(no subject)

[corliamat.livejournal.com]

TITLE: One of Those Days
AUTHOR: Corliamat
PAIRING: Ryan/Colin, Brad/Greg and a hinted Chip/Colin
RATING: Probably PG-13, no sex but lots of kissy-gropage
DISCLAIMER:I own naff all except a dodgy imagination and a PC that quite clearly hates me.
SUMMARY: Colin is definitely having a bizarre day
Author's notes: This is completely AU, Colin is a librarian, Ryan a photographer and Greg is Colin's bestest friend. It's mostly nonsensical lol. Written for clayangel's challenge. Might be a smidgen of angst but its mostly humour and fluffiness. I wrote it to put me back in a good mood after my electrician short-circuited the house and wiped out 3 chapters of a fic i'm working on before I got a chance to save it. (insert colourful swear-word here)
Warning: I have a tendency to ramble



Colin cursed loudly, grabbing a towel and exiting the still running shower to pick up the phone.
"Hello?" he huffed.
"Hey Col! Whatcha doing? You sound out of breath."
"Hey Greg" Colin sighed. "I should have known it was you; you have the worst timing of anyone I know!"
"Oh.....OH! Were you and Chip....?"
Colin smiled involuntarily, hearing Brad's "Oh my God you didn't??" in the background followed by a decidedly embarrassed giggle.
"No doofus, I was in the shower. I'm going over to Chip's in about an hour."

Colin's stomach knotted in a familiar way when he thought about his lover. He and Chip had been dating nearly seven months and Colin was still waiting for it to start feeling "right". There was no question of attraction, with his sparkling eyes and features that looked as if they'd been carved out of bronze; Chip Esten was an incredibly good-looking guy. His personality would sometimes be a little too in-your-face for the much more conservative Colin, but all in all it was a good package. It just didn't feel........complete. Nothing had really felt complete since Ryan......

"...so Brad wondered if you wanted to go."
Colin abruptly snapped out of his musings, chagrined to realise he'd missed most of what Greg had just told him.
"Um.....sounds good?"
*silence*
"You didn't hear a word of that did you?"
"Well........"
"Colin!"
"I'm sorry, I just…”
"Your brain went off on a tangent again didn't it?"
"Yeah" Colin sighed. "I just, I keep thinking about Chip and Ryan and…”
"Colin, you gotta stop doing this. Ryan was a year ago, get over him. Chip is in the here and now; although personally I don't *mumble mumble*"
"You don't what?" Colin blinked.
"Nothing! I..."
"He said he doesn't think Chip's good enough for you!" Brad shouted down the receiver.
Colin chuckled at the annoyed "Brad!" followed by sounds of resonant slapping coming from the other end of the line.
"Yeah well" Colin started, "I still don't get what he sees in me. Jeez he could have just about anyone and..."
"Oh bullshit Mochrie!" Greg snapped. "God you drive me crazy! You have the self-esteem of a eunuch in a pissing-up the-wall competition! You know, it's feelings like that, that get you taken advantage of."
"Chance'd be a fine thing" Colin muttered.
"Hmm?"
"Nothing....look, I gotta go or I’ll be late."
"Okay, call me later?"
"Yes mom. See you both tomorrow."

-------------------------------

Greg sighed as he put the phone down.
"I do worry about him" he said softly, taking off his glasses and giving them a brief polish with the bottom of his shirt.
"I don't know why I bother buying you cloths" his lover tutted, "you know you'll scratch the lenses polishing them with your clothing."
"Yes mother" Greg smiled fondly, channelling his Canadian friend.
"He'll be fine" Brad sighed, laying his head on Greg's shoulder and stroking his left hand softly over his lover's denim-clad leg. "He's a big boy now. Besides, he knows we'll string Chip up by his balls and hang him from the rafters of a lesbian bar if he hurts him."
"See that's what I love about you" Greg chuckled, lifting Brad's chin to look into his lover's deep brown eyes," you're so inventive"
Brad's laugh was smothered as Greg pulled him close for a soft, lingering kiss.
"You think this couch is big enough to show you my other hidden talents?" Brad smiled, laying back and pulling Greg down on top of him.

