastard with money to waste." I seriously grinds on me like sandpaper. And then there is the woman who likes to call herself my supervisor. She seriously thinks she is my boss. No! She is a senior version of me. My boss is the woman who wears the suit, not the standard uniform. But anyway, I try not to complain (well, not out loud anyway...) It's a job and it pays me money. It has it's perks like a generous discount and free coffee...not bad for a 20 year old university student on minimum wage...
Anyway, I am out on the floor right now. My idiot non-supervisor has decided I am not good enough for the till so has put me out on the floor to 'tidy up'. Tidy up what exactly? It's Sunday and the boxes have barely been touched. Oh wait. What's that? Oh no! It's the store manager. Look busy...he might not give me a job to do. Bollocks! He's seen me...he's calling me over. What does he want? He wants me to dust the tops of the shelves? He has got to be fucking kidding me! I'm 5ft 4...I have to stand on tip toes to do it! I'm gonna look a fucking fool! Still, better not argue...after all, he's my boss. Better go and grab the duster. Oh great...non-supervisor looks like a cat who's got the cream. I haven't decided yet whether it's because she didn't get the job or because I got it...she has always hated me. She put me on women's wear yesterday...not that I minded much. It was busy but I was away from her. Well, better get to it. If the manager sees me slacking...I just don't get paid enough for this...
I just can't reach the middle. I am considering getting the ladder but then I will look even more stupid! "Oh look! Short arse can't reach and needs a ladder. Poor thing!" I will not give anyone the satisfaction of having someone to laugh at! I just refuse! I have my dignity right now.
"Excuse me?"
Oh no fucking way! What is wrong with customers? They see you are busy so they insist on asking you questions...there are three other people on the department for fucks sake. But still, I can't ignore it...I am wearing a name tag. They know my name and can therefore tell tales. I turn around with that false smile that all shop workers wear. It's basically a part of the training...wow! I'm glad I turned around. He is gorgeous! Wait...do I know him? He just...he looks so familiar. He is smiling at me...what a smile. Oh god! Who is he?
"Hi. Sorry...I can see you're busy. I was wondering if you could help me..."
Say no Jones! Just say no. He may be gorgeous and familiar...but be strong. You are busy and he has pissed you off. Ignore the puppy dog eyes and that rich American accent...ignore...
"Sure. How can I help?"
Damn you Jones! Now the manager is gonna get all pissy with you because you are not doing the job he gave you. If you get yourself fired Jones...oh what the heck! The boss isn't around and you can't reach anyway...could save you some embarrassment.
"Well, I am looking for a perfume for an 18 year old girl. I...umm...I have no idea what she likes...sorry for being so vague..."
Oh gosh! Not a recommendation...last time I did a recommendation the customer brought it back the next day saying I had awful taste and the person's birthday was ruined. Well, I can't get out of it now...just go with what you like...I still can't help but wonder where I know him from. I can see his eyebrow raise slightly...I must look confused or something. Well, recommend Jones...
"You know who I am don't you...oh man!"
Oops! I am guessing he didn't want to be spotted...whoever he is...I mean I can't place him. I really don't want to upset him. He looks really annoyed...like I shouldn't know who he is. But I don't know who he is. Explain that to him. Just move your mouth...
"Not exactly...I mean you look familiar...have I seen you at a party before? Are you on TV..."
He is nodding. Ok...so he is on TV. I know that much. I don't wanna push it anymore. He looks upset...that's not fair on him. He obviously just wants to shop in peace so I just won't ask any more questions. After all...he is a human being...
"Ever watch 'Whose Line is it Anyway?'?"
Of course! 'Whose Line'! He was on the American right? Oh wow! I love that show! Whoa! Hang on a minute there Serena...remember...he is a human being...yes a human being who has been in one or two erotic fantasies of mine...stop it! Remember...customer...
"Oh cool. Well, I am a fan of the show and I think I have seen you on it before...anyway, let's see what we can find..."
I can't help but notice the look of almost shock on his face. I didn't scream like a schoolgirl with a crush. Did he get a lot of that back home? Is that why he came to some barely known town on the outskirts of London? I didn't question it...I am thanking my lucky stars that my day has been changed from shitty to actually rather cool. However, I can't help but think about some of the stories I had read on the interweb starring Jeff...am I blushing? Oh god! Please don't blush! He can never know what I am thinking right now...it might freak him out a bit...
*lots of mentions of different perfumes for girls, spraying on cards and a few grimaces*
This is hopeless. I mean I have had tricky customers before but this guy is a pain in the ass. I don't care if he is a celebrity...he is so damn picky! It's not like he is gonna go around sniffing his 18 year old anyway...right? Oh god...really bad images. He is looking a bit uncomfortable...maybe he can see that he is annoying me. Well, he is a guy so I didn't expect him to be easy.
"I'm sorry I am being picky...I must be the worst customer ever...picky celebrity and all that..."
Ok...this guy is either a mind reader or...no he is definitely a mind reader. Maybe he is as bored as me by now. I mean we have been at this for like half an hour...picking perfume really is dull. I am trying to give him a sympathetic look...hopefully I don't look too much like I am about to cry or something...
"Oh don't be sorry. It's my job...and heck! It beats cleaning the tops of shelves which I can't reach..."
Shut up Jones! He doesn't care about your feelings or your life story. All he wants is the perfume...
"Yeah well...you are kinda short..."
Oh no he didn't...he did not just call me short! The last guy to call me short ended up with his balls behind his head...well...maybe not...but I damn well thought about it!