--------------------------------

Colin decided to walk the few miles to Chip's house; it was a warm late-summer night so he'd decided on a light blue short-sleeved shirt, leaving it untucked over his black jeans and boots. Arriving sweaty and flushed was not the most attractive way to begin a hopefully romantic evening.

He wondered if Chip would actually be in, as he wasn't supposed to be seeing him until tomorrow. He'd had a call from the library asking him to work tomorrow night for an inventory. Out with the old, in with the new type thing.

Colin resolutely refused to equate the analogy with himself, instead deciding that it didn’t really matter if Chip wasn’t home, he’d just enjoy the walk.

Palm Springs wasn't that bad a place to be, though he missed the simplicity and subtlety of his life in Seattle greatly.

He and Ryan had lived there together for two years, two blessedly happy years. Colin had moved after the fateful 'this isn't working' conversation Ryan had initiated, fled to his oldest and dearest friend Greg who, with Brad, had helped him put the pieces back together; although he had moments where he wondered if the glue was strong enough.

Colin sometimes envied his friend greatly, wondering if he'd ever have anything even close to the happiness Greg and Brad had shared for the past five years. Only with Ryan had he ever come close to achieving that.

He smiled softly, his mind wandering to first time they'd met. Colin was in his late thirties, with balding blonde hair and a career as a librarian, he'd just about given up on anyone ever being remotely interested in him and resigned himself to living a relationship-free life.

The slender Canadian had also long ago given up trying to hide his ever-increasing bald-spot, instead cropping what was left of his hair close and thanking whatever deity he could think of that he at least had a nicely-shaped skull if nothing else.

The day had started off cold and rainy (big shock) so Colin had opted to wear his favourite blue sweater to keep warm. By the afternoon he had the sleeves rolled up and was cursing the central heating system in three different languages.

He was half-way up a step ladder, a stack of romance novels precariously balanced in one hand when he heard the familiar swish of the automatic doors opening, deciding to ignore whoever it was as the resident Halloween costume on legs known as Doreen was manning the desk.

It was roughly five minutes after that minor event that Colin began to experience the unsettling sensation of being watched.

Placing the last of his pile of books on the shelf, he turned his upper body, nearly falling backwards in surprise at the close proximity of the tall, slender man intently studying the curve of Colin's backside as if it was painted by Rubens and currently hanging in the Tate.

"May I....?" Colin squeaked, clearing his throat and attempting a slightly more successful "May I help you sir?"

When the stranger slowly shifted his gaze, taking in every inch of Colin's body before meeting the librarian's stare with a pair of the most vibrant emerald eyes he had ever seen and breathing a deep-voiced "oh yes" , Colin knew he was hooked, reeled in and quite possibly about to be eaten for breakfast.

Ryan had been waiting for him after work that night, beginning the most happy and exciting two years of his life.

'Its a shame' Colin mused, crossing the road and entering the apartment block Chip lived in. 'I always believed that, as long we were in love, we could work through anything.'

He'd been a big believer in fate in those days; moving from Vancouver to a steady job in Seattle, meeting Ryan within a few months of settling in........it all seemed too good to be true.

'And it was' Colin sighed mentally, pressing the elevator button and waiting patiently for it to descend.

A combination of Ryan's career as a freelance photographer, often working with some of the most unbelievably beautiful people, and Colin's deep-rooted insecurities made for some furious and, now Colin realised, unnecessary arguments. All of which culminated in a not unexpected but still devastating "I love you but this isn't working" conversation one night after another spoiled dinner and resulting fireworks.

'My own damn fault' Colin thought darkly, working through the keys as he approached Chip's front door, 'I should have spent my time smothering him in gratitude for even glancing my way instead of ultimately proving to him why I wasn't worth it. Self-destruction thy name is Mochrie.'