"You did not just call me short!"
Ok, I shouldn't be chatting but who cares? What is anyone gonna do? Tell me to stop helping the customer? And besides, he called me short. Wait a sec...he is leaning down. Oh my gosh! Why is he leaning down? Is he gonna kiss me? Oh don't be stupid. He is quite close to my ear.
"So what if I did? What you gonna do about it...?"
Wow...that voice is even more amazing in a whisper. Is he flirting? Surely not...he is a celebrity and I work in a shop for £5 an hour. Besides, I am 20. He has to be at least 25. Ok, so I went out with a 26 year old recently...but that is beside the point. Besides, he is not flirting. Gosh...I feel really nervous.
*cough*
"So, you wanna smell the next perfume?"
That's right! Change the subject. I am feeling better already. He has straightened out again. Blimey! He is tall! Really tall...well., tall to me anyway. He looks weird...does he look embarrassed? No! He doesn't Jones! Don't even think it!
"Actually...umm...can we go back to the apple one? It was actually quite nice..."
He likes one? Wow! Shock horror! Maybe we might actually be closer to a purchase! Just maybe...but which apple one does he mean? I mean there are two...
"Which one? DKNY Be Delicious or Nina Ricci?"
I wonder if he will pick DKNY. What a coincidence that would be...
"The green one...that's DKNY right?"
He actually picked it! He likes my perfume that I wear! Why is my heart fluttering like that? I mean he only said he liked the same perfume I use. It is popular after all...
"Oh yes. Good choice. It's right here."
I have sprayed some on a card and he is smelling it again. I see him smile. Hopefully he likes it. I really want him to like it...
"What do you think of this perfume?"
Why does he care what I think? It's for his sister after all...
"Umm...well I love it. It's my favourite. I am wearing it right now..."
Is he smiling again? Was he pleased with my answer? Is he just going to laugh in my face? Make some kind of crude joke?
"Well, then I like it too...gotta love a perfume when a beautiful girl recommends it..."
Ok! I didn't just hear that...that did not happen. Did he just call me beautiful? No...of course not. Oh my cheeks feel hot...I must be bright red right now...
"Well...thank you. So, you'll take it?"
He is nodding again. I can't help but feel really proud of myself. I have given a recommendation to a celebrity and they are happy with it. But I also can't get over him calling me beautiful. I mean my hair is out of place, I must be all sweaty and I smell of ever flower and sweet and powder under the sun. However, I am still taking him over to the till. I am ringing it through. Oh please till...be nice to me.
"Listen...umm...Serena. I was just wondering...well, I am in London for a few more days...would you maybe like to meet up again?"
I can't believe it! Is he asking me out? But he is famous and I am too young for him. But he used my name...oh gosh!
"Wow...I would really like to...Jeff right? But I think I might be a bit young for you..."
I can see him laughing. Why is he laughing? What did I say?
"I am only 28 you know. And age is only a number...I really want to see you again before I leave. I mean if the fame thing scares you...I am really not that famous over here...that's why I'm here..."
Blimey! For a famous guy who should be oozing confidence, he sure is rambling. I have cut him off. Stop his embarrassment.
"I'd love to Jeff. The fame thing doesn't scare me at all...as long as you are ok hanging out with a fan..."
I just see him nod. He then grabs a pen and one of the tester cards off of the desk. I start to put his purchase in a bag as I watch him write. He then hands me the card. His number is written on it.
"Here is my cell number. I am going to watch Greg Proops perform with the Comedy Store Players at the Comedy Store tomorrow night. I would love it if you would come with me..."
The Comedy Store? I have wanted to go there for so long!! And I am a huge fan of Greg Proops! Wow! This really is a dream come true. I just nod and start to write my own number on a tester card.
"Well, give me a call with a time and place..."
He takes the card and his bag and smiles.
"Thank you Serena...Serena? Serena?"
Why is he repeating my name like that? What's going on? Why is the world shaking?
*********************************************************************
"Serena? Serena?"
I am suddenly behind the desk with my friend Maddie shaking my shoulder. What happened? Where did Jeff go? I didn't see him leave...
"Wow Serena. You were really gone there..."
I am rubbing my eyes. My vision is all blurry...my glasses have fallen off. I shove them back on my face and blink a few times.
"Maddie? What happened? How long have I been out?"
She is looking at me strangely...what did I do? Have I been here for ages? Did she not see me serving Jeff Davis?
"Like half an hour...you were really gone. Christa is pretty pissed with you right now..."
Well she can go to hell! I would never say that out loud but it felt so good to think it...
"Oh, and who is Jeff?"
I shake my head at Jeff's name. So she did see me serving Jeff? But if she did see me, why is she asking who he is?
"I just served him...didn't I?"
I see her shake her head at me. So, did that whole event not happen? Gosh I am fucking confused...
"No...but you have somehow written his name and number down in your dream state. Looks like an American number to me...similar to my aunt's..."
I look down and see two tester papers before me. One has my name and number written on it. The other has Jeff's...but how? Oh damn my dreams. Uh oh! Here comes Christa. She looks angry...I am gonna be given some kind of job. Oh great! I am put out on the floor! What I surprise...oh god! Store manager alert. Yay! He has spotted me! Oh fucking fantastic...he wants me to clean the tops of the shelves. Thanks matey! I am just gonna grab a duster. Oh fuck these stupid shelves being too high for me.
"Excuse me?"
Fucking hell! Some people! I am gonna give this person a piece of my...oh god...I must be dreaming...