-------------------------

Chip was precariously close to hyperventilating as he prepared the coffee in his small kitchen. Everything was just about perfect; he was wearing his tightest, most uncomfortable clothes that, hopefully, wouldn't be staying on much longer.

Though quite how the absolute fondant fancy of a man currently sitting in his living room was going to peel them off him, considering it took him a good half-hour to shoehorn them on, Chip didn't know.
He just about stopped himself from giggling like a hyperactive teenager at a Justin Timberlake concert at the thought of it.

He'd met the guy earlier in the morning, opening a new art gallery a few blocks away. A small, hardly worth mentioning white lie about his artistic abilities and an invitation along the lines of "come over and see my etchings" later and the evening's entertainment was sorted.

If all went to plan, he and Colin would have the tried and tested "Its me not you" speech tomorrow night. Sad, Chip reflected briefly. Colin was adorable, true, but the tall sandy haired drink of water waiting for him in the lounge........oh my!

"Sonoco" Chip enthused, the tightness of his denims causing him to involuntarily wiggle his way across the living room to the couch.

Three slight bounces later and his pants had creased sufficiently for him to sit and turn to his unwitting victim.

The man's eyes widened slightly as Chip edged somewhat awkwardly closer, virtually planting himself in his 'date's' lap.

"Um.....about the um...the sketches you want to display" he attempted, all the while curving his body back and fighting off the hoarde of charging "panic" rhinos making their way up his spine as Chip's maniacally grinning face followed him, forcing him down on the couch.

"Oh we'll worry about them later darlin'"

Whatever reply the man was about to give fled screaming from his brain when Chip moved in for the kill.

"Oh my God!"

The shocked, familiar voice from the doorway abruptly ended the kiss and two sets of eyes, one dark and lustful the other bright and full of abject terror turned to see a pale, wide-eyed Colin standing a few feet away.
"Colin!"
"Chip......."
"Colin??"
"Ryan?!!"
"You two know each other?"
"Oh my God!"
"That's my line."

Abruptly pushing Chip off of him and sending the shorter man sprawling ungracefully across the floor, Ryan stood up, never once taking his eyes away from the shaking form of his ex-lover.

"Colin this is so not what it looks like. He said he had some sketches and I..."

"Oh God......worlds colliding in the shittiest way......I have to..."

Ryan felt his stomach knot appreciatively as Colin's chocolate eyes locked with his.

"I'm sorry I........I mean I didn't know that.........how come you're?....Well it doesn't really........I mean its not my place to...to....." *Blink* "I have to go!"

With that Colin did an about turn and was out of the front door before Ryan even registered what he hadn't said.

"No....Colin, Wait! Crap!"

Ryan grabbed his wallet from the coffee table, stopping briefly to glare accusingly at Chip, who was still attempting to manoeuvre his limbs into an upright position on the floor, before high-tailing it after his ex-boyfriend.


------------------

*Brrrrrrrrrrrringgggg!*

*poke* "Brad, quit snoring."

"Its not me you four-eyed gimboid! Its the phone."

"Fuck" Greg muttered, blinking his eyes open and untangling himself from his lover's prostrate form on the couch.
"Hello?" he yawned, feeling blindly about for his shirt. "hellooooooo?"

"You have the phone upside down."

"Hmm? Oh.....go put some coffee on" Greg groused, poking an amused Brad in the butt and turning the phone.

"Hell..."

"Jesus Greg! I don't know what to do! I walked in and he was.......with Chip......on the sofa.........ohgodohgodohgodohgod!"

"Whoa there horsey! Who was doing what with Chip on the sofa?"

At this last question Brad executed a graceful u-turn on his way to the kitchen and sat back next to Greg, who obligingly turned the phone a little so they could both hear.

"Ryan! He's here, as in......HERE! I walked in and he was kissing Chip.......oh godohgodohgodohgod!"

"Fuck!"

"Fuck!"

"I know right?!"

"What are you, I mean where is he? I mean.......fuck!"

"Do you mind if I come over....I'm a complete basket-case at the moment. Its a good job I took the elevator and not the stairs, I'd have been tempted to fling myself down them!"

"Colin!!"

"I'm joking, relax! Besides, i'd probably only end up breaking several bones...."

"COLIN!" in stereo.
"Sorry.....my brain is just....well, I think I might have left it at Chip's place because I don't seem to be able to form a coherent thought at the moment."

"Where are you?"

"Just leaving the building, i'll make my way over to yours. Should be there in about thirty minutes."

"You're walking?"

"Yeah, I need to clear my head a little. That was........"

"Intense?"

"That'll do. See you in thirty."

"Okay, don't walk over any tall bridges or......" Greg cursed loudly as the line cleared.

"I think we're gonna need something stronger than coffee" Brad gulped.

------------------------------

'Maybe I'm asleep and I’m going to wake up screaming and sweaty in my own room.' Colin thought hopefully, marching at top speed, head down, along the path.

Twilight had cast an eerie ambiance over the streets, completely unnoticed by the slender, pale Canadian lost in his own thoughts, auto-pilot taking him in the direction of Greg's house.

'I mean what the Hell is he doing here? Of all the places! He couldn't have known I was here, probably wouldn't have come if he did!

Oh crap!

And with Chip of all people??! I'd call it irony but that somehow doesn't seem strong enough. Fucked-up....that's closer.

No, fucked-up is the fact that I feel more betrayed by Ryan than Chip. Its been over a year you idiot! He's probably had more pricks than a second-hand dartboard since then so quit having an attack of the vapours over it.

Oh crap squared!

I hope this doesn't mean I have to move again! No, fuck it, i'm not moving.
You just caught your ex, the love of your life, lip-locked with your current lover and you're talking to yourself about moving?? Damn it! Most of my brain cells appear to have taken a vacation to my ass and left me with a skeleton crew of rookies!'

"Hey cutie."

"Hi.....wait a minute, what?"

Colin looked up, coming face to chest with a large, hirsute, grinning leviathan who looked like he'd just learned to run amok this morning.

Said leviathan thought the shorter man looked adorably confused as he looked behind before greeting him with a bemused gaze.

"Did you just call me cutie?"

"Mhmm"

"Are you insane?"

"No" the man smiled, wrapping his large, meaty hands round the smaller Canadian's shoulders and slamming him painfully against a wall, "just horny."

Not caring that he'd just 'meep'ed like a big girl, Colin went into tilt mode and began struggling in earnest, twisting his head to avoid the fetid beer-breath and accompanying lips seeking out his mouth.

"What the fucking.........GET OFF!"

"Come on" the beast crooned, deciding to concentrate on Colin's neck seeing as a kiss seemed off the menu for the moment; "I have plenty of money."

"You......what?!"

Colin took in his surroundings, somewhat alarmed to realise he'd taken a wrong turn and ended up in the red light district.

"Oh lordy! Look, I’m not a prostitute! Get off me!"

His attacker paused in his supper of neck and collar bone to rake his eyes over Colin's outfit, raising an incredulous eyebrow.

Colin considered feeling offended, but that thought was abruptly cut off by an animalistic roar from his right, swiftly followed by a pained grunt from his attacker, now residing on the ground and holding a hand up to his rapidly bruising chin.

"You keep your fucking hands off!" Ryan growled, towering menacingly over the prostrate figure, his right fist clenched ready for another blow.

The burly man backed off immediately, cursing LA and its lunatic population as he got to his feet and attempted to beat the land speed record in a pair of ratty old trainers.

As his eyes met with Ryan's, the silence was such that Colin briefly wondered if the rapidly fleeing hair-bear had inadvertently created a vacuum in his wake.

Then he wondered if the guy would get stopped by the LAPD and issued a speeding ticket.

Then he told his brain to shut the fuck up.

"Colin" Ryan breathed, his whole body shaking with adrenaline and exertion.

"Ryanmmmph!" Colin found himself once again pinned to the wall, although this time his mouth was being ravished by the sweet lips of his erstwhile ex-lover.

"Ry....." he attempted again, only to be cut off abruptly by a tongue being shoved unceremoniously into his slightly open mouth.

"Fuck it" his brain decided, relaxing into a hungry, wet, claiming and sorely missed kiss.

Colin moaned wantonly as Ryan's talented tongue invaded his mouth, wrapping around his own tongue, moving on to map out his teeth before brushing against the roof of his mouth, causing Colin to wrinkle his nose and snort at the tickly sensation, tasting Ryan's breath at his answering chuckle.

'Oh God I’ve missed this' Colin thought wrapping his arms around Ryan's back as his mouth continued to be thoroughly plundered. 'I never realised how much I needed this. How the Hell did I survive this long without......waitaminute......wait wait wait.......'

"Ryanmmmp........Ry...Ryan!" Colin managed to push back the questing lips long enough to catch his breath and take in his surroundings.

Apparently business was poor tonight because they'd managed to attract quite an audience consisting of the local prostitute population.

His face now burning red with embarrassment, Colin attempted once more to communicate with Ryan, who had moved on to his neck, growling possessively at the red mark left there by Colin's attacker.

"Ryan!" Colin demanded, smacking the taller man on the head. Unfocused, lust-ridden and beautifully shining green eyes rose to meet his own.

"What the Hell are you doing here?"

"Hmm? Oh.....looking for you."

"You.....pardon me?"

"I've spent the last year tracking you down Col, or at least trying to. I spent three months in Canada, thinking you'd gone back there."

"But wmph!" Colin got no further in his question as Ryan decided it would be an opportune moment to suck on that temptingly full bottom lip he missed so much.

"Ry....leggo my lib" Colin pleaded, involuntarily lurching forward as Ryan pulled back, forgetting to release said bottom lip from between his teeth.

"Sorry" he smiled sheepishly, running his thumb soothingly over Colin's mouth. "I.....a few months after you left I realised I couldn't live without you. I was a total prick Col and I'm so so very sorry. I had to find you! Its like I’m half a person without you. I made the biggest mistake of my life letting you go."

"What? No Ry, no. If anything it was me. I drove you away with my stupid insecoomph!"

The part of Colin's brain that wasn't currently liquefying under the onslaught of yet another toe-tingling lip-lock, was registering a state of feeling slightly miffed at not being able to get a bloody word in edgeways.

When Ryan's large, warm hands slid down Colin's back, settling on his butt and squeezing him closer (if 'closer' had been physically possible at this point), the previously disgruntled part of his brain decided to wave the white flag and surrender to the masses, successfully quelling that particular rebellion.

"Colin" Ryan huffed, mouth hovering millimetres away from the jellifying Canadian's, "you can't blame yourself for any of this. I knew about your insecurities, we talked about them. I knew the Hell your father put you through, I knew all about the rough times at school, how shy you were.....are.....I should have taken that into account, I.."

Colin decided that engaging in a serious conversation while a beautiful man is massaging your ass and breathing into your mouth is a ridiculously stupid thing to attempt. So, with a not inconsiderable amount of triumph, he beat Ryan at his own game, cupping his hand round the back of his tall lover's head and crushing their mouths together.

"We should get out of here" Ryan whispered. "How close is your place?"

"Closer if we run" Colin chuckled, grabbing Ryan's hand in his and setting off, ignoring the groans of disappointment and the smattering applause from the people on the street.

------------------------

"The idea" Ryan laughed, slightly out of breath as he was dragged near-running up the path leading to Colin's house, "was that, having located you through some of Greg's friends, I would move here, set up my gallery and slowly try to.....I guess woo you. See if there was any chance I could get back into your affections."

Ryan was then dragged through an open door, Colin deciding the best way to shut it being slamming Ryan up against it and kissing him senseless.

"I'll make you 'woo'" Colin chuckled, once again grabbing Ryan's hand and pulling him toward the bedroom.

"Nice place you got here" Ryan noted, the scenery passing him by much as it would if he were on a high-speed train.

------------------------

Colin smiled contentedly, snuggling was definitely the best way to sleep he decided, his head pillowed on Ryan's smooth, solid chest, listening to the steady strong heartbeat beneath his ear while Ryan lazily stroked his back.

They would have to talk more later, that much was certain, but now was the time to enjoy the limb-deadening peace and tranquillity that always followed several hours of energetic, mind-blowing sex.

Ah.......the quiet........the peace.....the tranquil darkness.......the silence........'the fuck??!'

Both Colin and Ryan sat up abruptly as Colin's bedroom door burst open with a force that almost took it off its hinges, immediately followed by two panting, coughing and gasping shadowy bodies.

"Brad...the...fuck I’m too old for this.....the light switch!"

"K......lemme just.....where the fuck is it?"

"How the Hell should I know?!"

*Click*

"Shit that's bright!"

"Well you told me to turn it on!"

"Um....guys?"

Greg squinted at the two figures on the bed, frantically vying for the sheets to cover their modesty.

*Blink*

"Oh.......hi Colin" Greg greeted, a smidgen of a hint (the size of a jumbo jet) of sarcasm in his voice.

"Er.." Colin began, looking a little concerned at Brad who was sinking slowly to his knees and muttering something about a defibrillator.

"You see..." Greg interrupted, going for indignant but settling for somewhat wheezy and high-pitched, "some people.....oh, hi Ryan, how are you?"

"Hey Greg, I’m fi....."

"Good good, now, as I was saying…” Greg interrupted, turning his attention back to a rapidly reddening Colin, then quickly drawing his eyes back to Ryan.

"Erm..you might wanna.." Greg smiled, making a lifting motion with his hands and looking pointedly at Ryan's crotch.

"Oh!" Ryan replied sheepishly, lifting the sheet a little higher and pinking slightly at the ears.

"Anyhoo, as I was saying Colin.....COLIN!"

Colin started slightly, having followed Greg's gaze and remaining fixated on the spot now thankfully covered by a sheet.

"Um.....yes?"

"People, who call their best friends in the middle of the night all suicidal and devastated and saying they would be there in thirty minutes, usually either turn up in said thirty minutes or…”

*Wheeze*

"You ok Brad?"

Brad merely nodded, holding a hand up for Greg to continue.

"Or," Greg did as instructed, turning back to Colin, "they at least call said friends so said friends wouldn't panic, try calling five fucking times before concluding that their suicidal, devastated best friend has obviously decided its all gone tits-up and committed the Canadian equivalent of hari-kari causing said friends to freak out completely and sprint like Drew Carey with a fucking dinner ticket over to his house to try and save his sorry ass!!!"

Colin winced visibly at the rising pitch and volume of Greg's tirade, accompanied by a glare that could strip the paint off of a NASA rocket.

"Oh God guys, I’m sorry.......I.....we got kind of, carried away?"

"Its my fault" Ryan interjected, "I..."

"Ya know......right now...I don't care" Greg sniffed, lifting a flagging Brad to his feet and backing out the door.

"We are going to the spare room, where we shall sleep off tonight's escapade and spend tomorrow morning glaring you into several guilt trips and a free breakfast and threatening you…” at this Greg looked pointedly at a wide-eyed Ryan, " with physical bodily harm if you EVER hurt him again. Understood??"

"Yes Greg" came the meek duet.

"Good.....well.....goodnight then."

"Good…” *slam* "night."

Ryan gulped audibly as they settled back down.

"I am in so much trouble."

"I shouldn't worry about it" Colin sighed, settling himself on Ryan and closing his eyes. "By the sound of their lungs they probably won't make it to the morning."

Ryan chuckled, lightly slapping his lover on the arm. "I love you."

"I love you too."

'Ah, the peace and tranquillity of the night' Colin sighed to himself.

Nothing but the sound of crickets chirping, Ryan's slow steady breathing and the resonant coughing, wheezing and muffled pledges to give up smoking coming from his best friends in the room next door.
Life just doesn't get any better than this.